If you have any experiences with 2w1s can you post about their traits?
Experiences with enneagram type 2w1
If you have any experiences with 2w1s can you post about their traits?
i have alot of experience with my mom but its going to be overwhelmingly negative
One trait they seem to share is that they like cooking for their loved ones.
thats mainly how 2 interracts with the SP instinctOriginally Posted by lavos
I've known two women of that type, one was EIE and one was ESE. Some common traits:
- both are hyperactive high achievers, hardworking and have difficulty relaxing and taking it easy
- don't like people who are lazy and inactive, those who are too passive, lose interest in such people very quickly
- can be pushy and argumentative, easily inflame during arguments, that 1-wing can be very crusader-y
- socially engaged, not the type to sit at home and brood all day, although the EIE isolates herself when she gets caught up in some reading
- the ESE tracks people's needs and financial troubles, not so much the EIE, the EIE instead seems to know just the right thing to say to give emotional support to someone
- ESE has strong disintegration line to 8 and flips into power-flexing mode to get her way sometimes ("if you don't as I want, then I won't do this for you" etc.)
- difficulty finding SO's who would put up with their temperament, the ESE seems to go after LSI and LSE 6s, like Naranjo says they are looking for a "strongman" who will shield them and the ESE pretty much says so herself (the natural partner of 2 is an 8, but 6s also fill in that role for them)
- seem to share a deep concern of ethics (1) of their relationships (2), easily feel ashamed if they did something wrong and may apologize and be super sweet later after blowing up, sometimes ponder on question of morals and seek moralistic type of advice from others, the ESE for example was feeling ashamed of seeing a guy who is much younger than herself because she felt it was wrong in some way and was seeking reassurance
this is a story from another group where the op decided her friend is a 2w1 after seeking advice on her type, likely an NF:
"I would like some help in working out the type of someone I know. She is very community minded, always organising stuff but needs to be in control of what is happening. This seems to be driven by perfectionism. She has a definite idea in her head of what she wants and will not deviate from that. We have helped her out quite a lot financially and practically over the time have known her. Sometimes the money we have given her has gone in a different direction than we expected. She is idealistic, always coming out with grand schemes and getting obsessed by them but expects others to do the leg work then won't accept what they do because it's not good enough. Recently out of the blue she attacked me verbally in front of others and deliberately twisted my motivation for doing something and exaggerated negatives in a way that was deeply hurtful to me as well as embarrassing. My partner in an unsolicited misplaced effort to defend me did the same to her but just confronted her with the truth and the semi lies she had told about me. She would not acknowledge that she had twisted the truth and walked away.
She then turned victim, surrounded herself with sycophants, cancelled an event we were hosting for a whole group of people and reorganised it for another time and place and generally made sure we were both persona non grata. We backed off. Had as little to do with her as possible and blamed the whole thing on family and financial stresses she was going through.
Six months later we are again thrown together and now she is almost cringingly all over us. She wants us to be friends and visit her again and is being very affectionate indeed.
I am really trying to understand.
Does anyone recognise this. Obviously unhealthy on at least one count. I am hoping that knowing her type will help me to know how to deal with her. My gut feeling says eight.
I'd suggest looking into 1w2 then. There is a background of worrying to how you word things that Naranjo has described of 1s that value the sp instinct.
"... Ok, going to Preservation 1 issue the descriptive word is "worrying". You could say there is a passion for worrying. You could leave it at that. It makes sense to say that some people have "a passion for worrying", in the common sense of the word. But it's not just behavior that they worry to much, but there is a a need to worry. How can you understand "a need to worry"? A need for foresight, a need to know where you're going to put your foot, how it's going to happen, to have everything under control. It is as if there is a survival fear - if you don't have everything taken care of, then you might fall into a big hole or lose your life. It's an insecurity about survival linked to ... linked to ... not worrying (skipped) ...
So there's a number of things that can be said of the contrast of subtypes, but I'm going to leave those things for tomorrow and they are going to emerge, I think, spontaneously when you break up into groups with different subtypes and produce group descriptions. They are going to become characteristic and contrasting to others. But I'm going to stay on the central issues.
Definitely a 1s is either a person who worries to much, and I call them the true Perfectionists. Or the Social type, that are not so much perfectionists as they are Perfect [laughter from audience]. And the Sexual 1s are not so much perfectionists but Reformers - they are perfecting others. It's the same energy going in different directions. The Perfect, the Perfectionists, and the ... well it doesn't work as well in English as it does in Spanish ... the "Perfectionadores", the ones getting into minding other people's business. There is a saying "mind your own business". I was in a British school and I heard that a lot when I was a kid. I think the English have this expression because there is a lot of 1 in their culture. Telling others what to do, how to do it, don't do it this way." (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKM2iA2ZjD4
They're friendly on their terms, with regard to whatever boundaries they deem relevant. For example, my ESE-Si 2w1 sp/so aunt will often say something seemingly benevolent, only to end it with a passive-aggressive gesture or snarky comment to let you know that she's not willing to give as much of herself as, say, a 2w3 would. It's not exactly my favorite type.
4w3-5w6-8w7
It's like meeting Albert Schweitzer himself.
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