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Thread: Question about ESFjs

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    Default Question about ESFjs

    Do ESFjs feel resentful when people don't appreciate their efforts to help others? It seems like a non dominant Fe type would be more inclined to show resentment about this?

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    they probably do feel resentful.

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    Would an LII feel resentful if no one listened to his logical analysis?
    Would an ILI feel resentful if no one listened to his criticisms, or saw any value in them ever?



    I would think so.
    And I know so at least on one account because it was directly expressed to me. An ESE was talking about how she doesn't mind taking care of other people, but she felt like she was not respected and taken advantage of --- mostly because there was no reciprocation of care or effort, or really, positive acknowledgments. People just took her services, and took them for granted.

    The resentment sprung not from doing the duty or providing the service/care to the other people, but that it was not very appreciated.
    There were implications that she felt obligated to care for some people (in her family), and would never turn away care from them, but it was stressing for her because of the lack of appreciation.


    In her situation it was very clear she was a caregiver and enjoyed it so, but she wasn't really getting her end of the deal: which is not a lot, one could say -- she just wanted appreciation. She did not want direct reciprocation; as I said, she enjoyed the caregiver role very much.



    Extended analysis:
    To use perhaps more vivid of an example:
    It would be like putting a lot of tender effort and skill into an act of pleasure, such as a blowjob, or a cake, or gift, etc,

    and then having someone walk away, just saying "thanks", and then the ESE.
    (especially consider the sexual example: I believe that would be most devastating.)


    I think the ESFj I mentioned above was especially wary of that, as she took measures to preemptively defend against that, though it was all subconscious of course.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    no one likes to waste their efforts

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    Quote Originally Posted by science as magic
    no one likes to waste their efforts
    And this is the underlying reason right here.
    "Alpha Quadra subforum. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." ~Obi-Wan Kenobi
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    well, i was thinking more along the lines of, how people are seeing their efforts used. For example, i remember jonathan saying that Ti people must be told how great their efforts are by Fe. So it seems like the Ti people would be resentful if they didn't get the Fe. But then an Fe person is supposed to feel like noone is taking care of them if someone doesn't Ti for them, according to the theory.

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    LII:
    Confident in T + N
    Unconfident in S (unsure of Si and wary of Se)
    Unconfident yet accepting in terms of F (Appreciates poisitve Fe, distances from negative Fe. Fi role)

    ESE:
    Confident in F + S
    Unconfident in N (unsure of Ne and wary of Ni)
    Unconfident yet accepting in terms of T (Appreciates positive/constructive Ti, Te role)


    That exemplifies a way I've been thinking about types lately. Nothing 'new', but a different sort of Ti order.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Logos
    And this is the underlying reason right here.
    that was my way of saying that permutation esfj is be | sepyt eht ssorca

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