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Thread: Could a NF actually be a SF? Why it’s possible to get yourself wrong...

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    Default Could a NF actually be a SF? Why it’s possible to get yourself wrong...

    A long winded post about SEI vs EII; typing is a changing facet. Feedback is welcome, particularly from SEIs who can hopefully advise if my conclusions are sensible or not


    For a long time I have identified more with Fi/Ne ego in both mbti and socionics than the proposed Si/Fe ego typing that others have given me...primarily because I can’t see any case of me being ‘strong’ at Se and weaker at Ne. I have prided myself on being imaginative, considering all possibilities...in my own head a lot, dreamy, poetic... the stereotypes that SEI are not supposed to embody.


    Yet, despite my disagreements with SEI being an option for myself, I have recently been focusing on the outside in, analysing how I am reacting in my new job situation, what my natural way of being is when I am not plagued by anxiety; for a long time I have felt non type-able due to my neurotic nerves. Another reason why I doubted I could be an Ip type. There’s no way you would call be ‘laidback and easygoing’. Except...on further reading I’ve discovered that it’s actually the stable temperaments I.e. Ijs and Ejs who come across as unflappably in control while Ips can come across as calming and accepting but also moody and changeable. Which perhaps explains my temperament better. I can be easygoing with others and have been told that I am a calming welcoming influence on others, gentle, shy yet accommodating.


    But what about my lack of will power volitional sensing? I can’t deny that I’m not good with Se. SEIs are meant to be good but ignoring of it. I can’t see a case for me being good at it or even Si. Though I am learning through my new job and growing esteem that I am not as bad as I have believe I have been. I did an abseil for charity last year off a 7 story building. I wasn’t fearless. But I wanted to challenge myself and have the experience. And I’ve also felt gross and unfashionable for my whole adolescent and young adult life (I saw my clumsiness with colours and makeup as proof of weak Si). But I am hopefully finding my stride now and on looking back at some of my outfit choices, experimental and formal occasion wear, I wasn’t actually as terrible as I thought I looked. So my point is maybe the things I believed I sucked at are actually the things I am now realising that I was never that weak at in the first place?


    Who knows? I also didn’t see myself as a caregiver. Pseudocaregiver or Victim as more likely. But I would say I do naturally fall into the roll of looking after others needs, giving them a emotional, mental and physical ‘safe space’. I kinda adapt to what others need and expect from me. Sounds a bit doormat-like when I put it like this. I do tend to neglect my own preferences and needs for others but only up to a certain point. I do try to look after my own physical mental and emotional well-being, usually by retreating into daydream, curled up in fluffy bed socks with a book land.


    I relate more to fictional types SEIs than EIIs; I can see myself more in the overarching characterisations of those who are soft spoken, friendly, try to see the positives while sometimes being a bit insecure and unsure of their abilities. Maybe a hallmark of weak valued Ne is the fact that I see mostly negative possibilities or none at all, and freak myself out?


    Anyways, I find it harder now to be firm in my EII self typing. I always thought if I wasn’t EII I was definitely IEI or an intuitive. Sensors get bad raps. Little wonder why I’ve stifled the prospect of being one for a long time. Who wants to admit out loud to even their self that they’re not a fantastical N unicorn creature and instead typecast as a hedonist with no imagination or integrity?


    Again, thank you to anyone who’s read this all through. Any feedback from typed Alpha SFs or Delta NFs would be helpful for further clarity

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    you need interactions with ILE

    look at ILE bloggers from my list

    this may help you to become sure in SEI

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    In the area where I live the distinction between EII and SEI is simple. You are either religious and practising, god loving abstinent and drug fearing person, or satan worshipping, heavy-metal lover with drug and alcohol habit.

    EII women versus SEI women are a lot more talkative. The Ne likes to talk a lot and especially in women. Suggest them subject and they can't stop, once started they go from subject to subject.

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    yeah where I live all the EII women are thin and quiet and the SEI women are fat and loud

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    where I live all the EII women have green hair and bushy eyebrows, and the SEI women are dwarfs with beards.

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    I love big brows but not when they're perpetually furrowed like in SLE or EIE more like dakota fanning. too mobile brows like emilia clark freak me out too. @Adam Strange

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    So far what I’ve gleaned is I am a perfect blend of both because I am absitinent and drug fearing yet also started a rumour in my friendship group at school that I was having flings with Satan who kept my virginity in a jar under his bed.

    I also am quiet yet fat/chubby. I have bushy eyebrows (not green hair) but also a dwarf (not bearded thank gosh!). So going by the criteria mentioned...I’m a hybrid that has beaten the system, who is very aware that the trait vs trait mentions are absurd jokes and not really the truth of typological differences!

    And not type related but I actually find Emelia’s eyebrows adorable? She’s so expressive and the brows do have a life of their own, I agree

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    There quite a distance between SEI and EII but SEIs would have the most difficulty distinguishing. When really trying to figure something out, SEIs will often seek out others for a group discussion or some one-on-one while EIIs will likely go off by themselves. When under stress, SEIs will often drop their normally defensive stances and try some unchecked experimentation, while EIIs will often forsake their idealistic morality and get angry or aggressive....

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    There quite a distance between SEI and EII but SEIs would have the most difficulty distinguishing. When really trying to figure something out, SEIs will often seek out others for a group discussion or some one-on-one while EIIs will likely go off by themselves. When under stress, SEIs will often drop their normally defensive stances and try some unchecked experimentation, while EIIs will often forsake their idealistic morality and get angry or aggressive....

    a.k.a. I/O
    I tend to try and figure out things by myself but when stuck, I do need external objective input to help me see situations and all the angles clearly. And under stress I freeze up, can become tearful and disgruntled, retreat from everyone and everyday situations...hibernating in my room. Stress doesn’t make me aggressive I don’t think, maybe more on edge and defensive...

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    Quote Originally Posted by FlutteringShyxx View Post
    I tend to try and figure out things by myself but when stuck, I do need external objective input to help me see situations and all the angles clearly. And under stress I freeze up, can become tearful and disgruntled, retreat from everyone and everyday situations...hibernating in my room. Stress doesn’t make me aggressive I don’t think, maybe more on edge and defensive...
    The way you phrased the first sentences implies more of an Ij-configuration. The second sentence seems to describe insecurity more than overwhelming, can't-cope stress; and hibernating behaviour while rationalizing is normal for Ijs. Trying to find a rationalization for one's own behaviour is also normal for Ijs - Ips not nearly as much. Ips may have a defensive nature but this certainly doesn't imply insecurity - think of a defensive sports team. Referring to your third sentence, if you never feel aggressive then perhaps indignant toward others, which is a milder form. If you're below the age of 25, I wouldn't fix on a type until brain development is complete.

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by Rebelondeck View Post
    The way you phrased the first sentences implies more of an Ij-configuration. The second sentence seems to describe insecurity more than overwhelming, can't-cope stress; and hibernating behaviour while rationalizing is normal for Ijs. Trying to find a rationalization for one's own behaviour is also normal for Ijs - Ips not nearly as much. Ips may have a defensive nature but this certainly doesn't imply insecurity - think of a defensive sports team. Referring to your third sentence, if you never feel aggressive then perhaps indignant toward others, which is a milder form. If you're below the age of 25, I wouldn't fix on a type until brain development is complete.

    a.k.a. I/O
    i would say indignant more so. Offended, and I suppose snappy. I do feel so terrible once I have calmed down back to non stress mode and realise how irritable, or even outright torrential I have been acting.

    Yeah, I am overthinking the overthinking of typing. Self typing I have seen EII as more plausible than SEI but I am now at a new place in my life externally (new job, distancing from harmful influences from my past in the form of toxic friendships) and I am wanting to review all the evidence again and question from a different angle. Since there has been a case for SEI also and I don’t want to discard that notion any more. So it helps talking to those who know more about how SEIs orientate, and how actually all the types in general manifest in real day to day life. It helps me to reflect on what fits and doesn’t fit my own patterns as well as tenitively figure out what my families types could be.

    thank you for your help

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    Quote Originally Posted by FlutteringShyxx View Post
    So it helps talking to those who know more about how SEIs orientate, and how actually all the types in general manifest in real day to day life.
    look at my bloggers types examples. you may even talk with some of them
    also type people near you

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    Quote Originally Posted by FlutteringShyxx View Post
    Anyways, I find it harder now to be firm in my EII self typing. I always thought if I wasn’t EII I was definitely IEI or an intuitive. Sensors get bad raps. Little wonder why I’ve stifled the prospect of being one for a long time. Who wants to admit out loud to even their self that they’re not a fantastical N unicorn creature and instead typecast as a hedonist with no imagination or integrity?
    Lol, well I read your whole post, and I just wanted to say I understand where you're coming from here xD It took me about a year to admit to myself that I was a sensor, when I was getting into myers briggs way back in the past. It didn't help that mbti doesn't cover how types have natural dual-seeking functions that cause them to want more of the other information elements in their lives. I always valued intuition, even if I wasn't as good at it. It's commonly assumed that sensors just don't care about intuition and vice versa, which was definitely not true for me (or, I think, for most people).

    Judging by your post it's hard to tell, could go towards intuitive or sensor, imo. Anyways, sensors have no less imagination or integrity than intuitives, so I wouldn't feel bad about the possibility of being one, lol xD The plus side of these typing systems is they help you acknowledge your greatest strengths, whatever those are.

    I sympathize with your anxiety and nerves. I deal with a lot of those myself, although people often comment that I look relaxed and at ease. I expend a great deal of effort on this, actually, to keep a good social vibe going, but internally I deal with a lot of strain. If you've been told you have a calming, welcoming influence on others even though you feel nervous, that does make me think you could be Si-dom. But I'm not sure if I know what a nervous EII would be like to compare

    I used to think I was an INFP (in mbti) for a while. I tend to retreat to my own internal world a lot. I realized I was a sensor when I examined the content of my fantasies and daydreams--they were mostly centered on physical experiences of beauty and other sensory pleasures. Whereas intutives may think of more abstract things. When you daydream, think about the place you most want to go to relax and recharge.

    I do not have the strategic ability of IEIs and ILIs to predict the behavior of others and figure out how to skillfully manipulate them in advance. Are you good at judging where a relationship or situation is going to go ahead of time?

    If you are EII, then you have a strong ability to see potential in people (Ne). If you are SEI, then you love and thrive on people who can help you see the as-yet unrealized potential in ideas, and yourself. EII might look for people who can help take care of their health (Si-seeking). I know EIIs who are very health-conscious but need lots of social support in their initiatives here, doubting their own compentence in that area. Do you like it when others help organize and structure your activities? EII also seeks this. I do not like this, as a SEI. I like when someone else helps structure my thoughts, concepts, and worldview, but not my day-to-day activities.

    You said you're probably a victim or a pseudocaregiver. I would read more about these and think about which of the roles really sounds most appealing, maybe look at examples of beta duality and delta duality in the forums. Also consider alpha caregiver, just in case. Think about how you would most naturally like to behave in a romantic relationship, and how you would want your partner to behave. I would think this would be a really obvious telling point. There's some pretty strong feelings associated with the different romance styles, since they're so instinctive, imo.

    Hope this helps! I like your avatar, btw

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    Wow @Xaiviay your feedback was so extensive, thank you

    in response to your thought provoking questions; LONG WALL OF TEXT ALERT!!


    The plus side of these typing systems is they help you acknowledge your greatest strengths, whatever those are. <<this is why I wanted to get into typology in the first place, to discover what parts of me are good on as opposed to just someone who is just their anxiety. Thank you for your sympathy and I’m sorry to hear that you’ve had a similar experience.


    I’m not quite sure how I really do come across as; I’ve had some say that I am quiet and detached before they got to know me. Others like my new manager openly call me ‘sweet and lovely’. And I do get good customer feedback, being called compassionate, helpful, kind. So I don’t think I make waves exactly and offend people, but I guess I do come across as quite guarded and a little shy/nervous. I don’t tend to share a lot of my feelings and hold a lot of thoughts private, though am getting a bit better at telling people about my interests and what I’m doing or plan to do. For example, I am going to Dublin next week and my colleagues know all about my plan to do the Game of Thrones tour and visit the zoo. This is easy conversation for me. Anything to do with my inner sentiments, state of mind and health is not easy for me to talk to people about. Which is why I did think that I wasn’t even a Fe creative since I don’t personally see myself as being bubbly and creating a social vibe like you described. But then again, maybe externally I come across as this.
    . I realized I was a sensor when I examined the content of my fantasies and daydreams--they were mostly centered on physical experiences of beauty and other sensory pleasures. Whereas intutives may think of more abstract things. When you daydream, think about the place you most want to go to relax and recharge. >>I daydream about going on adventures to some new world, alone or with people I am close to or even fictional characters. I immerse myself in this ‘new world’ and do imagine conversations and relationships a lot...what emotions they would invoke within me... with fantasy like surroundings. I have daydreamed before that I was one of the Elves from Lord of the Rings and was figuring out a way to stop Sauron with mind manipulation magic haha! I kinda insert myself in the middle of a situation, imagine how I would think, feel and react in the same boat. I do like contemplating what ‘mysteries’ exist in the world, such as the Bermuda Triangle; what are the possibilities as to what the Triangle is and why it seems to swallow up board and planes? Ok, I enjoy a good conspiracy


    Are you good at judging where a relationship or situation is going to go ahead of time? >> I’m not too sure? Maybe on a subconscious level? I can see if a relationship is strained and tenuous or close and loyal. But I can’t fathom the twists and turns in a situation. I can make guesses but I don’t like to have a fatalistic view of life. I like to believe that a negative situation can be resolved with an ingenious act in the 11th hour.


    . Do you like it when others help organize and structure your activities? EII also seeks this. I do not like this, as a SEI. I like when someone else helps structure my thoughts, concepts, and worldview, but not my day-to-day activities. >> I do like taking care of my wellbeing physically and mentally. And I am lately trying more ‘pampering indulgences’ such as manicures, honeyed baths and quality makeup. I feel a bit guilty giving myself treats and maintenance, let alone having others, even a professional, give me treatment as I don’t relax easily however so I kinda need a nudge from others to take time for myself. Which is why I did doubt SEI, because I know I do want to feel and look healthy and vital yet I can’t seem to manage this on my own? I don’t know what I need to do in order to achieve the results I want.


    Think about how you would most naturally like to behave in a romantic relationship, and how you would want your partner to behave. >> I would most naturally be really shy at first, then come out my shell a little and be very caring, careful, committed hopefully showing a more witty fun side. I would like a partner to be considerate towards my needs too, perhaps pick up on signs that I am uneasy and being able to sooth the tension or work with me to find the cause and figure a solution, and to not hurry me or try to force me to change. I like feeling protected and safe


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    Thank you anyways for your honest input

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    Quote Originally Posted by FlutteringShyxx View Post
    Thank you anyways for your honest input
    No problem! I don't mind your 'wall of text' either, I hope you didn't mind my long response xD

    Well for what it's worth you do remind me of myself a lot, haha, but it doesn't necessarily mean we are the same type.

    Good for you for getting out there and talking with people more, I know that can be a personal challenge! Well I think both SEIs and EIIs tend to be really kind and compasionate towards others. I get told I'm both closed off and sweet, depending on who I talk to. It's more comfortable for me to discuss plans and stuff than my state of mind and health, too. It's because they are less sensitive and personal, and people usually respond better to topics like the former ones. I'm not sure how this would relate to the information elements, honestly! Maybe someone else can be of help, here?

    I used to fantasize about LOTR a lot, too. I love the elves so much. I like to think about the emotions between myself and the other people. Sometimes I like to throw myself into the middle of a story, too, and conspiracies and mysteries are always fascinating to me. But my mind is better at coming up with aesthetic details on it's own, than these more abstract ideas (which I need more stimulation from the outside world to supply). Since you seem to be really good at creating more storylines and esoteric situations by yourself, and fixating less on the aesthetic experience of the fantasy, I'm guessing you're leaning towards intuitive
    Are you good at judging where a relationship or situation is going to go ahead of time? >> I’m not too sure? Maybe on a subconscious level? I can see if a relationship is strained and tenuous or close and loyal. But I can’t fathom the twists and turns in a situation. I can make guesses but I don’t like to have a fatalistic view of life. I like to believe that a negative situation can be resolved with an ingenious act in the 11th hour.
    This does sound like Ni role to me (SEI) more than Ni-dom (IEI), but it could possibly be Ni-demonstrative (EII) if you're not used to considering that you might be really good at Ni. Here I'm leaning towards SEI, but you might find out whether you're really good with Ni or not by testing it in the future!

    . Do you like it when others help organize and structure your activities? EII also seeks this. I do not like this, as a SEI. I like when someone else helps structure my thoughts, concepts, and worldview, but not my day-to-day activities. >> I do like taking care of my wellbeing physically and mentally. And I am lately trying more ‘pampering indulgences’ such as manicures, honeyed baths and quality makeup. I feel a bit guilty giving myself treats and maintenance, let alone having others, even a professional, give me treatment as I don’t relax easily however so I kinda need a nudge from others to take time for myself. Which is why I did doubt SEI, because I know I do want to feel and look healthy and vital yet I can’t seem to manage this on my own? I don’t know what I need to do in order to achieve the results I want.
    Hmm okay, sometimes I hesitate to take care of myself physically too...but also it's usually out of laziness (ugh) rather than not knowing what I should do. Your perspective on this reminds me of an EII friend of mine who needs encouragement and practical suggestions to take care of herself. So I'm leaning towards EII for you, again

    Think about how you would most naturally like to behave in a romantic relationship, and how you would want your partner to behave. >> I would most naturally be really shy at first, then come out my shell a little and be very caring, careful, committed hopefully showing a more witty fun side. I would like a partner to be considerate towards my needs too, perhaps pick up on signs that I am uneasy and being able to sooth the tension or work with me to find the cause and figure a solution, and to not hurry me or try to force me to change. I like feeling protected and safe
    Yes this sounds to me most like EII! Sounds like you seek caregiving (Si) in the form of soothing out the tensions, and giving childlike Ne by showing your witty fun side. I would also guess that your desire to feel protected and safe could be a desire for demonstrative (but not base-function!) Se, which would come from EII's dual.

    So my vote for you is EII, as far as I can tell Still, consider that you might be better at sensing activities than you've thought in the past, you might surprise yourself! Explore your Ni, as well, when you can. As others have suggested, your type will become clearer to you as you grow older and further discover your most natural talents. Best of luck with your job, with your upcoming trip, and everything else!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Xaiviay View Post
    No problem! I don't mind your 'wall of text' either, I hope you didn't mind my long response xD

    Well for what it's worth you do remind me of myself a lot, haha, but it doesn't necessarily mean we are the same type.

    Good for you for getting out there and talking with people more, I know that can be a personal challenge! Well I think both SEIs and EIIs tend to be really kind and compasionate towards others. I get told I'm both closed off and sweet, depending on who I talk to. It's more comfortable for me to discuss plans and stuff than my state of mind and health, too. It's because they are less sensitive and personal, and people usually respond better to topics like the former ones. I'm not sure how this would relate to the information elements, honestly! Maybe someone else can be of help, here?

    I used to fantasize about LOTR a lot, too. I love the elves so much. I like to think about the emotions between myself and the other people. Sometimes I like to throw myself into the middle of a story, too, and conspiracies and mysteries are always fascinating to me. But my mind is better at coming up with aesthetic details on it's own, than these more abstract ideas (which I need more stimulation from the outside world to supply). Since you seem to be really good at creating more storylines and esoteric situations by yourself, and fixating less on the aesthetic experience of the fantasy, I'm guessing you're leaning towards intuitive
    This does sound like Ni role to me (SEI) more than Ni-dom (IEI), but it could possibly be Ni-demonstrative (EII) if you're not used to considering that you might be really good at Ni. Here I'm leaning towards SEI, but you might find out whether you're really good with Ni or not by testing it in the future!

    Hmm okay, sometimes I hesitate to take care of myself physically too...but also it's usually out of laziness (ugh) rather than not knowing what I should do. Your perspective on this reminds me of an EII friend of mine who needs encouragement and practical suggestions to take care of herself. So I'm leaning towards EII for you, again


    Yes this sounds to me most like EII! Sounds like you seek caregiving (Si) in the form of soothing out the tensions, and giving childlike Ne by showing your witty fun side. I would also guess that your desire to feel protected and safe could be a desire for demonstrative (but not base-function!) Se, which would come from EII's dual.

    So my vote for you is EII, as far as I can tell Still, consider that you might be better at sensing activities than you've thought in the past, you might surprise yourself! Explore your Ni, as well, when you can. As others have suggested, your type will become clearer to you as you grow older and further discover your most natural talents. Best of luck with your job, with your upcoming trip, and everything else!
    i think SEI and EIIs do come across as really similar so it is confusing!thanks again for your advice as an SEI it has helped

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    Quote Originally Posted by FlutteringShyxx View Post
    i think SEI and EIIs do come across as really similar
    If someone regularly sees as close so different types - it's just bad typing skills.

    During the normal typing (by normal theory), when you see the human and may talk with him (or at least watch how he talks with others, tells something), the most clear differences between types are (in order):
    - dichotomies (except mb J/P)
    - variant of the function in ego (Fe or Fi, etc.)
    - valued functions
    - model A traits
    - ...
    Also you have IR impressions related to your own type. Types of orderer link have rather different IR groups.

    EII and SEI have 1 clear different dichotomy, different F in ego, different IR impressions. As relatively close mb called types differing on 1 dichotomy, mirror. Types having one same ego function, when IR effects are not clear.

    With your video I had no doubts that EII is not your type. Doubts were between SEI and IEI.

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    @FlutteringShyxx: you know, you could talk and write long posts until Kingdom Come and you still won't have an answer. For nothing of what you have written so far is really type related. Not even your writing style clarifies anything.

    Why don't you post a pic or a short video of yourself, it will settle the matter in 5 minutes!

    ETA:

    are you the person in this video:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViVpFsFpMdY

    If so, SEI, without a shred of doubt.
    Last edited by consentingadult; 07-08-2018 at 11:49 AM.
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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    Quote Originally Posted by consentingadult View Post
    @FlutteringShyxx: you know, you could talk and write long posts until Kingdom Come and you still won't have an answer. For nothing of what you have written so far is really type related. Not even your writing style clarifies anything.

    Why don't you post a pic or a short video of yourself, it will settle the matter in 5 minutes!

    ETA:

    are you the person in this video:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ViVpFsFpMdY

    If so, SEI, without a shred of doubt.
    embarassingly, that is me (I cringe so bad at my lack of makeup and awkward stammering)

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    Type 9 certainly muddies the waters when you try to tell IxFx types apart from each other. Because the 9ness makes the person try hard to keep up the harmony by being adaptive. In that sense, their "real" personality often doesn't shine through.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Olimpia View Post
    Type 9 certainly muddies the waters when you try to tell IxFx types apart from each other. Because the 9ness makes the person try hard to keep up the harmony by being adaptive. In that sense, their "real" personality often doesn't shine through.
    Oh, do you think the OP might be a 9? Or were you referring to me

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    Yeah. I really think SEI with less change of EII. Did you mention that you tend to lack straightforward thinking? Like connecting pieces together to make a plan out of various sources (while not having so much trouble with between stuff). That makes me think SEI.


    Comparison for the contrary: I really have to stop to think about all the minor stuff and not think in A>B->C->D->E [my mind fills those gaps automatically]. It can hinder me quite a bit.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Troll Nr 007 View Post
    Yeah. I really think SEI with less change of EII. Did you mention that you tend to lack straightforward thinking? Like connecting pieces together to make a plan out of various sources (while not having so much trouble with between stuff). That makes me think SEI.


    Comparison for the contrary: I really have to stop to think about all the minor stuff and not think in A>B->C->D->E [my mind fills those gaps automatically]. It can hinder me quite a bit.
    I guess I can be fixated on little details or ‘quirks’ of a situation, to the point sometimes where I’ll be unable to see the ‘overall’. I think I do tend to lack straight forwards thinking, im not even sure entirely what that encompasses.

    thanks for your feedback also

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    Quote Originally Posted by Xaiviay View Post
    Oh, do you think the OP might be a 9? Or were you referring to me
    OP might be 9 (or 4 core with a 497 tritype).

    Though I was mostly making a general statement.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Olimpia View Post
    OP might be 9 (or 4 core with a 497 tritype).

    Though I was mostly making a general statement.

    Im unsure of my enneagram, I have considered being a 6 or yeah, a 4 or 9. Either way, I kinda believe that there’s a bit of my anxiety (social anxiety) that has distorted my sense of self and how others perceive me.

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    ESE from video
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    I'm undecided between SEI and ESE
    (but not EII imo)

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cosmic Teapot View Post
    I'm undecided between SEI and ESE
    (but not EII imo)
    See, I’ve never considered that I would be an extroverted type...if I was one I’d more likely be a Si subtype...hmmm it’s an interesting thought thougj

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    Yes, watching and listening to the actual person is a more reliable means of typing than reading their text, only. After watching your video...like the other posters, I'm thinking you look more like alpha SF than EII, and probably more like ESE than SEI You seem to be concerned with social ethics, like how people should be getting along with one another, which would also be more ESE than SEI imo.

    Did you mention you were shy? If you're ESE, you're probably good at engaging others in conversation and creating a positive social atmosphere, even if you are shy Just a thought.

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    @FlutteringShyxx - you remind me a lot in your video of my sister-in-law (SEI). You might come across more shy than her though. But you don't really seem EII to me. I've attached a few photos of her below.

    EDIT: Interestingly, she's also expressed thinking herself that she's basically a mess and kind of sloppy, but she always looks cute/has good taste in clothes and chooses interesting color combinations and doesn't seem like a mess to others...

    34412_1573932102438_7252482_n.jpg196451_1004666671158_8251_n.jpg62457_1536435005034_3538437_n.jpg

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    Quote Originally Posted by MrsTortilla View Post
    @FlutteringShyxx - you remind me a lot in your video of my sister-in-law (SEI). You might come across more shy than her though. But you don't really seem EII to me. I've attached a few photos of her below.

    EDIT: Interestingly, she's also expressed thinking herself that she's basically a mess and kind of sloppy, but she always looks cute/has good taste in clothes and chooses interesting color combinations and doesn't seem like a mess to others...

    34412_1573932102438_7252482_n.jpg196451_1004666671158_8251_n.jpg62457_1536435005034_3538437_n.jpg
    she looks really soft yet fun. Doesn’t look ‘sloppy’ like she imagines. I think it’s maybe a confidence thing with us. You sister in law does have a real charming smile in the middle one, like an impish Audrey Hepburn/Amelie Poulain grin. Thank you for sharing your input about my ‘case’

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    The thing is about ESE typing is that I don’t relate to the overall descriptors of the type and SEI would fit better in theory. Perhaps I have been leaning a lot on Fi demonstrative and Fe creative? I have felt so anxious and down about myself for a long time, since high school, so in hindsight it makes sense that I would automatically disregard and downplay my strengths. So when SEI has been suggested, I have thought close minded my ‘“nope. I am awful at making things including myself look nice and smoothing over disharmony”. Also, I have seen myself as very introverted, in my bowm headspace a lot of the time and retreating from the world. But perhaps that’s more to do with feeling overwhelmed by the surrounding world? As opposed to being intuitive?

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    Quote Originally Posted by FlutteringShyxx View Post
    Also, I have seen myself as very introverted, in my bowm headspace a lot of the time and retreating from the world. But perhaps that’s more to do with feeling overwhelmed by the surrounding world? As opposed to being intuitive?
    Yup, that's totally possible, and quite normal for SEI. Myself, I struggle a lot with feeling overwhelmed and escaping in my mind.

    I'm sorry you've felt so down about yourself that you would disregard your strengths. I hope that changes and you see yourself better soon <3 It sounds like you get a lot of good customer feedback at work and you're already making a lot of progress by challenging yourself and coming out of your shell, sharing your plans with other people more!

    I was thinking ESE with a strong Si subtype, but SEI is likely, too. You're better at judging your own type than strangers on the internet, so what you think is what really matters. Either way, you're probably better at Si things than you've previously thought!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Xaiviay View Post
    Yup, that's totally possible, and quite normal for SEI. Myself, I struggle a lot with feeling overwhelmed and escaping in my mind.

    I'm sorry you've felt so down about yourself that you would disregard your strengths. I hope that changes and you see yourself better soon <3 It sounds like you get a lot of good customer feedback at work and you're already making a lot of progress by challenging yourself and coming out of your shell, sharing your plans with other people more!

    I was thinking ESE with a strong Si subtype, but SEI is likely, too. You're better at judging your own type than strangers on the internet, so what you think is what really matters. Either way, you're probably better at Si things than you've previously thought!
    I am kind of embarrassed to be myself? I don’t feel entirely like I am taken seriously by others and that they just see a doormat to stomp all over or a naive ditz to make fun of. And all the stereotypes in the community about how Sensors are shallow and dumb while Intuitives are magically smart...I guess it has stuck in my throat for a long time, this low sense of self and realistic overall assessment of who I am. SEIs are like the Robins of the world; and no one wants to be a Robin over a Batman. You know, maybe I need a Ne ego to broaden my beliefs and give me insight into what my actual potential is :0

    or explore typed Alpha SFs to understand the nuances of them both positive and areas of improvement. And just appreciate the heck out of them.

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    BG was mistyped as SEI for years. But he's an E9 EII. I think enneagram played a part in his being thought of as SEI.

    I have an SEI brother, though, and he's a 9. I'd say a telling difference between SEI and EII is the PoLR.
    Try to dominate the person's personal space (like go into their room while they're in there and move stuff around, or even throw away stuff that seriously looks like trash) and see how they react. The EII will probably be uncomfortable about it but not protest much. The SEI will probably get angry and defensive and retaliate, 9 or not.

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    Abbie is so boring and rigid it's awesome instead of boring and rigid. She seems so practical and down-to-the-ground.

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    Well, I think in Russia (after watching LiveSocionicsStudio https://vimeo.com/livesocionics) IEI is perceived as the ultimate fool (especially normalizing subtype of IEI ̣⨪ the ones that are bit like ditsy SLI.)

    https://vimeo.com/141331779

    For some reason SLE is perceived very differently from ESTP MBTI type. Like with some respect, maybe.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FlutteringShyxx View Post
    I am kind of embarrassed to be myself? I don’t feel entirely like I am taken seriously by others and that they just see a doormat to stomp all over or a naive ditz to make fun of. And all the stereotypes in the community about how Sensors are shallow and dumb while Intuitives are magically smart...I guess it has stuck in my throat for a long time, this low sense of self and realistic overall assessment of who I am. SEIs are like the Robins of the world; and no one wants to be a Robin over a Batman. You know, maybe I need a Ne ego to broaden my beliefs and give me insight into what my actual potential is :0

    or explore typed Alpha SFs to understand the nuances of them both positive and areas of improvement. And just appreciate the heck out of them.
    Perhaps you need to be exposed to some smart Sensing types, of whom there are a myriad out there. A person’s mental life is so much richer than any type description or outward appearance might let on. If you are Sensing dominant that certainly doesn’t preclude you from personal depth. :-)

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    Quote Originally Posted by FlutteringShyxx View Post
    I am kind of embarrassed to be myself? I don’t feel entirely like I am taken seriously by others and that they just see a doormat to stomp all over or a naive ditz to make fun of. And all the stereotypes in the community about how Sensors are shallow and dumb while Intuitives are magically smart...I guess it has stuck in my throat for a long time, this low sense of self and realistic overall assessment of who I am. SEIs are like the Robins of the world; and no one wants to be a Robin over a Batman. You know, maybe I need a Ne ego to broaden my beliefs and give me insight into what my actual potential is :0

    or explore typed Alpha SFs to understand the nuances of them both positive and areas of improvement. And just appreciate the heck out of them.
    *sighs* I do totally get where you're coming from, I used to feel the exact same way, even the same adjectives (naive, ditz, doormat).

    You seem like such a sweet, adorable person. You're making me want to aggressively boost your self image! Researching Alpha SFs and just appreciating the heck out them-good call, if you're pretty sure this could be your type.

    Director Abbie had good points about the POLR and being a 9 making the type unclear. E9 is a stereotypically SEI type, and I think I read somewhere that it has the strongest correlation with MBTI ISFP (which is still usually Socionics ISFp--not j--despite what most people seem to assume).

    If you are EII like you've thought previously, you already know why you should be proud of that type. But in case you are Alpha SF, I'm going to share some reasons to be proud (warning-loooong wall of text).

    Alpha SFs are not doormats. They may avoid conflict, but it's out of a preference for preserving harmony and well-being, not out of a lack of strength. Alpha SFs are some of the most open-minded and accepting people you will ever meet. Their curiosity for novel and untraditional things is equally as strong as ILEs and LIIs, so they will not reject such things outright. It's almost impossible to be 'too weird' for anybody from the Alpha Quadra. They may have the reputation for being 'dumb', but they are intellectually curious (Ne and Ti seeking) which can motivate them to research subjects deeply, anyway. Also their perspectives are more grounded in reality than their intuitive counterparts, so they catch things that intuitives with their 'heads in the clouds' often miss.

    Alpha SFs can talk to anybody. Most people feel safe with them and will open up about things that they wouldn't dare tell anybody else (even those who are shy or awkward tend to have this effect on others). And the SFs aren't even rattled by this, almost nothing strange or personal will bother them. It's quite a social skill. SEIs especially may come across as naive, and ESEs have a weak Ni, but they are able to compensate for this social deficite by use of excellent attention to detail. Alpha SFs pick up on non-verbal cues in conversation such as facial expressions and body language quickly and accurately. They know how anybody is feeling in response to them, immediately. Their intuition may be weak, but they still have the 'gut instinct' that is there when necessary (and I know mine works, even though I can't explain it).

    Alpha SFs have the ability to impact the emotions of others through the physical environment in powerful and deliberate ways. Want to create something with such a dramatic effect on the human psyche that people automatically stop and stare? Alpha SFs already intuitively know how that's done. This ability is not openly celebrated as much (at least in the society I come from), but try creating something and watch how your friends and acquaintances feel as they look at it.

    You can also create things that are perfectly soothing and relaxing to witness, and that skill is needed in this stressful world.

    But personally, I enjoy the dynamic impact my creations have on people more than my ability to calm them down or comfort them. Sometimes I find the emphasis on the 'caregiving' aspect of Si to miss the mark, in these written type descriptions. Yes I want to make people feel good internally, but oftentimes pleasure is obtained by invigoratingly intense and contrasting sensations, not just comfort. With Si, the SFs' sensitivity to their internal state allows them to do this without causing so much aesthetic discord that the creation becomes merely ugly. You can combine and contrast many different elements in a way that still turns out beautiful and enjoyable. So there's more to the Si/Fe abilities than just making people feel 'warm and comfortable', though that's a useful aspect to it as well.

    For ESE, who else could invigorate and 'win over' their LII dual so well? LII is a common popular ideal (think Mr. Darcy from the Jane Austen novel and how many women love him), but they are too withdrawn into their own cold, intellectual world to be easily romanced. ESEs have the influence over others of SEEs, but they're not as concerned about being perceived that way. For SEIs, who better could encourage and support the creativity of ILEs? These are some of the most accepting and open of people.

    So to sum up, I think being Alpha SF is great. If it's your type, you will find satisfaction and purpose in SF talents. It's easiest to feel good about yourself when you're doing what brings you joy and confidence, so I just hope this boosts your self image and encourages you to explore your abilities more (no matter what type you are).

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    Quote Originally Posted by FlutteringShyxx View Post
    The thing is about ESE typing is that I don’t relate to the overall descriptors of the type and SEI would fit better in theory. Perhaps I have been leaning a lot on Fi demonstrative and Fe creative? I have felt so anxious and down about myself for a long time, since high school, so in hindsight it makes sense that I would automatically disregard and downplay my strengths. So when SEI has been suggested, I have thought close minded my ‘“nope. I am awful at making things including myself look nice and smoothing over disharmony”. Also, I have seen myself as very introverted, in my bowm headspace a lot of the time and retreating from the world. But perhaps that’s more to do with feeling overwhelmed by the surrounding world? As opposed to being intuitive?
    This snippet of text is typical insecure SEI behavior: Mobilizing-Ti, constantly rationalizing and theorizing about their motivations for behavior, and being totally wrong about it. It comes down to totally unfounded speculation, which is a violation of Te principles.

    @FlutteringShyxx: you are in need of someone who takes you to arthouse movies and interesting museums. They are called ILEs. Let them do the theorizing ;-)
    “I have never tried that before, so I think I should definitely be able to do that.” --- Pippi Longstocking

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