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Thread: Feeling down, depressed ISTp

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    Default Feeling down, depressed ISTp

    im your typical istp bloke here..

    went out with friends yesterday to celebrate the new year. 8 friends exactly which is considered a crowd already for the istp i suppose. we went to a bar and a club full of people, pretty overwhelming huh. the Problem? i was very quiet throughout the night, only laughing at jokes n speaking a few times while mostly observing what they were saying. n i was getting stick for it. they were constantly saying about me being so quiet n being e odd 1 out.. one even said 'let him be. he's gonna go into depression keeping to himself'. it got to the point where i just shut off n just give weak n short replies. have been friends with these guys for 6 years and they should know better about the reserved n quite side of me.

    the night actually started well for me until midway through where all the quiet stuff n being e butt of jokes a few times really made me want to get the hell outta there.. i endured n stayed with them just for the sake of showing my face n not being a loser(to them at least) by going home first.

    now..? im not sure about going out with them anymore(going out to celebrate n hanging out etc at least). maybe only soccer.

    i want them to know about my istp personality but then as istp, we don't exactly express or tell our feelings directly yeah.. n they don't know about
    socionics either. have e feeling that im gonna end up a loser if i do tell about it..

    what should i do man.....

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    buy a large bag of pickles and use it to mop your floor. sprinkle your bed with pencil shavings and smear cream cheese in your front door's lock so that it becomes completely dysfunctional.

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    Though niffweed's directions were good ones, if you don't want to hang out with them anymore or go in public with them, don't. Perhaps you aren't ISTp, unless my understanding is incorrect and it might be, ISTps wouldn't put themselves in such an uncomfortable situation.
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    Quote Originally Posted by oyburger
    Though niffweed's directions were good ones, if you don't want to hang out with them anymore or go in public with them, don't. Perhaps you aren't ISTp, unless my understanding is incorrect and it might be, ISTps wouldn't put themselves in such an uncomfortable situation.
    i would agree, based on this brief and entirely uninformative description this guy doesn't sound ISTp at all and appears to me to be going more off MBTI, which could mean absolutely anything.

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    Yeah, strangely enough i was suprised this guy said he was ISTp too. Mate i actually occasionally do things like that so maybe your an ENFp? :wink:

    Irrespective of what type you are trust me i know exactly how something like this feels. Its unlikely you were really the butt of their jokes, you were probablly feeling a little more sensitive so they seemed worse. If i have a night like this i go home, have a big fuckoff sleep, and things always seem better in the morning. I recon i have had 20 nights similar to this man as i used to suffer from almost debilitating anxiety.

    Try work on whats depressing you, get a new job, get some exercise. Maybe hang out with a few less people. Once you feel better obviously this wont happen anymore.

    Also watch out for weed and excessive booze. Some people can handle them and some cant as well. Nothing like a depressant to chase the blues away
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

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    Quote Originally Posted by fever
    @runaway... i know what u mean... i don't feel that i connect with hardly anyone.

    i know this is going to kind of sound vain... but i feel like most ppl r just kind of stupid or something.
    I feel that all my friends and acquiantances I meet so far fall outside the Delta quadra.I went out with three good friends of eight years, an ISTj, ISFp, and INTp during New Year's Eve. The ISTj is my best friend, and the ISFp and INTp are each other's best friend. However, I realized that these days, the ISTj and INTp seem to have more in common as compared to me and the ISTj. Whenever I speak, I feel that the ISTj doesn't seem to be listening to me and does not respond to my questions. It seems that the ISFp felt the same way with the INTp in a way. Instead, I'm becoming closer to the ISFp these days. When I'm with the ISFp, she seems to be more willing to talk to me about her problems and listen to the suggestions I got to give. The INTp seems to be more insensitive to her. For example, when the ISFp asked me whether her face looked fat in the picture, I was like, no (I meant it as she is a petite girl and looks fine to me.) When I asked the rest for their opinions, the INTp actually agreed with her that her face looked fat and gave some negative remarks which deepened the ISFp's moodiness.

    I think our group has different interest and most of the time, I had to compromise so that everyone is happy. For example, the girls wanted to watch a popular Japanese movie based loosely on an anime series yesterday, but the tickets for that time slot was sold out. So I suggested watching another movie which was available then. It was an arts house film with an awesome plot about caste systems and the strength of the human spirit, but none of them was interested and they were dismissing it immediately after knowing that it was an arts house film.

    I feel stifled when I'm with people who are not adventurous or flexible enough to learn about things which are not popular at the moment. It seems like when I'm with them and introduced some new stuff, they are quite adverse against it. Whenever we go out, it is either karaoke, shopping, eating, and pool only. It seems like they are more comfortable with routine than I do. Moreover, apart from the ISFp, the other two girls are not willing to have deep conversations which I thought is very important between friends.

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    Eunice - ISFp

    I feel stifled when I'm with people who are not adventurous or flexible enough to learn about things which are not popular at the moment. It seems like when I'm with them and introduced some new stuff, they are quite adverse against it.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Default Re: feeling down

    Quote Originally Posted by runaway
    im your typical istp bloke here..

    went out with friends yesterday to celebrate the new year. 8 friends exactly which is considered a crowd already for the istp i suppose. we went to a bar and a club full of people, pretty overwhelming huh. the Problem? i was very quiet throughout the night, only laughing at jokes n speaking a few times while mostly observing what they were saying. n i was getting stick for it. they were constantly saying about me being so quiet n being e odd 1 out.. one even said 'let him be. he's gonna go into depression keeping to himself'. it got to the point where i just shut off n just give weak n short replies. have been friends with these guys for 6 years and they should know better about the reserved n quite side of me.

    the night actually started well for me until midway through where all the quiet stuff n being e butt of jokes a few times really made me want to get the hell outta there.. i endured n stayed with them just for the sake of showing my face n not being a loser(to them at least) by going home first.

    now..? im not sure about going out with them anymore(going out to celebrate n hanging out etc at least). maybe only soccer.

    i want them to know about my istp personality but then as istp, we don't exactly express or tell our feelings directly yeah.. n they don't know about
    socionics either. have e feeling that im gonna end up a loser if i do tell about it..

    what should i do man.....
    hey runnaway, most likely your friends did not mean any harm by their comments. They probably just wanted you to react to them. Believe it or not for some people it actually does get them laughing and reacting. In their mind the script probably goes ' Its new years eve. Everybody should be upbeat and excited' and then they looked over at you and you sat there deadpan.
    Ive always said though that ISTPs often behave the opposite of what people would expect This doesnt mean there is something wrong with you. Its just that for some people its very difficult to understand your way of behaving because its so different from what would be comfortable to them. It would be like if you saw someone laying on a bed of nails. In your mind you would say "Thats just gotta be uncomfortable." and when you ask him they say "Im fine". You hear what he says but in your mind you are still thinking "I just cant imagine how he could be fine. That looks painful, even dangerous". Thats an exaggeration but you get the point. :wink:
    So you shouldnt neccessarily have to limit your association to soccer only. More likely than not when the group dynamics change so will the group behavior. I find that in groups certain ones set the tone. When one person is taken out of the equation the whole tone can change. I try to recognize who it is that starts mess and avoid them. If you go out with an ENFP in your group more likely he will cover for you either by defending you or underminding the person who is irritating you by reversing things and putting them on the spot. Since ENFPs dont like bad feelings it would probably be done with humor so that everyone would end up laughing :wink:

    Topaz
    The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.

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    Default Re: feeling down

    Quote Originally Posted by runaway
    im your typical istp bloke here..

    went out with friends yesterday to celebrate the new year. 8 friends exactly which is considered a crowd already for the istp i suppose. we went to a bar and a club full of people, pretty overwhelming huh. the Problem? i was very quiet throughout the night, only laughing at jokes n speaking a few times while mostly observing what they were saying. n i was getting stick for it. they were constantly saying about me being so quiet n being e odd 1 out.. one even said 'let him be. he's gonna go into depression keeping to himself'. it got to the point where i just shut off n just give weak n short replies. have been friends with these guys for 6 years and they should know better about the reserved n quite side of me.

    ......

    i want them to know about my istp personality but then as istp, we don't exactly express or tell our feelings directly yeah.. n they don't know about
    socionics either. have e feeling that im gonna end up a loser if i do tell about it..

    what should i do man.....
    Explain.. explain to them. If they are real friends, they will listen and try to understand and hopefully not repeat whatever that irritates you. They may know you for six years but that doesn't mean that they've "gotten" all of you. Furthermore, when you have have been friends with someone for a long time, sometimes you may act like it's alright to let loose and be more daring with your jokes. This could be the case for your friends. Playful banter. But if you don't like it, let them know about it.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Eunice - ISFp

    I feel stifled when I'm with people who are not adventurous or flexible enough to learn about things which are not popular at the moment. It seems like when I'm with them and introduced some new stuff, they are quite adverse against it.
    Hmmm that sounds pretty Ne to me.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    An INFj I know has expressed similar dissatifaction
    Pre-2013 post are written with incomplete understanding.

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    This happens to me at least on a daily basis. Before, I would let it really get to me. Now I couldn't care less. They don't know me no matter how much they think they do so they can say whatever they want, who cares. I know I'm not what they say I am. People who say that about you are obviously intimidated on some level. Let them be.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129
    This happens to me at least on a daily basis.
    Which means you do not have much contact with ENFps. We accept people for what they are and try to make them feel good just for being themselves.

    Just as my ISTp friend can tell when I'm hungry just by watching at me, I can tell when he needs a back stroke.

    I can't think of a nicer relationship with anybody.
    [] | NP | 3[6w5]8 so/sp | Type thread | My typing of forum members | Johari (Strengths) | Nohari (Weaknesses)

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    Just as my ISTp friend can tell when I'm hungry just by watching at me, I can tell when he needs a back stroke.
    Hehe.. Back rub? I didn't think ISTp's liked being touched?

    I dont feel quite as close a dual relationships with the ISTp's i know. I didn't know how to interpret my old ISTp friend and we ended up having a falling out. Now that i know Socionics, i understand ISTp's a lot better. In fact i find ISTp girls exiting and hot where to be honest i didn't as much before. I had no idea a special type of girl existed that i would like, i just didn't see any patterns. Maybe i have just had really bad luck... or maybe im no where near as Intuitive as i once thought.

    I have an ISTp guy sitting next to me at work. He often slips into his quiet zone but i dont mind just let him go or i may talk to him. Its a rare treat when he starts talking or laughs.

    The problem with ISTp's and ENFp's can depend on how things are interpreted. For instance at the bar the other night he just walked off lol didn't even say bye. He came back later though. The way he looks serious can make you wonder if hes angry at me but then i just remember hes an ISTp. I wished him happy new years via sms and got no reply. Then i remembered hes an ISTp. I asked him for his number and he keyed it into my phone, then i got home and it wasn't there. Then i remembered hes an ISTp. Actually i aksed him later and he explained to me he called me and it was my job to put it in my phone lol..

    The truth of the matter is, Dual relationship or not if i didn't persue a relationship with him when i leave work this friday we would never see each other again. I dont think either of us feel an immense pull but we do definately like each other. I cant read his mind and im not perfectly in tune with him. When hes around though i feel safe and relaxed.

    Thats why im in debt to Socionics. I no longer feel like its pot luck whether a girl will be good for me. I now truly believe they are out there. Even if i will be 40 before i meet one, thats still fucking rad..
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

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    Where are ENFPs? I'm thinking they don't exist.

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    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129
    Where are ENFPs? I'm thinking they don't exist.
    I think they do. Just that it's hard to notice your dual. I think ESTjs don't exist too. They are too perfect to be true.

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    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129
    Where are ENFPs? I'm thinking they don't exist.
    I think they do. Just that it's hard to notice your dual. I think ESTjs don't exist too. They are too perfect to be true.
    So, what's this ESTj in your mind like?
    First eliminate every possible source of error. Thence success is inevitable.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smilingeyes
    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129
    Where are ENFPs? I'm thinking they don't exist.
    I think they do. Just that it's hard to notice your dual. I think ESTjs don't exist too. They are too perfect to be true.
    So, what's this ESTj in your mind like?
    haha, i'm glad you posted...I wasn't gonna touch this one!

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    Quote Originally Posted by cracka
    Quote Originally Posted by Smilingeyes
    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129
    Where are ENFPs? I'm thinking they don't exist.
    I think they do. Just that it's hard to notice your dual. I think ESTjs don't exist too. They are too perfect to be true.
    So, what's this ESTj in your mind like?
    haha, i'm glad you posted...I wasn't gonna touch this one!
    It's tough to be the attending [nonexistent being]. How're you doing lately btw? I'm feeling uneasy and annoyed, staying in the theme of the thread.
    First eliminate every possible source of error. Thence success is inevitable.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smilingeyes
    Quote Originally Posted by cracka
    Quote Originally Posted by Smilingeyes
    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129
    Where are ENFPs? I'm thinking they don't exist.
    I think they do. Just that it's hard to notice your dual. I think ESTjs don't exist too. They are too perfect to be true.
    So, what's this ESTj in your mind like?
    haha, i'm glad you posted...I wasn't gonna touch this one!
    It's tough to be the attending [nonexistent being]. How're you doing lately btw? I'm feeling uneasy and annoyed, staying in the theme of the thread.
    eh, i'm doing alright I guess, thanks for asking.
    As for the theme of the thread, as you put it, I'm bored and chatty... I've been talking about the football games that were on yesterday with pretty much everyone I've talked to today.

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    don't sweat things runaway. it's just new year's eve, the most bullshit depressing holiday of the year. no one ever has a good time on new years unless they stay home and screw. heh hehe.

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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    Quote Originally Posted by Smilingeyes
    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129
    Where are ENFPs? I'm thinking they don't exist.
    I think they do. Just that it's hard to notice your dual. I think ESTjs don't exist too. They are too perfect to be true.
    So, what's this ESTj in your mind like?
    No specific ESTj in mind. All the EXTjs (not that I noticed a lot) I noticed IRL are tall, fit and staggeringly handsome. Basically, they have both brains and brawns at the same time. I'd prefer not to have one as my dual 'cos it's pressurising to be acquianted with such a perfect person and I need to live up to his standards and people's expectations. To some extent, I feel that I'm not good enough for them, and I'm likely to benefit more from them in a relationship than they benefit from me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    tall, fit and staggeringly handsome.
    hahaha, i'm sooooooo not an ESTJ anymore... I'm short and chubby.

    oh well, I guess I'm ok with that. :wink:

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    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    Quote Originally Posted by Smilingeyes
    Quote Originally Posted by eunice
    Quote Originally Posted by jessica129
    Where are ENFPs? I'm thinking they don't exist.
    I think they do. Just that it's hard to notice your dual. I think ESTjs don't exist too. They are too perfect to be true.
    So, what's this ESTj in your mind like?
    No specific ESTj in mind. All the EXTjs (not that I noticed a lot) I noticed IRL are tall, fit and staggeringly handsome. Basically, they have both brains and brawns at the same time. I'd prefer not to have one as my dual 'cos it's pressurising to be acquianted with such a perfect person and I need to live up to his standards and people's expectations. To some extent, I feel that I'm not good enough for them, and I'm likely to benefit more from them in a relationship than they benefit from me.
    That's why your dual is an ENTp (the ones I know are fit and can be handsome all that jazz too, but they have something very non-perfect about them).
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    The ESTj next door is short and solid but athletic.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    runaway, it doesn't matter what fucking type you are or aren't. Your friends are obviously aware that sometimes you get depressed, and the way you've framed the situation shows you think they were making cheap shots at the expense of your feelings.

    Friends or not, you owe it to yourself to stand up against that kind of shit. If that happens again, tell them straight up they are disrespecting you and go from there.

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    That's why your dual is an ENTp
    Eh.....no thanks. I don't like to argue with someone for the sake of arguing.

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    If I dated an ISFp, I would never argue with her for the sake of arguing alone. That's what everybody else is there for
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilligan
    If I dated an ISFp, I would never argue with her for the sake of arguing alone. That's what everybody else is there for
    Yes. Why argue with your dual? No point. Argue with your contrary, comparative, mirror, quasi-identifical. Let's get it on! hahaha

    ILE

    those who are easily shocked.....should be shocked more often

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