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    Default Type my ex

    Towards the end of our relationship was when I first learned about socionics and I typed her as an ISFJ. My understanding of socionics wasn't even 1/5 of what it is now so I don't put that much faith in my typing, but I'm REALLY CURIOUS what type she is. Is she really ISFJ? I've been trying to figure it out for so long that I'm just confused now and could use some outside opinions. She definitely didn't feel like my dual.

    When we first met I thought she was cute but I wasn't interested in pursuing her because she had a boyfriend that she had been with for a few years. We clicked pretty well and soon started hanging out a lot. Anyways she tells me that they're having problems blah blah. Then she tells me they broke up. I have a rule against going for girls that have boyfriends and even though they broke up I felt real iffy about the whole thing. But one day we end up fooling around and after that she's real aggressive about us having a relationship. Usually I'm real chill about that kinda shit...more like whatever happens happens. So because of that I was thinking about the whole victim/aggressor thing.

    Anyways...

    First of all she's really emotional. She would have crazy mood swings, which seems to be common in the girls that I date. She was also really dependent on me for everything and would even want me to make all her decisions for her.

    She was a huge daddy's girl and after their relationship soured she's had a boyfriend constantly. She was really really clingy which drove me nuts.

    She kinda had an obsession with little kid things, and would talk to me like one a lot of the time.

    She is really picky about what she likes, such as food. Absolutely refuses to eat/drink/whatever something she doesn't like. She has a hedonistic streak and really loves sex/food/liquor/weed.

    She's really jealous and insecure. I'll be flirty sometimes and it drove her nuts.

    She is extremely observant and always knows exactly what is going on around her and where everything is. She is also really good at directions because she can photographically remember to turn at which tree, gas station, etc. to get to places.

    In high school she was captain of the cheerleading squad and straight A student blah blah. But she had a lot of trouble in college comprehending more theoretical stuff. We could talk a lot but only about stupid stuff like gossip, our pasts, etc. I wasn't really able to talk to her about stuff I'm really interested in like psychology, business, etc.

    She's a really good dancer and loved going clubbing. But other than clubbing she seems to enjoy more introverted activities like just watching movies at home. She's the type of girl that kinda stops hanging out with her friends when she gets a boyfriend and tries to spend all her time with him. However she has really good social skills and makes friends very easily. She had a really graceful walk.

    She would really take care of me a lot such as cleaning/cooking/laundry which I liked a lot. But for some reason she did it in a way that didn't really fulfill my needs...its hard to explain.

    She likes taking care of other people too. If she went out with her friends she would always be the sober one making sure everyone else wasn't throwing up on themselves.

    We fought a lot because I was trying to get away from her and have some time for myself. She would always be chasing me and coming up with reasons why I had to go see her. Although our opposing abilities seemed to complement each other well, it just didn't work. Something was off.

    This is her on the left


    Again her on the left


    Notice how unhappy we both look in the picture lol


    Arrite I know this is long as shit but I'm really interested in hearing what everyone thinks. Thanks.
    ENTj




    "A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it..."

    "All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible."
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    she sounds SEE

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    She's a really good dancer and loved going clubbing. But other than clubbing she seems to enjoy more introverted activities like just watching movies at home. She's the type of girl that kinda stops hanging out with her friends when she gets a boyfriend and tries to spend all her time with him. However she has really good social skills and makes friends very easily. She had a really graceful walk.

    I know an SEE just like that, and same with your hedonism remarks as well
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    i'm trying to figure out what you could possibly be complaining about. she sounds very SF at least.
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    There are a lot of things in the description that could be true of unhealthy people of any type. Off hand she sounds ESFp, but all psycho girls do.
    SEE-Se, 852 sx/so

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    you make her sound caregivery, honestly.
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    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    you make her sound caregivery, honestly.
    part of the caregiver style has to do with being an control freak.

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    Quote Originally Posted by niffweed17
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    you make her sound caregivery, honestly.
    part of the caregiver style has to do with being an control freak.
    are you saying that sarcastically? because my ESFj mom comes off as a gigantic fucking control freak IMO.
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    She would really take care of me a lot such as cleaning/cooking/laundry which I liked a lot. But for some reason she did it in a way that didn't really fulfill my needs...its hard to explain.

    She likes taking care of other people too. If she went out with her friends she would always be the sober one making sure everyone else wasn't throwing up on themselves.

    We fought a lot because I was trying to get away from her and have some time for myself. She would always be chasing me and coming up with reasons why I had to go see her. Although our opposing abilities seemed to complement each other well, it just didn't work. Something was off.
    Oh shizam - I didn't see that.
    That makes me think more ESFj, obviously.

    Can't tell for sure, but ESF- so far it seems.
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    no, there are certainly elements of needing control in Se. that is not to say that an ESFj control freak is impossible by any stretch; it would simply manifest itself differently.

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    Quote Originally Posted by UDP
    She would really take care of me a lot such as cleaning/cooking/laundry which I liked a lot. But for some reason she did it in a way that didn't really fulfill my needs...its hard to explain.

    She likes taking care of other people too. If she went out with her friends she would always be the sober one making sure everyone else wasn't throwing up on themselves.

    We fought a lot because I was trying to get away from her and have some time for myself. She would always be chasing me and coming up with reasons why I had to go see her. Although our opposing abilities seemed to complement each other well, it just didn't work. Something was off.
    Oh shizam - I didn't see that.
    That makes me think more ESFj, obviously.

    Can't tell for sure, but ESF- so far it seems.
    this is what i was taking about in terms of Se control freak; this is mostly consistent with how i see SEEs in comparison to Si ESEs, who will usually act more democratically, modestly, and with more attention to what the other person needs.

    i definitely say SEE.

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    Quote Originally Posted by niffweed17
    no, there are certainly elements of needing control in Se. that is not to say that an ESFj control freak is impossible by any stretch; it would simply manifest itself differently.

    like not giving one's partner sufficient breathing space/privacy? /: i don't know about ESFp entirely.
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    ISFp perhaps?
    INTp
    sx/sp

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    what i would say is that they both can be control freaks in very different ways. what i will say is that my ESFj grandmother, who usually senses my disinterest in her general affairs, will make suggestions which have obvious intentions which she's unwilling to force on me.

    for example, "you know, your father said he would like you to cut your hair." a perfect example of an issue i couldn't care less about, taking a statement thoroughly out of context (i didn't hear the quote, but i am certain that what was said was something more along the lines of "his hair is way too long; it would probably be better for him to cut it."

    it is obvious that she, in this case, has adopted the attitude that i should cut my hair. she will be a control freak in the sense that she will not stop badgering me about the issue until i cut it, but she will maintain a democratic yet pushy stance.

    an ESFp, as an aggressor, would look at the state of my head, tell me how ridiculous it looks, and force the issue by making me cut it quickly.

    basically the difference here is that both types are motivated to get similar things done, they just differ in their implementations.

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    pezzonovante's Avatar
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    She wasn't really that much of a control freak. I'm the kind of person, when told what to do, will do the exact opposite because I hate being controlled. I always have had a lot of problems with authority because of that.

    She would just whine a lot and give me guilt trips. Which kind of worked. She was pretty good at making me feel like an asshole. The thing is, I kinda enjoy being an asshole sometimes. Hence the instability in our relationship.
    ENTj




    "A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it..."

    "All men dream, but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds, wake in the day to find that it was vanity: but the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make them possible."
    - Thomas E Lawrence

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    Quote Originally Posted by pezzonovante
    She would just whine a lot and give me guilt trips. Which kind of worked. She was pretty good at making me feel like an asshole. The thing is, I kinda enjoy being an asshole sometimes. Hence the instability in our relationship.
    that definitely sounds ESFp.

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    Quote Originally Posted by pezzonovante
    She wasn't really that much of a control freak. I'm the kind of person, when told what to do, will do the exact opposite because I hate being controlled. I always have had a lot of problems with authority because of that.

    She would just whine a lot and give me guilt trips. Which kind of worked. She was pretty good at making me feel like an asshole. The thing is, I kinda enjoy being an asshole sometimes. Hence the instability in our relationship.
    Was she using ?
    ESFps only made me feel incompetent at times when they hit my polr, not like an asshole. But that's me and not you. ESFjs... hmm... probably would take a more ethical approach.


    Don't really know what she is. Do you think she would do better with an INTj or an INTp - what seems more dualistic for her?

    Do you think she used as a leading function?
    Or ?
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    No, she does not sound ESFp. ESFps are not that clingy and they want to be worshipped rather than whorship. They are not dependent. Also, she does not sound like an EP.

    She looks like an introvert. How about ISFp? From your description, would make sense.

    And PoLR and role would clash with your preferred functions, which could account for the different interests and difficulties in having productive conversations about them.

    Just a thought. But I am pretty sure she is not ESFp. I don't see or in your description, but there is lots of and .

    PS: I doubt ISFj also.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    She looks like an introvert..
    !!!!!?????

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    Quote Originally Posted by niffweed17
    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    She looks like an introvert..
    !!!!!?????
    But she does. The other girl in the first picture looks extroverted, and so does
    pezzonovante. I think she has the restrained but friendly introvert look. Just my impression.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    No, she does not sound ESFp. ESFps are not that clingy and they want to be worshipped rather than whorship. They are not dependent. Also, she does not sound like an EP.

    yeah, i was thinking she sounds very people-pleasery?

    basically i agree w/ you, kim.

    finding some criteria: if i had to fit her in some category based on what has been said, i would be more inclined to say alpha. i thought maybe using this, for example, i would want to say ESFj . but i don't know about her being a rational.

    anyhow, this:

    We fought a lot because I was trying to get away from her and have some time for myself. She would always be chasing me and coming up with reasons why I had to go see her.
    sounds like the sort of stuff that causes rifts between my parents all the time. he wants to go out with friends or says he wants to be alone, she starts getting upset. (i think my parents are ESFj/ENTj.)

    yeah, i hate to sound critical, too, but she sounds too "sweet" (i can't think of a better word to use here) and not critical enough (or independent enough) to be either ISFj or ESFp.


    ISFp maybe could work best. i'll stick with that until i get some evidence of hardcore .
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    No, she does not sound ESFp. ESFps are not that clingy and they want to be worshipped rather than whorship. They are not dependent. Also, she does not sound like an EP.

    She looks like an introvert. How about ISFp? From your description, would make sense.

    And PoLR and role would clash with your preferred functions, which could account for the different interests and difficulties in having productive conversations about them.

    Just a thought. But I am pretty sure she is not ESFp. I don't see or in your description, but there is lots of and .

    PS: I doubt ISFj also.
    Finally someone else who thinks ISFp. Lol?
    She looks introverted to me too. She looks And the description seemed to show more rather than
    INTp
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    Oh, I hadn't seen your post! Yes, she definitely sounds > .
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    Oh, I hadn't seen your post! Yes, she definitely sounds > .
    When I first read her descriptions, I also thought that she is an ISFp on first impression. And she V.I.s as one as well, especially her smile.

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    Definitely an ISFj-Se; she even looks like an ISFj-Se I used to have a crush on...as a kid! Try reading the description of an Ixxj at the gamma-Se point that smilingeyes posted a while ago. It's something like "Doing everything to maintain power, but losing sight of the long-term consequences of the actions".

    I don't know why things like Fe>Fi are thrown...If somebody is unhealthy, is unhealhty, whatever his her preference is.

    Even the body-type is perfect match with the one of ISFjs, but not with the one of ISFps.
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    Hmmm interesting replies everyone.

    Here is some more information:

    She cares a lot about stuff being clean, but can sometimes be lazy about actually cleaning it. But once she goes on a windexing frenzy she seemed to get a lot of pleasure out of it.

    She always liked to plan things out and stick to the plan. Seems kinda like an un-ISFPish to me. I always learn one crucial thing from every person I date and that's what I learned from her - how great planning is.

    She is a good dresser, and has a slightly dressy well matched style that I really liked.

    She would always say stuff like..."I'm so good to you, why can't you do the same for me... blah blah". Although she was pretty good to me, she would tend to blow it out of proportion and make it seem like she was the best girlfriend ever. It was weird. Although she wasn't really the cocky type she would always say stuff to me trying to make herself look better in my eyes.

    She knew a shitload of people, but never really called them unless she needed a favor from them.

    ISFP does make sense in some ways because when I think about it she does have a lot of traits. However I don't really think any of the ISFP profiles I've ever read really fit her. Not that I've really read about ISFps all that much, does anyone have some good profiles/descriptions?

    Also she doesn't really seem to have the alpha vibe. She doesn't have that lighthearted playful nature. She has a sad streak that seems kinda beta/gamma imo.
    ENTj




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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    I don't know why things like Fe>Fi are thrown...If somebody is unhealthy, is unhealhty, whatever his her preference is.
    Well, if we want to say that it is impossible to determine the function preferences of unhealthy people, we might as well not type anyone who appears unhealthy.

    And I don't think she looks ISFj. ISFjs, I think, have a "stricter," more serious expression. They don't usually look "cutesy."

    I disagree with the statement that ISFjs want power. They want control, but that is because they cannot handle uncertainty (Ne PoLR). They don't want to dominate people, they just want to make their own lives as predictable as possible.

    Body type is no indicator for type, IMHO.

    She would always say stuff like..."I'm so good to you, why can't you do the same for me... blah blah". Although she was pretty good to me, she would tend to blow it out of proportion and make it seem like she was the best girlfriend ever. It was weird. Although she wasn't really the cocky type she would always say stuff to me trying to make herself look better in my eyes.
    I don't know what to make of this. It sounds like she could just be terribly insecure. I do see Se here. Perhaps she was afraid of losing you?

    She cares a lot about stuff being clean, but can sometimes be lazy about actually cleaning it. But once she goes on a windexing frenzy she seemed to get a lot of pleasure out of it.
    I am the same way, hehe. So is my ISFj sister. I don't know about ISFps...

    She always liked to plan things out and stick to the plan. Seems kinda like an un-ISFPish to me. I always learn one crucial thing from every person I date and that's what I learned from her - how great planning is.
    This does sound ISFj. It does not sound ESFp and probably not ISFp.

    She knew a shitload of people, but never really called them unless she needed a favor from them.
    This does not sound like an Fi type.



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    I dunno.. This description does sound like my ISFp friend. That sad streak. Umm. But he has that playful nature. Yet he can be really emotional & negative, always telling me about how bad things are in his life.
    He's a good dresser too!
    Although he's an introvert, he has many friends.
    He loves to club, but would only club with people he knows he can have fun with. He doesn't really call the rest unless he needs them.
    He likes things neat, but is lazy to clear up.

    Anyway,
    She would always say stuff like..."I'm so good to you, why can't you do the same for me... blah blah". Although she was pretty good to me, she would tend to blow it out of proportion and make it seem like she was the best girlfriend ever. It was weird. Although she wasn't really the cocky type she would always say stuff to me trying to make herself look better in my eyes.
    this does sound Se.

    She always liked to plan things out and stick to the plan. Seems kinda like an un-ISFPish to me. I always learn one crucial thing from every person I date and that's what I learned from her - how great planning is.
    Sounds like a rational temperament.

    Umm. Not sure about what FDG said though. I haven't read the ISFj-Se description. Hmm.
    Well, maybe an unhealthy ISFj like he said? There's a possibility.
    INTp
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    And I don't think she looks ISFj. ISFjs, I think, have a "stricter," more serious expression. They don't usually look "cutesy."
    agreed. "looks like a thinker, cold-blooded" seems like the usual description of them.


    body type match, even if that can be seriously shitty criteria since the assumption is that ISFps are chubby. she can still be ESFj by this criteria. slim figured like ISFjs can be.


    the cleaning thing sounds more ISFj than anything, so far. my mom is more like constantly cleaning and "on the go" (in a way, and an EJ temperament sort of way) to the detriment of other tasks that are way more important. they always say that ISFjs "don't clean often, but when they clean up, they clean up well." so i guess they get it done in full swoops.

    she could be ISFj-Se.


    think of it this way, in terms of romantic partnership, was her sweet, caregiving nature something you liked? or was it her independent and critical nature (with a core?)
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    While reading this it reminded me a lot of my old ISFp best friend, and an ESFj friend.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    I don't know why things like Fe>Fi are thrown...If somebody is unhealthy, is unhealhty, whatever his her preference is.
    Well, if we want to say that it is impossible to determine the function preferences of unhealthy people, we might as well not type anyone who appears unhealthy.

    And I don't think she looks ISFj. ISFjs, I think, have a "stricter," more serious expression. They don't usually look "cutesy."

    I disagree with the statement that ISFjs want power. They want control, but that is because they cannot handle uncertainty (Ne PoLR). They don't want to dominate people, they just want to make their own lives as predictable as possible.

    Body type is no indicator for type, IMHO.
    1)She is barely smiling in the pics! In the last one, she's almost serious.
    2)Mantaining power is different that wanting power. I can find you that description and you can argue with that; hell, actually, there are a shitload of type descriptoins of Se-ISFj that are like that; confirmed by most of my experiences, honestly. And if making life predictable means making other lives predictable, then it means control, of course, since the result is the same
    3)We have to agree to disagree then.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    I am inclined to go for Alpha SF.

    First, I agree with Kim's observations:

    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    Well, if we want to say that it is impossible to determine the function preferences of unhealthy people, we might as well not type anyone who appears unhealthy.

    And I don't think she looks ISFj. ISFjs, I think, have a "stricter," more serious expression. They don't usually look "cutesy."

    I disagree with the statement that ISFjs want power. They want control, but that is because they cannot handle uncertainty (Ne PoLR). They don't want to dominate people, they just want to make their own lives as predictable as possible.

    Body type is no indicator for type, IMHO.
    Yeah I don't put that much weight on body type either, except to say that it's unlikely that IJs are obese (and I have known at least one fat - not obese - ISTj).

    I also agree about the unhealthy thing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    She always liked to plan things out and stick to the plan. Seems kinda like an un-ISFPish to me. I always learn one crucial thing from every person I date and that's what I learned from her - how great planning is.
    This does sound ISFj. It does not sound ESFp and probably not ISFp.
    At first sight, that would indeed speak against ISFp. However, I know of other cases of clear ISFps who also seemed to like planning in terms of their daily schedule - or, less than planning, it was about having a routine. It does seem contradictory, but they were all very irrational in ther moods, and they also changed their plans at the last moment on occasion, but they did prefer to have a plan when doing something. Perhaps it's the Process dichotomy. I can only say that I have seen other cases where people would say, "the person is definitely J" when all the other traits pointed to accepting Si and creative Fe.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kim
    She knew a shitload of people, but never really called them unless she needed a favor from them.
    This does not sound like an Fi type.
    Well this is difficult to interpret. A Fi introvert or an irrational Fi might make this impression (without it being true).

    Quote Originally Posted by pezzonovante
    But one day we end up fooling around and after that she's real aggressive about us having a relationship. Usually I'm real chill about that kinda shit...more like whatever happens happens. So because of that I was thinking about the whole victim/aggressor thing.
    It's not necessarily Aggressive. It does suggest that she doesn't have Se PoLR, but it sounds simply as a girl going into strong rebound behavior after a break-up. People do act a bit odd in such situations, especially as you say that she's never without a bf. She seems to be in a sort of "I must have a boyfriend" mindset, hence her "aggressiveness".



    Quote Originally Posted by pezzonovante
    First of all she's really emotional. She would have crazy mood swings, which seems to be common in the girls that I date. She was also really dependent on me for everything and would even want me to make all her decisions for her.

    She was a huge daddy's girl and after their relationship soured she's had a boyfriend constantly. She was really really clingy which drove me nuts.

    She kinda had an obsession with little kid things, and would talk to me like one a lot of the time.
    This is all a bit confusing, but one thing is clear to me -- to talk like a little kid a lot of the time is very non-Se ego.


    Quote Originally Posted by pezzonovante
    She is really picky about what she likes, such as food. Absolutely refuses to eat/drink/whatever something she doesn't like. She has a hedonistic streak and really loves sex/food/liquor/weed.
    Well it's difficult to say much about any type from that.


    Quote Originally Posted by pezzonovante
    She is extremely observant and always knows exactly what is going on around her and where everything is. She is also really good at directions because she can photographically remember to turn at which tree, gas station, etc. to get to places.
    Ok; this confirms what everyone has thought so far -- she's almost certainly an SF type.

    Quote Originally Posted by pezzonovante
    In high school she was captain of the cheerleading squad and straight A student blah blah. But she had a lot of trouble in college comprehending more theoretical stuff. We could talk a lot but only about stupid stuff like gossip, our pasts, etc. I wasn't really able to talk to her about stuff I'm really interested in like psychology, business, etc.
    I'd be inclined to say this points towards ISFp or ESFj and away from Gamma SF.


    Quote Originally Posted by pezzonovante
    She's a really good dancer and loved going clubbing. But other than clubbing she seems to enjoy more introverted activities like just watching movies at home. She's the type of girl that kinda stops hanging out with her friends when she gets a boyfriend and tries to spend all her time with him. However she has really good social skills and makes friends very easily. She had a really graceful walk.
    It points towards ISFp, but it's not decisive.

    Quote Originally Posted by pezzonovante
    She would really take care of me a lot such as cleaning/cooking/laundry which I liked a lot. But for some reason she did it in a way that didn't really fulfill my needs...its hard to explain.
    This suggests a Si caregiver type.


    Quote Originally Posted by pezzonovante
    She likes taking care of other people too. If she went out with her friends she would always be the sober one making sure everyone else wasn't throwing up on themselves.
    This suggests a rational Si type, so ESFj.

    Quote Originally Posted by pezzonovante
    We fought a lot because I was trying to get away from her and have some time for myself. She would always be chasing me and coming up with reasons why I had to go see her. Although our opposing abilities seemed to complement each other well, it just didn't work. Something was off.
    It's insecurity and unhealthy, I hesitate to attribute this to type.



    Quote Originally Posted by pezzonovante
    She cares a lot about stuff being clean, but can sometimes be lazy about actually cleaning it. But once she goes on a windexing frenzy she seemed to get a lot of pleasure out of it.
    It depends on what you mean by "sometimes" -- an ESFj is more likely to worry about having everything always clean. If "sometimes" was the exception, ESFj; if the rule, more like ISFp.



    Quote Originally Posted by pezzonovante
    She would always say stuff like..."I'm so good to you, why can't you do the same for me... blah blah". Although she was pretty good to me, she would tend to blow it out of proportion and make it seem like she was the best girlfriend ever. It was weird. Although she wasn't really the cocky type she would always say stuff to me trying to make herself look better in my eyes.
    Sounds like immature ISFp behavior, trying to get you to use Fe to make her feel better. It's her assuming that you need her Fe to feel good just like she does, and then wondering why you're so "selfish".


    Quote Originally Posted by pezzonovante
    Also she doesn't really seem to have the alpha vibe. She doesn't have that lighthearted playful nature. She has a sad streak that seems kinda beta/gamma imo.
    You're wrong. ISFps do have a "sad streak". They feel almost physically bad when they feel in a negative Fe atmosphere; creative --> accepting . That's the origin of their mood swings.


    She's ISFp or ESFj.

    Either way, not a very mature or, yes, healthy one.

    To the doubters -- she does sound like a typical Enneagram 2, doesn't she?

    The Caring, Interpersonal Type:
    Generous, Demonstrative, People-Pleasing, and Possessive

    Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved
    Basic Desire: To feel loved

    Key Motivations: Want to be loved, to express their feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to them, to vindicate their claims about themselves.

    Level 5: Become overly intimate and intrusive: they need to be needed, so they hover, meddle, and control in the name of love. Want others to depend on them: give, but expect a return: send double messages. Enveloping and possessive: the codependent, self-sacrificial person who cannot do enough for others—wearing themselves out for everyone, creating needs for themselves to fulfill.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    enneagram 6, sx, disintegration to 3

    notice how his conflict with her is NOT centered on lack of Te values but on her lack of Ne

    that thing about going clubbing but then stopping doing anythign else when she has a boyfriend is actually a Fi telltale imho (in the second part of it)

    honestly except for the manipulation part, it doesn't exactly sound that they were not compatible, just that he was bored by her, and she didn't know what to do with him
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    notice how his conflict with her is NOT centered on lack of Te values but on her lack of Ne
    Hmm, what do you mean exactly?
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    notice how his conflict with her is NOT centered on lack of Te values but on her lack of Ne
    Hmm, what do you mean exactly?
    Here, I perceived it to be actually possibly one of the most problematic areas of the relationship:

    But she had a lot of trouble in college comprehending more theoretical stuff. We could talk a lot but only about stupid stuff like gossip, our pasts, etc. I wasn't really able to talk to her about stuff I'm really interested in like psychology, business, etc.
    The first part is not important. The second is what I mean to be a telltale of a Ne PoLR, in the sense, that if it is present then it's likely that there is Ne PoLR, but a Ne PoLR does not imply its presence. An alpha quadra memeber having as (taking the mottos as being true) motto "To reflect and to delight in it" is usually more receptive to this kind of stuff, IME.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    with my ISFj teacher:

    Who constantly emphasized the responsibility that we needed to survive in high school, and once scolded me for asking another teacher a question without beginning with "Excuse me, Mr ---". She added that I was to wait until there was pause in the conversation. I have been very conscious about my manners ever since, and can wait for minutes until I muster the courage to interrupt a conversation.
    “I think, therefore I'll think" - Ayn Rand (ESTp, UR GUARDIAN ANGEL)

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    Quote Originally Posted by raisonpure
    Compare
    Who constantly emphasized the responsibility that we needed to survive in high school, and once scolded me for asking another teacher a question without beginning with "Excuse me, Mr ---". She added that I was to wait until there was pause in the conversation. I have been very conscious about my manners ever since, and can wait for minutes until I muster the courage to interrupt a conversation.
    How old is your teacher? Mid-tirthies?

    Anyway, I think she was broadly right, but that is a clear example of an action that produces, on the long term, consequences that are against the original purpose, since you are going to be more likely to be interrupted by being so conscious. Sorry for the useless divertion.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    How old is your teacher? Mid-tirthies?
    She's probably over forty now, but she looked as vigorous and gorgeous as ever when I saw her a few years after graduation.

    By the way, would you be able to remove the pictures from your quote? They take up a lot of space
    “I think, therefore I'll think" - Ayn Rand (ESTp, UR GUARDIAN ANGEL)

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    Quote Originally Posted by raisonpure
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    How old is your teacher? Mid-tirthies?
    She's probably over forty now, but she looked as vigorous and gorgeous as ever when I saw her a few years after graduation.
    My question is: how do you know if her behaviour was actually different during her late teens and early 20s?
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by raisonpure
    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    How old is your teacher? Mid-tirthies?
    She's probably over forty now, but she looked as vigorous and gorgeous as ever when I saw her a few years after graduation.
    My question is: how do you know if her behaviour was actually different during her late teens and early 20s?
    I have no way of knowing what her behaviour was like when she was young. I can only assume that the ideals she preached -- her mission statement -- are not that different from her present ones, based on how they do not change after 3 years. If they were, her values would have been fundamentally different -- perhaps even reflecting that of another quadra, and that would make her into a different type.
    “I think, therefore I'll think" - Ayn Rand (ESTp, UR GUARDIAN ANGEL)

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