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Thread: Competition/Jealousy in Relationships...

  1. #41
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    I donít think I could be in a relationship with someone who didnít get jealous. I wouldnít feel like they cared about me enough. Maybe thatís weird, but itís who I am, I have preferences, and Iím not/canít change them.

    I was thinking, most people I know get jealous, at least a little, but they have different ways of dealing with them. Some donít wear their jealousy on their sleeve. An ESE I know has cheated to get back, an SLI has tried ignoring the whole situation and started heading towards alcoholism, a SEE I know went out partying and started acting like they were 18 again. An LSE I know cuts off said person and refuses to talk to them for a long time. I generally donít say anything and sink into depression at not being enough until I realize I have to become better and itís the only way I can deal with it all. There are some people I know that donít get that jealous. I know a LIE that doesnít get jealous in relationships, but gets jealous of the things other people have, or their success.



    I donít like it when people donít trust me either, and itís made me want to trust others more.
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  2. #42
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    I do not find jelousy to be a constructive feeling. Being myself, I have lots of male pals, so if I do not do anything with them, I must assume it can be the same for the person I am with. Jelous partner would make my life harder and prevent me from achieving what I want to achieve which is expanding my social circle all the time, filling it with new possibilities for fun.

    When I get jelous (rarely but it happens), then it gets serious. I make sure the other person has no idea and suspects nothing and then I go all SWAT on them gathering necessary evidence. I do not want to torment myself with all the crazy and toxic feelings, so I tend to resolve the matter as quickly as possible - I wanna know, not suspect.
    I posted my sociotype so you can argue with it if you disagree.

  3. #43

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    Quote Originally Posted by EvilTomatoe View Post
    When I get jelous (rarely but it happens), then it gets serious. I make sure the other person has no idea and suspects nothing and then I go all SWAT on them gathering necessary evidence. I do not want to torment myself with all the crazy and toxic feelings, so I tend to resolve the matter as quickly as possible - I wanna know, not suspect.
    This does not sound healthy.

    If you are with someone and you have trust issues to that extent towards that person, the relationship just should not be.


  4. #44
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    I feel like it's a negative vs. positive loop

    If it is someone I trust very easily, I likely shouldn't get jealous that easily to begin with. And even if I did, it should be able to be resolved pretty quickly as well. However, if it were someone I wasn't compatible with, well you can imagine it can go in a very negative cycle too, potentially.

    I think I very much prefer something passionate though stable and trusting, if that makes sense. I don't think I would thrive or be happy in an unstable dynamic.

    I don't find jealousy "attractive" or "not attractive"; it's neither for me. It's just a really painful feeling for me personally that I would hope I would never have (or barely ever!) in an ideal relationship where I would feel happy and safe.

  5. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ave View Post
    This does not sound healthy.

    If you are with someone and you have trust issues to that extent towards that person, the relationship just should not be.
    He was banging someone on the side, but I am the one with the ISSUES
    I posted my sociotype so you can argue with it if you disagree.

  6. #46

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    Quote Originally Posted by EvilTomatoe View Post
    He was banging someone on the side, but I am the one with the ISSUES
    My point is: if you suspect he is banging someone on the side, it shows misturst in the relationship, whether this misturst is justified or not.

    A healthy relationship implies trust, once trust is not there, the relationship is fucked.

    Imagine if he had not been banging someone on the side. The invasion of privacy you describe is enough to ruin the relationship and make it unhealthy regardless.

    I am not trying to place blame, btw. I don't know who's guilty of what, or even what specific situation you are talking about.

    If you suspect he's cheating, then break it off, no need to invade others' privacy.


  7. #47

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    Also, that moment when LIE gives IEE advice about healthy relationships.


  8. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ave View Post
    My point is: if you suspect he is banging someone on the side, it shows misturst in the relationship, whether this misturst is justified or not.

    A healthy relationship implies trust, once trust is not there, the relationship is fucked.

    Imagine if he had not been banging someone on the side. The invasion of privacy you describe is enough to ruin the relationship and make it unhealthy.

    I am not trying to place blame, btw. I don't know who's guilty of what, or even what specific situation you are talking about.

    If you suspect he's cheating, then break it off, no need to invade others' privacy.
    Well, if there was trust between us for many years (I am not prone to jelousy) and suddenly, without an apparent reason I get extremaly suspicious and worried, then something is up, don't you think? My intuition tells me something is wrong and it is not just a random occurence.

    Let's get real for a second Breaking the relationship because you got suspicious is not a very strong reason to break up. He would ask why and I would tell him why. Then he would try to smooth talk me, convincing me it is stupid, and that I am paranoid, and that we should stay together. I would believe him, because people want to believe that everything is fine and shit like this. Then he would be more careful and the entire charade would last for way too long. I would waste tons of time and I would be a loser in this situation, only because the other scenario is "iNvaSiOn Of PrIvAcY"
    I posted my sociotype so you can argue with it if you disagree.

  9. #49

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    You're missing my point, but ok.


  10. #50
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ave View Post
    You're missing my point, but ok.
    I guess I do, because the entire notion of "healthyness" you are trying to present sounds like utter bullshit. Miss me with this moral shit please.

    I am probably not an IEE, it is just one of the option. ILE is more probable.
    I posted my sociotype so you can argue with it if you disagree.

  11. #51

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    Women.


  12. #52
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    wOmEn
    I posted my sociotype so you can argue with it if you disagree.

  13. #53

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    Lol, there be a MaTuRiTy IsSuE here.


  14. #54
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    Said by the "women" guy Nevertheless, it's prolly true.
    I posted my sociotype so you can argue with it if you disagree.

  15. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Ave View Post
    My point is: if you suspect he is banging someone on the side, it shows misturst in the relationship, whether this misturst is justified or not.

    A healthy relationship implies trust, once trust is not there, the relationship is fucked.

    Imagine if he had not been banging someone on the side. The invasion of privacy you describe is enough to ruin the relationship and make it unhealthy regardless.

    I am not trying to place blame, btw. I don't know who's guilty of what, or even what specific situation you are talking about.

    If you suspect he's cheating, then break it off, no need to invade others' privacy.
    Her response was a normal one to being the victim of an unhealthy relationship and cheating partner. Yet you were the one calling her unhealthy, blaming all women, and then believing yourself to be giving advice.

    I see a trend here with you being a fucking piece of shit.

  16. #56

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  17. #57
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    Jealousy is just energy that needs directing. It's there as a fear of loss but it's still annoying af. The solution is simple though, just fuck. *heavy metal riff*
    "The society that separates its scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting by fools." ―Thucydides



  18. #58
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pano Lou View Post

    @Nocturne I love your avi. It's dark and mysterious, but still appealing to the eyes.
    Thanks!
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