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Thread: Arrogance vs Confidence

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    Default Arrogance vs. Confidence

    Since it has surfaced here many times I explored a bit on this. It seems the subject is discussed in many places because most people think there is a distinction between confidence and arrogance. And in every workplace and such setting there are confident and arrogant people. How do you see the difference? I took these from infoworld weblog discussion to get us started (comment these or figure out your own definition):

    "I'm not sure I could arrive at a crisp and clear dividing line between the two. In general, I figure confident people are comfortable acknowledging the good ideas and insights of others, where arrogant people, never being wrong, rarely acknowledge that anyone with a different perspective is ever right ... and usually won't have any basis for evaluation, since they rarely waste their time listening to anyone else."

    "Try this on for size: Confidant people figure they're one of the capable people in the room. Arrogant people each figure he or she is the only capable person in the room."

    "The quickest way to seperate Arrogance from Confidence is the arrogant one never utters the words "I don't know". They have an answer for everything."

    "In dealing with a new person, or criticizing the work of others, just criticizing is arrogance. Asking what ideas can we come up with to overcome the problemn is confidence."

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    A quick dictionary check seems to distinguish the two by saying that arrogance is overbearing. It doesn't say anything about being overbearing in the "confident" definitions. Maybe they are similar but arrogance will also be overbearing.

    To me, I have understood arrogance to have less truth in it than confidence. One is arrogant-- overbearing-- precisely because one's confidence overextends one's abilities.

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    I get the impression from arrogant people that they are not just comparing their abilities with other people and thinking they are better at things, but they actually think they are better as people, as judged by their own view of what makes a good/successful person, whilst simultaneously ignoring anyone else criteria of what makes a good/succesful person, and thats why its annoying.

    Confident people beieve in their own abilities and compare their abilities with others but never against others as people, and hence its attractive and not annoying, becaouse they always acknowledge that different people have criteria about success and what makes them happy.
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    Arogance is confidence that rejects critical thinking.

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    Quote Originally Posted by snegledmaca
    Arogance is confidence that rejects critical thinking.
    Not to mention that arrogance is totally "fake" ... confidence is not.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rmcnew
    Quote Originally Posted by snegledmaca
    Arogance is confidence that rejects critical thinking.
    Not to mention that arrogance is totally "fake"
    I say the opposite, I say arrogance as is very sincere, unnaturally even. Arrogant people truly and deeply believe every single blind conviction they have.

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    Quote Originally Posted by snegledmaca
    Quote Originally Posted by rmcnew
    Quote Originally Posted by snegledmaca
    Arogance is confidence that rejects critical thinking.
    Not to mention that arrogance is totally "fake"
    I say the opposite, I say arrogance as is very sincere, unnaturally even. Arrogant people truly and deeply believe every single blind conviction they have.
    Just because you believe in something does not make it real ...

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    My personal definition is that confident means that you know you're great, but you're not any better than any one else (just like they're not any better than you), and arrogance is where you act like you're better than others.
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    Quote Originally Posted by rmcnew
    Just because you believe in something does not make it real ...
    I misunderstood what you meant as fake. I assumed you were referring to a personal judgment of it not being valid in it's intent.

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    Confidence allows space for criticism and improvement? Yet know what they're doing?
    Arrogant people think themselves correct, rejects other points of view/ideas?
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    confident people eat turnips. arrogant people do not.

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    it's beets niffweed

    Quote Originally Posted by Mea
    Confidence allows space for criticism and improvement? Yet know what they're doing?
    Arrogant people think themselves correct, rejects other points of view/ideas?
    I very much like this distinction.

    Pretty much, confident people are healthy and arrogant people are not.
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    not true; i know both arrogant and confident people who eat beets. but arrogants won't touch turnips.

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    I'm under the impression that those who are confident but not arrogant dwell on their past mistakes and push to be better than their past selves (thus gaining confidence) whereas an arrogant person is likely to compare themselves to others in order to feel that they are better and more confident.

    This is just from past experiences though.
    ^ ... that's all that my brain could intelligently write up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    it's beets niffweed

    Quote Originally Posted by Mea
    Confidence allows space for criticism and improvement? Yet know what they're doing?
    Arrogant people think themselves correct, rejects other points of view/ideas?
    I very much like this distinction.

    Pretty much, confident people are healthy and arrogant people are not.
    Also, I'd very much prefer the company of confident people. They give the feeling that you'd learn much from them. That they're willing to learn, and also willing to teach.
    However, those who are arrogant, makes one feel very tiny and insignificant. And give the feeling like, "I understand this, I don't think you would".
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    Arrogant people are assholes, and confident people are dicks, therefore confident people fuck arrogant people.
    MAYBE I'LL BREAK DOWN!!!


    Quote Originally Posted by vague
    Rocky's posts are as enjoyable as having wisdom teeth removed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Arrogant people are assholes, and confident people are dicks, therefore confident people fuck arrogant people.

    Interesting way to put it.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mea
    Quote Originally Posted by Joy
    it's beets niffweed

    Quote Originally Posted by Mea
    Confidence allows space for criticism and improvement? Yet know what they're doing?
    Arrogant people think themselves correct, rejects other points of view/ideas?
    I very much like this distinction.

    Pretty much, confident people are healthy and arrogant people are not.
    Also, I'd very much prefer the company of confident people. They give the feeling that you'd learn much from them. That they're willing to learn, and also willing to teach.
    However, those who are arrogant, makes one feel very tiny and insignificant. And give the feeling like, "I understand this, I don't think you would".
    Yeah, people like truly confident people because confident people believe that others are worthwhile and inspire people to have more confidence in themselves.

    Arrogant people make others feel like shit about themselves. This is because they arrogant person feels like shit about his/herself and projects that onto others, but do it in a way which they feel makes them appear superior.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Arrogant people are assholes, and confident people are dicks, therefore confident people fuck arrogant people.
    HAHAHAHA
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Arrogant people are assholes, and confident people are dicks, therefore confident people fuck arrogant people.
    lol...

    that made me think of:

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    If someone is the best at something, and knows it, is it arrogance or confidence? If he doesn't know, is it humility or stupidity?

    The way you can tell is not by their beliefs. The way you can tell is by how they actually treat, regard, and relate to their peers on a purely social level.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    I guess arrogant people are more likely to piss other people off. Confident people are more likely to be seen as a source of inspiration. Most people want to imitate and look up to confident people but not arrogant people. Socionics complicates this though because your conflictor is likely to piss you off even if you he/she is not arrogant and your dual might look ok even when arrogant etc.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilligan
    If someone is the best at something, and knows it, is it arrogance or confidence?
    How can you just "know" it? Sounds arrogant, heh.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gilligan
    If someone is the best at something, and knows it, is it arrogance or confidence? If he doesn't know, is it humility or stupidity?
    I tend to be very confident in the way I work and do my job, I do know that I'm the best in my area at what I do...of course I know it and try to make everyone else know...and to a very small extent I'm sure everyone knows I am the best at what I do...lol would I say I'm arrogant about it, no. Of course, some may think different but that's their opinion.
    At the end of the day, I'm the one that the others turn to for any advice or help when they need it. If some times another person is actually right about something and i may not have the best way to do it, I'll be the first to say good job and let them know that they did good.
    Now, that's not to say that I'm confident in everything...that's just how I am at work. :wink:

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    Quote Originally Posted by cracka
    Quote Originally Posted by Gilligan
    If someone is the best at something, and knows it, is it arrogance or confidence? If he doesn't know, is it humility or stupidity?
    I tend to be very confident in the way I work and do my job, I do know that I'm the best in my area at what I do...of course I know it and try to make everyone else know...and to a very small extent I'm sure everyone knows I am the best at what I do...lol would I say I'm arrogant about it, no. Of course, some may think different but that's their opinion.
    At the end of the day, I'm the one that the others turn to for any advice or help when they need it. If some times another person is actually right about something and i may not have the best way to do it, I'll be the first to say good job and let them know that they did good.
    Now, that's not to say that I'm confident in everything...that's just how I am at work. :wink:
    I think you are actually a good example of a confident but non-arrogant person. I would have to see your work personality to know for sure though Somehow confident people seem to have a "positive aura" where arrogant people have a "negative aura".

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    Quote Originally Posted by XoX
    I would have to see your work personality to know for sure though
    Hahaha... This is so very characteristic of.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rocky
    Arrogant people are assholes, and confident people are dicks, therefore confident people fuck arrogant people.
    I think this was the best explanation

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    As I see it simply, confidence is knowing, arrogance is assuming.

    When I was a little kid and not all that refined I noticed how a lot of adults moved. Women generally moved gently and at an easy pace, while most the men I noted moved faster, sharper and harder. Both seemed equally confident however in different ways. The female movements appeared confident as if they were well rehearsed, while the male movements appeared confident as if they knew exactly the outcome because of past experience. And suddenly I realized I have no more story for contrast of arrogance, but whateva I wrote it out.

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    I think you answered it right. Arrogance is much more exclusionary thinking they're the only one that is right. It's a false sense of superiority. Confident people recognize they're more capable than others but they also see the potential in other people as well. (ie a confident person would defend somebody being bullied by an arrogant person.)

    It's kinda like heroes in stories. By default they usually have to be confident. So they might realize their sidekick as a very capable person. They believe in others even when they don't believe in themselves. (for a good example of this check out the relationships Buffy had with her friends in 'Buffy the Vampire Slayer.')

    Villains, stereotypically speaking, are typically arrogant and think they're better than other people. (ie the Hell God Glory that gets hits with trucks and wrecking balls and the like)

    I know at my happiest...I think "I'm okay, you're okay." Not "I'm okay, you're not okay" or "I'm not okay, you're okay" or "I'm not okay, you're not okay." (lol I remember doing those lame self-esteem exercises in high school.)

    It might think at first glance that people that think "I'm okay, you're not okay" are actually happy as well as they get some sort of rush out of being 'on top' but I think it's more narcissim , ie a high-ego that's protecting a weakness. Not that they have low self-esteem, it's just much more imbalanced and shakey. This is proven when you stand up to a bully, they'll usually whine or flee or otherwise reveal their own weaknesses.

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    LOL did you do "I'm OK, You're OK" in high school too? ROFL
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


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    yes lmao I'm in my early twenties so when I was in HS the whole pop-psych self-esteem craze was at it's most rampant.

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    I'm in my late 30s. It's been going on a while

    That book - I'm OK, You're OK, was from like the late 60s or early 70s. I had a teacher who was a serious serious believer of that. I haven't thought about that for ages.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
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    I also did a hella funny exercise where we learned about three different types of people and how one of them was clearly better then the other ones:

    Bully Bart.
    Assertive Sally.
    Dora the Doormat.

    Everybody said I was 'Dora the Doormat' so they tried to get me to be more like Assertive Sally. I thought Assertive Sally was kinda bitchy tho. And Bully Bart was just hella stereotypical. (fat kid with spikey hair and pimples)

    It was fun though because I started compartmentalizing people into three different types: Bully, Assertive, and Doormat.

  34. #34
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    Default Confidence vs Arrogance

    I am taking Confidence to be the "positive sense"

    and

    Arrogance to be the "negative sense"

    Solve this problem.....

    What is the dividing line, how does one live life without either being intimidated and meek or overly hubris and arrogant.

    Put forth your best thoughts...

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    Arrogance is not knowing when it is appropriate to be confident.
    3w4-5w6-9w8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    Arrogance is not knowing when it is appropriate to be confident.
    I have trouble with this because who or what is the authority in saying it is appropriate to be confident?

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    Quote Originally Posted by HaveLucidDreamz View Post
    ...how does one live life without either being intimidated and meek or overly hubris and arrogant.
    Kill the ego and you're no longer overly hubris and arrogant. Now, what stays is "how does one live life without being intimidated and meek". My preliminary suggestions are: call 911 when required, call someone an asshole when required, go to bed when required, do everything when required. Essentially, go by-the-book. Follow the rules. Any set of rules. Be true, not to yourself, be true to your rules. Surrender yourself to them. By doing that you'll live life without being intimidated and meek because there is no such thing as a rule which makes you intimidated and week. Why is that so? Well it is because rules are not alive, they're not warmblooded beings; therefore they can't be intimidated and week. If you embrace them, same applies to you. Rules live a life of their own, if you embrace them they'll live your life too. No worry for you. No worry for rules as well, because they're not warmblooded beings, they are not worrisome. Are you a warmblooded being then? Hm??

    I was trying to say something like this. I didn't. I said this instead. I'll be back, probably.

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    Confidence is being sure of your ability to complete a task.

    Arrogance is thinking that you deserve a higher status than others.

    Confidence is focused on your own abilities; arrogance is focused on comparing yourself to others.

    Being sure of my ability to draw well is confidence. Thinking I deserve more fame and glory than other people because I can draw well is arrogance.
    Quaero Veritas.

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    Quote Originally Posted by HaveLucidDreamz View Post
    I have trouble with this because who or what is the authority in saying it is appropriate to be confident?
    ESIs
    3w4-5w6-9w8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Azeroffs View Post
    ESIs
    If that were the case then arrogant would be a good thing imho.

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