Neurosis between Types

[Torao]

Are there observable neurosis formation amongst types besides in Conflict and Supervision relationships?

[Tallmo]

One can speculate that even duality gives rise to neurosis because the partners compensate each other instead of developing superid functions.

[Hope]

Superego.

At a distance these relations can be quite pleasant and friendly accompanied by an interesting exchange of views. However, at closer distances these relations develop into rivalry between the partners. Each one tries to impress the other, to show him his own importance or priority in some area. Difficulties in understanding lead to loss of trust and warm feelings for each other as well as hope that at some point you will be understood correctly. Partners are thus forced to try to readjust to one another, to constantly seek common ground, but the balance in these relations is achieved only for a short period of time. Partners react to each other very sharply and overly emotionally and can unintentionally cause each other pain. Sometimes it seems like the other partner is doing everything in order to spite you. Mutual frustration can develop into acute conflicts, especially in more intimate relations and clashes of personal interests. Mutual deafness manifests in the absence of proper attention to the interests of one another and repeated attempts to impose one's own point of view. A need to rest from such relations arises, after which partners sometimes establish contact again. Lack of understanding and support typically leads to gradual cooling of these relations.

Activity (Super ID) in some cases.

At first the interaction is invigorating. Partners activate each other in all initiatives and undertakings. They strive to provide mutual assistance, but joint activity is complicated. When their interests coincide and become focused on the same goal, the methods for achieving it don't satisfy both partners. Partners start to make higher demands of each other. This leads to unnecessary disputes and mutual frustration. Because cooperation is complicated, each partner ends up having to solve problems on his own. Emotional exhaustion is a common effect, which is why partners should periodically increase psychological distance. Presence of outsiders is beneficial and helps to distract partners from misunderstandings. Activity partners quickly forgive each other. Switching attention to something else or stopping communication for some time normalizes these relations.

--
. The base function of one partner feeds into mobilizing function of the other, prompting him or her into action. Periodically partners grow tired of each other and require separation and rest. One of my students told me a story about his uncle and aunt of types ILE and ESE. They were deeply in love with each other, but to take a break from each other they would completely separate for one day a week. Even this wasn't enough. These people who called each other "the bane of my heart" have been through three divorces, which completely baffled their relatives and friends. Luckily they have never separated for good, but learned to direct the extra energy into good causes. Both of them built excellent careers without special effect and done a great deal of social work. If they knew about Jung's typology they would have avoided many of the initial problems. It is much easier, for example, to offend your activity partner than your dual. The strongly categorical creative function of one is met with much weaker suggestive function of the other. This is why it is best to tone down categorical judgements and not waste time on detailed explanations.

Contrary.

Often people of extinguishment types feel an attraction for one other. Attention is especially drawn to the physical qualities of the partner, such as the beauty of their eyes. When alone, these people can have many interesting one-on-one conversations and feel amazement and wonder at each other's originality of thought, how the other person is seeing the same issue from a different side. When a third person joins the conversation, and one of the partners indirectly gains advantage through his or her attention or support, the fragile balance immediately disappears. If two people of extinguishment types have to live or work together, conflict is inevitable. Partners seem to talk about the same topics, but from opposing points of view.

[The Reality Denialist]

I find specially the second sentence for contrary highly amusing/disturbing/anecdotal.

I think asymmetry in general such as benefit might introduce something similar.

[Bertrand]

yeah it makes it sound that if you find somene's eyes beautiful it might be extinguishment (at a higher rate than normal), beware of eyes!

[Sol]

the higher risk may be in close relations with types having in their ego your superego functions
this relates to some "neutral" IR too

[Hope]

I actually think that @niffer has beautiful feet.

(I saw her wearing those.)



*I don't have anything with feet, btw.*

[niffer]

LMAO @Crystal so weird

but ty!! My feet are US size 10/11 so that’s a nice compliment.

LOL such a weird context too w/ this thread

I think you’re hawt too btw

[Hope]

thank you, lol. I mentioned it because of the posts of Troll and Bert.

[niffer]

Ooh ok.

”When a third person joins the conversation, and one of the partners indirectly gains advantage through his or her attention or support, the fragile balance immediately disappears. If two people of extinguishment types have to live or work together, conflict is inevitable.”

This pretty much matches up with my experiences with SLIs, especially the first sentence. IME living and working together is fine as long as the two people are only having to deal with each other in a bubble, but in most cases that’s just impossible after a while.

SLIs I find are really sincere lol so it’s easy to make friends with them quick. Usually in groups I’ve been in the person who can easily get along with anyone is an SLI, and for me since I can’t really get along with anyone that’s a perfect match . Well it’s a stretch but anyway they’re easier to get close to than average for me but the relationship doesn’t exactly deepen or get intense. It’s always just mellow but that might have to do with SLIs being mellow themselves.

SLE x SLI = gay wrestling in comfy socks

[Bertrand]

thank you, lol. I mentioned it because of the posts of Troll and Bert.

there is definitely a thing going on with eyes.. gulenko says our extinguisher is our unconscious ideal and superego the conscious means whereby we strive to move closer to it, so in the extinguisher we see an aspect that we greatly admire, but because its consciously realized in them and not a byproduct of valued functions it leads to clashes in real interactions. its easy to mix up that ideal with the dual which maybe looks drab at first glance in comparison. in some sense everyone should beware of eyes, but at the same time I do think there is a form of genuine and alluring and not misleading eye contact. its the problem of misleading ITR in general via some aspect of appearance, it requires a kind of discernment that is nuanced. i just didn't like the idea that it was suggesting perhaps all forms of allure on that level were misleading, although I know it didn't say that. I probably overreacted. it troubles me to think I could sincerely feel a connection on that level and be wrong