Born to be an introvert?
In my early childhood, between age 2½ - 5½ I didn´t have too many buddies around. I played mostly while being at home with my 3 year older sister and my mother was at home full time by then (late 60s). My 6 year old brother spent most of his free time with his friends.
I think the time in my childhood that had biggest impact on me was the year around age 4. I had a friend who was 1½ years younger, he could barely speak but I/we also played with his 6 year old sister sometimes. They were kind but a lot of the time I spent with myself. I was outside on my own quite a bit, as I recall, next to roads and fields walking, which moments I remember as sensing and perceiving the nature, in a still way. I had feelings of being on my own, rather than calling it being alone/lonely. Usually not unpleasant but not pleasant either.
I felt a fascination for some items that my dad had, a few very old telephone parts and some of his mechanics. I once saw an electronic circuit board in a wardrobe and immediately I was hugely fascinated by seeing the components, resistors, capacitors etc. From that day on.
However, I have been wondering if I really am a genuine introvert, although tests always show that, and considering how I "prefer" to be "alone". The reason should be because I don´t get to know many people who see and understand me well (and also having the same ideals). I.e. unwillingly. Later on in school I felt "over" all the others as I read and wrote immediately. I got respect and became popular through being funny, telling stories etc. I didn´t want to play football. And if I tried, I didn´t do well. I thought it was boring.
I felt as the others knew less than me so there was less to talk about.
Humour was something I resorted to instead, with others. At least it was my own jokes which I though was funny. But doing this was maybe also an escape in me, from more serious matters which I could have dealt with
others if there were any. Well some or just too few.
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Balzac