I am sick and tired of being alone. I like being alone but now that it has become all I am I 'm starting not to like it any more. I persistently push everyone away from me and I don't have the abillity to control this natural urge of mine. I can envison "compromise" as a sort of helping tool in overcoming/improving my situation but there's nothing I can (want to?) do to change my totally uncompromising attitude and style of behavior. Thinking about it, there 's almost no point of turning back to someone I 've already pushed away and I don't see any point in getting to know someone else because it is proven by experience that it will eventually, if not right away, end the same way. But I have somehow become bothered by the fact that I have no one to speak to, no one to hang out with, no one to do stuff with, no one to create memories with, no one to love. And there's absolutely no one I can trust and I have gotten rid of the need to confide a long time ago. But something tells me this is not the way to go. I need a change in my life. I need someone.
(Well, however pathetic it might sound, it 's true.)