Being dominant is approximately the worst thing that can happen to you
You have ambition, you miss life
you are not able to put aside goal for love like creative
your way of viewing life is necessarely wronged by the psychological investment you have in your goal/interrest
You can't meet your goal as if it was a kind of fatality
Anyway you are not the person you need to be for accomplishing your goal
The purpose of life is to not be that annoying to ppl who live life (that is not that aggravating)
I think being dominant is somewhat related to being a narcissist
Are you talking about the Dominant subtype? It is a good subtype. Much easier to accomplish things.
The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.
(Jung on Si)
I read that dominant have really hard time to meet their goal. Yes they accomplish things, but at the end the desesperation toward inability to meet their goal (this can go to fanatism wich can made them depressed probably) lead to inactivity or obsession (wich is still activity but useless for society and useless for the goal the dominant have). Look at the depression sub reddit : you have a bunch of ppl who speak about their goal and their lack of ability to meet them, they find that they don't have energy and stuff (even if energy don't exist in the first time, it should be created more than anything, it's as if they was looking themself not acting and was depressed because their natural state was inaction when they don't have the intention to move lol).
I melt what Ive read to what I understand to what Im in life but IDK if I'm a dominant so that it's perhaps not true so I don't know if Im interpreting all this correctly (I don't know my subtype at all)
Accomplishment is how you build self-esteem on a foundation that isn't external affirmation ( aka narcissism)
"You have ambition, you miss [out on] life."
Different strokes for different folks. I like to enjoy myself, and Im not very ambitious, but I do take care of 3 people who can't support themselves and I sure as fuck would rather be the miserable ambitious guy, and not the happy satisfied guy in this situation.
For the most part, life isn't about you. Learning that is a part of growing up.
Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.
Im going through a similar thing myself. Props for bringing to the forefront.
(I'm obviously aware of what you say Pookie "life isn't about you, you are a moron, you are shit" and all that jazz I'm just unable to work on it. Aka narcissism as you said.)
Last edited by noaydi; 07-25-2018 at 03:34 PM.
Eos nothing to add if you have the same annoying issue ?
I don't know if I'm about to say the most type seven thing to ever be sevened - but sometimes there's a lot of fun in never reaching the goal. Because then you're just done. And that's more depressing than not getting what you're chasing.
If you're always chasing, moving the goal posts further, dreaming bigger then there's always fun and purpose to what you're doing.
I don't know enough to relate this back to DCNH subtypes but I guess you just shouldn't be so quick to say not hitting the target = depression and a pointless, narcissist existence
"I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
- Carrie Fisher
your POV seem really cool way of living lol ! I coudn't be like that ^^ (I think I'm more EII than SLI I forgotten to change my type on my presentation - still not sure thought)....
Yes I could say that, even worst lol, so now I can understand IEE can take this badly for themself... I spoke only for myself when I say that but for you it seem a kind of philosophy of life, my view is more materialistic in some way. anyway I understand that it can be not that pointless, it's just life after all. Sometime I think that but as a judging person, what the FUCKING POINT
Well I dont know how to frame it in a socionics sense. The theme is similar: having ambitions, things not paning out, a pattern makes you think there is something wrong about this operating system, General frustration, hamster spinning wheel, neccessity to get things going, yet this seemingly getting in my own way.
In all I don't know if what I say is related to subtype. Anyway the impression that Ive something wrong come from a long time and I almost come to socionic due to that. Amount of neurosis > 100%
I feel like the issue is less about ambition and having goals but how you relate your self-worth to those goals. The issue isn't narcissism or dominant subtype. It's the idea of you only being happy with yourself when you achieve a goal. But, like I said earlier, once you do that you don't get a happy life because then you're just done. So then comes the next goal and more delayed happiness and on and on. So the original post should be "being an unhealthy dominant is the worst thing to happen to you"
but also my ambitions usually pan out since I'm not overly ambitious and usually flexible / non-perfectionist about results so maybe I just haven't experienced the true horror of working towards something only to have life sucker punch me repeatedly (yet)
"I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
- Carrie Fisher
from what I read narcissism is more about ultra lofty dreams (perfect love, being praised by everyone, etc) than the accomplishment problematic, and there is competition, need for admiration, etc, all that excessively. The basis of personnal accomplishment is probably the same for everyone (??? not sure) this is probably not a usefull way for determining if someone is narcissist or not ? Idk. Perhaps if the person ressort only on this to understand life. <----- BS I don't think soAccomplishment is how you build self-esteem on a foundation that isn't external affirmation ( aka narcissism)
What you speak about could be self esteem yes, or a part of it. The esteem wich say "yes, I'm valuable for the accomplishment Ive choosed"
I feel like the issue is less about ambition and having goals but how you relate your self-worth to those goals. The issue isn't narcissism or dominant subtype. It's the idea of you only being happy with yourself when you achieve a goal. But, like I said earlier, once you do that you don't get a happy life because then you're just done. So then comes the next goal and more delayed happiness and on and on. So the original post should be "being an unhealthy dominant is the worst thing to happen to you"
but also my ambitions usually pan out since I'm not overly ambitious and usually flexible / non-perfectionist about results so maybe I just haven't experienced the true horror of working towards something only to have life sucker punch me repeatedly (yet)
yes I agree with that. I know already all that and i ALMOst renamed this post "weak dominant" 30 min ago.
Last edited by noaydi; 07-26-2018 at 01:28 PM.
I don't feel related to any of this at all. I'm not even sure of getting right what you are trying to say.Originally Posted by noaydi
Then, in the context you are speaking, what if, for example, your goal/interest is love?
And no, I don't think D in Si types makes us more narcissistic than others. I think caregiver and narcissism are opposite styles.
Last edited by Hope; 07-25-2018 at 06:30 PM.
Hey, I'm EII, not SLI, I forgotten to change my type. I think the same for caregiver. Even if a ton of not caregiver seem to project their problem on them (like I do).
Interest in love was music but I try to change this as Ive done approximately what I wanted. There is some stuff I like in "regular interest" too like computerscience
edit : I don't know how "dominant" or ambitious or whatever type of SLI set goal, or if they are somewhat remotely similar problems ? If you can share it could be interesting ? Ive read a SLI who said that he had some goals, but it wasn't aggravating if he didn't meet them in life ? Is it goals related to Si ? I'm interested just you aren't forced to share
Last edited by noaydi; 07-25-2018 at 05:15 PM.
to be dominant is to get what you want and like
that sounds pretty bdsm, sol.
If you achieve mastery over yourself, and control your own destiny, then you will feel no desire to control others in order to shore up your ego. It is appropriate to have goals, but one must always be ready to alter the method in order to achieve them, as your circumstances will change and new, better opportunities will present themselves to you. What seems ridiculous now may turn out to be ingenious later.
The kind of dominance you describe is simply coercion, and that always stems from an insecurity. It is narcissistic for someone to believe that they are an arbiter of good and evil. People like this are taking the law into their own hands, placing themselves above God.
Last edited by Spermatozoa; 07-26-2018 at 03:25 AM.
To be truly dominant is to master the Law of Least Effort, and get what you want and like without doing any apparent work.
Lots of guys get pussy, so that's not a good benchmark to set. Instead ask them how easy it was.
If you want an idea of your power or Se style "dominance" (note that this is not the same as mental "dominance", which is concision) in any given area, calculate how much time/effort you expend to achieve your desired outcome, compared to the average.
Last edited by Spermatozoa; 07-26-2018 at 03:46 AM.
Dude okay I know I'm weak unhealthy and stuff, it's okay. (You sound like ENFJ isn't it ?)If you achieve mastery over yourself, and control your own destiny, then you will feel no desire to control others in order to shore up your ego. It is appropriate to have goals, but one must always be ready to alter the method in order to achieve them, as your circumstances will change and new, better opportunities will present themselves to you. What seems ridiculous now may turn out to be ingenious later.
The kind of dominance you describe is simply coercion, and that always stems from an insecurity. It is narcissistic for someone to believe that they are an arbiter of good and evil. People like this are taking the law into their own hands, placing themselves above God.
The problem here is that you are posing the problem only in your way (ie Se style). Basically, if you don't have Se, so you stay in your bed forever and do nothing and this is your destiny (law of least effort).
projectionthat sounds pretty bdsm, sol.
If dominant is to get what want/like etc, then I'm not and Im probably in hell or something lol
because bdsm is a particular case of dominancy and victim behavior
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