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Thread: What is it like to date your identical?

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    Default What is it like to date your identical?

    I think that's the term for someone who's the same type as you.

    Anyway, I just had this thought while having dinner the other day for some reason. And I remember someome saying that "It's like dating your best friend. But with sex. Good stuff."

    So what's your input on this situation? Let's fill the forum with some love.
    Currently trying to regain what I lost. And if that's not possible, at least gain new things while trying to.

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    Good but a little boring.

    If different subtype you might feel very different from each other.

    If same subtype you might feel really "identical".

    Ive dated H-SEI and C-SEI. But never same subtype or complementary.

    I think there might be a risk of projecting your weaknesses on your identical. They are an easy target for that because they fit the projections so well.

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    I've never really dated my Identical before, nor have I gotten truly close to it.

    But when I was new to Typology, I was oddly enamored by the idea of ending up with a guy who's got the same personality type as me.

    Blame the hype of introversion for that; tons of articles on how "similarity" is ideal, and how introverts do well with other introverts... And then my own negative experiences with certain extroverts in my life (ESxj people) made me think that extroverts kind of suck, introverts are the best... Add to that a general feeling of isolation and being misunderstood... So I thought, someone like me would be ideal, no? Finally someone who understands!

    So I went on the quest of meeting and getting to know guys with the same personality type as me (online) and oh boy, have I made some experiences, haha!

    Many of those guys turned out to be EII or xSI actually (and mentally disturbed, ha) and that didn't work, obviously. One of the Identical guys I could have been interested in ended up dating and marrying another Identical woman, ha! The other Identical guy was gay, haha. He was eerily similar to me. Same Enneagram type, same stacking, too. Getting to know him, I realized how annoying it can be to listen to the worries of your Identical, especially when they are also the same Enneagram type; you cannot help them! And they keep lamenting! I can sympathize but empathy can become tricky in that instance!

    So I basically realized, that at this point in my life, where things are not particularly stable and I need to establish myself and gain more independence, someone who complements my strengths and weaknesses is a much better match. (Learning about Socionics and gaining more experience made me also realize that certain Extroverts can be pretty dope actually, so to speak. )

    But if I was an old single cat lady
    with a rather stable life
    and no luck in dating
    and were looking for someone who understands me completely
    and gives me an easy time,
    I'd go for an Identical probably.
    (Make this a Socionics poem/slogan.)

    P.S: I have found that most happy Identity relations are between IxFx types with the exception of SEIs.
    ESI-ESI is one of the most common pairings in general, ime.
    Last edited by Olimpia; 02-13-2018 at 11:46 AM.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Olimpia View Post
    I've never really dated my Identical before, nor have I gotten truly close to it.

    But when I was new to Typology, I was oddly enamored by the idea of ending up with a guy who's got the same personality type as me.

    Blame the hype of introversion for that; tons of articles on how "similarity" is ideal, and how introverts do well with other introverts... And then my own negative experiences with certain extroverts in my life (ESxj people) made me think that extroverts kind of suck, introverts are the best... Add to that a general feeling of isolation and being misunderstood... So I thought, someone like me would be ideal, no? Finally someone who understands!

    So I went on the quest of meeting and getting to know guys with the same personality type as me (online) and oh boy, have I made some experiences, haha!

    Many of those guys turned out to be EII or xSI actually (and mentally disturbed, ha) and that didn't work, obviously. One of the Identical guys I could have been interested in ended up dating and marrying another Identical woman, ha! The other Identical guy was gay, haha. He was eerily similar to me. Same Enneagram type, same stacking, too. Getting to know him, I realized how annoying it can be to listen to the worries of your Identical, especially when they are also the same Enneagram type; you cannot help them! And they keep lamenting! I can sympathize but empathy can become tricky in that instance!

    So I basically realized, that at this point in my life, where things are not particularly stable and I need to establish myself and gain more independence, someone who complements my strengths and weaknesses is a much better match. (Learning about Socionics and gaining more experience made me also realize that certain Extroverts can be pretty dope actually, so to speak. )

    But if I was an old single cat lady
    with a rather stable life
    and no luck in dating
    and were looking for someone who understands me completely
    and gives me an easy time,
    I'd go for an Identical probably.
    (Make this a Socionics poem/slogan.)

    P.S: I have found that most happy Identity relations are between IxFx types with the exception of SEIs.
    ESI-ESI is one of the most common pairings in general, ime.
    You'd get bored soon enough though, so there's that

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    Shouldn't friendship be the base of love in the first place? To me that's something good, common sense, and not necessarily socionics-relevant.
    Quote Originally Posted by Chae View Post
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    Quote Originally Posted by Penny Dreadful View Post
    I think that's the term for someone who's the same type as you.

    Anyway, I just had this thought while having dinner the other day for some reason. And I remember someome saying that "It's like dating your best friend. But with sex. Good stuff."

    So what's your input on this situation? Let's fill the forum with some love.
    u have dinner with socionics fanatics?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    u have dinner with socionics fanatics?
    You don't?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Olimpia View Post
    You don't?
    sometimes
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    Quote Originally Posted by Number 9 large View Post
    sometimes
    Same
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    I've never seen a LIE-Ni woman IRL.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chae View Post
    Shouldn't friendship be the base of love in the first place? To me that's something good, common sense, and not necessarily socionics-relevant.
    It truly should be.
    But being intimate with someone who is just like you would give a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Go fuck yourself'.
    That being said, you can perfectly be friends with someone who's not a 3D-printer-copy of yourself.
    Currently trying to regain what I lost. And if that's not possible, at least gain new things while trying to.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Penny Dreadful View Post
    It truly should be.
    But being intimate with someone who is just like you would give a whole new meaning to the phrase 'Go fuck yourself'.
    That being said, you can perfectly be friends with someone who's not a 3D-printer-copy of yourself.
    I wouldn't say they'd be similar to yourself, we still have the variety of instincts, enneatype. Put me next to a self-pres six of the same type and the difference is staggering, no twin effect whatsoever.
    Of course
    Quote Originally Posted by Chae View Post
    This doesn't take a grain of salt, it takes a: BIG ASS SALTY ASS FREAKING ASS GAY MOUNTAIN!

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    I think relationship wise in the long term in terms of quality, it is second only to duality. If you have the same subtype, enneatype and instinctual stacking then there would be a lot of mutual respect and you would have a lot in common, but it might get boring. If you have a different subtype, enneatype and instinctual stacking then you would strike a good balance and have just enough in common and enough mutual respect, but also have enough differences to keep it from getting boring.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raver View Post
    I think relationship wise in the long term in terms of quality, it is second only to duality. If you have the same subtype, enneatype and instinctual stacking then there would be a lot of mutual respect and you would have a lot in common, but it might get boring. If you have a different subtype, enneatype and instinctual stacking then you would strike a good balance and have just enough in common and enough mutual respect, but also have enough differences to keep it from getting boring.
    I don't see how identical would be better than activity. Activity is unbalanced, too much leading and mobilizing, not enough creative and suggestive, and wrong temperaments rational vs irrational but there is still synergy. Identical doesn't provide any synergy so there will be no value add or depth from the relationship. I remember one time I met a group of people with an identical and activity pair in the group. I talked almost exclusively with the activity pair. It was more interesting and felt closer to duality.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Penny Dreadful View Post
    And I remember someome saying that "It's like dating your best friend. But with sex. Good stuff."
    in case that person was too narcistic

    women identicals are boring for romance
    I had no romance with them, but had a familiar LSE girl. women are softer than me for sure, so it's not like to look in the mirror. but you'll not get good suggestive support. and you don't see that she needs you much - she wants same emotional support from you and you both stay hungry in this
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    I know two LIE females. In a sense we understand each other much better than with duals. But I think we would get each other into trouble during a long term relationship.
    They are also both big spenders and i think we would also get each other in financial troublen
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    I know two LIE females. In a sense we understand each other much better than with duals. But I think we would get each other into trouble during a long term relationship.
    They are also both big spenders and i think we would also get each other in financial troublen
    Interesting. Why would you get in trouble?
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raver View Post
    I think relationship wise in the long term in terms of quality, it is second only to duality.
    3 good IR for marriages and alike: duality, semi-duality and activation
    nothing else. except you agree to deal with the lack of friendship, boredom and hard relations which need a lot of your personal efforts and compromises to keep them ok

    > If you have the same subtype, enneatype and instinctual stacking then there would be a lot of mutual respect

    Same E-type is not good for similar reasons. You'll meet not many such pairs, mostly people are attracted to different than they are - to those who may complement them and compensate their psyche. The last two cases I seems prefered E-9 women, while being E-1 myself - not the easy to start relations, but such women are interesting and I see what "new" they may give me, - the other point to view the world, to understand what I have redundant in myself. Though mb there are better matches for E-1, but to deal with E-1 girl... I doubt such even exist among EII.

    > If you have a different subtype, enneatype and instinctual stacking then you would strike a good balance

    I doubt this would help much.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    For me, dating would never happen. I've known many LII and I've always recognized their characteristics immediately. Like no other type, I seem to focus on flaws that I see duplicated in myself. Because I tend to be overly self-critical, I prefer not to be chummy with other examples of LII shortcomings. Also, I seem to be able to converse far better than work with them; we seem to disagree a lot on whose plan is better.........

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    From an overall perspective identity can be pretty good. There is lots of support and acceptance because you like to do things the similar way. They introduce you to potential hobbies and activities that you might like. Understanding is great. I feel identity can be very therapeutic.

    SEI girls have introduced me to doing things slowly and with no worries. Cooking, taking walks, plants and animals, getting drunk together, inefficient living. With Harmonizing SEI the sensuality was in the foreground all the time.

    I'm like that myself also, but with an identical partner it becomes accepted.

    The downside is also obvious: slightly boring despite of everything, no support in weak areas, no sense of "a new spirit", like duality can be.

    So I think that identity is one of the most important types for you. Maybe not as much as husband or wife, but as friends and lovers.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Chae View Post
    Interesting. Why would you get in trouble?
    I'm referring to these two LIE females I know - we all tend to be a bit too optimistic with regard to career prospects, changing cities / lifestyle, spending money, finding someone who will help us when there's something that goes wrong, etc. etc. - I can see that we would be unbalanced from the point of view of "realistic sensing".
    Furthermore one of the two has a ESI husband, now they have a kid, and I can see how the LIE girl really appreciates that he takes care of the kid even from a physical POV; to make it short, duality seems better for LTRs and family life, but identical seems really good for friendship.
    At work, other LIEs are okay only if they cannot directly affect my work, or if we cooperate on something, otherwise, it's more difficult.
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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG View Post
    I'm referring to these two LIE females I know - we all tend to be a bit too optimistic with regard to career prospects, changing cities / lifestyle, spending money, finding someone who will help us when there's something that goes wrong, etc. etc. - I can see that we would be unbalanced from the point of view of "realistic sensing".
    Furthermore one of the two has a ESI husband, now they have a kid, and I can see how the LIE girl really appreciates that he takes care of the kid even from a physical POV; to make it short, duality seems better for LTRs and family life, but identical seems really good for friendship.
    At work, other LIEs are okay only if they cannot directly affect my work, or if we cooperate on something, otherwise, it's more difficult.
    Completely true for me, too, in my experience, LIE's who work together in the same company require completely separate spheres of influence.

    I know a couple of LIE females. We get along great. One is a much older woman who used to run a division of GE. She's no-nonsense and very direct and clear, and we have profitably worked together in the past. Unfortunately, she's religious and conservative, so we just never go there in our conversations, because we butt heads and neither of us will give an inch.

    The other one is in her mid-thirties and is separated from her SEE BF. I have to admit, I'm curious about what she's like in bed. She's hinted at considering that, too, but like me, she is resisting going there. I think it would be like having sex with a female version of myself, and who isn't curious about that? ("Hey, I'll bet you like THIS!") And even though she's quite attractive (especially considering she's LIE), I can't see us forming a permanent partnership. We've talked at length about how we deal with problems in relationships, and we deal with them identically and so can't really suggest good solutions to each other.

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    I'm usually not attracted to other IEIs that way unless they are in a much higher position of society than me, then it feels more alluring and sexy but people from different class groups don't really interact in that way so nothing ever happens. It's like even if I sense some chemistry and mutual interest, it still is always too friendzone-y.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Penny Dreadful View Post
    I think that's the term for someone who's the same type as you.

    Anyway, I just had this thought while having dinner the other day for some reason. And I remember someome saying that "It's like dating your best friend. But with sex. Good stuff."

    So what's your input on this situation? Let's fill the forum with some love.
    It's not really for me. I've had an attraction to an identical before, but it didn't go anywhere, perhaps if it did, that relationship would have had potential.

    Most of the identicals I know, they are OK, but I wouldn't want to date them. Really I want a partner to bring some feeling to the relationship, but, as long as we're not competing (identicals) on the same topics, then there's worse.

    To explain, this is the sort of thing where it could work, for me,

    In order for Identical relations to last, one partner has to take a role of the [/COLOR]Dual as if it was a Duality relationship. Usually it happens naturally. If the two are introverts, one often subconsciously attempts to take care of the extroverted side of things, if the two are thinking types, then one would try to fill the resulting emotional void etc. Different backgrounds and function developments of Identical partners could help in this case, however as with any other relationship there has to be a driving force behind it to keep it going.

    From http://www.socionics.com/rel/idn.htm

    I'm happy to share our responsibilites, but not compete for the same things.

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    Quote Originally Posted by domr View Post
    I don't see how identical would be better than activity. Activity is unbalanced, too much leading and mobilizing, not enough creative and suggestive, and wrong temperaments rational vs irrational but there is still synergy. Identical doesn't provide any synergy so there will be no value add or depth from the relationship. I remember one time I met a group of people with an identical and activity pair in the group. I talked almost exclusively with the activity pair. It was more interesting and felt closer to duality.
    From my experience, it is the opposite. I find it easier to interact with identicals more than activity. Not that activity is bad, it is good, but a bit harder to interact with. Also, this site ranks identical in front of activity:

    http://www.socionics.com/rel/rel.htm

    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    3 good IR for marriages and alike: duality, semi-duality and activation
    nothing else. except you agree to deal with the lack of friendship, boredom and hard relations which need a lot of your personal efforts and compromises to keep them ok

    > If you have the same subtype, enneatype and instinctual stacking then there would be a lot of mutual respect

    Same E-type is not good for similar reasons. You'll meet not many such pairs, mostly people are attracted to different than they are - to those who may complement them and compensate their psyche. The last two cases I seems prefered E-9 women, while being E-1 myself - not the easy to start relations, but such women are interesting and I see what "new" they may give me, - the other point to view the world, to understand what I have redundant in myself. Though mb there are better matches for E-1, but to deal with E-1 girl... I doubt such even exist among EII.

    > If you have a different subtype, enneatype and instinctual stacking then you would strike a good balance

    I doubt this would help much.
    I agree with duality and activation for marriage, but identical and mirror are good as well. Anything within quadra is good for long term relationships. Duality is better than all, but the other within quadra relations are good too. Like evidenced here:

    http://www.socionics.com/rel/rel.htm

    I agree that semi duality can be decent for marriage, but it is not as good as within quadra relations IMO.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raver View Post
    I agree with duality and activation for marriage, but identical and mirror are good as well.
    You'd want psychological support in a marriage. This is given by complementary functions. You'll prefer a supporting friend in your pair, not a co-worker with same skills which may switch with you.
    Base T types need emotional inspiration to feel lesser tired, higher motivated, with more pleasure from the life. This may be given good by dual/semi-dual, activator. Identity/mirror will never give this good, they need same support from you.
    You'll want your traits as required by your pair to care about her, and to get care about you from her. You need be complementary for this, not with similar problems and same strong qualitites. This mutual help and support creates supporting friendship, strong dependencies in a pair.

    > Like evidenced here

    that is baseless and is not common Socionics view

    > I agree that semi duality can be decent for marriage, but it is not as good as within quadra relations IMO

    Semi-duality gives the support like duality for your most important function - your leading function. It's the main profit of good IR. It's easier when you have same values, but more imortant to get the support in the relations.
    If to see a marriage as close friendship, but not "2 people living in same home", then identity and mirror are much worse than IR triad mentioned by me.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    You'd want psychological support in a marriage. This is given by complementary functions. You'll prefer a supporting friend in your pair, not a co-worker with same skills which may switch with you.
    Base T types need emotional inspiration to feel lesser tired, higher motivated, with more pleasure from the life. This may be given good by dual/semi-dual, activator. Identity/mirror will never give this good, they need same support from you.
    You'll want your traits as required by your pair to care about her, and to get care about you from her. You need be complementary for this, not with similar problems and same strong qualitites. This mutual help and support creates supporting friendship, strong dependencies in a pair.

    > Like evidenced here

    that is baseless and is not common Socionics view

    > I agree that semi duality can be decent for marriage, but it is not as good as within quadra relations IMO

    Semi-duality gives the support like duality for your most important function - your leading function. It's the main profit of good IR. It's easier when you have same values, but more imortant to get the support in the relations.
    If to see a marriage as close friendship, but not "2 people living in same home", then identity and mirror are much worse than IR triad mentioned by me.
    I see your point, but do you have any Socionics sources to back up this claim? I am just curious because I just want to see some evidence. I know I had only one source for my claim, but I would like to see some sources for your viewpoint. Socionics calulator ranks them in this order, which is another source to prove my point (I put in no subtype for all of them, since I know you don't believe in them and to keep it simple):

    Positive Relations:

    Duality - 100%
    Identical - 91%
    Activity - 89%
    Mirror - 80%

    Decent Relations:

    Semi Dual - 59%
    Illusionary - 59%
    Kindred - 57%
    Look-alike - 57%

    Poor Relations:

    Benefactor - 43%
    Supervisor - 41%
    Beneficiary - 39%
    Supervisee - 36%
    Super-ego - 27%
    Contrary - 18%
    Quasi-identical - 18%
    Conflicting - 0%

    Source: http://www.sociotype.com/tools/

    So basically according to this site (ignoring subtypes): identical is ranked above activity and mirror and identical is ranked above semi-duality. If you have evidence to the contrary, that is fine and please link me to it. Otherwise, we are just dealing with conjecture, which won't get us anywhere.
    "Nothing happens until the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Raver View Post
    I see your point, but do you have any Socionics sources to back up this claim? I am just curious because I just want to see some evidence. I know I had only one source for my claim, but I would just like to see some sources for your viewpoint. Socionics calulator ranks them in this order (I put in no subtype for all of them since I know you don't believe in them and to keep it simple):

    Source: http://www.sociotype.com/tools/

    Positive Relations:

    Duality - 100%
    Identical - 91%
    Activity - 89%
    Mirror - 80%

    Decent Relations:

    Semi Dual - 59%
    Illusionary - 59%
    Kindred - 57%
    Look-alike - 57%

    Poor Relations:

    Benefactor - 43%
    Supervisor - 41%
    Beneficiary - 39%
    Supervisee - 36%
    Super-ego - 27%
    Contrary - 18%
    Quasi-identical - 18%
    Conflicting - 0%

    So basically according to this site (ignoring subtypes), identical is ranked above activity and mirror and identical is ranked above semi duality. If you have evidence to the contrary, that is fine and please link me to it.

    I have a lot of respect for that calculator, particularly when it comes to considering sub-types, but my personal experience rates the inter-type compatibilities slightly differently. A lot of that has to do with individual cases and personal upbringing.

    For example, I was in a marriage for many years with my Supervisor. However, we are both Te-subtypes, which raises the score to about 60%, I think, which is still not great. But we had every single other factor for making a marriage work going for us. If she hadn’t moved out, I’d still be married to her, but then, I started looking for her when I was twelve and didn’t find her until I was thirty. My problem was that I had never met a female dual to understand what they are like. As a consequence, our marriage was very productive and very emotionally chilly. I didn’t really understand this until I started dating ethical types.

    Personally, I think @Sol is right.

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    I agree with the order of:

    Dual
    Identity
    Activator
    Mirror

    Most of my identity relations lack the necessary warmth (as a T type), and although never having been in a romantic relationship with an identical, I was friends with one for a while. We would go for drinks after work, cinema (along with my male SLI friend).

    She was good at taking on the role of the 'F' in the group, and she was fairly attractive.

    For this reason I can see how an identity-identity relation could work quite well, if each type is willing to fulfill the roles of the pairing, ie one takes the 'I', one the 'F', one the 'N' and so forth.

    It's a form of unconscious dualisation, aided better than the activity or mirror, because the same 'J' and 'P' rhythms are mutually observed.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Adam Strange View Post
    I have a lot of respect for that calculator, particularly when it comes to considering sub-types, but my personal experience rates the inter-type compatibilities slightly differently. A lot of that has to do with individual cases and personal upbringing.

    For example, I was in a marriage for many years with my Supervisor. However, we are both Te-subtypes, which raises the score to about 60%, I think, which is still not great. But we had every single other factor for making a marriage work going for us. If she hadn’t moved out, I’d still be married to her, but then, I started looking for her when I was twelve and didn’t find her until I was thirty. My problem was that I had never met a female dual to understand what they are like. As a consequence, our marriage was very productive and very emotionally chilly. I didn’t really understand this until I started dating ethical types.

    Personally, I think @Sol is right.
    Interesting, your experience proves that supervisor/supervisee relations usually do not end well even with matching subtypes. I am just curious on why you think semi duality is superior to identity and mirror and why you think activity is superior to identity, since you agree with Sol?

    Quote Originally Posted by at sirac son of sirac View Post
    I agree with the order of:

    Dual
    Identity
    Activator
    Mirror

    Most of my identity relations lack the necessary warmth (as a T type), and although never having been in a romantic relationship with an identical, I was friends with one for a while. We would go for drinks after work, cinema (along with my male SLI friend).

    She was good at taking on the role of the 'F' in the group, and she was fairly attractive.

    For this reason I can see how an identity-identity relation could work quite well, if each type is willing to fulfill the roles of the pairing, ie one takes the 'I', one the 'F', one the 'N' and so forth.

    It's a form of unconscious dualisation, aided better than the activity or mirror, because the same 'J' and 'P' rhythms are mutually observed.
    Well said. I think you hit the nail on the head on how identity could work out in long term relationships. It basically functions as some kind of pseudo duality. Not as good as actual duality, but it can come close.
    "Nothing happens until the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change."

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    @Raver

    I don't agree that Identical is better than Activity. Identical types have the same erotic style so the interaction will become boring in the long-run. All the functions are the same so there isn't any benefit to seeing their advice or input. No drive or attractive to bring the people together.
    @Sol

    Semi-duality doesn't provide support for the leading function because the leading function is affected by creative function. Example my semi-dual the SEI is designed to stop the ILE from being a social retard. They do this by feeding them concrete data about what people believe is acceptable or not. As an IEE, I need concrete data on what works and what doesn't work. So yes they are feeding me Si, but it's not the Si content that I want. The interaction is okay right until the point of making a decision or evaluation as which point it descends into an irreconcilable disagreement. The result is a very shallow relationship because neither party is allowed to express their creative nor mobilizing function and off-balanced because both people need to constantly censor themselves to order to avoid offending the other person.

    It gets worse because not only is the information not appreciated, but the meta-data (Quadra values) is wrong too. The SEI feeds democratic Fe that puts equal weight on the state of other people. Not only do I not want Fe, but I especially don't want equal-weight Fe. At least with Betas it's possible to convenience them to take certain people's beliefs above others. The same logic creates a deeper argument with Alphas. We disagree not only on using the function but on even the application of the function itself.

    Semi-duality is the proper name but it's not descriptive (like activity pair) in terms of what the relationship feels like. I would label it the hopeless relationship because no matter how much each party tries, the relationship will never work.
    Last edited by domr; 02-20-2018 at 12:06 AM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by domr View Post
    Semi-duality doesn't provide support for the leading function
    this controverts to the core theory and my experience

    > Example my semi-dual the SEI is designed to stop the ILE from being a social retard

    1st of all SEI supports Si of ILE. same they do with IEE
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sol View Post
    this controverts to the core theory and my experience

    > Example my semi-dual the SEI is designed to stop the ILE from being a social retard

    1st of all SEI supports Si of ILE. same they do with IEE
    You cut out all the writing where I explained how that isn't the case.

    And what i am saying isn't against core theory because of the accepting-producing linkage between functions, which is what I illustrated.

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    Quote Originally Posted by domr View Post
    @Raver

    I don't agree that Identical is better than Activity. Identical types have the same erotic style so the interaction will become boring in the long-run. All the functions are the same so there isn't any benefit to seeing their advice or input. No drive or attractive to bring the people together.
    Fair enough, I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on this. I just think identity is better than activity based on personal experience and those two links I mentioned, but it is not a guarantee.

    Regardless, I am curious on how you would rank mirror, identity, duality, activity and semi-duality from best to worst or even all the ITR if you don't mind since I am curious to how you rank them all rather than merely activity being superior to identity in your opinion.
    "Nothing happens until the pain of staying the same outweighs the pain of change."

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    Quote Originally Posted by Raver View Post
    Fair enough, I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on this. I just think identity is better than activity based on personal experience and those two links I mentioned, but it is not a guarantee.

    Regardless, I am curious on how you would rank mirror, identity, duality, activity and semi-duality from best to worst or even all the ITR if you don't mind since I am curious to how you rank them all rather than merely activity being superior to identity in your opinion.
    To rank types in a list it requires evaluation criteria and the criteria you chose will affect the list.
    From best to worst.
    Duality and Activity assume both people are mature and are willing to listen to their Super-Id functions.

    Duality
    Ultra smooth.
    Can be slightly different to start but gets stronger over time.
    No psychological strain.
    Both people are free to be themselves.
    Slow conversation but pleasant.
    Strong emotional support.
    Great advice.

    Activity
    Roller-Coaster.
    Easiest relationship to start but it plateaus over time rather than strengthening.
    Slight psychological strain because of the rational/irrational difference.
    Rational believes irrational is inconsistent while irrational believes they are flexible. Irrational believes ration is too rigid while rational views them as being consistent.
    Hence each partner feels the other try to subconsciously change them to be more like their respective dual.
    Fast conversation and overly stimulating/draining.
    Above average emotional support.
    Good advice.

    Mirror
    I don't have any experience with this type.
    I met an EII women but she was stuck up and didn't want to communicate.
    I'll speculate that this relationship feels like a weaker version of activity.

    Identity
    Short-run interesting, long-run boring.
    Starts feeling like an outside Quadra relationship in the sense that it relies a lot on external stimuli to keep the interaction going.
    Not self-sustaining like activity or dual.
    No synergy.

    Semi-Dual
    lol, this is a garbage relationship and not even close to the other 4 for reasons I stated above.
    Last edited by domr; 02-20-2018 at 12:07 AM.

  36. #36
    Melodies of a Martian~ ephemera's Avatar
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    Wow I never thought of that before- maybe if I knew who had the same type as me I would know my type.



  37. #37
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    Boring 💤

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    Since my parents are conflictors (and still live together) I wanted avoid the same fate so I decided to find my SEI dual after breakup with EIE. So I went to the dating website and started to talk to every girl from the town and since I was interested in my dual only (I know it wasn't the best idea but what can I say) I selected one particular girl which was good material. So I used all my powers to meet her which took over 2 months. She was very cautious like meeting in public place and she didn't even stop the engine and get out of a car at the beginning. So we met again and again. But I failed to notice that there was something wrong, she was making me totally crazy at times like hitting psychologically so hard I could barely stand it. But I thought I am overworked and stressed, don't eat well and don't relax at all, I am not used to relationship with this type and I am all consumed by my job. But it went further anyway and I quit my job and we started company together so we worked from home mainly but still, there was something wrong and she was hitting me so hard, that sometimes I had to really calm down not to say anything, and I am very self-controlled, peaceful and non-confrontional person. The relationship went like this for 3 years after I have noticed that she's my conflictor and not my dual, and she even paired with her ILE mother to grill me over issues. I am not really talkative so I've never said anything to offense her as I am very low Se but she was very confrontional and sometimes it was difficult to remain silent.
    I am sometimes mindless at home so one day I left a sock on top of the laundry basket and not inside of it, and she become furious about it and since I was really tired of work after one sleepless night, I started shouting something and she became very scared because she saw me like that for the first time. I haven't even said anything hurtful or offensive or even not any bad word. I left to the customer and when I come back she was already out of flat, and she did this because she thought I would attack her that I became absolutely mad and dangerous.
    So dating duals is OK unless they don't turn out to be conflictors.
    A the end she said I am too much like her (ILE) mom.
    And I am sorry for her that she was in one conflicting relationship with her mom (she didn't talk about it much, but I thought that this was not the conflict but other alcohol related issues), and I've engineered for her another conflicting relationship. But she learned new profession and it set up her career for life, and she still runs that business.
    And I swear she looks like SEI but in fact is ESI.

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    Quote Originally Posted by falsehope View Post
    Since my parents are conflictors (and still live together) I wanted avoid the same fate so I decided to find my SEI dual after breakup with EIE. So I went to the dating website and started to talk to every girl from the town and since I was interested in my dual only (I know it wasn't the best idea but what can I say) I selected one particular girl which was good material. So I used all my powers to meet her which took over 2 months. She was very cautious like meeting in public place and she didn't even stop the engine and get out of a car at the beginning. So we met again and again. But I failed to notice that there was something wrong, she was making me totally crazy at times like hitting psychologically so hard I could barely stand it. But I thought I am overworked and stressed, don't eat well and don't relax at all, I am not used to relationship with this type and I am all consumed by my job. But it went further anyway and I quit my job and we started company together so we worked from home mainly but still, there was something wrong and she was hitting me so hard, that sometimes I had to really calm down not to say anything, and I am very self-controlled, peaceful and non-confrontional person. The relationship went like this for 3 years after I have noticed that she's my conflictor and not my dual, and she even paired with her ILE mother to grill me over issues. I am not really talkative so I've never said anything to offense her as I am very low Se but she was very confrontional and sometimes it was difficult to remain silent.
    I am sometimes mindless at home so one day I left a sock on top of the laundry basket and not inside of it, and she become furious about it and since I was really tired of work after one sleepless night, I started shouting something and she became very scared because she saw me like that for the first time. I haven't even said anything hurtful or offensive or even not any bad word. I left to the customer and when I come back she was already out of flat, and she did this because she thought I would attack her that I became absolutely mad and dangerous.
    So dating duals is OK unless they don't turn out to be conflictors.
    A the end she said I am too much like her (ILE) mom.
    And I am sorry for her that she was in one conflicting relationship with her mom (she didn't talk about it much, but I thought that this was not the conflict but other alcohol related issues), and I've engineered for her another conflicting relationship. But she learned new profession and it set up her career for life, and she still runs that business.
    And I swear she looks like SEI but in fact is ESI.
    That sucks to hear you were with someone like that. Honestly she sounds a bit crazy (by what you're saying at least) which might not have to do with socionics. It's hard to tell though since you give little info about your actual relationship.

    A few lessons I think we can draw from this:

    1) Go with your feelings in relationships, not with typings.

    2) VI is not the method of typing.

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    sounds like the relational equivalent of ILE going all in on bitcoins on a whim. oh the danger of abstractions, but oh so promising. gulenko says alpha is like moths to a flame

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