IEI-LSE Conflict Relations (INFp and ESTj)

[redbaron]

Ahhhh.

What lead you to that conjecture, redbaron?

He's clearly Si ego but I realized how his emotionality was almost always negative. So while he seemed very emotional, it was more because he was unhealthy. My current typing of him is LSE-Si 6w5 sp/so. Ni polr is evident. He's a fearful person, scared of the future and needs to/tries to control everything so that he's not surprised. I also realized how my "managing" the mood never worked with him. It was like he was determined to not be swayed by Fe. I don't know how I missed that before but now it seems clear.

[Ningyo]

Definitely sounds like LSE, redbaron. I've had some as bosses who I became close to, but it was like we were always clashing when we couldn't take care of each other in our accustomed ways.

[blackburry]

He's clearly Si ego but I realized how his emotionality was almost always negative. So while he seemed very emotional, it was more because he was unhealthy. My current typing of him is LSE-Si 6w5 sp/so. Ni polr is evident. He's a fearful person, scared of the future and needs to/tries to control everything so that he's not surprised. I also realized how my "managing" the mood never worked with him. It was like he was determined to not be swayed by Fe. I don't know how I missed that before but now it seems clear.

You seem like such a fun person...your husband....doesn't.
He kind of sounds like my ESE mom..but she's very quirky, friendly, although overly negative at times..and very often fearful/anxious about something and overreacts all.the.time. but then again she could be EIE...

[Creepy-]

[QUOTE=ThePeddler;202616]I haven't seen this one actually played out in real-life, but i have thoughts on it.

Leading versus Vulnerable : The ESTj wants the INFp to be more active, get more work done, and will criticise the INFp unless it's doing something useful.

Leading versus Vulnerable : The INFp is confident in putting off things until it's the right time, which upsets the ESTj who feels that now is the only time. INFp also seems eclectic and just plain weird to the ESTj, because of it's well-developed different beliefs and willingness to be what ESTj's consider laziness.

Role versus Creative : ESTj's are able to do actions now, and criticise the INFp who worries about what it is able to do now.

Role versus Creative : INFp wants a more emotionally drenched atmosphere and gets annoyed at the ESTj's dry attempt to create it. ESTj is annoyed by the INFp's tendency to focus on the Atmosphere rather the work that needs to be done, or the information that needs to be transmitted.

The only way it works (and then it works really really well) is to argue once in a while. (Calm arguments are great, but difficult because that's only happening by email and he doesn't like that because I can trounce him in type, but not in heated discussion).

[Kalinoche buenanoche]

i've noticed that she does not post anymore.maybe he did something to her.we should send a spy.

[Iris]

Woah, old ass thread.

I think redbaron was married to an ESTj for a long time. She'd be a good person to ask.

I was enjoying reading this thread and marked something as being constructive. Then I noticed it was a six-year-old post. And where did Red Baron go? I hope she is ok. Reading her posts back in my lurker days helped me understand IEIs better.

[wacey]

I was enjoying reading this thread and marked something as being constructive. Then I noticed it was a six-year-old post. And where did Red Baron go? I hope she is ok. Reading her posts back in my lurker days helped me understand IEIs better.

Hey Iris, I have noticed all the really juicy posts and threads are from a long time ago.As per the conflictors, I think this pairing would leave both types feeling extremely judged improperly by the other over and over and over again (lots of super-ego hits- which are felt very painfully by the individual). I think any combination of people can form a relationship and make it work but for how long and at what quality? When at a fundemental level of personality, where all efforts to get along and be loving and understanding fail because each personality is seeking, desiring, wanting something else from their loved one that they can never get (the I'd), it will, ime, take tremendous will power for love (at the personality level) to survive. The IEI will be dissapointed in the LSE just as much as the LSE will be dissapointed with the IEI, maybe just a little at first, but ime tiny differences are magnified a gizzilion times when in a relationship. I think this pairing would involve great sacrifices on behalf of both people even if they both really want it to work out. Life is so sacred, and to spend ones time with an incompatible mate, albiet one you love and cherish, after years of deep deep unsolvable misunderstandings (because of personality differences irregardless on wether or not one believes in sociotypes) will leave one feeling exhausted and empty. Who would want to feel that way? Our personalities should be validated and loved warts and all if they are healthy.

[Iris]

Hey Iris, I have noticed all the really juicy posts and threads are from a long time ago.As per the conflictors, I think this pairing would leave both types feeling extremely judged improperly by the other over and over and over again (lots of super-ego hits- which are felt very painfully by the individual). I think any combination of people can form a relationship and make it work but for how long and at what quality? When at a fundemental level of personality, where all efforts to get along and be loving and understanding fail because each personality is seeking, desiring, wanting something else from their loved one that they can never get (the I'd), it will, ime, take tremendous will power for love (at the personality level) to survive. The IEI will be dissapointed in the LSE just as much as the LSE will be dissapointed with the IEI, maybe just a little at first, but ime tiny differences are magnified a gizzilion times when in a relationship. I think this pairing would involve great sacrifices on behalf of both people even if they both really want it to work out. Life is so sacred, and to spend ones time with an incompatible mate, albiet one you love and cherish, after years of deep deep unsolvable misunderstandings (because of personality differences irregardless on wether or not one believes in sociotypes) will leave one feeling exhausted and empty. Who would want to feel that way? Our personalities should be validated and loved warts and all if they are healthy.

I dont know what it would be like to live with a conflictor. But I do know what it is like to love someone from a conflicting quadra. The love exists separately from life's cares. Love is underneath everything. It heals. Ease of communication is important. But if you find great love, it is worth more.

[wacey]

I think that love heals, and it is underneath everything, I totally agree with you. I think much more of what we do, even our supposed negatives are because of love. Why else stay in relationships of choice if not for love (not including family)?Untill its time to visit the family in-laws. Or you move in together. Or you start to plan for the future. Or you share the house mortgage. Or you pay your shared bills. Or you hangout with each others friends. Or you make any sort of life together. Or you raise kids like you said. For how long can the IEI suppress her Ni because ambiguity big time annoys her husband? Or the LSE bite his tongue because his Te bores his wife? Now compound that by years of time spent together?All types can love eachother. But for how long? Love is unconditional yes, but personalities have conditions. Personalities want something, that's their role. Doesnlt matter if love is there, because the personality is powerfull, its needs will want to be satisfied, eventually. I am speaking from experience here. I grew up with family members of an opposing quadra, and even now we all agree that we clash because of personality differences. Doesnlt mean we do not love each other, because we do. We can even appreciate each others differences and admiring eachothers strengths. But as an adult, I can choose who I form relationships with, why not choose what feels good? Does a conflictor relationship really feel good, I mean over the long term?

[wacey]

^I am only asking these questions for the sake of discussionN they are not directed at anyone in particular. I can only speak from my own thoughts and experiences and in no way mean to impune on the experiences of others, which maybe vastly different. I think of opposing quadras as sort of like plants. A beta tropical fern is very much at home in the warm and wet climate of the tropics. If it was left outside, even in summer time in the temperate climate of the northern latitudes it would quickly wither and die. The northern latitudesare a perfect home of the opposing deltas, who can handle the climate. Take a northen plant, let's say a cedar tree and plant it in the tropics, it would live for a little bit, but eventually it too would wither and die. They are both plants, but they have different needs and preferences. In the same way, personalities have differing needs and requirements. I am not saying never travel to a different climate, or quadra, I am saying for how long in your heart of hearts can you really stay planted there? And why would you want to? Is love really enough? And when is it not enough?

[Beautiful sky]

[QUOTE=Trouble;937690]

I haven't seen this one actually played out in real-life, but i have thoughts on it.

Leading versus Vulnerable : The ESTj wants the INFp to be more active, get more work done, and will criticise the INFp unless it's doing something useful.

Leading versus Vulnerable : The INFp is confident in putting off things until it's the right time, which upsets the ESTj who feels that now is the only time. INFp also seems eclectic and just plain weird to the ESTj, because of it's well-developed different beliefs and willingness to be what ESTj's consider laziness.

Role versus Creative : ESTj's are able to do actions now, and criticise the INFp who worries about what it is able to do now.

Role versus Creative : INFp wants a more emotionally drenched atmosphere and gets annoyed at the ESTj's dry attempt to create it. ESTj is annoyed by the INFp's tendency to focus on the Atmosphere rather the work that needs to be done, or the information that needs to be transmitted.

The only way it works (and then it works really really well) is to argue once in a while. (Calm arguments are great, but difficult because that's only happening by email and he doesn't like that because I can trounce him in type, but not in heated discussion).

You sound very very familiar

[Iris]

I think of opposing quadras as sort of like plants. A beta tropical fern is very much at home in the warm and wet climate of the tropics. If it was left outside, even in summer time in the temperate climate of the northern latitudes it would quickly wither and die. The northern latitudesare a perfect home of the opposing deltas, who can handle the climate. Take a northen plant, let's say a cedar tree and plant it in the tropics, it would live for a little bit, but eventually it too would wither and die. They are both plants, but they have different needs and preferences. In the same way, personalities have differing needs and requirements. I am not saying never travel to a different climate, or quadra, I am saying for how long in your heart of hearts can you really stay planted there? And why would you want to? Is love really enough? And when is it not enough?

@Wacey I agree that your own quadra might be the best place to flouish. I have been surrounded by people from my opposing quadra all of my life. At times it has made me feel freakishly different and inferior. And like I have this adult veneer that I put on over a heart that won't grow up. The result has been that I tend to work alone, and not with my friends. I recently came to know someone who I believe is my dual. It is a type of person that I would never have noticed if he hadn't been thrown into my world, but we have great conversations, we get work done easily, and he is inspired, not annoyed by my ideas. That is great, and I enjoy the occasions that we are together. But I do not need him to make my life complete. I have to go right now but have a few additional thoughts that I will try to post later.

[wacey]

@Iris, Oh?You said something earlier about ease of communication. You said it was not as important then love. I would respectfully disagree, ease of communication makes a relationship so much easier and fullfilling. And being able to share that ease with a personality who is vastly different and yet complimentary to your own is a real joy, trust me. I am no saint or zen master that walk around spouting universal love for everyone and every personality.my whole life I had been forced to live with people I would never choose to. And although I had grown to love them, finding that ease of communication is something else. Its like oil in the machine, things just run smoother. This thread is about a conflictor pairing though. All intertypes are equal in my mind, conflictors are no different from duals in that love can still exsist. It just that in a conflictor relationship that love is going to be harder to see and feel because of uncompatible and repeling personality types. This means it is going to take a lot more work, and in my view, unless the individual is looking for spiritual growth, why torture yourself by sharing a life with a person who cannot understand who you are nor fullfill the basic psycological needs of your personalities heart?

[Iris]

@Iris, Oh?You said something earlier about ease of communication. You said it was not as important then love. I would respectfully disagree, ease of communication makes a relationship so much easier and fullfilling. And being able to share that ease with a personality who is vastly different and yet complimentary to your own is a real joy, trust me. I am no saint or zen master that walk around spouting universal love for everyone and every personality.my whole life I had been forced to live with people I would never choose to. And although I had grown to love them, finding that ease of communication is something else. Its like oil in the machine, things just run smoother. This thread is about a conflictor pairing though. All intertypes are equal in my mind, conflictors are no different from duals in that love can still exsist. It just that in a conflictor relationship that love is going to be harder to see and feel because of uncompatible and repeling personality types. This means it is going to take a lot more work, and in my view, unless the individual is looking for spiritual growth, why torture yourself by sharing a life with a person who cannot understand who you are nor fullfill the basic psycological needs of your personalities heart?

My original post in this thread was to make a comment about IEIs. I can't really offer insight into the IEI/LSE relationship, just thoughts about conflicting quadras. My own experience with my conflictor and my views on love probably belong in another thread - I will probsbly start one in a few days, as time allows. It has been interesting hearing your thoughts, and I will look forward to continuing the discussion.

[Beautiful sky]

People keep saying, "any relationship can work as long as you're attracted to one another and that you can talk to each other." My parents are ISFJ and INTp and they've been married for 35 years; they've had a good sex life, they've always been attracted to one another and they argue talk all the time; they've been able to make a relationship last because they have an extension of relationships outside their marriage; they have us, our extended family, they have dual pairs and dual support constantly on the outside. It's been a marriage, a relationship; at no point can I confidently say that it's been whole. Like two parts drifting and when colliding, they become resentful, angry, frustrated, in able to fit.

[betterthan]

It's shit.

Here is my experience, and it's heavy;

My MUM is my conflictor lol, yay. Our advice just bounces off each other. I remember one time, she was driving me home, and a sign said 'road closed ahead' and she thought 'it would probably be open, so let's go see' and I was like 'no mum...I don't think IT IS!' and she carried on driving and it wasn't open. That sounds really mundane, but little things like that just really piss me off - on two levels - one, she ISN'T listening to me on advice she *clearly* needs (which will stop her from doing inane shit - and it's fucking infuriating when she does it, completely disregarding my advice - if she listened, that stuff wouldn't happen, like we wouldn't have had to waste ten minutes driving to a road that is signposted as closed LOL), 2 - she's really devaluing, and it's insulting - I feel unvalued, and criticized and that makes me furious.

Secondly I don't think she's healthy at all. My EIE sister is a crack head, soulless and without much of a future because she's too lazy to do any kind of work for it. My mum ALWAYS makes a million excuses for her, and can't connect the dots, that my sister is like that because of HER. And that she is rude and lifeless because she feels unloved and without anyone (my mum can't even accept that - that my sister is possibly without real friends, because somehow that makes her a failure as a parent) - they can't give her what she needs if they don't accept what is, I tell them what is but it just bounces off them, and they are stuck in this unhealthy mess because nothing changes because they can't take responsibility for the shitty people they are and their bad parenting. And I'm always out to make it right, and to uncover the truth of the bullshit situation - upheld my SEI sister, who the world revolves around, that their behavior and everything is fucking fine, when it's not fucking fine and saying it's fine and not taking responsibility for yourself is continuing to damn everyone in the family. Your Ni insight is not welcome, when these people NEED it.

Her Te is NOT welcome. When she starts suggesting things, it's so dull and angering. And I revolt by becoming lifeless, slowing right down to never do what she asks. My SLE boyfriend sometimes tries to order me and I do the same, I just slow right down, never doing what they tell me to do. Funnily enough my LSE mum LOVES my boyfriend, because she thinks someone is bringing some control and order to my mess of a life (i'm the family scapegoat, which now makes me laugh the extent to which she ignores the massive problem of my sister). She always puts me down in snide ways when we are around others, which i'm only just realizing is pathetic rather than something to feel bad about myself for. She thinks my life needs a Te rework. Well my life turns out to be fine when she's not fucking in it - i'm full of love and passion and I SUCCEED in life, and I think she resents that because it proves her wrong, she was wrong about me, and she couldn't save me, she seems aware that my success highlights the flaws in her - we were battling it out always, successes is the only way you ever win. Living with her is what contributed to me being lifeless, lazy and sad.

I tried to make the situation 'okay' by bringing kindness and understanding. I've tried that for a long time. But it's just not worth it because I am never accepted no matter how much I try to heal the situation. I used to be so angry and argumentative when I was a kid, I thought I was the problem, I grew up and developed so much compassion and kindness for people, and I thought I could make it better, but you can't rearrange everything in you, or anything in you so that it's okay - it never will be. I feel like for most of my life I've seen myself through her eyes, which is really painful. Like I was defective or not good enough, I spent so long being angry and closed off and frightened that I was bad. It's weird. Because I know there is always this level of respect or admiration there, between us, somehow it makes it so much harder. Like she tells me how much she respects my passion and relates to it, and how i'm beautiful and that she's proud . And it makes it harder. Because I think if I could just be a little 'right' then...

so it's terrible. & i'm not even gonna leave some defensive comment preempting someone ripping into me because I own my feelings in this situation now, i'm not ashamed of it or what it might mean. i know it doesn't mean anything, it was just some shitty relationship that was unfairly formed.

[Iris]

I see IEIs keeping quiet about things that are important to them, due to their natural diplomacy, and it makes me sad to see their efforts being overlooked when they do feel passionate enough about something to speak out. IEIs are wonderful and gentle people. Find someone to nurture you and never let the way you have been treated as a child intrude into your future. Try to leave it behind, because any bitterness will only hold you back from blossoming into the future. The future, and the good you are equipped to do, is everything.

[Absurd]

I remember one time, she was driving me home, and a sign said 'road closed ahead' and she thought 'it would probably be open, so let's go see'

She 'thought'.

Get her to a zoo crocodile section where the sign says 'danger crocodiles - no swimming', let her take her clothes off and swim. When the crocodiles are going to end the meal inquire about what was she 'thinking' when she did that. But I agree, it never hurts to check, so your mum isn't totally at fault there, one might argue the sign is at fault.

Better yet, trade yourself for an EII and all problems are going to disappear - best advice ever.

[Scapegrace]

People keep saying, "any relationship can work as long as you're attracted to one another and that you can talk to each other." My parents are ISTp and INTp and they've been married for 35 years; they've had a good sex life, they've always been attracted to one another and they argue talk all the time; they've been able to make a relationship last because they have an extension of relationships outside their marriage; they have us, our extended family, they have dual pairs and dual support constantly on the outside. It's been a marriage, a relationship; at no point can I confidently say that it's been whole. Like two parts drifting and when colliding, they become resentful, angry, frustrated, in able to fit.

And yet it's "working" for them and your relationship of "duality" lasted what? A month and a half?

[Absurd]

And yet it's "working" for them and your relationship of "duality" lasted what? A month and a half?

I think there was a lot of sign reading involved.

[betterthan]

I see IEIs keeping quiet about things that are important to them, due to their natural diplomacy, and it makes me sad to see their efforts being overlooked when they do feel passionate enough about something to speak out. IEIs are wonderful and gentle people. Find someone to nurture you and never let the way you have been treated as a child intrude into your future. Try to leave it behind, because any bitterness will only hold you back from blossoming into the future. The future, and the good you are equipped to do, is everything.

That was beautiful, thank you ^_^.

[betterthan]

She 'thought'.

Get her to a zoo crocodile section where the sign says 'danger crocodiles - no swimming', let her take her clothes off and swim. When the crocodiles are going to end the meal inquire about what was she 'thinking' when she did that. But I agree, it never hurts to check, so your mum isn't totally at fault there, one might argue the sign is at fault.

Better yet, trade yourself for an EII and all problems are going to disappear - best advice ever.

[Beautiful sky]

And yet it's "working" for them and your relationship of "duality" lasted what? A month and a half?

Duality does not account for external circumstances, like psychosis, sociopathic behaviors, abuse and in ability to model and follow good relationships examples, one's life experiences; it says, you are this type and his is this and if you open up and remain fully insync, it will work and there will be good communication.

[noid]

Me: Hey, if you have time/interest, read over this story that ISFp wrote. She mustered the effort to put all her funny genius into writing but as you'll see, it needs major editing. She asked me to do it, but I'm no expert! Plus, I've never-ever felt comfy editing other people's writings. Could you give it a looksy and let me know if there is anything that you'd change.

ESTj: WOW, interesting...hummmm... I'll give you a call and we'll talk about it.

OVER THE PHONE:

ESTj: OMG, what did you think about it????

Me: I enjoyed seeing animals through her eyes. I mean, who imagines such things!? The twist at the end had me laughing out loud.

ESTj: Really? Honestly, I couldn't get through it. All those pronouns! I couldn't tell who was who. It was so disconnected.

Me: Yeah, I know. She's aware of this, that's why she asked me to help edit. It didn't bother me, it's just technique she needs to work on. What did you think about the story?

ESTj: Uhmmm, that's another thing. It was kind of weird. A cat falling in love with a dog...and admiring it from afar...not being able to get together. It's weird no?

Me: Haha, it doesn't bother me.

ESTj: Hey, do you think it was inspired by her own life? You know, her being...gay?

Me: Yeah, the thought crossed my mind.

ESTj: Have you ever stopped and wonder if she...ever...had feelings for you? haha

Me: Haha, no.

ESTj: INFj gets really agitated by gay people. He says they complicate their lives. They complain about their lives yet they're the ones choosing the behaviors/lifestyle. If it's causing them so much trouble, why would they pursue it?

Me: Yeah, I dunno. I don't really know what she feels. What it's like for her.

ESTj: She doesn't talk to you about it?

Me: I don't feel comfortable asking about it.

ESTj: REALLY? I imagined you would.

Me: No, not with super personal things like that.

ESTj: But she's always been a good friend of yours.

Me: Yeah, but...she's very private about relationship stuff.

ESTj: But why don't you ask? She might want to talk about this stuff with someone.

Me: True.

ESTj: Are you comfortable talking about this?

Me: Not really, hahaha.

ESTj: I could tell.

Me: Yeah, I just feel like I'm gossiping. I dunno, she's my pal, you know?

ESTj: Yeah, I know. Just tell me whenever you don't want to talk about something. Seriously, just tell me. Okay? Please do me that favor.

Me: haha, okay.

INFj - ESTj
"Me" is mistyped like 90% of INFp here wanting to feel special

IRL ESTj & INFp are ok for the first second, then INFp don't get a fuck about what ESTj is speaking about when conversation begin, and ask always "why", when not being amused and/or deranged by all the commonplace ESTj is conveying.
INFp take ESTj for a mental idiot because he melt various information incoherent way and think it's absolute, while ESTj take INFp for a unconfident moron who can't assert his "philosophy" as absolute, Te way.



INFj - INFp :

http://personalitycafe.com/infp-foru...eal-world.html

Tuan is INFp, other are mainly INFj including myself (no_id)

In this conversation, there is only cool INFj, who stayed aware of Ni through time. So the conflict is not that apparent : perception is somewhat similar, Tuan more Ni than Fi, other more Fi than Ni. When tuan share conclusion on scientism or other stuff, INFj 1) don't understand 2) disagree. But perception is basically the same.
When INFj are asshole (not the case here), you know "idealism is for kid, I work hard, Ive a hard life, life is like that, Im proud ect ect ect", you can expect a high degree of incomprehension beetween IEI and EII.

[Beautiful sky]

ESTj: INFj gets really agitated by gay people. He says they complicate their lives. They complain about their lives yet they're the ones choosing the behaviors/lifestyle. If it's causing them so much trouble, why would they pursue it?

^WTF?

Noid, pls learn to type.

[noid]

do ya know any IEI IRL ?

sometime I wonder if it's me who have the only real version of socionic in my head

guy there is simply NO discussion like the one maze shared beetween ESTj and INFp... In maze discussion there is mutual understanding (just by vocabulary like "imagine, might" and other conditionnal stuff said by both part - the supposedly INFp and the ESTj ! that suggest more 2 Ne valuer type...), just point of view incomprehension... Perhaps it's not INFj ESTj but for sur it's not INFp ESTj... It's like the thread where you guy listed conflictor relationship (IEI - LSE, EII - SLE...), it's just you mistyping, that don't happen IRL...

you know my brother and myself have often moral/point of view incomprehension it's not for this reason we aren't the same type... I disagree on stuff especially on goal and spirituality with my girlfriend and that's not for this reason we aren't dual....

[GuavaDrunk]

[snark] For the sake of the "It's so much trouble to be gay why do it?" comment: It's a pain in the posterior to groom oneself to date people and to date people and to maintain relationships with people in general, why do you do it? Seriously, kill yourself. [/snark]

sometime I wonder if it's me who have the only real version of socionic in my head

Pretty much.

[Beautiful sky]

I haven't seen this one actually played out in real-life, but i have thoughts on it.

Leading versus Vulnerable : The ESTj wants the INFp to be more active, get more work done, and will criticise the INFp unless it's doing something useful.

Leading versus Vulnerable : The INFp is confident in putting off things until it's the right time, which upsets the ESTj who feels that now is the only time. INFp also seems eclectic and just plain weird to the ESTj, because of it's well-developed different beliefs and willingness to be what ESTj's consider laziness.

Role versus Creative : ESTj's are able to do actions now, and criticise the INFp who worries about what it is able to do now.

Role versus Creative : INFp wants a more emotionally drenched atmosphere and gets annoyed at the ESTj's dry attempt to create it. ESTj is annoyed by the INFp's tendency to focus on the Atmosphere rather the work that needs to be done, or the information that needs to be transmitted.

...

Great post!

Yeah, I have no problem taking on more and more and more work..what I have a majorly problem with is RELAXING.

[The Reality Denialist]

My brother LSE
My sister IEI

IEI: Do not meddle with my life.
LSE: I have my suspicions what you are doing. I'll arrange you a job.
IEI: Stop this!
LSE: You listen to me!
IEI: *33¤#R%¤#%#&#¤

Rinse and repeat.

[Muddy]

[Beautiful sky]

Oh my lord let’s see

So this is how it goes

LSE vents to me: she (INFp) is so self involved it’s disgusting; it’s all about what she has to do and none of it involves mom not taking her for a walk, not checking her blood sugar; it’s she gets home eats dinner goes to bed.

[Beautiful sky]

Calling all INFP I need help
@Aster @VewyScawwyNawcissist @Bethany
Why won’t an INFP abide by what is the right thing to do by law as to make sure she doesn’t lose her property and inheritance?

[VewyScawwyNawcissist]

Calling all INFP I need help
@Aster @VewyScawwyNawcissist
Why won’t an INFP abide by what is the right thing to do by law as to make sure she doesn’t lose her property and inheritance?

if its too difficult to think about, if i am frustrated by regulations restrictions, and maybe other things and then i have to deal with this maybe i may go fck it lets see how this goes, and maybe i dont like the people who give me the property and inheritance and i may want to lose it just to spite them/not feel controlled by them. maybe its not authentic. do u see how many Te related things u are saying (i see Te in a better light usually but let say this is a low manifestation), THE LAW, PROPERTY, INHERITANCE < why should i or anyone have to deal with that sh*t, its supposed to be working for me, not me for it. if the IEI is unhealthy/frustrated maybe the stress makes Te PoLR malfunction and we just do stupid things and want it gone and done. and then i may feel frustrated or not trust ppl around me to ask them to fix it for me, some of them not bc they are incompetent but bc they will look down on me and want favors and take me for granted and allow themselves to mistreat me bc i depend or depended on them, and usually arent u supposed to get a competent person that u also prolly pay to deal with the law for you? maybe the IEI doesnt have much money either

[Beautiful sky]

if its too difficult to think about, if i am frustrated by regulations restrictions, and maybe other things and then i have to deal with this maybe i may go fck it lets see how this goes, and maybe i dont like the people who give me the property and inheritance and i may want to lose it just to spite them/not feel controlled by them. maybe its not authentic. do u see how many Te related things u are saying (i see Te in a better light usually but let say this is a low manifestation), THE LAW, PROPERTY, INHERITANCE < why should i or anyone have to deal with that sh*t, its supposed to be working for me, not me for it. if the IEI is unhealthy/frustrated maybe the stress makes Te PoLR malfunction and we just do stupid things and want it gone and done. and then i may feel frustrated or not trust ppl around me to ask them to fix it for me, some of them not bc they are incompetent but bc they will look down on me and want favors and take me for granted and allow themselves to mistreat me bc i depend or depended on them, and usually arent u supposed to get a competent person that u also prolly pay to deal with the law for you? maybe the IEI doesnt have much money either

You are looking at this in so many perspectives I can see that but to explain it the bottom line is the person who cares about this also cares about the IEi’s security and wants things to be fair but also make sure the IEI doesn’t lose things if things went wrong. I mean that in the most genuine way. So the right thing to do is to do it legally but the IEI is freaking out and losing her emotional senses. I don’t know how to get her to calm down and trust the process. Like I need to take her hand and ensure her that I’ve got her back?

[VewyScawwyNawcissist]

You are looking at this in so many perspectives I can see that but to explain it the bottom line is the person who cares about this also cares about the IEi’s security and wants things to be fair but also make sure the IEI doesn’t lose things if things went wrong. I mean that in the most genuine way. So the right thing to do is to do it legally but the IEI is freaking out and losing her emotional senses. I don’t know how to get her to calm down and trust the process. Like I need to take her hand and ensure her that I’ve got her back?

lol maybe u should take her and physically hold her and not let her do things until the process is done

[Beautiful sky]

lol maybe u should take her and physically hold her and not let her do things until the process is done

Ok I was thinking that would work and maybe a bag to breath in ahaha

[Bethanyclaire]

You are looking at this in so many perspectives I can see that but to explain it the bottom line is the person who cares about this also cares about the IEi’s security and wants things to be fair but also make sure the IEI doesn’t lose things if things went wrong. I mean that in the most genuine way. So the right thing to do is to do it legally but the IEI is freaking out and losing her emotional senses. I don’t know how to get her to calm down and trust the process. Like I need to take her hand and ensure her that I’ve got her back?

that's tough, I mean maybe she has had a bad experience. Like, I found it so confusing understanding work policy even with union support. I wish I had gone to HR myself first- someone who would speak plainly, and then go to union/ management to help with my problem. I need to be able to see who to trust. I need the most simple explanations, the most impartial advice. Same with health issues- I have to psyche myself up to deal with them one step at a time because docs can overwhelm me. I think remind her that once she takes one step, it might feel easier, and if it gets stressful there will be a be a way to deal with it- someone can advise her on how to deal with it. It may not be as bad as she is expecting, deal with one small bit at a time, and then it might actually feel rewarding to understand the processes, you don't need to be an expert, just take the steps and talk it through with someone to feel less worried about the decisions you make.

[Aster]

Calling all INFP I need help
@Aster @VewyScawwyNawcissist @Bethany
Why won’t an INFP abide by what is the right thing to do by law as to make sure she doesn’t lose her property and inheritance?

Laziness & lack of caring enough, yes.

My mom wanted me to inherit money from a wrongful death lawsuit and my husband has been on my ass to go through all the motions to make sure I would get it. Basically trying to make me apply force to the situation since he can’t do it himself. Very stressful situation for me. I hate having to deal with it.

[lynn]

You are looking at this in so many perspectives I can see that but to explain it the bottom line is the person who cares about this also cares about the IEi’s security and wants things to be fair but also make sure the IEI doesn’t lose things if things went wrong. I mean that in the most genuine way. So the right thing to do is to do it legally but the IEI is freaking out and losing her emotional senses. I don’t know how to get her to calm down and trust the process. Like I need to take her hand and ensure her that I’ve got her back?

Maybe find an external expert (someone well versed in legal matters) who can explain it in a Ti-way why this should matter to her? If the reason is that there is a lack of understanding of the Te-process. Or is there another reason which might lead her to react emotionally and not be responsive to the suggestions?

[Sol]

Why won’t an INFP abide by what is the right thing to do by law as to make sure she doesn’t lose her property and inheritance?

If there is a risk of significant lose, you may bring her to specialized lawyer consultation. It should not cost much for all needed meetings.
To study subject in weak region by yourself is more annoying. If the subject is not easy - it's also risky you'll get needed result.