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Thread: SEI and ESE, anyone actually struggling to make friends?

  1. #41
    Breaking stereotypes Suz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InkMyUmbrella View Post
    That's me: Desiring intellect but also afraid of it/too lazy to really dive into it. I see a long, 10 page in depth paper about a potentially interesting topic, and I groan on the inside. I also see a really difficult puzzle and I cringe at the thought of spending eons trying to solve it...but once I do solve a puzzle, or understand a topic, or get a splendid idea/project, I get incredibly excited. I love creative writing because of this.

    I am not sure if you can relate to this: I really enjoy watching makeup videos on youtube. Initially it was in order to learn how to put it on my face...later it became due to the satisfaction of watching all the creams and nice colors blend on someone's face. I love watching the makeup artist draw crisp lines and then use a brush to blend it in smoothly. I also love seeing the artist put a shocking color on their face either as a highlight (what goes on cheekbones) or as an eye-shadow shade. I can do this for hours, although I feel incredibly unproductive doing this. It's a weird craving I have. I also love watching food videos, like watching cookies bake in the oven sped-up and seeing the chocolate chunks bubble.

    So my issue is that I do know that I have Si and Ne somewhere in my stacks, I'm just not sure where. From a real-world standpoint, what does Si look like in the dominant stack, second, third, fourth, etc. To what extent does an ESE and anyone with Si below use Si less than an SEI? If you get what I'm saying.



    So you're saying that Fe types are not as judgmental to "foibles" than Fi doms? What would make an Fe angry, then, about other people? What if a Fi types values include being angry at others for improper behavior, i.e. being rude to others for no reason? How would you know if you are a Fi type or a Fe type in that case?




    What do you mean by "bad" meds? Like illegal substances?
    I resonate with a lot of things you said here
    Enneagram: 9w1 6w5 2w3 so/sx

  2. #42
    Alomoes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by InkMyUmbrella View Post
    Hello,

    I was wondering if there are other SEI and ESE types who struggle to make friends, contrary to what our type seems to indicate our strengths are?

    I am very sensitive to how others perceive me and the overall "image" I display, and this has actually manifested to social anxiety since I interpret little details in facial expression and tone to mean the person may dislike me/not want me around. I used to strongly desire having a wide group of friends, but pretty much gave up after many years, and decided to attempt a life of solitude (to little avail, as it is natural for me to still desire strong friendships). So is this anyone else's experience?
    That is interesting. I don't know. My brother does have friends, so I'd think yes. He is SEI. Also, I know of another. He is also SEI.

    There is a possibility that you don't desire lots of friends, but a few really close friends and deep conversations on things. As such, that would make you not SEI or ESE.

    For reference, Adam Strange is a ENTj. They are Gamma, which exhibits this trait.

    Bullets and doves is about right, by the way. Surprisingly. It is more than that though. There has been successful replication of DNA. The DNA as replicated though, follows patterns. As such, you get repeats. This is just that. Like if you have only a finite amount of tries, you get repeats. Apparently the number is 16. It is weird, I did not choose that number.

    The gamma being unwelcoming to people with facades about them is wrong. It is more that we close out anyone with a persona. You do your thing. I'll do mine type deal. Like a reverse containment board on 4chan. We kind of just want to be left alone. Some people get a pass. We will come out and interact with the outside world though. That is guaranteed, as it is our perceived job.
    If I stop responding or posting, I've probably taken a break from posting stuff. This really taxes me for whatever reason. Said break could last anywhere from a month to a year. I will likely be back, as socionics is one of my interests. If I'm not on here, you can contact me on steam.

    I got a new computer, so I'll not type on mobile as much any more.

  3. #43
    killer wolf lemontrees's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chae View Post
    With SEI-Si there's quite a chance. Self-pres/sexual Dumas in particular, they have more introverted enneagram types as well. You know their dual, ILE, master of puppets, everywhere and nowhere exhausting themselves - this is everything that SEI isn't.

    Omgg yes.

    This so, so much.


    Once I took a trip to visit my ILE ex. One morning I went to explore the city and he said he was "going somewhere." So I saw the places I had in mind, went back, made the bed comfortable, watched TV, slept. He didn't appear until 4pm the next day. He just got... sidetracked with drinking and phone batteries died.

    BTW he is 100% sp/sx and still like that.

    That experience actually changed me (???) I was like... I'm so serious and I have a rhythm and every weekend it's just like, chores, exercise, reading books. I was aware of consciously restricting my life too in ways. Anyway, after that I thought maybe I could be more open. I felt very viscerally affected, sort of like... once I did a zero gravitation chamber and afterwards walking around for 1.5 days my body felt extremely different bc the muslces sort of just...unfurl. But it didn't last long.


    Btw I think having something grounding can help. Like passions, a close person who doesn't care about how good you are w/ "socializing" b/c you are already close, or responsibilities that you have to handle regardless of what anyone thinks. Not b/c social anxiety is frivolous (I don't think it is) but b/c shifting attention away from it will make encounters feel lower in stakes.
    Last edited by lemontrees; 12-15-2017 at 04:30 AM.

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