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Thread: What do ESFjs and ISFps think of "Caregiver" type descriptions?

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    My LSE dad has.

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    Quote Originally Posted by A Moderator View Post
    My LSE dad has.
    mb because you are a male, or because you should, lol

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aki View Post
    My LSE dad has never told me something like that.
    Probably you'd never demanded a blanket from him.

    That kind of reaction is likely choleric Ej-type-style, though.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Aki View Post
    because you should, lol
    I'm sure you and he would get along splendidly.

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    Quote Originally Posted by WinnieW View Post
    Probably you never demanded a blanket from him.
    yeah, mb

    That kind of reaction is choleric Ej-type-style, though.


    my dad is more like start grumbling if so. But chances are that he would say something like that to a male.

    Anyway, it was a joke, the one who I can imagine saying that to me (and angrily) is my IEI sister.

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    @mrrrmaid your avatar seems very Alpha SF, but just ignore this post because this is completely shit reasoning as far as your type is concerned.

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    Quote Originally Posted by A Moderator View Post
    @mrrrmaid your avatar seems very Alpha SF, but just ignore this post because this is completely shit reasoning as far as your type is concerned.
    I mean, your Boba Fett avatar could only belong to an alpha NT so maybe there is something to typing by pic Mine actually does come from a film with probably a very very unhealthy ESE type 2 lead and in that very scene she's talking about her extreme approach to caregiving.

    I think Alpha SF probably does make the most sense for me so maybe I just haven't met my dream NT man who will draw that instinct out of me
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    Quote Originally Posted by A Moderator View Post
    What kind of caregiving style is expressed here?

    none

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    Quote Originally Posted by mrrrmaid View Post
    One of the things that makes me hesitant to accept an alpha SF typing, and also feel a little sick , is descriptions of caregivers in romantic relationships. But I'm aware that these descriptions might be a little outdated / made for a different culture to mine. So I wanted to hear how you think of caregivers (particularly alpha caregivers but also in general). Both general descriptions plus irl experience welcome.

    First person who mentions cooking and cleaning up after a manchild husband gets an elbow drop to the face
    As others have already said, being attentive to your own and others' practical needs is an essential part of who Alpha SFs (and Si egos more generally) are. This can lead to being doting in relationships of course, whoever the other person is. It is not about "protecting" someone either.

    Quote Originally Posted by mrrrmaid View Post
    @Troll Nr 007
    Definitely histrionic / narcissistic. Exhibitionism, provocative behaviour, attention-seeking for the former, over confidence, fantasies of success, need for admiration for the latter. If I'm flirting it's actually very focused on me and how I come across. Lots of provocative behaviour and showing off. Demanding he keep up with me and getting a kick out of it (though also disappointment) if he can't. Which makes me think I'm more on the victim / aggressor "gauntlet throwing" axis.
    Edit: though I do then switch in a gentler mode once I've won. I guess I like to know he's worth something, then beat him, then switch to being receptive and (emotionally) caregiving in the form of compliments and cheering him up.
    Is this a description of you? I'm getting the sense that you aren't as averse to conflict and negativity as you described in your video...if you really can't identify with "Caregiving" then EIE could be an option.

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    ^ going to respond to this in my type me thread because everything I have to say is about me rather than Alpha SF.

    Although OP was about helping me understand caregiving this thread can totally just be about how great caregivers are if anyone feels like bragging
    "I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
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    @mrrrmaid blah.....we caregivers......well I've never had any relationship with a childlike, but I can tell you how I WANT a relationship to go (if only if only) and also give some personal experiences. Edit: It got long, sorry. Read whatever parts you like or none of it at all:

    I don't care if he's a big strong manly man. I still see him as vulnerable. He needs comfort and soothing and care. If I try to give him this and he cringes, it hurts my SEI heart (personal experience). If I try to give him this and he relaxes right into it and smiles, I'll feel elated because that's basically him communicating that he appreciates me for my very nature. It's really basic, simple things...just hugging him and feeling him press into me like he wants the softness of my physical self makes me feel so...happy. I saw one description of SEI-ILE that said something to the effect that 'this couple in particular likes to dissolve into each other's embraces'. SOUNDS LIKE MY IDEAL RELATIONSHIP-Sign me up.

    When I'm in love, any pleasure or pain he feels is perceived keenly by me, to the point that his enjoyment feels more important than mine (but overall, I still want a guy who treats me with the same deference. I want there to be an equal give-and-take. Anything less will start to deplete my energy. I have my own needs, too). Any challenge he faces should be made easier, and it feels like my responsibility to help with that if I can. I think victims will give the aggressor space to show off, overcome the challenge, while instead I feel the need to protect him from discomfort. I'm not very good at , so I won't interfere with his work efforts most of the time. But I'm confident when giving people positive feelings...making them feel loved, admired, and appreciated...so that is mostly what I try to do to help him out. I'll reassure him that he is loved and admired by me, that I have complete confidence in him, trying to boost his self-esteem. With past boyfriends, I intuitively act like they need this validation. It has caused offense in the past. It's not insulting from my point of view, but I can see how it could seem condescending.

    I find myself always trying to give practical advice based on my personal experience of what worked for me. Emotional advice, too...like how to reframe a situation so it's less emotionally painful. And situational advice, like "when this happens to me, I find solution x works best! " I want to make problems end as quickly as possible. If my partner brings up a difficulty he is having, I will start sorting through bits of info to try to think of something helpful and relevant to his immediate situation. Maybe this is typical of caregivers? Also I can care for a close friend or boyfriend when they have underlying emotional vulnerabilities. If someone starts having some painful feelings bubbling to the surface, I will talk them through it with sympathy and understanding, with no condemnation for anything they're feeling, until it passes. I think this is the SEI's Demonstrative at work?

    I dunno if I'm much for cooking and cleaning for my partner. I've never tried it. I have never lived with a guy, either. I like this description of caregivers by @wasp from the Erotic Styles are Relative thread (paraphrasing):
    Quote Originally Posted by wasp View Post
    caregiver - passive, direct
    childlike - active, indirect
    aggressor - active, direct
    victim - passive, indirect

    ... ...

    it's hard to explain but i think there are degrees to this

    Si leads are "comfort being" - they project a caring attitude by remaining calm, so it's a natural byproduct of being themselves but it comes across as "caring" to outsiders, while Si creatives are more "comfort creating" - they strive to remain calm but Se demonstrative gives them an aggressive edge occasionally, and they're "comfort creating" because they're more likely to take the initiative in producing a comfortable environment for their Ne ego counterparts (in contrast with Si leads who are more like the embodiment of comfort)

    ... ...

    now the reason that Si egos are characterized as "direct" but "passive" as opposed to "active" is because they require Si seeking cues from their Ne ego counterparts in order to capitalize on opportunities to offer Si - whether it be in the form of acting as a calm presence, or the stereotypical definition ("would you like a blanket, maybe a bowl of soup?") and sometimes i even see it manifest as a protective attitude in times of personal distress but instead of saying "hey i'll bash your head in if you don't leave him/her alone" it's more like "hey, maybe you should go easy on him/her" while Ni egos tend to offer assistance to their Se ego counterparts in the form of direction (for lack of a better word)

    ...
    "The embodiment of comfort" Yes, that is how I want to be, to him. I've been told many times that my presence actually makes people sleepy. I chill people out, really, without even trying. In the past I hated this about myself because most people get bored by me, but apparently I just haven't been around Ne-leads enough or something? Since you're more thinking about maybe ESE, I guess that could have more to do with 'comfort creating' in terms of food, environment, etc.

    The ESEs i've known of both genders are pretty eager to create a pleasurable environment for guests. Bringing food, getting you tea, setting up the couches just right for a group session of video games...they eagerly assure you 'no no, don't worry about that, i'll take care of it'. They like to be appreciated and admired for this, but are most grateful when you can help them with logical and intuitive concerns. They get frustrated when computers don't work as expected, and want help with complicated logical systems such as those. This one ESE man was part of a painting class with me. Like a gentleman, he would grab an easle for me, and a table, and a stool, and all proudly-like carry it all outside for me and set it up. Putting my painting supplies on top of the table, and being like "Okay! there you go ^_^" and he really seemed to feel happy knowing that he made something in my life easier. Then he'd do the same for our other friend, and then for himself, last. The idea to paint outside instead of in the class room was his, too, he said "how would you guys feel about painting outside? Seeing the nice landscape, feeling the good weather-the weather is so good today!" *sees our willing expressions* "Yes I think that's a good idea, let's do that "

    lol his sounds so exaggerated in text, but I'm only including the obvious examples here.

    Edit:
    I think victims will give the aggressor space to show off, overcome the challenge, while instead I feel the need to protect him from discomfort.
    Just clarifying, I feel the need to protect him from discomfort and embarassment, too. Like I wouldn't let a SLE struggle and fail, and then be like "well....I'll wait till you prove yourself stronger next time, so that you feel like you've really won my admiration later" -which is what Se-egos give me the impression of wanting... Instead, I'll automatically try to reassure him "it's okay, I still think you did great ^_^"
    Last edited by Xaiviay; 10-15-2018 at 09:19 PM.

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    All deltas are caregivers. All alphas are babies.

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    @xiaviay I wish I could give this five constructives! So good!

    I think all this stuff tends to be things I do do and maybe even do well but it's always something I feel I should do. Like something I always forget to do and then I'll think "oh I should probably give my bf some encouragement on that thing he's doing" or "I guess I should make this place look better for my guests." And even if I'm good at it, I'll revert back to not doing it the other 364 days of the year. The only thing keeping me from saying I'm not a caregiver in the ESE way you described is that I'm actually really good at it when I do remember to do it, but from what I understand erotic style isn't about what we're good at but our attitude and approach (though those often overlap)

    I'm not going to reply with specifics about me here because I don't want this to be about me but more about understand caregivers more generally. However, lots to think about and I'll definitely be coming back to this post for reference whilst I'm figuring it out <3 <3
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrrrmaid View Post
    @xiaviay I wish I could give this five constructives! So good!

    I think all this stuff tends to be things I do do and maybe even do well but it's always something I feel I should do. Like something I always forget to do and then I'll think "oh I should probably give my bf some encouragement on that thing he's doing" or "I guess I should make this place look better for my guests." And even if I'm good at it, I'll revert back to not doing it the other 364 days of the year. The only thing keeping me from saying I'm not a caregiver in the ESE way you described is that I'm actually really good at it when I do remember to do it, but from what I understand erotic style isn't about what we're good at but our attitude and approach (though those often overlap)

    I'm not going to reply with specifics about me here because I don't want this to be about me but more about understand caregivers more generally. However, lots to think about and I'll definitely be coming back to this post for reference whilst I'm figuring it out <3 <3
    Thank youuu, mrrrmaid I'm glad my post helped!

    I've seen EIEs be really good hosts, too. Doing the caregiving things I mentioned above. Although they're less assertive about it, they don't grab my empty glass from me and be like "No No, you sit down!! I'll take that ^_^"

    I'm interested to see what type you end up deciding on

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    @mrrrmaid oh yeah and I thought of one more thing. It's at the bottom of the post

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    Quote Originally Posted by Xaiviay View Post
    @mrrrmaid oh yeah and I thought of one more thing. It's at the bottom of the post
    ooooh this is actually really helpful because it took me a while to figure out what I'd do in that situation so I had to dig deep.

    I think in a LTR I wouldn't let him embarrass himself if I knew his plan was going to fail (maybe wouldn't stop him doing the thing but would try to suggest ways to avoid failing) and if he did fail my help would be in the form of a pep talk (less "it's okay, I love you and think you are great regardless" and more "it's okay because next time you can do this instead") and build an action plan with him instead. All of which seems more Ni-Se than Si-Ne. I think I already mentioned either in this thread or to you in a different one that a previous bf complained I didn't reassure him enough (even going as far as to say he wasn't sure I even liked him anymore - which I did). I assumed he was more capable and self-assured than he was. I think he was a caregiver and a lot of it was coming from me not showing appreciation for what he was doing for me - hence why he also suggested I was bratty
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrrrmaid View Post
    ooooh this is actually really helpful because it took me a while to figure out what I'd do in that situation so I had to dig deep.

    I think in a LTR I wouldn't let him embarrass himself if I knew his plan was going to fail (maybe wouldn't stop him doing the thing but would try to suggest ways to avoid failing) and if he did fail my help would be in the form of a pep talk (less "it's okay, I love you and think you are great regardless" and more "it's okay because next time you can do this instead") and build an action plan with him instead. All of which seems more Ni-Se than Si-Ne. I think I already mentioned either in this thread or to you in a different one that a previous bf complained I didn't reassure him enough (even going as far as to say he wasn't sure I even liked him anymore - which I did). I assumed he was more capable and self-assured than he was. I think he was a caregiver and a lot of it was coming from me not showing appreciation for what he was doing for me - hence why he also suggested I was bratty
    Ohhh okay 'Building an action plan' - I see EIEs as masters of this, especially in the ethical sphere of relations...social variables...etc.
    (less "it's okay, I love you and think you are great regardless" and more "it's okay because next time you can do this instead")
    Yup, I'm definitely more of the former, and only the latter if he expresses dismay over his loss.

    Ahhh bummer, I could see a caregiver and a victim having problems like that. Especially a caregiver man and victim woman, dunno why.

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    Some extroverted care givers will literally cut your meat for you. Its that bad.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mrrrmaid View Post
    First person who mentions cooking and cleaning up after a manchild husband gets an elbow drop to the face
    Eh. What can I say? Alpha NTs are manchildren. Even the girls.

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    Quote Originally Posted by coeruleum View Post
    All deltas are caregivers. All alphas are babies.
    giphy.gif

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    I debated a lot about making this post, but I decided to do it finally. I'm fairly sure I'm SEI and dualized. My boyfriend is an ILE so I have at least some experience being an actual caregiver to an infantile type.

    So where can I start? I am very in tune with what my ILE's needs are. I try to be as aware of them as possible, like I'm hyper tuned in. I always make sure that I'm available to him whenever he needs me. I want to be sure he's taken care of. Everything he says to me, I commit to my memory so that I can remember it later. I want to cook for him, so that he's well fed. If he has a hard time sleeping, I'll personally put him to bed. If he's sick, I'll nurse him back to health.

    I also want him to feel safe that he's protected. I won't let anyone abuse or bully him, I'm protective like that. I want him to feel a sense of "being at home" with me. I want to be like a portable feeling of home-ness. Honestly my instincts are so maternal, I'm even embarassed to share them.

    Emotionally, I was surprised how gentle and kind he is at first, because I wasn't really expecting that from him. He is very sweet, in his own way he cares a lot. He relies on me for emotional support a lot. He wants to feel appreciated for his crazy ideas and theories like a whole "OMG I can't believe you thought of this" and it is true, I love that kind of stuff. He's really absent minded, and I'm pretty sure that he doesn't listen to like 30% of what I say. I don't really care or hold that against him. He's just so cute that I want to squeeze him and just hold on to him. He is very responsive to displays of affection and seems to appreciate them even if they are a bit exaggerated.

    I have this impression that ILE in general need social and romantic interactions to sort of revolve around them. And I'm looking for someone that I can just devote myself to, so it's a perfect match. With him I feel like, my mind has just been expanded. I feel like the little bubble I live in has grown and expanded.

    I can't convey with words how devoted I feel to him. I trust him to not take advantage of me in any way. What I do, is just sort of stick around in his presence and watch him (does that sound creepy?) I'm really good at knowing bodily discomforts, like when it's too hot, when he's too tired. Yeah these are more crude examples. I don't try to make him feel things about me, or try to analyze his feelings. I can usually tell what state of mind he is in, and I can react accordingly. Like, everything centers around him.

    I am definitely attracted to men who are vulnerable. When I say vulnerable, I don't mean submissive. I feel happy when I am appreciated by him for what I do. I don't seek recognition, or keep score. The things I do for him are because I feel emotionally motivated to do them and not out of obligation or something like that. The only reward I need is appreciation and he does make me feel very very appreciated.

    I don't really care about what he can do for me physically. I don't care about that. I'm not interested in changing him, but adapting myself around him. I love his personality and I adore his very existence. He's the one with all the ideas and the plans and I'm more than happy to just tag along and be a sort of personal cheerleader. I'm never not open to trying something new or different. I need his help to breakout of my shell. He makes me feel like I'm not mediocre, that I can do something with my life. That makes me so happy. It's like I was just sitting in a closed room all day and he came along and said, "there's a world outside and I can show it to you." He seems to have solutions to every problem and answers to any questions I have. He can always make life feel so much more interesting. I feel a lot more, I feel kind of alive.

    I have dated before, and I have to say, my most satisfying relationships are wirh other Ne ego types. I dated an EII for a while so I know. I scoffed at the idea of duality being anything significant, I just thought it was a dumb socionics theory that has no roots in reality but I am so pleasantly proved wrong.
    @mrrrmaid I hope this is of some use to you.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pano Lou View Post
    What I do, is just sort of stick around in his presence and watch him (does that sound creepy?)



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    Quote Originally Posted by Pano Lou View Post
    I debated a lot about making this post, but I decided to do it finally. I'm fairly sure I'm SEI and dualized. My boyfriend is an ILE so I have at least some experience being an actual caregiver to an infantile type.

    So where can I start? I am very in tune with what my ILE's needs are. I try to be as aware of them as possible, like I'm hyper tuned in. I always make sure that I'm available to him whenever he needs me. I want to be sure he's taken care of. Everything he says to me, I commit to my memory so that I can remember it later. I want to cook for him, so that he's well fed. If he has a hard time sleeping, I'll personally put him to bed. If he's sick, I'll nurse him back to health.

    I also want him to feel safe that he's protected. I won't let anyone abuse or bully him, I'm protective like that. I want him to feel a sense of "being at home" with me. I want to be like a portable feeling of home-ness. Honestly my instincts are so maternal, I'm even embarassed to share them.

    Emotionally, I was surprised how gentle and kind he is at first, because I wasn't really expecting that from him. He is very sweet, in his own way he cares a lot. He relies on me for emotional support a lot. He wants to feel appreciated for his crazy ideas and theories like a whole "OMG I can't believe you thought of this" and it is true, I love that kind of stuff. He's really absent minded, and I'm pretty sure that he doesn't listen to like 30% of what I say. I don't really care or hold that against him. He's just so cute that I want to squeeze him and just hold on to him. He is very responsive to displays of affection and seems to appreciate them even if they are a bit exaggerated.

    I have this impression that ILE in general need social and romantic interactions to sort of revolve around them. And I'm looking for someone that I can just devote myself to, so it's a perfect match. With him I feel like, my mind has just been expanded. I feel like the little bubble I live in has grown and expanded.

    I can't convey with words how devoted I feel to him. I trust him to not take advantage of me in any way. What I do, is just sort of stick around in his presence and watch him (does that sound creepy?) I'm really good at knowing bodily discomforts, like when it's too hot, when he's too tired. Yeah these are more crude examples. I don't try to make him feel things about me, or try to analyze his feelings. I can usually tell what state of mind he is in, and I can react accordingly. Like, everything centers around him.

    I am definitely attracted to men who are vulnerable. When I say vulnerable, I don't mean submissive. I feel happy when I am appreciated by him for what I do. I don't seek recognition, or keep score. The things I do for him are because I feel emotionally motivated to do them and not out of obligation or something like that. The only reward I need is appreciation and he does make me feel very very appreciated.

    I don't really care about what he can do for me physically. I don't care about that. I'm not interested in changing him, but adapting myself around him. I love his personality and I adore his very existence. He's the one with all the ideas and the plans and I'm more than happy to just tag along and be a sort of personal cheerleader. I'm never not open to trying something new or different. I need his help to breakout of my shell. He makes me feel like I'm not mediocre, that I can do something with my life. That makes me so happy. It's like I was just sitting in a closed room all day and he came along and said, "there's a world outside and I can show it to you." He seems to have solutions to every problem and answers to any questions I have. He can always make life feel so much more interesting. I feel a lot more, I feel kind of alive.

    I have dated before, and I have to say, my most satisfying relationships are wirh other Ne ego types. I dated an EII for a while so I know. I scoffed at the idea of duality being anything significant, I just thought it was a dumb socionics theory that has no roots in reality but I am so pleasantly proved wrong.
    @mrrrmaid I hope this is of some use to you.
    This is all so amazing, so happy for you <3

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    Amazing, @Pano Lou - I'm so glad you've joined the forum because all your posts so far have been great. I'm so jealous of your relationship; it sounds lush <3

    I think you really described what people mean when they say Si leads have a 'calming' presence. Particularly this bit:
    I also want him to feel safe that he's protected. I won't let anyone abuse or bully him, I'm protective like that. I want him to feel a sense of "being at home" with me. I want to be like a portable feeling of home-ness.


    From what I learned in this thread, ILEs are really lucky with their duals
    "I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pano Lou View Post
    I have this impression that ILE in general need social and romantic interactions to sort of revolve around them. And I'm looking for someone that I can just devote myself to, so it's a perfect match. With him I feel like, my mind has just been expanded. I feel like the little bubble I live in has grown and expanded.
    Seems IEE rather than ILE. But your description fits childlike-caregiver.

    Quote Originally Posted by mrrrmaid View Post
    From what I learned in this thread, ILEs are really lucky with their duals
    Anything that reminds them to shower and groom is a benefit to all of us.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bastard View Post
    Seems IEE rather than ILE. But your description fits childlike-caregiver.



    Anything that reminds them to shower and groom is a benefit to all of us.
    Yeah, I'm considering I might be SLI instead of SEI actually. I can't seem to reach a consensus on that Hmmm...

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pano Lou View Post
    Yeah, I'm considering I might be SLI instead of SEI actually. I can't seem to reach a consensus on that Hmmm...
    Underlined is not stereotypical SEI thought.

    Easiest distinction between the two couples is to ask who the "people person" is. IEEs and SEIs fulfill this role, as SLIs are usually mistrustful of people and ILEs are terrible people persons.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bastard View Post
    Underlined is not stereotypical SEI thought.

    Easiest distinction between the two couples is to ask who the "people person" is. IEEs and SEIs fulfill this role, as SLIs are usually mistrustful of people and ILEs are terrible people persons.
    I wouldn't describe myself as "mistrustful" of people. I'm not really a private person and I am happy to share whatever. I'm not very good at keeping secrets and am prone to oversharing. I do stay away from large groups of people and crowds, but that doesn't mean I hate them. I'm an uber introvert. I'm nice, but I'm also confrontational as fuck. Like sort of a "momma bear"thing if I see that someone is hurt, I can be viciously mean.

    I can't really tell where I fall on the friendliness scale. I do have friends, and people sometimes would even consider me a sort of therapist. I'm good at getting people to open up and talk to me. I do get tired of people fairly quickly though. I can function with no friends, but I probably need some kind of social stimulation.

    I can be super empathetic, like crying at movies and stuff like that. People say I have an expressive face. I dont really care much about people's feelings ourside of that tho, like what I can feel. Not sure what Fi HA would be like.

    I sometimes feel like I don't have an auxiliary function. Like, I feel like I operate on some combination of Si and Fi. I think it's good Fi tho... I'm pretty sure I'm 80% In my head and I at least type like an ethical type, typing as in, online. Idk do you think I could be any other type than SLI or SEI? I feel like it's one of the two...

    Not sure what to think Hmmm.

    Also the consensus thing, I want to know why there is no consensus on this issue. I feel like if I figure it out, I can bridge the gap and come to a clean conclusion.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bastard View Post
    Underlined is not stereotypical SEI thought.

    Easiest distinction between the two couples is to ask who the "people person" is. IEEs and SEIs fulfill this role, as SLIs are usually mistrustful of people and ILEs are terrible people persons.
    Dialectical-Algorithmic types also tend to doubt things and think them over, over and over again. That would be her cognition if she is SEI, so it still fits.

    Si-subtype SEI would be more reserved and refrain from expending much energy being out and about socializing, than regular or even Fe-SEIs.

    @Pano Lou judging by the way you describe caring for your partner, crying during movies, how your friends say you have an expressive face, that you're good at getting people to open up and talk to you - you do fit the SEI profile better than SLI, imo.

    You could read about the producing subtype for SEI as well - if I remember correctly, it basically explains that this subtype tends to have very little obvious creative function. It's pretty similar to Gulenko's Si-subtype in many ways.

    Edit: I'm sorry @Pano Lou, I got the name of the subtype wrong It's 'inert subtype', not 'producing subtype'. And it may be exactly the same as the basic extraverted/introverted subtype system, just with a different name.

    Maybe the lack of consensus on your type comes from people being used to me being a dork and spreading Fe everywhere, lol if I may be so bold as to presume to have that much of an effect on the forum

    Anyways, I'm definitely leaning towards SEI, from what I know of you.
    Last edited by Xaiviay; 10-23-2018 at 04:03 AM.

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    @mrrrmaid When reading Socionics descriptions of romantic styles, it is best to take them with a grain of salt. The names in particular tend to leave people with the wrong impression.

    The general idea to be gleaned from the Caregiver style descriptions is that Si-ego types will tend to pay attention to practical needs in a relationship (as said above). One can see how this impulse could grow in intensity, and how stereotypical "doting grandmother" behavior could arise from such an impulse, but this would represent an extreme case.

    In any case, I am quite sure that most people seeking a healthy relationship would not want to be wholly dependent or depended on.

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    There are three people in my life who I've typed (preliminarily) as Ne-doms and I think what @Pano Lou said about them needing social situations to revolve around them holds up. I don't think it's in a dramatic or attention seeking way. And I definitely don't think it's because they're good people persons. More like, they talk a lot about whatever is going through their mind and since they have fairly active minds, they talk A LOT. Like I can see why they need a calm, patient dual. If the people I've typed are typed correctly then it's their lack of people skills that make social situations revolve around them because they aren't aware of when to shut up or when everyone stopped being interested

    So I don't think what Pano Lou said is a sign her bf is IEE over ILE. I've noticed the same pattern in both.
    "I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
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    I should say that from the NT perspective, I grow to love my SEI duals more and more. They are so sweet, playful and eager to learn new things. Just over the last week we have discussed the mathematical derivation of musical harmonics, global social and political trends as they relate to typology, and our aesthetic preferences in house and garden design. They seem to be open books in a way - for they are receptive to the most ridiculous ideas that might pop into my head at any time, never prejudge, and are open to changing their minds. Such curiosity is rare and very encouraging. I recently told a female SEI that she reminded me of a vacuum cleaner, because both she and the vacuum cleaner have a powerful sucking action and tend to collect a lot of material inside them. She was quite flattered by that and offered to clean me any time.

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    Here is an amusing description of an Alpha Caregiver, I suspect from an (unknowing) dual.

    https://preview.redd.it/44jvkez26pa1...=webp&5e0eecfb

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    aaahh exactly what I want on my thread: Islamophobia, ****** role play and porn
    "I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
    - Carrie Fisher

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    Quote Originally Posted by mrrrmaid View Post
    aaahh exactly what I want on my thread: Islamophobia, ****** role play and porn
    thanks for heads-up -- thread-branch for ******/butts/etc. now exists to maintain integrity of thread/s

    re-rail, go go
    p . . . a . . . n . . . d . . . o . . . r . . . a
    trad metalz | (more coming)

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