I'm not good with introductions.
I do not what my type is. I've taken several online tests but the result has varied. The type I get most frequently is INTP. I've read the profile for INTP, and while some of it sounds like me; there are parts of the description that do not fit. Either I do not understand exactly what they are asking or I am not answering truthfully.
I think of myself as a feeler type. As a child I would cry whenever my siblings were spanked, or whenever I saw someone in pain. I was very needy of my mother's attention, and cried whenever she left me alone for long periods. I attribute this to being an orphan. I was not adopted until I was 4-5 yrs old. I didn't have many friends growing up. At times I felt sad about this, but I can never recall feeling bored as a child. There was always something to think about or do.
I've always been very restless and physically active. I was never very good at team sports, but did reasonably well at solo sports. I did not like team sports because of the fear I would let people down. Anything that requires endurance and rigorous training appeals to me. Whenever I can not work off excess energy, I become very chatty and boisterous. Almost like the energy needs to be burned off somehow.
I have always been an average/below average student, but score very high on tests/exams. This is probably why my grades improved drastically when I started attending college. If I can see how a certain problem is done step by step, if a similar problem is given I can work out how to solve it. I learn faster by this method than being given piecemeal problems. Every bit of knowledge exists to support or refute another piece of knowledge.
Most of my friends are strong T types, as I find my personality and friendship style offends strong F types. They often think I do not like them or that I believe I am "hot stuff." I've been working on smalltalk and being friendly. I don't gain anything from these interactions, but find these are important to other people so I try. I've come to the conclusion that most people are so busy with their own issues/lives, that even if you are faking it they don't know the difference. I don't do this to hurt anyone or be deceitful, but to avoid conflict/negative feelings.
I am 21 yrs old and have yet to be in a longterm relationship. Sometimes I crave the intimacy that others have with their SO's. But being with someone and tricking your emotions into feeling what otherwise would not be there is sort of ridiculous. I know I am capable of emotional attachment, but think a lot of that comes from shared experience/time together. I do not want to become emotionally attached to someone who is not suitable or will have a negative impact on my life.
Dating/courtship are like foreign languages to me. Unless a person outright says they are interested, I will be clueless. I don't like playing the field, primarily because I am not adept at it. To a lesser extent I find it repugnant. I am not a virgin and believe sex can be casual. I doubt I am particularly good at it though, as I do not engage in much foreplay.
This is a rather long description. Hope someone makes it all the way down here. Thanks for the input!