Type me please!
Hey, on MBTI I've often been tested as INTP, but had a big trouble about considering to be a INFP, on socionics on tests I've been often typed as INTj, altough I'm not as cool headed and meticulous on everyday basis the way is mentioned on the descriptions, the best descriptions that matches my personality are Ne-ILE and Ne-EII.
English is not my primal language, sorry for any mistakes.
Tell me about yourself: I'm a 24yo male from Brazil, in my childhood I often had trouble with my brother, who's 7yo older than me and he was very intolerant, explosive and volatile, beating me when whenever he had the oportunity to find a reason. My mom died when I was 2 and he was 9, probably that affected him in some way to "justifiy" those behaviours but before that happened he was already volatile and agressive. As a kid I was more easygoing than him, pursuing what was funny, but I think my interactions with my brother filled my soul with anger and intolerancy (yeah, probably there's a biological heritage behaviour too, but it was at least potencialized), then I treated my colleagues in school the way the treated me, intolerant with kids I didn't like and also being a bully, but with my other friends I was really different, easygoing, seeking fun, etc. Okay, I didn't really worried about those issues until I was like 18yo, I just wanted to date nice girls, smooke weed and have fun, listen to music (I thought thrash metal was the only genre worthy respect, lol, probably heritage from my brother ideals, I saw him as an example, he is smart and I never had a lot of common interests with my dad, he is a SEI, only carnig for things I considered, or was teached to conside, futile. Now I'm more open-minded about it, but the issues now are mainly sensor vs intuitive interests. Me and my brother are way more similar to our mom than our father. My mom's family was marked by beta aspects, with an uncle being wanted in the military dictatorship because he was part of the communist party, my brother sees it as a hero, I don't give a damn to be proud about it, those are just excuses to buy a party that makes part of a whole that we probably have no clue (maybe later I'll talk more about it in a Nietzschean perspective of morals.). Okay, in school I was really lazy and bored, the class that I had interest was philosophy, in math I was ease but bored, my teachers opinions was that I had potential in hard sciences, I had interest on quantum mechanics and general relativity, but after I joined electric engineering grad I realized that I like the concepts and principles instead of the mathematical methodological development, one thing that I'm really interested for example, is how einstein got the general relativity, how he saw a particle (or whatever) move back in time through mental imagery, since I was a kid I had an attraction to him, his way of thinking. Okay, I failed on engineering, was really bored and uninterested, then I studied ethics as a basic grade, that showed me another potential, not necessairly about ethics but by formal logic too, at the same time I was fascinated by hannibal serie's dialogues and discovered jung and MBTI (3 or 4 years ago), in the next semester I joined psychology (philosophy was and is still my wonder, but I'll pursue it professionaly when I have more economic freedom, now I do it as a hobbie. On psychology what interests me are mainly social psychology and psychology of ideologies, analytical psychology (Jung), philosophy of the mind, that I'll try to merge with philosophy fields like epistemology, philosophy of language and metaphysics, to get a theory of reality, to know what I possibly can about it, in one sense... Not like that will obviously happen, because I'm lazy, but it's just my ideal. Okay, it's too extense, I would write more but I'll look for the next questions first.
What are your values, and why? I never thought about it seriously, but I value knowledge, love, freedom, support, wisdom, good friends, inner peace (because I have very little), comfort (emotional and economic). In some point I could say that depends on my mood, but what I cited are the most static.
What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them? I read and watch a lot of videos on youtube, both for knowledge, about my intellectual interests, altough the reading I fell more like an obligation to getting to my intellectual ambitions, it's not that pleasurable because those are hard readings to grasp, the videos are complements and I also find some interesting novelties through them, but I have phases that I smoke too much weed and can't at least read because I'm high. I'm on a trading card game that has nice lores and complex gameplays (MTG, if someone knows...), I like it mainly because of what I just said, the lores has certain identities by colors. I identify more with blue, that's associated to qualities like knowledge curiosity, green that's associated to natural potential (what attracts me to this color isn't necessairly the nature like forests, but this principle of becoming, like natural selection, giving a chance to life's potential, not necessairly just lifes, but configurations of reality), and black, which is associated to pragmatism and ego, getting where you want by paying the fair price, it's amoral. Not that I have this black color lifestyle but I do identify with it in some way, maybe because it's thrash, with heavy and dark arts. My favorite combination of colors is blue and black because the lore is about some kind of secret society that operate through the depths changing the course of the world, the people don't really know if it exists or is a myth, pretty much like the iluminattis. I think it's the one I most identify because I kind of suspect about a hidden force that control us like morals by nietzsche, ideology by marx and the unconsciouss by freud (I had a LSD trip which induced me delirium and paranoia, that I'm controlled and tested by others, that my mind could be read, it's related to guilty, if I do something that makes me feel it I start to percieve the cosmos as having some kind of configuration that acts on my vulnerabilities, like guilty, not necessairly that there's literally a god with a beard on a cloud or a spy government agency, but that there's some kind of principle related to mental stability, which is influenced by guilty, pride, etc. And yes, I know there's the concept of objective reality, that it could be just my psyche appart from others and it can be contraditory in various aspects, one is that the way I described it sounds less obvious and my intellect accepts this conspirational idea better, but I dwelve too much on this and by knowing that human cultures teaches what it's members should seek, it gives me the hope to find something, which is also REALLY scary. I think two terms that could explain my paradox are psychonaut and cosmonaut. I know that my mind is an unhealty mess and I can fuck it up and drown myself into madness, but maybe I don't know THAT MUCH, but I really don't want to get to that state). I buyed a guitar (which I play since I'm a kid) but didn't give too much atention to it, my main goal was to create a sound that reflect those afflictions, but maybe with a more optimistic melody, or a conceptual story. I also like to listen to music, I'm most attracted recently to pink floyd and other bands on space and psychedelic rock.
What do you look for in friends? I always had trouble with friends, I have a few longrun friends but with large groups I've been always seen as out of the box and ridiculed, not that I show myself eccentric to them, it's really private, but I didn't earn too much respect. Now I met a few which shows themselves really nice, respectful and accepting, with common interests on ideas and I'm more mature (I think) to deal with them too, but I am still a few unsecure because of my past experiences. The longrun ones I can trust and have fun together.
What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis? Actually in my work with my boss wife, on political views, she is quite unsecure about her capabilities and have emotional problems too. We are very insistent in our views and it created a scuffle atmosphere, she takes offense easily and altough I can take offense easily (which is something I really try to overcome), my paranoia made me really sensitive with indirect words and I start to overinterpret everything, which destroys my mental peace. Now I just don't want to discuss politics anymore with her but stometimes when I give my opinion without the intention of attacking her, I don't know if she gets offended or attacked, but at least one she does. When she gives her, I wonder if that's an attack, but I prefer to consider if I agree or not with her, seeking the truth. With my girlfriend the conflicts are that I'm too chilled out and she's systematic, she calls me irresponsible and lazy, I think she could be an LSE or SLI and my boss wife SEE.
How would your friends describe you? Nice, oblivious, out of the box, I think. I try to always treat people well.
What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself? My weakness are that I'm unpractical and I lack of energy to do what isn't of my interest, I can't deal well with people too. The main criticisms are mainly about what I just cited and people see me as too disconnected from reality. What I dislike about myself is the emotional attractions that I have when I want to reach a impartial conclusion at least when I want to, I must be the most wary possible, I think I can be vulnerable to be attached to a lie that I could prevent.
In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? My thinking, I guess... at least it's what I most invested. My emotional life was neglected (maybe because of my past experiences) and I started to pay attention to it recently and didn't realize it's such messy snowball, now I know there's a lot of things to do, I think I repressed it a lot, I just considered my emotions when I was having fun or angry and my intentions about relationships.
What things do you find to be a chore? What things do you enjoy more than others? I think I enjoy more than the others to seek the depths of reality, at least with people I know, people I know often say that there's no reason to think about it. I want to know, to the core, which axioms constitute our reality and how questionable they are (almos solipsistic, whic my delirium on that LSD trip induced me too).
What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future? How did you come to have them? First I'll tell about my relationships, then I'll paste a project that I wrote on reddit for typing myself (my question was if I'm a Ne or Ni dom, the person said that's Ne and I sound like an EII with role Ti on board), but I had opinion of just one person and that's why I'm here. I want to have a life with my girlfriend (which I want to marry), travelling, seeking new experiences, kids maybe, a ordinary family from our society... I don't really plan it, I grew up with this formula and I accept it well, but when I immerse to it I'm sure I'll find more reasons. The other plan is more sophisticated, not that I'll truly follow it through, but if I do, It will orbitate this Idea:
"I'm interested in what is reality by how we percieve it, which conclusion we can have by breaking it's implications, it's very philosophical.
Now I just play with concepts because most of them I don't have the necessary understanding, but it's Descartes daimons and Black mirror: bandersnatch alike (the lsd trip dialogue), also westworld's iconic (at least for me) quote "have you ever questioned the nature of your reality?", I think It could be the essence of my problem.
I start with solipsism, or p-zombies, and how reality is percieved by axioms, how the rules we accept without questioning (or accept after questioning) makes up reality, If Descartes isn't skeptical about the world he lives, It could be a world of automatas and he'd be far away from noticing it. trumann show is pretty the same subject.
It has a lot of other implications (I guess, I didn't thought about all of them yet), but Just accepting (for the sake of the example) that there's objective space and proprieties, what's the role of language? Not just the spoken one, but the language of the brain, it's how something (reality) is processed by something (the brain), or how some kind of info is converted in another kind of info, what's the essence of the info? Are those infos the same? I didn't want to state the subjects because of the doubt of objective space and proprieties, but as "we" accepted It for the sake of the example..
I have a good personal example about It: When In was a kid, I imagined that when I cared my dog, in her reality that could be painful instead of pleasurable, like I could be literally beating her and I felt bad about it, "poor dog, I don't want to make her suffer".
Also I think it's related with the Idea of god, I always wondered about It and recently I think it's more about the paradoxical problem that the feeling of longevity, which now I think It would be really interesting but scary in the same intensity.
I know my Ideas can be REALLY CONTRADITORY but I waste my time wondering instead of putting my reasoning together."
NOTE: this cosmical thing isn't necessairly what I think I'll find, but this suspicion thing is truly an inspiration.
What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you? "Conviction" is the first word that came to my head, people full of themselves are annoying to me, of course there is more traits, but I just focused on that.
What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)? Mostly what has meaning to me, like books, I have some dark psychedelic arts which I didn't enframe yet but It would look really nice, a pleasant architecture... I don't often think about it because I live with my dad and he cares a lot about it, I have everything done, but If I move on I would probably pay more attention to it, not too much though.
How do you behave around strangers? I can keep small talk because I trained a lot in my job, but before that I behaved nervous, I still do, but it depends on the person and it's more subtle now.
How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you? I don't like it when it's a war climate, I prefer to keep the peace but I can be temperamental if It's too punchy. It depends on which insults or attacks, but I'll probably argue and deffend myself, seeking resolution probably, maybe I could not give in if I don't agree with it.
What did you do last Friday? I was with my gf, don't remember if in my or her house...
What is your biggest accomplishment? My cumulated knowledge and relationships that are still alive.
What is something you regret? That LSD trip
Who do you admire, and why? Mainly historical people that changed the way we perceive the reality.
What are your religious or spiritual beliefs and why do you hold them? Ok, I grew up on a spiritist family, when I was 16 yo I turned to that stereotypical atheist teenager, but still really interested in the philosophical idea of god. I cited it before on my "project". The different concepts of god, the paradox, but since then I orbitate agnostic and pantheistic ideas. Jungian's concept on sinchronicity is something I get into.
What kind of work environment do you prefer? What do you look for in a job? My job is an environment I like, I talk a lot with my colleagues and it's not rigid. But I imagine myself teaching on university and researching. I think teaching would help me a lot to think and have insights, like teaching myself too at the same time.
How do you approach responsibility? What do you tend to expect of others? I'm not pushy to others, I just expect them to do what they say or what they answer when I ask. I tend to be responsible just to vital things, like job, or about what I care a lot, like girlfriend, but as I get more freedom, I chill more.
What was your high school experience like? Lazy, with a few friends, just wanting to leave it.
Do you like kids? Why or why not? I always find them most of them annoying, but now I do find them cute. I like to see the most "shallow table" on them, what is most natural and how it compares to adults, I like to compare humans to monkeys too, I find them really fascinating. I have much contact with my boss son, he's 4 yo and he is funny and cute, I like to play with him but I can get bored easily.
If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why? Dude, I don't want to formulate too much on this, but the psychological teaching that I didn't have, my dad was always like "go to school, do your homework, don't use drugs, go to college". He isn't rigid, he is really aprehensive, but that was his childhood and that's all that he knows. Like I said on the first answer, we kind of never spoke the same language.
Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it. Yeah, I didn't work a lot of my life and I fullfilled most of my time playing on my PC, I look for a lot of distractions to don't get bored.
How do you see other people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one. Ideology, culture, we are dogs chasing motorcycles. Who's driving the motorcycle? I don't know. Does the driver knows he's driving it? I don't know neither. Is the motorcycle an appearance? Probably. Can the motorcycle be just the dog's tail? It's a possibility.
Are you comfortable taking leadership roles? In what areas? Why or why not? No. I didn't discarded the possibility yet, but it might be really hard. I imagined on research.
Is there anything else important about you that we should know?
I didn't mentioned that I'm a little vain, I care about my appearance, close to skating lifestyle. I want to make a good impression to people and still I kind of show an aspect about my self on prints, etc.
I didn't spoke too much about practical management, finances, etc. If I need to, I can manage it well, but I have little energy to it. On factual information, I can use it to support my arguments, but I prefer much more the theory and principles.
Thank you guys, hope you can help me!
Reply With Quote
- 
(as per tcaudilllg)
Originally Posted by tpaduan
PYJEiXmI&t=
