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Thread: What type is this guy?

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    Default What type is this guy?

    This is someone in my husband's family whom I have never talked to much, but we stayed with him for a week and I feel like I know him pretty well now. I had his wife typed at ENFj but now I think she might be INFp after staying with her so long. She seems really outgoing, but it seems like she's putting out lots of Fe to kind of hide what's really going on inside her or something. Anyway, I'm not sure about her type. I could be way off on her but I do think she is either Alpha or Beta, and I *think* she's an introvert.

    He is 55. He has no job. His parents made some good investments and he lives partially off income from that and partially off his wife's salary. He has never had a real job and has no intention of ever getting one.

    He is in amazing shape for a 55-year-old. He takes very good care of himself, exercising very regularly, and he participates in a large number of sports. His wife told me that his regular schedule is to wake up, ride his bike for an hour or so, walk to the coffee shop to visit friends (he is very particular about which coffee shop), take a nap, ride his bike to the tennis courts to play tennis with his friends, take another nap, do some exercising, and then take a shower and go hang out with friends for the evening. He often goes out to visit friends without her and she seems fine with that. She told me his schedule because she thinks it's funny. She's fine with it. He goes out to visit friends almost every single night. It sounds like she goes maybe 25% of the time.

    He loves to recommend books, movies, restaurants, etc. He loves to be the authority on these matters and it seems to be important to him that people agree with his opinions about these things.

    He is really tidy. He cleans all the time. If a dish gets dirty, he immediately grabs it and cleans it. He says he never uses the dishwasher because there are never enough dirty dishes. He also does most of the cooking and makes breakfast every morning and cleans up after it, and usually makes dinner for his wife even if he's going out with friends and won't be there to eat it. His wife likes to cook too. They have huge discussions over who is going to cook. They also argue in the car about the best way to get places. It's hilarious -like Mr. Incredible and Elastagirl in the Incredibles. He also has a bit of an issue with road rage. LOL

    He is really cheap and is proud of it. He loves to talk about things he's gotten for free or really cheap, and how he's managed to fix things that seemed beyond repair, thereby saving money. He told me that he took his wife to the hospital and dropped her off, then left and stood by the meter watching for meter readers so he could avoid paying parking, and then drove to pick her up when she was done. (She wasn't sick or anything - it was just a routine appointment.) He also said that he has a friend who gives him things for free, and he thought that was really cool, but then it occurred to him that the things might be stolen, which made him feel really guilty, so he asked the guy to stop getting things for him, but he came up with another reason for not wanting the stuff because he didn't want to make the guy feel bad. Fi dual seeking or something like that? I'm not sure but he seems to be fishing when he talks about this kind of thing.

    He is constantly talking, which I find funny since in the past when I've seen him he's been completely silent, but we were always in groups in the past. My husband says he isn't comfortable with him because he feels like this guy is wanting to entertain and be entertained all the time. I thought he was a really nice guy and a lot of fun to talk to. My husband said he is nice and he'd probably get along with him better if we lived closer but that this guy could stand to be more relaxed.

    So, any ideas?
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    ISTp?

    Probably S type

    SF?
    ESFj - probably not
    ISFp - probably not
    ESFp - ? probably not
    ISFj - probably not

    Si - alpha or delta
    Maaaaybe ISTj, but doesn't really seem like it
    Probably not ESTp
    ESTj? I don't know.




    what does his temperament seem like? IJ, IP, EP, EJ?


    Strikes me as ISTp, because he seems to center his life around
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker Mom
    walk to the coffee shop to visit friends (he is very particular about which coffee shop), take a nap, ride his bike to the tennis courts to play tennis with his friends, take another nap,
    ROFL. He takes naps few times in a day??
    Reminds me of my boyfriend.

    Eh.. Lots of Si methinks.
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    sx/sp

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    ISFp
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    ISFp
    yeah.

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    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    ISFp
    yeah.
    agreed.
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    He is constantly talking, which I find funny since in the past when I've seen him he's been completely silent, but we were always in groups in the past. My husband says he isn't comfortable with him because he feels like this guy is wanting to entertain and be entertained all the time. I thought he was a really nice guy and a lot of fun to talk to. My husband said he is nice and he'd probably get along with him better if we lived closer but that this guy could stand to be more relaxed.

    So, any ideas?
    That is what made me think ISTp over ISFp.
    'More relaxed"
    leading seems the call.

    What type is your husband, slackermom?
    INTp? I suppose that would make sense, if he was getting Fe polr hits.
    ISFp is the consensus then.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    I also think ISFp over ISTp. That part about constantly talking and wanting to entertain and be entertained all the time... I usually get that from my ISFp friends but not the ISTps.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    He is constantly talking, which I find funny since in the past when I've seen him he's been completely silent, but we were always in groups in the past. My husband says he isn't comfortable with him because he feels like this guy is wanting to entertain and be entertained all the time. I thought he was a really nice guy and a lot of fun to talk to. My husband said he is nice and he'd probably get along with him better if we lived closer but that this guy could stand to be more relaxed.

    So, any ideas?
    That is what made me think ISTp over ISFp.
    That's the part that made me think ISFp > ISTp.
    INTp
    sx/sp

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    Indeed a strong Si type.

    From dichotomies, he seems narrator-positivist and obstinate, which would suggest ESFj.

    This also suggests an EJ Si (proactive, restless):

    He is really tidy. He cleans all the time. If a dish gets dirty, he immediately grabs it and cleans it. He says he never uses the dishwasher because there are never enough dirty dishes. He also does most of the cooking and makes breakfast every morning and cleans up after it, and usually makes dinner for his wife even if he's going out with friends and won't be there to eat it. His wife likes to cook too. They have huge discussions over who is going to cook.
    This suggests a restless person in Si matters - a Si IP would be more easy-going about it.

    And this:

    He is really cheap and is proud of it. He loves to talk about things he's gotten for free or really cheap, and how he's managed to fix things that seemed beyond repair, thereby saving money. He told me that he took his wife to the hospital and dropped her off, then left and stood by the meter watching for meter readers so he could avoid paying parking, and then drove to pick her up when she was done. (She wasn't sick or anything - it was just a routine appointment.)
    Talking so much about Te matters - obviously wanting to appear good in managing money - suggests more Te role than Te PoLR.

    He is constantly talking, which I find funny since in the past when I've seen him he's been completely silent, but we were always in groups in the past.
    That is the only thing that would suggest Fi>Fe and would support ISTp, along with the liking for Te matters. It does seem odd for an ESFj, but perhaps it was the precise people of the group that made him uncomfortable.

    My husband says he isn't comfortable with him because he feels like this guy is wanting to entertain and be entertained all the time.
    Yeah, that's your husband being annoyed by the guy's active Fe. That's what speaks most strongly against ISTp, as stefana also noticed.



    My husband said he is nice and he'd probably get along with him better if we lived closer but that this guy could stand to be more relaxed
    *alarm bells*

    Would an ISTp really say that an ISFp needs to be "more relaxed" as his chief characteristic? No, that is what Si IPs say about EJs.

    I think ESFj fits best all the information. ISFp comes first to mind due to his easy-going lifestyle, sure, but the details of his behavior, and Slacker Mom's husband's comments, suggest ESFj, strong Si subtype. What's most obvious in him is Si, which is why everyone thought of ISXp.

    He's a Si EJ, but clearly ESFj rather than ESTj. He's in what Smilingeyes would call concrete Si for an EJ.

    ISFp is also possible but I don't think that's the case.
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    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Here's what Smilingeyes wrote about concrete Si:

    Concrete Si

    CALCULATING, JUDICIOUSNESS, TACTICAL & CAREFUL are very high and decreasing slowly.
    DEMOCRACY, POSITIVISM, NARRATIVE & RESULTS are high and increasing.
    OBSTINACY, CHEERFUL & CONSTRUCT-CREATING are moderate and increasing rapidly.

    Pride of his personal comfort and freedom and willingness to show it around. Wishes to make others enjoy the comfort available so that they would not dare to threaten the comfort. Wishes to convince other of the lack of requirement for things to change. Liable to use strong emotional bursts to make people calm down quickly.

    It does seem like the state where that guy is in, doesn't it? And note that ESFj can be arrived at either by "dichotomic socionics" or by "model A" socionics, where his use of Te, Si and Fe provide the best clues, as well as Slacker Mom's husband's reaction to him.

    This is an excellent example where everything fits together.
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    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Thanks for your input everyone!

    Yes Expat, I think he's Ej over Ip. He's very restless.

    And my husband is ISTp, UDP.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    I thought Si creative when I read it, and Expat's post makes it seem more likely. Your description had more of a focus on Si and EJ than anything, so I'm not certain if he's ESFj or ESTj. I was thinking ESTj until the part about what your husband thinks of him, but now I'm not sure.

    The military like regime and cleanliness seem ESTj > ESFj (based on the ESxjs I've known irl). Also, my personal experiences with ESFjs would suggest that they're not cheap... they're much, much more concerned with quality than cost.
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    These are good points, and since he seems a clear Si subtype EJ, certainly ESTj is possible. But from Slacker Mom's description, I still think that he seemed Fe dominant with Te role rather than the opposite.

    As for his "military-like cleanliness" -- well, I think it must be seen in the context that he's not working, but he still remains an EJ, so he has to focus his restlessness somewhere. I have seen ESFjs being somewhat like that, although he did seem a bit over-the-top - but, again, because he's not doing anything else.
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    military like cleanliness can be very ESFj. i'll echo expat, that EJs have tons of restless energy and have to find something to focus it on, even if that means doing excessive and unnecessary cleaning.
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    OK this is funny and about an earlier post that is probably forgotten by most, but remember some test (I think by Hugo) where it said that ESTjs always have nice shoes? Well this guy has shoes that are falling apart and full of holes.

    ESTj is one type I was considering for him so I won't discount that suggestion. ESFj seems a bit more likely to me because of how my husband reacts to him. My husband seems to me to be uncomfortable around him.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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