Originally Posted by
kotorel
How my imagination and creative-thinking works
When I attempt to come up with a story or imagine a scene, my mind becomes overloaded with very detailed action-scenes, which are always focused on people, their elegance and strength of their movements, the elegance and good taste in their clothes, and the dangerous/explosive environments/situations or tools they are required to interact with.
An important particularity of the scenes I imagine, is that, unlike the typical action thriller with big guys running around with big muscles and wearing dirty torn clothes, the characters I imagine tend to be physically clean, clever-looking, possess gentle physical traits, lean, to a degree project a "classicist" or and "aristocratic" demeanor. But regardless of their gentle shell, they always possess extremely good physical coordination, and contain an enormous amount of explosive energy inside of them, which they don't openly show or waste, but rather direct it in a concentrated form towards winning their battles, achieving their goals, or suddenly and unexpectedly punching someone in the face. They rarely smile, and almost always have a focused and/or important look and aura about them.
I guess you could summarize both paragraphs above as: I like the image of a gentle and perfect being, walking atop the edge of a sharp blade (metaphorically speaking). Beauty and perfection must always be faced with immense danger and threats, and either be completely crushed by those challenges or confidently overcome them.
If I would write a novel, it would absolutely have to do something about war, politics, conquest, secret societies, aristocracy, mysteries, magic, guns, and martial arts.
Most of the dreams I have at night, in about 90-95% of cases tend to be action-oriented, with vivid imagery, lots of physical and explosive expression, lots of running, jumping-around, or fighting, or exploring new large environments while traveling at a high speed. I rarely have nightmares, as I tend to turn every monster/killer/offender in my dream into my victim, by beating him up or teasing him with my ability to easily maneuver away from his grasp.
The music, paintings, stories that inspire me most - tend to be a combination of melancholy, realism, explosive-bombastic-epicness. Whatever I seek, want, and enjoy, always has to be "bigger than life", "devious", "challenge gods", "destroy routines", "destroy or exceed expectations", "be phenomenal".
How I act and dress in the real life, and what's my reasoning behind doing so
Just as the characters I imagine in my stories, I tend to try to construct a similar image of me in real life. I like elegant clothing styles, I tend to choose conservative colors and pieces of clothing (office-style is the most predominant element in my attire). But despite choosing strictness in clothing items, I choose a laid-back way of wearing those items. I prefer my office shirts to be untucked, and the sleeves to be rolled up. In part because it's more comfortable that way, in part because I want to portray a hands-on type of personality - someone who's always ready to adapt to an unexpected situation and react physically to solve it. (be it a sudden fight, a sudden emergency, or anything else). Pierce Brosnan and Daniel Craig gave me a lot of inspiration in developing my style, because they too, while mostly relying on elegant styles of clothing, wear that clothing in a slightly lax/laid-back/hands-on type of manner.
The reason I choose this elegant, but slightly laid-back/messy style, is because I want to convey good tastes that are combined with flexibility and adaptability.
My movements/gait tends to be somewhat robotic and tense. People often tell me that I should relax my shoulders and limbs more, as the excessive tension I project tends to make some people feel uncomfortable. I know how to loosen up physically and become fluid, since I spent many years of my childhood in dancing and was very successful there. But for some reason, my mind perceives the 2 ways of using my body ("fluid dancer" and "rigid tense officer") as 2 different modes of existence, and despite fully understanding them on a bodily-logical-mechanical way, prefers the rigid mode in daily life. (but can switch to fluid dancer under special conditions)
The way I tend to react to my surroundings tends to be what I would describe as "alert" and "jumpy". I walk in a "fast" and "forceful" manner. My gestures tend to be quick and sudden. I quickly turn my head towards the object/scene of interest, and tend to give everyone and everything straight and focused stares, which at times intimidates people. Sometimes tilting my head downwards and looking at the object/person "from under my eye-brows", or alternatively tilting my head to the side, and giving a judgemental/assessing/condemning look. Probably because of this, I often received such comments as: "Why are you so serious? Did something happen", or "Why are you angry? Did I do something to you?" or "Why are you so stand-off-ish / aggressive?"
I too, just as the imaginary characters in my imagined scenes/stories, have a lot of explosive energy boiling deep inside me, and I focus it at times as a sharp and narrow "death-ray" towards an object or person of my concern or interest. Although sometimes this energy can explode physically, and I might do something stupid as jumping, running, or kicking things (but this happens rarely)
When I communicate I need to move my arms a lot, and do so subconsciously. The movements of my arms and hands often attempt to "draw" physical objects in the air, that explain the point I'm trying to make. If, for example, I'm talking about a paper document and their contents - while speaking, my hands will attempt to show the approximate amount of text the document had, how the paragraphs were separated, and maybe even use my finger to draw the signature of the person whomever signed those documents.
Despite my usually serious, withdrawn, and stand-off-ish attitude and demeanor, I enjoy to joke around, to tease people, and have a tendency to laugh even at the most stupidest of jokes, or attempt to make a stupid joke myself, and then scold myself for it mentally. Sarcasm is a very common trait in my humor, and at times a bit too common. However, sometimes my jokes tend to be way too complicated, as they skip several steps in their logical progression. In such situations, it might take my conversation partners several minutes to actually figure out what I meant and react to said joke, when their mind finally walks through the several logical steps I skipped and reaches the funny part.
I have no particular reason to joke and tease, it's just a guilty pleasure which at times shows itself under a usually passive-aggressive, serious and physically tense shell.
I try not to be too judgemental of people, and always invent justifiable reasons as to why someone acts and should be allowed to act in a particular manner. I dislike jumping to conclusions about someone's behavior and dislike judging people for the good/bad things they do. And I get annoyed when someone tries to jump to conclusions or judge as well.
However, despite my naturally "understanding", "accepting" and "tolerant" position towards others, I still, almost instantly, upon meeting or observing a new person, want to categorize him as a "simpleton" or as an "aristocrat." Hence, my mind "sorts" people into 2 groups in a very elitist and judgemental manner, but despite this fact, I still treat "simpletons" and "aristocrats" as equals and approach their behavior in an equally understanding and accepting manner. (but I'm nevertheless more excited about communicating with those whom I categorize as "aristocratic")
I think I mostly prefer emotional harmony, and get easily irritated when there's conflict between different members of the group. However, just because I'm irritated by lack of emotional harmony doesn't mean I act to restore order. On the contrary, I feel "insulted" by the lack of acceptance and understanding within a group, and my usual reaction to insults tends to be cold, aggressive, challenging and stand-off-ish.
"If you want a fight so much, fine, I'll give you a fight you'll never forget!"
When I work or help others
I hate work, and prefer to live in my usual routine-less, responsibility-less world, full of fantasies and experiments. But despite this, whenever I am told to work, I tend to beat everyone at it. I like to not only prove that I'm competent, talented and skilled, but must absolutely prove that I am more competent, more talented and more skilled than anyone else. Hence, even though I avoid work when nobody obliges me to work, when someone obliges me to do a job or asks for help, I'll overdo it 3-fold. Just few weeks ago, when my whole team at the office was out for holidays/volunteering, and I had to support the workload of the entire team by my lonesome self, I overexerted myself to the point of actually not just supporting, but accomplishing the work of 4 people by myself. And then got many raised eyebrows from management. (needless to say, my head hurt all evening and night after that, since I've kept it in a focused state for 8 hours straight)
Likewise, when someone asks me to help, I feel just as obliged to meet their expectations 3-fold. Never leaving the job half-done, never fully-done, and always overdone!
Insecurities
I feel ashamed, that despite my seemingly good understanding of the physical/mechanical nature of the world and of my body, I still haven't forced myself to learn to swim and drive a car. I can understand any physical skill/action in a very detailed logical way, and even duplicate and predict any physical phenomenon in my imagination. But due to my excessive level of caution towards the physical world, I tend to often abstain from doing the physical things I desire to do and would certainly enjoy to do - because I'm either too scared or too lazy to do/learn them.
What's my Quadra and what's my type?
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