Signs of SEE

[dextrous]

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[Ruby13357]

Why would his sociotype matter? Just get to know him as an individual

Just saying this because not all duals managed to have a happily-ever-after marriage.
My ILI brother is married to his dual an SEE but now he is acting like a single man, he rarely comes home to her and now he had even started attending wedding dinners by himself without bringing along his dual wife. They had a strained marriage despite being duals.

My other siblings' on the other hand, they were married with non-duals, one of them is married to their mirage type whilst the other is married to their kindred type, and both their marriages are thriving, because their partner had a secure attachment style.

[End]

Why would his sociotype matter? Just get to know him as an individual

Just saying this because not all duals managed to have a happily-ever-after marriage.
My ILI brother is married to his dual an SEE but now he is acting like a single man, he rarely comes home to her and now he had even started attending wedding dinners by himself without bringing along his dual wife. They had a strained marriage despite being duals.

My other siblings' on the other hand, they were married with non-duals, one of them is married to their mirage type whilst the other is married to their kindred type, and both their marriages are thriving, because their partner had a secure attachment style.

Very true. Duality ain't shit if your attachment isn't secure. Have you told the ILI about attachment theory? I have several resources to recommend if he has not. It is imperative that he learn about it ASAP. The fate of his marriage and all that entails does hang in the balance.

While attachment theory is important it won't conquer the very real facts about how the female mind operates however. The sad fact is there is a "Time Limit" in regards to fixing a relationship once a woman has concluded it's not working out. Once past that point nothing save Jesus Christ himself descending from heaven to tell her to "give him another chance" will convince her to do so. This takes a long time to reach. Years in fact far as anyone who has been observing the data/doing the research/etc. but once that "Point of No Return" has been reached nothing will ever convince her save, again, literal Divine Intervention. Not even truly secure Women seem capable of it (though I totally get it when that's often after they discovered he'd been cheating on her for all those years. Yeah I'd never trust that fucker ever again either).

I fear they've already divorced but if not there may yet be time to salvage it all. Heck, this post has convinced me to do what I thought I must do but others in my family have tried to dissuade me from doing it for reasons that are all too apparent now. I thank you for that. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

[Ruby13357]

Very true. Duality ain't shit if your attachment isn't secure. Have you told the ILI about attachment theory? I have several resources to recommend if he has not. It is imperative that he learn about it ASAP. The fate of his marriage and all that entails does hang in the balance.

While attachment theory is important it won't conquer the very real facts about how the female mind operates however. The sad fact is there is a "Time Limit" in regards to fixing a relationship once a woman has concluded it's not working out. Once past that point nothing save Jesus Christ himself descending from heaven to tell her to "give him another chance" will convince her to do so. This takes a long time to reach. Years in fact far as anyone who has been observing the data/doing the research/etc. but once that "Point of No Return" has been reached nothing will ever convince her save, again, literal Divine Intervention. Not even truly secure Women seem capable of it (though I totally get it when that's often after they discovered he'd been cheating on her for all those years. Yeah I'd never trust that fucker ever again either).

I fear they've already divorced but if not there may yet be time to salvage it all. Heck, this post has convinced me to do what I thought I must do but others in my family have tried to dissuade me from doing it for reasons that are all too apparent now. I thank you for that. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

My ILI brother most likely had no knowledge about attachment theory, as he hadn't brought up this topic before.

And the both of them hadn't divorced, it's just that their marriage is on the rocks as the both of them had personality clashes, despite being duals. Hmm and I don't think my ILI brother had ever cheated on my sis-in-law, because I tend to see him around very frequently, mostly when he isn't at work he will be spending time over here at our parents' house, and he will often come over here alone by himself, I'll see him at least 2-3 times a week over here, and he will stay overnight over here too. Even during the weekends he will be over here instead of spending time with his dual wife and his kids. I don't think he has time to be unfaithful for this reason, because whenever he isn't at work he will be over here.

As for my SEE sis-in-law, I'm not sure if she is faithful though, are Se-base types ever faithful?
I remembered there was this post I've came across before on reddit, about this SLE mentioning about how an SEE woman was cheating on her husband with him, and she was on the phone sweet-talking to her husband whilst she was in bed with the SLE at the same time. Hopefully my SEE sis-in-law isn't that way.

[End]

My ILI brother most likely had no knowledge about attachment theory, as he hadn't brought up this topic before.

And the both of them hadn't divorced, it's just that their marriage is on the rocks as the both of them had personality clashes, despite being duals. Hmm and I don't think my ILI brother had ever cheated on my sis-in-law, because I tend to see him around very frequently, mostly when he isn't at work he will be spending time over here at our parents' house, and he will often come over here alone by himself, I'll see him at least 2-3 times a week over here, and he will stay overnight over here too. Even during the weekends he will be over here instead of spending time with his dual wife and his kids. I don't think he has time to be unfaithful for this reason, because whenever he isn't at work he will be over here.

As for my SEE sis-in-law, I'm not sure if she is faithful though, are Se-base types ever faithful?
I remembered there was this post I've came across before on reddit, about this SLE mentioning about how an SEE woman was cheating on her husband with him, and she was on the phone sweet-talking to her husband whilst she was in bed with the SLE at the same time. Hopefully my SEE sis-in-law isn't that way.

Sounds like there's still time to salvage the whole mess then. I'd try to inform them of it. For me the big insight was from Evolutionary Psychology and how attachment theory really made a whole lot of sense in that light. I told my brother about it (he's an SEE so that conversation went easy) and we've sense started hanging out a lot more whereas before we were almost estranged thanks to my Avoidance. Whole life got a lot better once I understood how and why I wasn't getting into any kind of relationships with anyone. I was a full on Hikikomori before I discovered this. Well, minus the whole "living in their parent's basement" bit but other than that yeah, zero social life. Now I have one and things are much better (also helped that I got a new job where I wasn't working second shift).

As for resources the two big names that enlightened me were Dr. Robert Glover and Adam Lane Smith. Their work on the subject is phenomenal. The later even has a whole youtube channel now with a ton of videos on many aspects but mostly focusing on romantic relationships. His example of the "Good Partner vs. Bad Partner" was also majorly eye opening for me. Especially his rather needling closer for it. Most of us have been/are being, in some way, the bad partner. We're hurting those we want to be close to by being anxious or avoidant. Our needs and desires aren't burdens for others (especially our romantic interests). Sharing them won't drive other people away but instead bring them closer to us and make them feel loved and valued.

Well, they won't drive away people who actually love us and want what's best for us. If the other person runs away or absolutely refuses to reciprocate that sharing (and thus allowing you to fulfil their needs and desires as well) no matter how much you try to explain it all then it was always a lost cause from the very beginning. You can bring a horse to the water, but ya can't make it drink as the old saying goes.

Also, base types can be quite faithful and wonderful if they're securely attached. Polyamorous desires are usually a big sign of broken attachment for both men and women. At least, if they're serious about fulfilling them for real. Every man has a fantasy of having a harem, but it's just a fantasy. Any man who really thinks long and hard about it realizes that it'd be a complete nightmare IRL because women are real human beings and will act as real human women will and Protip: if she's OK with being in a Harem you can be 99% sure she's got broken attachment.

Same goes for women. They may fantasize about a reverse harem, but they'd really only be banging the top male on the regular. What they're really after is the status and security that comes from being overtly desired by several Strong, High Status, Sexy men. A thing that comes naturally if she's securely attached and is at a healthy weight 99% of the time. All a girl really has to be is HB 7 in looks for men and, unless she lost the genetic lottery in a big way, she can get there with a bit of effort if she's not there already. Just be at a healthy weight and use just a bit of makeup and pretty much every woman on Earth is at that level.

[timber]

Very true. Duality ain't shit if your attachment isn't secure. Have you told the ILI about attachment theory? I have several resources to recommend if he has not. It is imperative that he learn about it ASAP. The fate of his marriage and all that entails does hang in the balance.

While attachment theory is important it won't conquer the very real facts about how the female mind operates however. The sad fact is there is a "Time Limit" in regards to fixing a relationship once a woman has concluded it's not working out. Once past that point nothing save Jesus Christ himself descending from heaven to tell her to "give him another chance" will convince her to do so. This takes a long time to reach. Years in fact far as anyone who has been observing the data/doing the research/etc. but once that "Point of No Return" has been reached nothing will ever convince her save, again, literal Divine Intervention. Not even truly secure Women seem capable of it (though I totally get it when that's often after they discovered he'd been cheating on her for all those years. Yeah I'd never trust that fucker ever again either).

I fear they've already divorced but if not there may yet be time to salvage it all. Heck, this post has convinced me to do what I thought I must do but others in my family have tried to dissuade me from doing it for reasons that are all too apparent now. I thank you for that. The Lord works in mysterious ways.

I've recently done a lot of work with attachment theory. Went through a very, very, very difficult break-up last year, and part of the personal, difficult growth, was acknowledging the underlying attatcment styles that were at play. I don't wish to repeat what happened again, and part of that, large part of that, is bringing attachment styles, relics from childhood and teen years, into the forefront and growing past them and incorporating them into a healthy secure style.

The16types synchronicity machine strikes again.