my half-brother

[implied]

i'm going to try to describe him. i've heard ESTp/ISFp as possible types. he even has some INTp qualities, i think. i can't really figure him out at all. i'm fairly sure his wife is an INFp or an ISFp.


he's generally very jovial, kind of private, but also not private at all. like at parties and what not, he's very funny/has a good sense of humor. if someone "crosses the line" with him in conversation or acts aggressive/loud/argumentative, he gets very quiet. he's really very docile in a way, but also very manipulative/not that concerned with what is decent (e.g. not leeching tons of money out of your mom when you're married and have taken on the responsibility of a wife, which is my dad's major beef with him.) does not forgive easily. can be incredibly childish in these matters and i think he takes my dad far too seriously sometimes (my dad can seem overly-dramatic.)

doesn't keep jobs at all, although i am convinced he's really smart/qualified/could do whatever he wanted to do if he'd apply himself or if his wife would give him some freedom/or if she'd work or something while he goes to school/if they wouldn't spend tons of money on useless stuff. it's a weird cycle that i actually think is plenty stoppable, but they don't seem to care/are content, i think, w/ their lot in life.

can talk my mother into buying damned near anything she doesn't need. he'll usually only do this when there's something in it for him, or if it's some electronic item he thinks he needs. he can convince her into getting it, whatever it is. spends like crazy, then asks my mom for money, which in turn makes my dad mad because he thinks my brother needs to grow up. they are up to their ears in debt. eats anything, and lots of it, mostly crappy stuff that is completely devoid of nutritional value (like a lot of fast food.) can talk about books/movies/lord of the rings type stuff and i think this is pretty much all that interests him anymore, although he used to be more diverse. loves horror movies. pays absolutely zero attention to his appearance. lives for the holidays and parties. loves his two dogs. weak self-control.

oh, and if i ask him to do something like sell some item for me for me on ebay (i bought this PDA that i wound up never using, which is something i should have sold myself,) he'll just take it for his own and say that he'll pay me back, but of course he doesn't. i have to go physically remove it from his house/ask for it verbally. he can slowly claim a lot of your belongings as his if you leave them there.


they (my brother and his wife) have this weird mutually parasitic relationship. like she ties him down a lot, spends a lot, and then tells him to go get money from my mom. he comes up with some great reason why he needs this money and she hands it over.


i think in highschool he was generally thought to be one of the kids with no conduct problems or anything like that. like he was sporty/good kid/but probably not stereotypically "manly" enough.


humor-wise: he likes stuff like flight of the conchords.

i don't know what we are relations-wise.

[olduser]

I have a question. Suppose someone he doesn't see as an authority figure(your mom and dad, for instance) questions him and lectures him about his money habits-- Will he react agressively?

To be honest- he sounds like an INFp/ESTp. All the people of these types i've known have had a lot of trouble with money.

[implied]

I have a question. Suppose someone he doesn't see as an authority figure(your mom and dad, for instance) questions him and lectures him about his money habits-- Will he react agressively?

To be honest- he sounds like an INFp/ESTp. All the people of these types i've known have had a lot of trouble with money.

i tend to think of him as beta, too.

he has a hard time taking criticism on this sort of thing. i think i actually confronted him about his huge lack of work/how he generally tries to get out of work a lot and it didn't go over very well at all (i don't think of myself as an authority figure in these matters.) so he's sensitive to that sort of criticism. ( polr? not sure.) he wouldn't react aggressively.

and i don't know what this says about my dad's type, but he is convinced (and in some ways, probably right) that my brother is probably going to try to take whatever i inherit from him (like via my mom & her total bendiness about this sort of thing, which is just as frustrating to me.)

[implied]

i also think we could have one of those generally "strained" relationships, functionally, although not nearly as volatile/explosive as the one between my dad and my brother. like i stop doing whatever it is that i do around him because he doesn't generally like whatever it is that i do naturally, and it's always really obvious that he doesn't like it.

[Expat]

Perhaps he's INFp himself, but a few things are odd -- perhaps ENTp.

What I saw was an irrational Alpha or Beta, and probably intuitive, hence ENTp or INFp.

[implied]

Perhaps he's INFp himself, but a few things are odd -- perhaps ENTp.

What I saw was an irrational Alpha or Beta, and probably intuitive, hence ENTp or INFp.

the thing i could see as ENTp with him is what i read about ENTps liking familiarity in communication but not going for it first.

Liberty of communication. He likes familiarity in communication, however, does not show initiative in this, but awaits it from others.

in front of new people, or any of my friends, he is really shy and almost puts a wall around himself. he'll act really anti-social, far beyond whatever sort of shyness/awkwardness i can experience. it's hard to explain.

[vague]

Most of the description indicates or poLR. I'd eliminate ESTp because withdrawing in situations of aggression/arguments does not sound . The inattentiveness to diet and appearance does not indicate in the ego block, so I agree with Expat. ENTp or INFp.

[aestrivex]

Ep definitely seems to be the case. I would say ENTp is a reasonable suggestion.

[implied]

i think ENTp could work. he is surprisingly very conflict averse and i don't think i've ever seen him yell/get pissed except once when he forgot to pay an electric bill and the power was cut off. on the other hand, my dad can be amazingly quarrelsome. this is generally where the fights between them begin.

then it's his subconscious functions that freak me out. he has a heavy attraction to all things and that i do not understand.

[implied]

i'm thinking actually INTj/ENTp now works really well, although he comes off as an irrational more than a rational, i agree.


for example, interactions between my dad and my brother go like this:

dad asks my half-brother (his step-son) to do some little errand or help him out with something at the office (my brother worked there for a while.) my dad gives my brother some order, my brother doesn't take well to orders/aggression (like any alpha NT, i suppose.) he doesn't mention that this pisses him off, either. he also seems to have completely absent (like vague pointed out, not participating in arguments, trying not to fight with aggressive people when he would fare much better with my dad if he would just yell right back. i can be just as argumentative as my dad, but generally i'm not. ha.) my dad generally seems to hate my brother's lack of goalsiness/manliness/ability to do anything with his life and his general negligence and light/airy attitude towards work/school/etc or anything he is not interested in. e.g. his preference for and .

my dad also gets irritable if he can't "see" or have some concrete evidence that my brother is working. this is rather hard if you're working at a computer, but hell, it's not so hard to print things out/explain things.

my brother is very aware of (and points out) little inconsistencies in my dad's life stories. i always figured my dad did this sort of thing to make it more interesting (like an ISFp is described. he does not like instability in any form/fashion. reacts aggressively to comments that aren't really meant to insult. can get slightly teary-eyed in a heartbeat, but holds it in. loves to sing. romance-er. has a ton of unfinished projects. sometimes tries to keep me away from bad men (like my ex, "you don't need that. that man handles his emotions like a business.") i don't know. he's a lot like the dad in "big fish.")