Trapped By a "Caring" Si-Ego Type

[Lord Pixel]

you say "yes I get what you're saying but I want to try it like this."

Yes, well that much is obvious, but it doesn't work.

[Finaplex]

Will return to this thread.

[MrsTortilla]

Yes I understand what you are saying and yes I have seen this tendency with ESEs. No, the person in mind is clearly, without a doubt not a ESE. There is no Fe. Although he is expressive, he is as dry as a box of cereal and I would find the choice of career, a professional tree faller and life long hand faller, as something a strong Fe type would not choose to do. Not for this reason alone do I not type him ESE.

Boundaries isn't enterilly the issue, its more about controlling the moment by moment events in an effort to reach out and make it easier for me, which I can see is something he does for people in general, but came up to a person who doesn't require it. Things have improved, talking about it here helped and also just accepting it on my end also helped. Now that we are more comfortable around each other I will be able to take total control of my own tasks without causing any "toes being stepped on".

Caregivers are somewhat all dense in this sense to varying degrees.

I was also going to say, This person sounds like an ESE, not an LSE, simply because what you describe is so exactly how my ESE mother-in-law treats me!!! I HATE IT. If I had to share a room with her I’d tear my hair out. She also loves to smoke pot. The similarities are weird. But then you say no chance of being ESE... I wish I knew what to suggest with an Si creative who is controlling/caregiving in this way but nothing I’ve tried with my MIL has ever worked....

[Finaplex]

Already late for work-> needs to get speciel oil from shell ONLY.

[Beautiful sky]

Already late for work-> needs to get speciel oil from shell ONLY.

Lol
Don’t worry just provide support and let them do as they want. Say “hahaha”

[Default]

This seems like a pretty straightforward problem- just tell him. I don’t think it’s really going to offend him if you say it tactfully, and if it does, well, that’s on him.

[Finaplex]

Will return to this thread like I said. Long story short: not my dual. If I type in here I might fall into a negative state of mind and I have to pick my battles for a temp amount of time.

[Beautiful sky]

Will return to this thread like I said. Long story short: not my dual. If I type in here I might fall into a negative state of mind and I have to pick my battles for a temp amount of time.

Yes lol he doesn’t sound like your dual

[timber]

Oh God this thread.

This was like 5 years ago and I was a slightly different guy back then. I needed help with some Te, which I was clear about. But when it gets combined with Si, it caused headaches for me back then.

I better able to cope with it nowadays, probably because I have greater independence and control over my career.

[timber]

The behaviour described in the OP is not really Si but Te, specifically what I've seen in LSE.

They often use their Si + demo Se to enforce their spacial "Te order" and when they "take care" of something for you it's often because they think they are "better" at it than you.

Absolutely.

I don't particularly enjoy it, I value sensing way above thinking in a person, so I prefer Sensing dominants(I actually like how SEE 'pushes' me to act, it feels more 'reassuring' than the whims of LSE). I'm not fond of people getting their hands on me by manipulatively imposing their arbitrary "logical-sensory order"(SEE always is upfront when I need to push myself so it doesn't feel manipulative). It's the same issue I have with LSI actually, only that quadra values clash with them contrary to LSEs.

I know a IEE older woman who is driven nuts by her LSE landlord that has this power dynamic over her. In her eyes, he is a "arrogant controlling asshole". I think its hilarious as mostly his complaints are just about her bad house keeping and upkeep. I mean, I guess it does make people mad when you treat your home like a garbage dump. lol, sorry not saying all IEE are like this, this particular one is certifiably pathological.

The dependency part is again about Si-creative. Here an excerpt from the ILE-ESE activation relationship that corresponds to what I've experienced with Si creatives too:



"I've cared for you, now you obey" is ESE and LSE talk.

OFC, this is how they become magnanimous mommy and daddies.