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Thread: Formality and Intimacy

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    Default Formality and Intimacy

    I don't know if this works for everyone, but here goes.

    Which word describes you best when you are with a person:
    Intimate (Alpha + Beta)
    Formal (Gamma + Delta)

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    Poster Nutbag The Exception's Avatar
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    I prefer intimacy. Not sure how it applies to quadras though like you mention. Why would alpha and beta prefer intimacy and gamma and delta prefer formality?

    Laura
    INTj, intuitive subtype?

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    Te is generally associated with formality, whereas Fe is usually associated with intimacy.

    I don't think this'll work for the INFjs.

    Anyway, I'd go with intimacy, though I really don't see how the two are neccessarily opposite of each other; I loathe formality due to the beurocracy it generates, so....
    "To become is just like falling asleep. You never know exactly when it happens, the transition, the magic, and you think, if you could only recall that exact moment of crossing the line then you would understand everything; you would see it all"

    "Angels dancing on the head of a pin dissolve into nothingness at the bedside of a dying child."

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    I think INFjs are the type of people that care what others think of them.

    They wanna somehow fit into society. They may sympathize with you without getting intimate. Therefore they keep some sort of formality or distance.

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    That was me.

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    Oh, and Hugo, is the question asking "which do you prefer". or "are you more formal or intimate with others?"

    In which case, yea, I would agree with the above poster.
    "To become is just like falling asleep. You never know exactly when it happens, the transition, the magic, and you think, if you could only recall that exact moment of crossing the line then you would understand everything; you would see it all"

    "Angels dancing on the head of a pin dissolve into nothingness at the bedside of a dying child."

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    Quote Originally Posted by MysticSonic
    Oh, and Hugo, is the question asking "which do you prefer". or "are you more formal or intimate with others?"

    In which case, yea, I would agree with the above poster.
    It is both, but more in relation to others. I've tried to avoid using many words in the question.

    Do you think the question is OK as it is, or does it need to be more specific?

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    I would say it needs to be a bit more specific; I would think that, while INFjs may act formally, they prefer an intimate enviornment.
    "To become is just like falling asleep. You never know exactly when it happens, the transition, the magic, and you think, if you could only recall that exact moment of crossing the line then you would understand everything; you would see it all"

    "Angels dancing on the head of a pin dissolve into nothingness at the bedside of a dying child."

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    My understanding is that intimacy and formality is always in connection with other people.

    Also do you have INFj friends to ask the above question to?

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    I can't contact him at the moment, but I do have an INFj friend.

    And I understand this; I'm saying that the INFj, while he may act formal, does NOT desire formality. Of course, I'll have to let INFjs answer that one, since I am uncertain of that particular property of them...
    "To become is just like falling asleep. You never know exactly when it happens, the transition, the magic, and you think, if you could only recall that exact moment of crossing the line then you would understand everything; you would see it all"

    "Angels dancing on the head of a pin dissolve into nothingness at the bedside of a dying child."

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    I've amended the question. Please see it above.

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    Works for me. .

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    Edited for gayness.

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    Default Re: Formality and Intimacy

    Quote Originally Posted by Hugo
    I don't know if this works for everyone, but here goes.

    Which word describes you best when you are with a person:
    Intimate (Alpha + Beta)
    Formal (Gamma + Delta)
    When Im with one person I would definitely say intimacy. Well, not too initmate ...ahem... but personal, and casual, not formal.

    Topaz

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    Creepy-Monica

    Default Re: Formality and Intimacy

    Quote Originally Posted by Hugo
    I don't know if this works for everyone, but here goes.

    Which word describes you best when you are with a person:
    Intimate (Alpha + Beta)
    Formal (Gamma + Delta)
    Ummm....perhaps you could reword the question a little bit. When I with people I don't know or I don't know what they think about me I'm formal. But depending on the person I can become intimate and self-revealing (unlike my INFP sister) within minutes of knowing them. Unlike me, she doesn't put up a wall with people.... but when I comfortable I get emotionally intimate with people a lot faster than she does and I go deeper.

    My wall of "formality" is only to protect myself. But I prefer and long for for deep intimacy not superfical connections. In the past, even my "enemies" would come to me and pour their hearts out to me when they were going through a hard time.

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    Edited for gayness.

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    edited

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