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Thread: What do you do when you dislike someone?

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    black mamba BOT's Avatar
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    Red face What do you do when you dislike someone?

    How do you express contempt or how is it manifested?
    What do you do when you dislike/hate someone?
    And how each type manifest it in your experience?

    I want to know the differences between types.

    Honest answers are welcome.

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    Mio Q's Avatar
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    Generally act more disinterested and cold when I have to talk with them. Try to keep my cool but if they're someone really annoying I might snap at them by accident. If I really hate someone I try to minimize my interaction with them as much as possible.

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    fka lungs ashlesha's Avatar
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    If it's at work or they're close to someone I'm close to I try to hide it. I talk to them less compared to others but otherwise I mask it okay. I think those situations account for most of the people I dislike.

    In situations where I feel free to more openly express dislike i just ignore them unless they act friendly with me. Then I'm a little rude/abrupt in a way that usually gets the point across that I don't want to interact. It rarely escalates to an actual conflict.

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    I pretty much treat everybody equally unless they step on my toes.. then I let them know in a subtle way, I didn't appreciate it. I'm not in Jr high school; I don't have any reason to dislike anybody unless they're harassing me or gaslighting me. If they harass me, then I avoid them because I dislike drama ...(I guess that's disliking)
    Amber casts infinity of shadows, and my Avalon had cast many of its own, because of my presence there. I might be known on many earths that I had never trod, for shadows of myself had walked them, mimicking imperfectly my deeds and my thoughts. -Carl Corey(Corwin)CC


    Merlin has a very different personality than his father and, oddly enough considering his upbringing, considers himself to be a "regular guy". He lacks both the ruthlessness and the crudity of Prince Corwin, and seems to be almost allergic to ambition, a rare trait considering his parentage. Merlin has dark hair and light eyes. His colours are purple and gray, although he also uses the blue and gold colours of Berkeley, where he studied Computer Science on Shadow Earth.

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    I usually just ignore them and pretend they don't exist. If that doesn't work then I'll be combative defensively. Of course, in some rare situations you have to deal with them somewhat cordially like co-workers. Like chriscorey, I only really dislike people that try to step on my toes though. If you don't try to attack me in anyway then I have no reason to dislike you.
    "Nothing happens until the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change."

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    Number 9 large's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aki View Post
    How do you express contempt or how is it manifested?
    What do you do when you dislike/hate someone?
    And how each type manifest it in your experience?

    I want to know the differences between types.

    Honest answers are welcome.
    Generally just avoid and delete them from my life

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    silke's Avatar
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    Retype them into a type that is just the most awful horrible type that everyone hates and then make sure they suffer in that typing. jkjk

    I'll invest conscious attention into examining my dislike in much greater detail. Like the quote goes everything that you dislike about others is a window into yourself. I feel like I cannot miss out on an opportunity like that. This contemplation then leads me to have these exciting spikes of revelations, while the dislike turns into "well, we're not quite traveling along the same road" so then I won't spend much time in their company.

    The feels I get about other people don't neatly come to simple like/dislike, love/hate, as this would be like seeing in black and white, so it gets to be more complicated.

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    sound and vision coeruleum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hag View Post
    having to coexist with someone I hate is intolerable, one of us has gotta go.

    Soxology

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    Praiſe Him all Gammas here below
    Praiſe Him Above ye Alphaly Hoſt
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    RELFSPIT


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    sound and vision coeruleum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by silke View Post
    Retype them into a type that is just the most awful horrible type that everyone hates and then make sure they suffer in that typing. jkjk
    I can't imagine you're telling everyone you know at work and church and school and whatever they're ILE, mostly because most people don't know what that is.
    Soxology

    Praiſe Sox from whom all Betas flow
    Praiſe Him all Gammas here below
    Praiſe Him Above ye Alphaly Hoſt
    Praiſe Father, Son, and Delta Ghoſt

    RELFSPIT


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    Quote Originally Posted by coeruleum View Post
    I can't imagine you're telling everyone you know at work and church and school and whatever they're ILE, mostly because most people don't know what that is.
    hence the jk's

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    sound and vision coeruleum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by silke View Post
    hence the jk's
    be the trendsetter and start. make ILE the new N-word
    Soxology

    Praiſe Sox from whom all Betas flow
    Praiſe Him all Gammas here below
    Praiſe Him Above ye Alphaly Hoſt
    Praiſe Father, Son, and Delta Ghoſt

    RELFSPIT


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    Quote Originally Posted by coeruleum View Post
    be the trendsetter and start. make ILE the new N-word
    oh preach haha

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    Quote Originally Posted by hag View Post
    I think it's about time murder was legalized. in this day and age I should be able to walk up to a guy and give him the ol' Colombian necktie no questions asked
    make sure to call him an ILE 9w1 Sp/So before you do it
    Soxology

    Praiſe Sox from whom all Betas flow
    Praiſe Him all Gammas here below
    Praiſe Him Above ye Alphaly Hoſt
    Praiſe Father, Son, and Delta Ghoſt

    RELFSPIT


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    the Lycanthrope Remiel's Avatar
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    It depends on if it's strategically wise to act. If not then I ignore them, but if I can, I destroy them.
    "Verily, a strong wind is Zarathustra to all low places; and this counsel counselleth he to his enemies, and to whatever spitteth and speweth: "Take care not to spit against the wind!"―Nietzsche

    "The society that separates its scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting by fools." ―Thucydides

    "Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." -Mencken



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    Quote Originally Posted by Remiel View Post
    It depends on if it's strategically wise to act. If not then I ignore them, but if I can, I destroy them.
    Any prefered method?

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    the Lycanthrope Remiel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aki View Post
    Any prefered method?
    Usually small timey stuff like cheap power plays. But often when I got someone at my mercy I dont act on it. I've already gotten what I wanted out of it. Like some people on this forum has experienced.
    "Verily, a strong wind is Zarathustra to all low places; and this counsel counselleth he to his enemies, and to whatever spitteth and speweth: "Take care not to spit against the wind!"―Nietzsche

    "The society that separates its scholars from its warriors will have its thinking done by cowards and its fighting by fools." ―Thucydides

    "Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats." -Mencken



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    Quote Originally Posted by Aki View Post
    How do you express contempt or how is it manifested?
    It honestly depends. If I can stay away from them, I'll do that. If I can't tho, I tend to be confrontational. I don't have any issues expressing my contempt for someone. Usually, if it's in a social setting, I can get other people to side with me. I have a hard time backing off, especially if the other person doesn't get out of my face.

    What do you do when you dislike/hate someone?
    Ignore them. Don't take them seriously. Dismiss everything they say. Honestly, it's just one person. I'm sure they don't have anything useful or important to say to me anyway. If there's some fault of mine, I would count on my actual well wishers to point it out. Usually when I dislike someone it's pretty mutual anyway, so I don't see any point in paying attention to anything they have to say. Unless it's like a professional setting and I have to act professional, in which case, I don't really have a problem doing that.

    And how each type manifest it in your experience?
    Not entirely sure how to answer this? Uhhh, I don't think logical types fight for social dominance, that's something I've observed. I haven't met any logical types that generate drama, or openly demonstrate contempt. They're pretty level headed. Ethical types can range a lot, like holding grudges from like, five years ago, to saying outright to my face "You have no friends" (which wasn't even true). With SFs, it always turns it into a social thing, and I'm guilty of this as well. NFs can take an air of superiority even be smug. EIEs and ESEs are very very diplomatic imo, I don't think I have seen them openly express contempt... Is there anything specific you were looking for?

    I want to know the differences between types.

    Honest answers are welcome.
    I hope this helps
    100% real SLI. Do not question.

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    If I don't like someone but HAVE to work with them, I'd try to keep chill for the social cohesion but would find petty ways to express the dislike. For example, one guy I worked with never pulled his weight on the team so I always suggested he do the worst / most difficult jobs. Another girl I worked with would often make sweeping generalisations and would also play devil's advocate a lot so I would always undermine her when she did that (and like a true bitch, be sweet and innocent about doing it)

    In social situations I'm more like Hag. Avoid avoid avoid as much as possible. Find ways to get out of conversation with them. Don't go to events if they are there. Don't respond directly to them. One time a friend of mine called me a bitch for doing this and not just saying how I feel but I think it's preferable to making my friends uncomfortable? Like if I hate my friend's friend I won't tell them I think they're an asshole. If my friend is the one being an asshole, then I'll tell them. But it seems unnecessary if it's someone I can just avoid (unless they are being really mean or something)

    When I was younger I was more inclined to speak my mind and get into arguments but I'm generally bad at getting out of arguments (knowing when to quit / when it's getting futile) and end up getting emotionally drained
    "I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
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    I think it depends a lot on what they did to me. If they didn't wrong me too badly, I'll just avoid them when I see them.

    But if they wronged me really badly, then I'll start going into aggressive mode with them.
    Like during my high school days, I was molested by this cleaner at my school.
    He will always board the same bus as me after school, and he will always sit beside me in the bus, and then the sexual assault started happening. I think he molested me a total of 3-4 times, on different occasions.
    I was quite afraid of him at first, but over time, my anger toward him started overpowering my fear of him.
    So one day, when I saw him at my school, I started getting into a staring contest with him and I actually stared him right into his eyes without looking away, just to intimidate him. And it works. He's scared of me, and he didn't dare to come near me ever again.

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    I think I’d probably either directly mock or attack them or slander them (“vent” about them lol) behind their back if that’s not possible. If it doesn’t get to this point, I wouldn’t consider it as me truly disliking someone.

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    It is the f*cking thermonuclear war every time!

    I don't really have lots of clues about that. If it is not addressable in any shape or form then nothing particular will likely happen. So basically, if the other party is not giving lots of negative signals it will be OK. If the negative stuff happens, I will try to dodge it or go around it as long as possible. If it continues way too long I might go into heated mode (which is not meltdown, though).
    You can suggest an alternative type based on video found in HERE

    extrospection > introspection



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    🕷🕸🕷~haunting~🕷🕸🕷 aster's Avatar
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    Usually I feel pretty guilty disliking people, but then I also get annoyed when other people are all accepting of said people. I usually vent to my husband about them, but he doesn't have as strong opinions about people as I do, so I usually just feel like a horrible person afterwards. I guess it makes me feel like an unaccepting person? My sister is good to vent to about people, because she has clear likes and dislikes, but she usually wants to do something dramatic and combative about it, like ruin the person and go after them, and that conflicts with what I usually do about it, which is a whole lot of nothing. But I suppose I'll talk to them a lot less than others, might even give crappy looks, or if they say something I don't like, I might give sarcastic remarks. I have flipped out a few times on people, but it was something that built over a long period of time. I can be quiet about things bugging me for a while, but then if it continues, it can get to the point where I can't take it anymore. I've only done that a handful of times, but it does happen. However I am a lot more proactive when it concerns my family than myself. Things have to be pretty bad for me to start completely ignoring a person/giving them the cold shoulder, but I've done it before, and it's a lot easier when I'm in a bad mood. It's pretty easy for me to make it clear to someone their presence is unwelcome if I really want to. I don't naturally feel like that much of a warm & welcoming person anyway, so I just try becoming even less of one. I might be more accepting/coldly polite on other days when I'm in a better mood, which might send mixed signals.

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    I usually avoid eye contact and talk to them as little as possible, but sometimes I can start talking about something briefly and it can become more and I momentarily forget I don't like them. Disliking people is hard work. I don't like to dislike people.

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    If I truly dislike someone overall I'll probably try to avoid them as much as possible and not be rude. Unless they are asking for it. Then I can be pretty savage. Usually not the case though. Often it's someone I once liked and my opinion has shifted or it's someone I respect in general but there is something about them I don't like. In that case I think I frequently voice my discontent. Usually regret it after. I can get too personal and a little mean, and if it's someone I think has redeeming qualities I usually don't think they deserve that. There are very few people I just straight up dislike. If so they're not really worth it anyway, but I roll my eyes and make snide comments. If it's someone I hate because they're an asshole or actually did something to me, I'll frequently contemplate revenge and rarely act on it, mostly out of fear of repercussions.
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    Chickie, you are back! I was missing u

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    I don't see it that way BFGDoomer's Avatar
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    I think about them. A lot. I think about why i dislike them. It is a greater necessity for me to understand my dislike than when i like someone.

    In interaction i listen more closely to what they say. I am quicker to dismiss their remarks in my head, even though i chastise myself mentally for it.
    Nothing is so difficult as not deceiving oneself.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aki View Post
    Chickie, you are back! I was missing u
    Hello chikie yes I'm trying to get my mind off psychology haha 😂

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    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    Usually I feel pretty guilty disliking people, but then I also get annoyed when other people are all accepting of said people...
    Same, aster. I even try really hard to 'forget' that i dislike certain people, sort of brush it under the rug, and this lasts until the next time that said person does or says something that reminds me of why i dislike them in the first place. I always hope that i have misjudged the person/situation w/e and even that the person might change (doesn't happen much lol).

    If it's very strong dislike I would try to avoid them, after many attempts at the above.

    Presently, i dislike 2 of my co-workers. i have tried a combination of the above + trying to improve the very nature of our relation (by trying to be more open minded about them and friendly - which I didn't like doing because it made me feel like I was behaving out of character). Now it has got to the point where I try to talk to them as little as possible while not entirely avoiding them. At the workplace this is more difficult imo. And i am convinced I haven't misjudged these 2 people after so many times trying to understand and empathize with where they are coming from.
    "Inasmuch as it is nothing but pure communicability, every face, even the most noble and beautiful, is always suspended on the edge of an abyss"

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    Position myself to have the upper hand, exploit their weakness, and then destroy them with one big blow
    If you can't get a miracle, become one

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    Hot Message FDG's Avatar
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    At work - if the dislike is mutual and we still have to work together - find a way to appear superior to them so they won´t think about bothering me, or find ways to have the upper hand so they won´t be able to damage me.
    Otherwise I may even have a hard time telling if someone likes or dislikes me, it´s not something I often think about.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    If they are more or less my equal, I will crush them and get back at them for bothering me. My inner moral fag feels bad for even killing a tiny bug mind you- like there's always a part of me that dies when I'm like this, but really ugh you shouldn't have messed with me in the first place - I'm not your punching bag, I will get my revenge and it won't be pretty.

    If they have too much real political power over me and I can't touch them but they can touch/invade me, I will convince others why that person needs to be crushed and try to get them fired or demoted. This surprisingly works a good deal in my favor, if I can get close to them enough and to influence others why they need to take that person's power away from them etc.

    I know spiritually we should all just forgive, love and move on but realistically like Xena said that's just so hard to do sometimes. *stares thoughtfully into the campfire.* /hugs @inumbra. I do try to remember war only usually works when both sides think of themselves as the good guys. When in all reality there is no such thing, of course.

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    As with many things it depends. How severely do I hate them? What have they done to me? What do I have to lose by retaliating? Is it feasible to just walk away? Will they likely continue acting the way they are until stopped?

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    Feeling fucking fantastic golden's Avatar
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    Say cutting, creepy things if I have to be around them, can’t help it.

    I don’t like the petty glee I get from doing that. So I prefer to de-exist them mentally, shun, ghost.
    LSI: “I still can’t figure out Pinterest.”

    Me: “It’s just, like, idea boards.”

    LSI: “I don’t have ideas.”

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    Depends on what they did. Do they smell or are they undermining me? If they are undermining me I will try to be empathetic since it must be hard to compete. If they are also incompetent I will gossip about their lack of competency. If they are better than me and trying to undermine me I will wait for the right moment. If they smell I will just avoid them.

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    I'll just say it and tell them, keep it specific to behaviours and or attitudes and why.

    Sometimes we can move past it into something more productive. Sometimes not.

    I'd ask myself what do I stand to loose or gain here by telling them? It goes into all directions of inquiry self directed and other directed.

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    I'd rather not add fuel to inevitable fires and avoid when possible. My spiritual beliefs do not permit me to retaliate because that will only incur more selfharm too later anyway. It is best to just gain an understanding, be objective beyond types, and then I personally choose to leave the dramas.

    Sometimes life circumstances have forced me to maintain contact and love my enemies anyway. I used to say our enemies can be great teachers, but I've been hurt badly enough where I can't just intellectualize that anymore. And by enemies I am not referring to socionics intertype relations but proven enemies. Good civil relations are still possible among all types (perhaps if not forced to be too intimate) with enough virtue.

    I tend to view someone who's behavior I dislike as someone who just doesn't know better. And everyone's always learning.
    astralsilky

    Tests INXX
    IRL Type SEI-Si
    MBTI since 1990
    Socionics since 2000
    Enneagram 4/5

  38. #38
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    I don't care unless they're in my way. Then I scare them or I hit them.

    Most people are conflict averse, so it don't take much.

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    In general, I dislike the feeling of disliking people, especially if it's not anything intentional on their part that they are doing that is making me dislike them. So, I usually remove myself from the situation discreetly. If I have to remain, then I am usually less talkative, and my mood goes down.

    There are some less common cases where someone I am acquainted with (so there is a bit more affection involved than a typical case) is acting in a manner that makes me dislike them, usually by being inconsiderate, but they are genuinely unaware of why this is so. So I try to correct their behavior calmly, since if I don't correct this behavior, it is likely that nobody will, since many people are unwilling to confront people. If they were to continue behaving in that way, then it is likely that they will just rub more people the wrong way, and that will lead to them being socially isolated. People should not live in bubbles, as it is detrimental to health.

    In the much rarer cases where someone is actively provoking me or irritating me, I actively try to remain composed, since I know that they are probably just trying to get me to react. But like all people, I have a fuse, and when this fuse burns through I can respond very angrily. I usually raise my voice and let the person know exactly why I am angry, usually with a few choice words of my own. I typically try to avoid this.

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    I think the idea that I might dislike someone new excites me tbh. I used to want to always be neutral and not give into emotions like that because they were non-objective, or I didn’t want to do something bad as a result, or something like that. I also used to be really impersonal and ambivalent socially. Now I’m enjoying this new world of liking/disliking people. Burning hatred when channeled properly can be productive, it’s fun!

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