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Thread: Frustrations with descriptions of IEEs-ENFps

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    Default Frustrations with descriptions of IEEs-ENFps

    so are any other enfp's out there who get frustrated by most of the type descriptions out there? i read most of them and think to myself "damn, they almost got it, but they were wrong just a bit in the motivation"

    so... since im here and im bored, im going to attemt to correct some of the things that have particularly bugged me about type descriptions ive read in the past, please give me some feedback if u agree or disagree

    1. every type description ive read says something to the effect that we like to experiment with other peoples lives, while i can see how someone could perceive me doing that, its really not the way it goes. we never mean to send people into a situation where they would be uncomfortable, or to use someone else against their will. most of the time i think what people perceive as an experiment is simply our way of getting to know the person better. im really attuned to body language/facial expression and people often say i can read them like a book. the only reason i can do that is observation, i cant walk up to someone and know everything about them, but after twenty minutes of watching them talk to someone or talking to them myself i will have a mental catalague of how they react to things, usually this is done unconciously but it still happens. i think that what some people perceive as experimenting is just this process of observing a person.

    2. the celebrity thing is another thing that i think needs to be cleared up. first off, i think celebrity is the wrong word. i think people get caught up w/ celebrity and think only famous people count. i think more what we do is that we like to know people who have done amazing things, for example, i have a friend in a band, and if he's playing a party, everyone in that party that i care about will know that he is my friend because i want to be associated with him. we're really concerned with how people see us and so we get an advantage by knowing someone popular.

    3. this is aobut the relationship thing, people say we bounce back really quickly after breakups. i think this is because we dont get sad around people very often, if we're around people is going to be fun, cuz people are fun, and thats the way it is. when we're alone we are completely different, i think the problem is that nobody will ever see us like that because a switch goes off in our head when people are around

    anyways, im getting bored, so im off to do better things, maybe i'll finish this later or something, give me some feedback if u agree or disagree

    peace
    Last edited by silke; 03-16-2014 at 08:02 AM. Reason: edited out spam link

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    meatburger's Avatar
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    Hey.. I will just write a quick reply as i have to go out. Im not particularly upset with the ENFp descriptions. I dont think anyone really cares except for us anyway

    1. I never experiment with people to put them in weird situations etc. I do the same as you, watch people and learn what makes them tick. Actually now that i think about it occasionally i will do something a little crazy in a social situation to see what my friends do but its pretty rare. Maybe the other subtype dos this more.

    2. I like how you said anyone who has done anything amazing. I am also drawn to people like this. I want to get inspiration from them, learn what it is inside them that has made them successful. For this reason i would love to be in the celebrity circuit just to meet the interesting personalities.

    3. This is the only point i dont totally agree. We do generally put our best foot forward and dont show how down we are to others. I think you will find that we truly are good at getting over relationships. I am anyway. We generally have a well developed perspective on things. We say, well we both hurt each other, she was in pain, so was i, but after not too long we say. Well their ok and so am i. Then we realise how many possiblities the world really holds and move on.

    One of our most powerful abilities is our ability to change / adapt our thoughts. We rarely get stuck in negative thinking for long as there is always a way out of it

    That being said the relationships i have had haven't been that compatible. If i lost a dual or something it could be a very different story.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

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    I agree with meatburger. If I were asked after a breakup, I'd say I don't bounce back well. However, looking back and seeing how other people handle breakups, I bounced back faster and more easily than most. I met my husband two weeks after breaking up with someone else, and as I recall I was fairly well over that guy by that point. Some people have a really hard time and go into like deep depressions after a breakup. I think I generally felt terribly bad for maybe a week or so and then it started to get better. I'd start noticing other guys and wondering how things would be with them pretty quickly. Maybe it's partially the Ne - seeing other possibilities, and partially the fact that we hold onto relationships way too long so things are pretty ugly by the time we break up and there's some level of relief.

    In comparison, my husband went into a huge long depression after he broke up with this girl he was living with. I mean for like a year or something. I think if there's a type that's misunderstood it's ISTps. People see them as kind of emotionless and I don't see them that way at all. I think they have lots of emotions in them but feel an obligation to not show them and they try to push them out of the way, and that can cause them some trouble.
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    I don't usually mope around people but they always say I'm a quiet guy and I walked around for many years thinking I was introverted until I realised I was ENFp. How do you explain this?

    And yeah I like the popularity and the idea of being held in the limelight of other people's eyes.

    And also I won't be playing around with other people, I'll only go as far as to see their reaction, not to make them uncomfortable or anything.

    I get depressed after rejections or after realising that I've been chasing after an impossible relationship.
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    meatburger's Avatar
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    ENFp's are said to be the most introverted of the extraverted types. This weekend i went out a great deal. I went to social events that are a little out of the ordinary with people that i dont really know well. The first party last night i was in form, very cheerful. I met an old friend whos Father passed away 2 months ago and i tried incredibly hard to make him happy and make the party fun.

    At the other get together today i was very drained not particulary talkative / happy.

    I got a POLR slap from the ESTj who's party it was. It was an Xbox party and he asked me to hire an xbox game to bring. I asked the woman at the store and she said she had it and she gave it to me. Unfortunately i hired a ps2 game instead lol. In my own world i didn't even look at the box / think about it. So i got to the party and he looked at the game and payed me out in front of the 12 people at the party. He brought it up a few more times so basically i just couldn't recover. I already felt bad that i had fucked up but it was also quite embarrasing. So i kind of went all quiet. I would have hit him back in his POLR but unfortunately to me is invunerable.

    Anyway i suppose what im trying to say is if i get over stimulation with people without the chance to process it i become quite flat.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

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    i would have announced the matter to everyone, and then put the game in the xbox and said, "oh my god, it's spinning up, everyone, look here, we got a game courtesy meatburger, it's a good one! it's loading now!"

    just kidding, but that would be ridiculously cruel and almost funny-- you know, if it happened to someone on tv.
    asd

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    lol yeah
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - Anaïs Nin

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    My 2 cts.

    1. If you say something that's just a little controversial, in a "I'm just joking" kind of way, it gets people out of their dugouts, it prods them a little and they end up saying authentic, interesting things. That makes it more fun for everybody. We've got enough beigeness and boredom in this world as it is. If I offend someone I back down immediately and apologize.
    Another thing that could be seen as a "social experiment": If I find out a life hack, I'll enthuse about it to other people... in the past I sometimes forgot to add that it's the potential I'm excited about, not the actual reality... because maybe I haven't even tried it out yet.

    2. "Celebrity" isn't the right term. It's interesting, exciting people, or people with potential. Fame itself is exciting, so there is probably an element of star-struck name-dropping there. But it's secondary to the other thing. I've seen several celebrities and it's just one I got excited about. I was on the same plane with Montserrat Caballé!!

    3. The bouncing back - I'll agree with Slacker Mum. I haven't had that many romantic relationships, so I don't know. The one break-up I had, the guy was such an asshole at the end that it was super easy to move on. That relationship was like a trip in a submarine. You kind of get used to it, but once you're back in the sunlight and realize that THIS is what fresh air actually smells like, you wonder how you could endure it for so long. -- I've had a good friendship end, though, 5 years ago, and I'm still not "over it". So, not sure. I'll say that we're quick to see the good potential of single life, we're optimists, so it's easy to just "bounce back" in the sense of standing on one's own feet and looking towards the future. But if people disappoint you... doesn't it take long to get over that?

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    ENFp's are said to be the most introverted of the extraverted types. This weekend i went out a great deal. I went to social events that are a little out of the ordinary with people that i dont really know well. The first party last night i was in form, very cheerful. I met an old friend whos Father passed away 2 months ago and i tried incredibly hard to make him happy and make the party fun.
    this really interests me because when i think about it the best parties ive been to are when someone i know is feeling a little down... would it be fair to say that we get along best at parties if someone else is feeling down and we try to make them feel better, therefore making the party more fun for everyone?

    the breakup thing might be more a personal experience depending on how it went, i know ive had some really rough breakups in the past where it bothers me for a long time, and some where im fine after about 2 hours... maybe it just depends on the situation, my main point was that we dont like to be sad in front of others because we are so concerned with how people perceive us. does that sound a little better to people?
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    Best parties are the ones in which you don't know anybody!
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    Quote Originally Posted by meatburger
    I got a POLR slap from the ESTj who's party it was. It was an Xbox party and he asked me to hire an xbox game to bring. I asked the woman at the store and she said she had it and she gave it to me. Unfortunately i hired a ps2 game instead lol. In my own world i didn't even look at the box / think about it. So i got to the party and he looked at the game and payed me out in front of the 12 people at the party. He brought it up a few more times so basically i just couldn't recover. I already felt bad that i had fucked up but it was also quite embarrasing. So i kind of went all quiet. I would have hit him back in his POLR but unfortunately to me is invunerable.
    So, does Hire mean to Rent? I've never heard that, i'm guessing it's an Aussie thing? cool.

    so, another question... say you rent an apartment, is the word "hire" still used?

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    my turn...

    1. I tend to be able to "read" people fairly quickly and alot of times I will say things that I have picked up on. For example, if I am in a social setting, and I watch people pick up on body language and facial expression tone of voice and then pull that person aside and say something like "So how long have you liked whomever.." or something to that effect. the reaction is usually "how did you know???" I like that. I dont really call it a social experiment, like someone said before...it's just basically in my nature to be observant. The fact that sometimes I say what I am thinking to get a reaction I suppose is the part that confuses it.

    Yeah It's not celebrities we're concerned with. I'd say it's anyone that has acheieved something great or relatively great. I think mostly because this is excitement we seek. I would never seek out someone that just rearranged their sock drawer, how exciting is that? BUt someone that's just published a book and sold 5 copies, yes. lol These type of people I admire the more you are associated with admirable people the more you are motivated to do great things. THUS becoming one of the admired. (Which is why I like hanging with INTj's all of the one's i know which are 2, are rocket scientists...but thats another story)

    3. I think there's a difference between bouning back and actually getting over that person. in reality, the type descriptions are right, we don't take rejection well. SO I think if we mope for extended periods it's more to dwell over the fact that we couldnt make it work. At least in my case, it's not "Oh I miss this person" It's more "Oh, why didn't it work? WHat went wrong?" and i will think about things that could have been said differently...etc. So, I think I can "get over someone" pretty quickly and start thinking about the next guy...but to bounce back from the situation as a whole, I tend to dwell a bit.

    I got a POLR slap from the ESTj who's party it was. It was an Xbox party and he asked me to hire an xbox game to bring. I asked the woman at the store and she said she had it and she gave it to me. Unfortunately i hired a ps2 game instead lol. In my own world i didn't even look at the box / think about it. So i got to the party and he looked at the game and payed me out in front of the 12 people at the party. He brought it up a few more times so basically i just couldn't recover. I already felt bad that i had fucked up but it was also quite embarrasing. So i kind of went all quiet. I would have hit him back in his POLR but unfortunately to me is invunerable
    This is funny I have an ESTj friend that frequently comes up with things like MOvie night, Gaming Night, State Fair Night....etc, etc. he is quite the systematic organizerof events. I remember when we first started college, he planned the semester in which he would get a girlfriend and how he would approach the mystery woman. I thought he was strange. Although, if i messed up like that I dont think he would freak that way. He'd be disappointed though.
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    Quote Originally Posted by duntee
    SO I think if we mope for extended periods it's more to dwell over the fact that we couldnt make it work. At least in my case, it's not "Oh I miss this person" It's more "Oh, why didn't it work? WHat went wrong?" and i will think about things that could have been said differently...etc. So, I think I can "get over someone" pretty quickly and start thinking about the next guy...but to bounce back from the situation as a whole, I tend to dwell a bit.
    I'll agree with that! I would get over guys pretty quickly but I still wonder why some relationships didn't work out - like what went wrong.
    It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
    -Mark Twain


    You can't wake a person who is pretending to be asleep.

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    Quote Originally Posted by duntee
    Yeah It's not celebrities we're concerned with. I'd say it's anyone that has acheieved something great or relatively great. I think mostly because this is excitement we seek.
    Yes - and anything that's unusual and out of the ordinary is interesting; and interesting things are good in themselves. When it has the added benefits of having great potential, then - wow. Plus it's got to have something authentic about it. No fakes. We're drawn to all that like bees to honey, would be my guess.

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