Is this duality? Possible ESFj INTj couple

[UDP]

not me
(thank god...)



I know the ESFj. SHe is an ESFj to a fault.
The guy is new (to me at least).
Demonstrates the Ij temperment pretty well.

Is not beta, is not ISTj.
I don't think he is Gamma ISFj, but I don't really know themtoo well.
Doesn't seem INFj
Seems a reasonable fit for INTj


Hmm..... ISFj seems possible now that I think of it.
Seems way to forward for an INTj... but then again, when I am comfortable I'm forward as well. But I don't sense from him. hmm... but then again, Fi via Se does somewhat make sense. I'll have to go over the profiles, etc. So advice or examples of ISFj in a relationship, especially with ESFjs, would be appreciated.




What I am concerned about is the ESFj trusting this person too much. She's shown remarkably bad judgment in the past, and alpha naivete about things. And now she seems to consult him for all heavy thinking. She's asking him how to write letters now..... it's justkind of distorbing.

The ESFj is happy very much in this relationship.... but she seems to be getting duller by the moment. Caring less and less about her shortcomings. This disturbs me greatly, as an INTj, an INTJ (especially), and someone who is concerned about the ESFj's being. It seems like she is interpreting the situation as duality or similar, but she is not beind dualized.... quite the opposite -- she is using this person as a cructh for her own development, and is purely focusing on regularing .

She seems to becoming more conceited in this way, which further disturbs me. Her relaitonships with other people are taking on a different tone, and to me it seems like what i mentioned above is influencing such. (Influencing things quite a bit). She is very very focused on her relationship, but I wonder if she is using it to 'not care' about other things as much.



Thoughts welcomed.

[Slacker]

Are you thinking there's a potential romantic interest? Maybe she's trying to flatter him and get his attention?

[UDP]

There IS huge romantic interest.

They are almost living together.

But they've only been seeing each other exclusively for over a month. That is what alarms me. THe ESFj says she's known him for a year, though, so she seems very confident about things.

[Slacker]

Everyone gets burned at some point or another. It's sad but it happens.

Well most people get burned at some point or another. I guess there are those people who marry their high-school sweethearts and are happy forever. They don't get burned that way.

She's asking for his help with things she doesn't need his help with to get his attention and spend time with him. She'll get over that.

It's dangerous to date people at work by the way. I've done it and it seems to usually get ugly. On the other hand, I know a lot of people who met their spouses at work and are very happy. Who knows, maybe everything will be fine.

[UDP]

She's 40 and he's 53
They've already been through marriage once each.
They're old and think they know what their doing..... butthey remind me of kids. Oh well.

[aestrivex]

if you dont think their relationship will work you could always murder them now and save the hassle.

[UDP]

The woman is dominant, and I would suppose Beta over Alpha, but I am really not sure.
She loves telling long stories, which makes me think Alpha, but likes to warn people and has an intuitive curiosity.

There is a great deal of arguing in the couple.

The male, who I once thought was ISTj or INTj, now strikes me as an INTp. I wonder why I didn't see it before. Stereotypical victim attitude, INTp intelligence and system-relational theory, models... and very rarely excited. Incredibly private, almost always criticizing his wife. Strikes me as intuitive. Very very reticent It is difficult to tell between INTj and INTp, but he seems more Gamma than myself. The only thing I could think of would be a very specific Ti subtype INTj, but even then. He is certainly not an intuitive subtype INTj who seeks to be babied.

I used to think he was ISTj and it was a Beta argue fest, but now I am not so sure. They are older now and their characters take on a different form.

[Exodus]

Is this the same one as before?

[UDP]

I've mentioned them yes. Our relationship has changed, but they are the same couple.