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Thread: Gammas and BDSM

  1. #81

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    Quote Originally Posted by Venus Rose View Post
    Yeah exhibitionism strikes me sx/so and voyeurism perhaps so/sx...
    from Jung's types point
    sexually provokative behavior mb related to Se valued. normative exhibitionism as too open and meanwhile some tasteless closes, at least
    also may correlate with P, Fe valuing which incline to chaotic sexual behavior

    exhibitionism in a clinical form should to have strong nontypes factor

    for Enneagram is a separate section. that typology is not even near to Jung's one in the basis. especially in its instincts subsection
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

  2. #82
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    Quote Originally Posted by Venus Rose View Post
    I’m really confused.
    I thought consensual non-consent was a thing? And that it wasn’t the same as harming someone or sexually violating them...?

    ...? Is it? https://arcaneadvice.com/all-lessons-a-z/consensual-non-consent-a-healthy-definition-for-ds
    I just saw your question.
    I don't know anything about bdsm. In any case, non consensual sex is rape by definition and is violence which means harming someone.

    Rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse can have different legal definitions. In general, rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse are forms of violence in which there is sexual contact without consent
    From here

  3. #83
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    Quote Originally Posted by BOT View Post
    I wonder why so many males fantasize about sexually offending females they like.
    I don't think I've ever fantasized about that. Maybe it's an Se PoLR thing (?)。

  4. #84
    the Lycanthrope Remiel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BOT View Post
    My sex impulse have never got me to fantasize about hurting someone I like. I've just fantasized about hurting ppl I've been truly angry at. I wonder why so many males fantasize about sexually offending females they like. Some have acted on that fantasies and impulse sadly. Most don't. In some cases they fantasize about the female enjoying it. I wonder if elements are related to it in any way.
    That's because you're not a sadist. It probably has a connection to excitement seeking. Also, sexual sadism is not a male thing, I know female sadists who engange in behaviour even I would consider extreme.
    "The society that separates its scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting by fools." ―Thucydides



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    Quote Originally Posted by Pano Lou View Post
    Being horny has a social instinct?
    Why do they call it horny anyway? I don't think people grow horns, unless we're talking a big hard ERECT COCK, sliding all over everything on its RAMPAGE for PLEASURE.

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    How do people take it seriously? Having to call someone sir and getting spanked for being "bad" just seems kind of silly.

  7. #87
    the Lycanthrope Remiel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dalek Caan View Post
    How do people take it seriously? Having to call someone sir and getting spanked for being "bad" just seems kind of silly.
    It doesn't have to be serious. It's supposed to be fun. Also, one does not have to pick the whole package, just the parts that you enjoy.
    "The society that separates its scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting by fools." ―Thucydides



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    BSDM seems like a natural phenomenon in a stoic society where emotion and sexual desires are suppressed. It seems rather infantile to me. My ex was into it after reading fifty shades of gay. I call it the "naughty mommy" syndrome. Suddenly, mommies all over the country were discovering their "naughty side". Everything less than BDSM was inferior, common, boring. Suddenly, they have unlocked the secrets in an "oppressive society". 'I'm not just a soccer mom, I'm a naughty slut who wants to suck your dick and get fucked until I bleed'. It is all really disturbing to me, but I understand how people want to experience rape without actually getting raped, or are they? Especially when they are safe in their suburban home. I mean if they really want they can go to the Congo and get raped like they never could've imagined.

    Eventually, as a society most will grow out of it and it will lose its allure as people will inevitably suffer the consequences of such a lifestyle.

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    the Lycanthrope Remiel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Nebula View Post
    My ex was into it after reading fifty shades of gay.
    Everyone that hopped on the bandwagon after that clusterfuck of a bookseries are not into it for realsies. They are just mainstream and they follow the stream like all dead fish do.
    "The society that separates its scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting by fools." ―Thucydides



  10. #90
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    I have a tentative theory about Gammas and BDSM. I'm not sure where this is going, but here is what I have noticed.

    In almost all of the BDSM porn that I've seen (and that's not much, because it doesn't interest me), it has always been an ILI or an LIE who was involved. The ESI's and SEE's seem to be on the set by accident.
    I think this is a facet of Victim behavior, in the sense that Victims want to be sure that their love object is paying attention to them. So if a Victim is tied up and unable to act, then the fact that someone else is acting upon them is reassuring. BDSM is weirdly representational of Victim or Infantile behavior, in this sense.

    In my dealings with LIE's and ILI's IRL, I don't see the BDSM thing so much at all, but I might lead a very limited life, IDK. I just don't see BDSM much at all IRL, not even a hint of it. Not with any types, TBH.

    What I do see in Gammas are issues of control.

    For example, for whatever reason, I refuse to put myself in any position where someone else controls me, and I've noticed this proclivity in many (not all) LIE's.

    On the other hand, I know a lot of ILI's and almost all of them are control freaks. Maybe closet control freaks, but if you look, and you generally don't have to look very far, you will find that they are obsessed with controlling things, schedules, people, etc. And I mean obsessed.

    I actually attribute this feature to them having SEE's as duals. SEE's tend to just fly off in any direction that moves them at the moment, much to their detriment and eventual dissipation. ILI's manage that tendency in SEE's. But they tend to control SEE's from behind the scene. In fact, ILI's want to be the "Power behind the Throne", constantly whispering into the SEE's ear what they should do.

    This role of being in "control" of a relationship by forcing the other person into a given path of actions while simultaneously appearing to take no overt actions feeds perfectly into the BDSM dynamic.

    If we were to expand this idea to apply it to other quadras, then you'd expect the introverted (not overtly active but still desirous of control) Victim or Infantile to be more inclined towards BDSM. That would apply to the LII, the IEI, the ILI, and the EII.

    *EDIT*
    I started writing this post before @Venus Rose posted, but I see that her post doesn't contradict mine.

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    My guess is that BDSM might have something to do with releasing sexual impulses and tension, when the tension can't be released in any other way.

    In Bonobo behavior, the female sometimes deliberately provokes the male by kicking him, so that he would have sex with her. And bonobos have sex whenever there's a conflict. So there's "logic" to this behavior: you create a conflict, you have sex. If you want to have sex, deliberately create conflict (from 0:40):



    The humans might operate in somewhat of a similar, but more complex way, although it's obviously not the same.

    If there's a behavior that lasts for a long time, then we can see that it's either because 1) it "works" in some ways, or 2) there's no reason, it's just something that is done for the sake of doing it, and this behavior is passed onto others, as in a "tradition" or "rituals".

    If a long-lasting behavior can be seen in many different cultures, then we can say that 1) is likely. And since BDSM can be seen in many different cultures, it must be that BDSM "works" in some ways. So there must be some sort of a "logic" to this behavior that gets the desired result.

  12. #92
    Nebula's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I have a tentative theory about Gammas and BDSM. I'm not sure where this is going, but here is what I have noticed.

    In almost all of the BDSM porn that I've seen (and that's not much, because it doesn't interest me), it has always been an ILI or an LIE who was involved. The ESI's and SEE's seem to be on the set by accident.
    I think this is a facet of Victim behavior, in the sense that Victims want to be sure that their love object is paying attention to them. So if a Victim is tied up and unable to act, then the fact that someone else is acting upon them is reassuring. BDSM is weirdly representational of Victim or Infantile behavior, in this sense.

    In my dealings with LIE's and ILI's IRL, I don't see the BDSM thing so much at all, but I might lead a very limited life, IDK. I just don't see BDSM much at all IRL, not even a hint of it. Not with any types, TBH.

    What I do see in Gammas are issues of control.

    For example, for whatever reason, I refuse to put myself in any position where someone else controls me, and I've noticed this proclivity in many (not all) LIE's.

    On the other hand, I know a lot of ILI's and almost all of them are control freaks. Maybe closet control freaks, but if you look, and you generally don't have to look very far, you will find that they are obsessed with controlling things, schedules, people, etc. And I mean obsessed.

    I actually attribute this feature to them having SEE's as duals. SEE's tend to just fly off in any direction that moves them at the moment, much to their detriment and eventual dissipation. ILI's manage that tendency in SEE's. But they tend to control SEE's from behind the scene. In fact, ILI's want to be the "Power behind the Throne", constantly whispering into the SEE's ear what they should do.

    This role of being in "control" of a relationship by forcing the other person into a given path of actions while simultaneously appearing to take no overt actions feeds perfectly into the BDSM dynamic.

    If we were to expand this idea to apply it to other quadras, then you'd expect the introverted (not overtly active but still desirous of control) Victim or Infantile to be more inclined towards BDSM. That would apply to the LII, the IEI, the ILI, and the EII.

    *EDIT*
    I started writing this post before @Venus Rose posted, but I see that her post doesn't contradict mine.
    I'm not into BDSM, but I enjoy being a submissive male to a dominant female, sexually. I don't mean that I want to do what I'm told. Fuck that; this violates having an independent will of my own. I don't want physical or emotional abuse. I mean, I am attracted to a female who wants to initiate and be on top. I find being dominant exhausting and boring. I like to please, but from a more submissive stance. Sometimes, being more dominant is thrilling, but not in a BDSM kind of way; it's more of an initiation and directional behavior.

    This is why I have a fixation for women sitting on my face, lol. Just as long as she isn't too heavy. I want to feel her cum on my face...yum.
    Last edited by Nebula; 12-09-2018 at 06:05 PM.

  13. #93
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    It occurred to me earlier that I have some experience in bed with the full Gamma quadra. This is the only full quadra I have experience with lol.

    IME they usually (I think it’s obvious to say almost always) don’t go as far as actual BDSM. However, they all do have that dark, edgy quality to them. And they bring their Se/Ni energy & passion out if they really like you. It doesn’t mean hitting (I can’t remember anything beyond regular spanking) or hurting but they will be forceful, “wild”, and intense. When they are less into it they act polite and lukewarm, going through social motions like they’re a necessary evil. IME quadra Beta is similar, but light and edgy simultaneously, and more conventionally romantic, like emo high school teens. Gamma is the dark grunge kid in their early 20s that stat rapes the high school teens lol.
    Last edited by sbbds; 12-11-2018 at 09:05 PM.

  14. #94
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    Quote Originally Posted by sbbds View Post
    IME quadra Beta is similar, but light and edgy simultaneously, and more conventionally romantic, like emo high school teens.
    This is quite accurate lol

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    I would't say BDSM, that seems to be more of a beta thing IMO. I would say though that my ideal would be a decisive partner, someone who doesn't wait or take extended preparations and just goes right to the point (no pun intended). I can say though the positions I prefer are generally submissive.

  16. #96
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    So who likes dark hot hard sex vs. soft slow etc, Alpha or Gamma? Do erotic styles really exist as an extension of type? I haven't seen enough evidence yet. Hmmm.

    Anyway I think Si-valuing & Ne-valuing image or exhibitionism types are into the sensory experience the most. It only makes sense. Other quadras might get into more extended psychological factors like drama and ego issues. Betas could be physically the most soft and slow. And then Gammas then delta's. I think Alphas actually go hard. But this has just been my thinking and experience. It doesn't mesh well with the erotic styles alleged elsewhere.
    Last edited by vesstheastralsilky; 12-12-2018 at 02:43 AM.
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  17. #97
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    Blah, @vesstheastralsilky at least EIEs with their Se HA do go hard. As for the other types.. maybe. I actually think you might be onto something real there.

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