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Thread: How to tell the difference between the IEI idealising you and being attracted to you.

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    Default How to tell the difference between the IEI idealising you and being attracted to you.

    Hey Guys

    So there's an IEI I find very attractive and we're really close friends. In fact we recognise each other as soulmates and chat to each other online everyday (no surprise to anyone who knows socionics given we're duals) and our chats are full of playful teasing and jokes. We also catch up in person once a month or so and feel the leveling of energy that duals experience (we spend 4 or 5 hours together and the time flies by and is never awkward). He's also much younger than me, 14 years younger actually and still only 18! As extraordinary as that is what makes it even more extraordinary is that we originally met simply by him serving me groceries at a corner store every week - and we built up a friendship from there.

    We both love each other and hold each other in high esteem. He's amazed that I can tell that he feels bounded by a special energy and that I can tell his soul is poetically elevated (I know many IEIs feel this but I actually believe it's true!). He sees me as a very capable and successful person, setup with a house and prestigious career (which is objectively true) and wants to emulate me in that regard. In fact he wants me to help look after him in his career and work for me later on. We've occasionally joked about him being the stay at home partner just wandering about while I'm the breadwinner. I think the easy life appeals to him as it does many IEIs.

    He also has a girlfriend and has said he's straight. But I think he just might be hiding a bit as he is quite young. What makes me think he's hiding a bit is that when we hang out he lets me get away with a lot of playful touching. I'll grab hold of him around the waist. I'll brush my hand on his legs, I'll stoke his hair, when we speak I'm very much in his personal space, I mean real close, way closer than friends should be. Another time we were chatting he was sitting down and protruding his chest a bit while rubbing his chest from side to side. On another occasion he was outside his other work and wasn't expecting me and when I surprised him he gave me this really loving look with fawning eyes. Another friend of mine was with me and told me afterwards completely unprompted that I have a good chance with him. It was the look described in this post below:

    http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...ted-to-someone

    So I suppose what I want to know is whether he does find me attractive or whether he's simply idolising me the way that IEIs do with people they see as capable of helping them.
    SLE-Ti

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    Arete GuavaDrunk's Avatar
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    ... Ask him? No way to tell without actually seeing him, since you're primed to look for favourable clues.

    You can say something like: "Hey, noticed something, wanted to ask what you think - comes across like you might be into me, what do things look like from your end?"

    However now I think about it, it's likely in your best interest to just come on out with "I really like you." Given the touchy behaviour, it'd be a little surprising if he hadn't noticed anything. Your asking the above question would come across as disingenuous and not very brave.
    Reason is a whore.

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    > He also has a girlfriend and has said he's straight.

    I suppose you'd could to notice the signes of sexual interest to you. They'd were often and clear, if you are emotionally close.
    Types examples: video bloggers, actors

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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    There is really no way of knowing other than continue flirting and see where it goes. Take the risk etc.

    I think this question is related to sensitive Fi PoLR. "Is this really genuine..."


    Quote Originally Posted by Prince Andrei View Post
    He also has a girlfriend and has said he's straight.
    LOL. This is of course a very strong objective sign of being straight, you have to admit that Although he might be hiding something as you said.

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    what is essential is invisible to the eye fox's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prince Andrei View Post
    He also has a girlfriend and has said he's straight. But I think he just might be hiding a bit as he is quite young. What makes me think he's hiding a bit is that when we hang out he lets me get away with a lot of playful touching. I'll grab hold of him around the waist. I'll brush my hand on his legs, I'll stoke his hair, when we speak I'm very much in his personal space, I mean real close, way closer than friends should be. Another time we were chatting he was sitting down and protruding his chest a bit while rubbing his chest from side to side. On another occasion he was outside his other work and wasn't expecting me and when I surprised him he gave me this really loving look with fawning eyes. Another friend of mine was with me and told me afterwards completely unprompted that I have a good chance with him. It was the look described in this post below:
    I actually know an IEI guy who is basically "gay for pay". As far as I know he is straight, but he is really good looking, good at making people feel special and gay guys are obsessed with him because of his model looks and charming personality. He uses this to his advantage low key with older wealthy men, and rumor is he will even sleep with them for money... He almost always has a girlfriend, too.
    Last edited by fox; 02-14-2018 at 11:59 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
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