Theoretical question: When deeply loving 2 duals ... How would different types sort out their relationship priorities, do you think? Input from all types and quadras encouraged.
" Torn between two Duals ... "
Theoretical question: When deeply loving 2 duals ... How would different types sort out their relationship priorities, do you think? Input from all types and quadras encouraged.
~* astralsilky
Each essence is a separate glass,
Through which Sun of Being’s Light is passed,
Each tinted fragment sparkles with the Sun,
A thousand colors, but the Light is One.
Jami, 15th c. Persian Poet
Post types & fully individuated before 2012 ...
Lol such an interesting hypothetical scenario.
I’d just choose the one my intuition says is the better match. The one I’m more drawn to. Plain and simple.
I also need to start a thread on polygamy vs polyandry in cultures... Or someone else can if they want to beat me to it. (Incidentally, that last statement was just an example of Se ignoring in my Model A).
~* astralsilky
Each essence is a separate glass,
Through which Sun of Being’s Light is passed,
Each tinted fragment sparkles with the Sun,
A thousand colors, but the Light is One.
Jami, 15th c. Persian Poet
Post types & fully individuated before 2012 ...
I actually did date 2 different duals while in highschool. I went further physically and relations were easier with one, but things were crazier, more fun and I had a longer history with the other. I also met this latter guy first; he was the first straight male dual around my age I’d ever met in irl I think. So he left a deep imprint on me. I even wrote poems about him. I would choose this latter guy over the formerly mentioned dual who I had smoother relations with.
I'll choose the dual who shares similar values as me.
E.g, Dual No.1 might value having a family, and loves and cherishes me deeply and wishes to start a family together with me, while Dual No.2 might have a fear of commitment and doesn't want to commit to me.
In this scenario, I'll choose Dual No.1, since I have similar values as them.
Polygamy.
Seriously, I'd say the one which seems to carry better to the future consisting of several components. It is better that way for everyone if they are not too close.
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uh the same way you'd choose between two other people you like
pros + cons, who you share the most values with, who wants a similar relationship to what you want, who has similar goals, similar lifestyles etc.
I don't see why this would be different than sorting between two people of equal caliber without socionics (and really, even if you liked a dual and a non-dual, but the non-dual with more of the above qualities would be the better relationship because the dual relationship would always have a timer on it before the contrasting lifestyles got in the way)
"I take back like half of the exclamation points.....they make me look....eager to please. Which I AM....but I don't want anyone to KNOW that"
- Carrie Fisher
In those cases usually they are gonna both leave you before you can make a choice.
Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit
I see many possibilities here.
If the choice truly exists and the partners don't run, in sorting out feelings to discover where loyalty lies could be dependent on:
How well they treat you
The qualities of their soul and sense of spiritual connection and rapport in higher compassionate ideals
How attractive they are
How good the sex is or could be
What materially could be gained from the union
What one is materially happy to give in the union
Conventional social similarities like common closer age
Geographical factors of convenience to come together
Common interests for friendship comradery
Elusive enticing factors for a more loving passionate type of union
Approval from others close to you
Common origins wrt lifestyle
Common goals wrt lifestyle
Compatible religious or spiritual beliefs
How many moods the relationship comfortably well accommodates e.g. humor
What else am I missing here?
Who you've known longer
Preexisting commitment agreements
Continue ...
~* astralsilky
Each essence is a separate glass,
Through which Sun of Being’s Light is passed,
Each tinted fragment sparkles with the Sun,
A thousand colors, but the Light is One.
Jami, 15th c. Persian Poet
Post types & fully individuated before 2012 ...
From my point of view, this situation is not manageable.
Yeah, you're right. Control is always a bit of an ego illusion anyway. Que sera, sera whatever will be, will be.Originally Posted by Delilah
~* astralsilky
Each essence is a separate glass,
Through which Sun of Being’s Light is passed,
Each tinted fragment sparkles with the Sun,
A thousand colors, but the Light is One.
Jami, 15th c. Persian Poet
Post types & fully individuated before 2012 ...
What activities do you do as an Fi type to follow your heart/listen to your feelings? How do you experience it?
~* astralsilky
Each essence is a separate glass,
Through which Sun of Being’s Light is passed,
Each tinted fragment sparkles with the Sun,
A thousand colors, but the Light is One.
Jami, 15th c. Persian Poet
Post types & fully individuated before 2012 ...
Dual or not the principle would be similar. You may love even a conflictor.
Either you are with one only, despite the feelings to others. Or you may have sexual relations with others only if all sides agree with this. In the 1st case you'll need to choose.
Polygamy is common among today Mahomethans and was widely common in the past. Today it exists widely unofficially in different forms. But if you love - you do not want to go against the wishes of your pair, you share the life of each other as equals, - you everything decide and do together. So for a polygamy (and anything significant) the agreement is neccessary. Or it's amoral and doubtful to happen if you have love indeed.
Mb taken into account, that it's often when people have other feelings and attitudes for relations, but call them as "love". If you have much better friendly (not only sexual) feelings to one than to other, the choice would be better to do by the feelings. The situations of the near equal choice with strong feelings to all should be rare.
@Sol, you helped me have a new insight. Since naturally one wants to please the one they love and wants to be in as much agreement to keep harmony as possible, always being honest and not acting without agreement in important matters ... Perhaps this accommodation can be extended to a principle of considering which partner has more naturally harmonious rules to abide by. The motive is then which relations are easily more peaceful and healthy.
~* astralsilky
Each essence is a separate glass,
Through which Sun of Being’s Light is passed,
Each tinted fragment sparkles with the Sun,
A thousand colors, but the Light is One.
Jami, 15th c. Persian Poet
Post types & fully individuated before 2012 ...
If it's all the same to you I'd rather not go into it on this thread as I don't feel comfortable. But if another opportunity arises I will make sure to answer that.
The good principle of the choice between two is which one accepts better your sincerity. That one is more yours. While with which one you need to be more restrained to be accepted - is harder partner. At least, it's the situation on the moment. Any choice has a risk, as it uses what is known now.
There are no perfect people, we adopt to them, study to love them, to be compassionate and to care about them so they were happy with us and in return made us happy too, including by own happiness. The main in love is the perception of other one as your native. This feeling makes two people like a one, when they introject personalities and needs of each other. It's not when one is higher than you or impresses by his bright traits - it's secondary, but the main is when he's native to you and that's why you feel good with him. This approach has better chance on good relations further. In such relations you'll get better feelings and support. It's the choice made on friendship feelings mostly, what also good IR allow the most.
No problem.
~* astralsilky
Each essence is a separate glass,
Through which Sun of Being’s Light is passed,
Each tinted fragment sparkles with the Sun,
A thousand colors, but the Light is One.
Jami, 15th c. Persian Poet
Post types & fully individuated before 2012 ...
What a wonderful post. I love it. Thank you.
~* astralsilky
Each essence is a separate glass,
Through which Sun of Being’s Light is passed,
Each tinted fragment sparkles with the Sun,
A thousand colors, but the Light is One.
Jami, 15th c. Persian Poet
Post types & fully individuated before 2012 ...
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