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Thread: How do you express love/affection to others?

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    Atari's Avatar
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    Default How do you express love/affection to others?

    In romance, which things or in which way do you do to express love or affection to your partner?

    How love manifests in you?

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    I make fun of them a lot. I say stupid shit to get a reaction out of them, show them awful videos and memes, and I draw all over their stuff. My girlfriend finds it very charming.

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    Very blatantly, like "I love you and nothing you can say or do will sway me one bit." I decide whether or not I like someone very quickly, and my knee-jerk reactions to him in our first encounter are amazingly telling in terms of how well we will relate over the long haul. If I ever get a bad reaction to a guy, then I let him convince me otherwise through more interaction, I always have regretted it because my initial impression was the correct one.

    So I've learned to trust my gut instinct when it comes to guys, despite all the popular advice about "you don't really know if you love someone until getting to know them". I do know people, from the most basic physical traits. Every little movement and expression tells me a lot about who they are. You can't hide emotion from me, unless you are an impeccable actor. Even then, I will pick up on your baseline demeanor and learn to see when something is off in your emotional expression...My lead sensing picks up on a huge number of physical details, and I think...my unconscious intuition helps to piece the information together.

    I develop interest in someone fast and hard, when I like them. So my attitude is like, "I've made up my mind - I like you, and nothing you can do will stop me from liking you". I'm very passionate and have a really hard time holding back my feelings. I long so badly to make him feel the full force of my passion for him, so he sees himself through my eyes. I want him to feel adored, admired and proud, and to sit back and appreciate my expression of love.

    In terms of Si, I've never had a boyfriend who enjoyed my Si caregiving, but in my heart I long to touch him in a relaxing way...even when he doesn't need any comfort or soothing. I just want to make him feel relaxed and comfortable in his skin. I love to cuddle him all the time, as often as possible.
    I have no problem initiating sex. I want to have sex as often as possible with him. This is the main area where I can express my feelings for him, physically and emotionally. I hold onto him tightly and touch him as much as possible, like I must memorize every inch of his skin or else I will not be satisfied. I like to see him take in this attention and feel validated from it, like he glows with pride.

    Obviously if he has other needs from me, I will do my best to meet them too. Loving someone makes their happiness just as important as your own, and it makes caring for them to be incredibly satisfying.

    Also, I feel highly reluctant to pressure him into doing anything, or changing anything, when I love someone. Setting boundaries against something he's doing in our relationship is painful to me - not part of my dream relationship. I've learned to become a lot more assertive out of necessity, but ideally I wouldn't have to have a struggle of wills with him, at all. We'd both be in harmony with each other, as little conflict as possible. It's like my default attitude is to support all of his dreams and just let him be himself.

    So yeah, basically lots of 'in your face' emotional passion, cuddling, and (as much as possible without enabling negative behavior) unconditional acceptance. I'm not very complicated, lol!

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    I just end up finding a way to spend more of my time with them, I speak more candidly, I seek them out without the other person having to initiate anything, and I cut loose with the banter (both crude and shit-talking). I also get more physical--a lot of rough aggressive hugs. Direct earnest statements of affection have always made me trip over my own tongue and get extremely awkward.
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    I'm not into romance.

    I express love to my close friends by trying to spend time with them, or by sending them things, usually specially-made and with a reason behind it that may be based on a conversation we had two months ago that they forgot but I didn't.
    I also show love by prioritizing people. If a rank-3 friend and a rank-1 friend both want to talk to me, I can tell the rank-3 friend they've been superseded. And this system may seem rude, but I think most people do that. They just aren't conscious of a ranking system. But other things factor in too. I would pick a rank-3 friend who is usually busy over a rank-2 friend who's usually accessible.

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    If I like someone, I hang out with them / do stuff with them apart from other people. I don't really give signs of affection like holding hands and crap like that. I've had guys try to hold my hand before. It always gives a rather off feeling and makes it more difficult to walk. I will sometimes do sneaky erotic things in public just for the hell of it or because getting away with it is fun.

    It's rare for me to do anything more than hookups though. I've tried romance a few times and it was never all that appealing & always fucked up in the end. I just don't get attached to people emotionally. Maybe like once or twice in my lifetime, I've had a true crush. Mistakes, both of them.

    I feel like the impact of the experiences/situations I've had in themselves was more lasting/central in my mind than the people, even though they were part of the experience. Kind of an odd thing to say, and I'm not sure anyone will get it, but thought I'd say that.

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    I dont know. I don't express much affection. If I like someone I want to hang out with her and do things together, go to places. That is important for me.

    Maybe go on a picnic

    Intimacy of course. But intimacy is strangely impersonal in a way. Maybe it is the Si.

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    sex.
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    zero romance/affection if I'm honest, and I can almost tell how my parent's love life affected/is affecting mine. They were basically business partners lol. Not that I would want a partner to make money with, but more that I focus on mutual interest and conversation over the feely stuff. It's not like I'm turned off by it, It just requires alot of mental energy to force myself to express something towards a person.

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    I am shy but I actually put a lot of effort in and try different methods. I try to give them food and other gifts, am very physically affectionate, compliment them, try to make them laugh. I try to improve and add to their life any way that I can and make them happy.

    Recently, I also give them business advice lol.

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    The relatively serious feeling I understand by appearance of a compassion and its' developing. This may lead to the corresponding taking part in pair's life as a friend.
    If I like someone - I want to care, to be sincere.
    I tend to introject personal traits. Think and fell similarly, changes the perception of own self. More behave like feel the pair wants, what makes her to feel good.

    rather common, I suppose
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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