ISTp and finely tuned emotions?

[wasp]

HOW DO I DELETE THIS GOD-FORSAKEN THREAD

I KEEPC LOSING IT AND RE-OPENIGN IT BECAUSE I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING AND IT DIDN'T COME WITH INSTRCTUONS

[Exodus]

You actually can't delete threads here AFAIK. Contact an admin maybe.

[chrys]

well that was an extremely crude thing to post you should delete this thread before someone sees it

[Hope]

Now I want to read what you were trying to say and why. Post it again.

[wasp]

Now I want to read what you were trying to say and why. Post it again.

I can't, I feel like someone just pantsed me in front of the whole school and now my crush won't even look me in the eyes

[Hope]

I can't, I feel like someone just pantsed me in front of the whole school and now my crush won't even look me in the eyes

Is your crush SLI?

[Bertrand]

I feel like if there were any justice in the world, if someone got pantsed in front of the whole school it would go worse for the pantser than the pantsee

[wasp]

@Syrup reopened it

nah my crush is IEE but that's a story for another time. right now I've taken an interest in the SLI type and I was curious about a few things related to emotional processing because I didn't quite understand the threads perpetuating the stereotype that they're cold when the descriptions state otherwise

I feel like if there were any justice in the world, if someone got pantsed in front of the whole school it would go worse for the pantser than the pantsee

Tell that to all the middle school movies where the pantsee gets thrown in the trash bin

[Hope]

@Syrup reopened it

Yay!

Some descriptions says that we look cold. Don't make me search and post because I'm lazy.

However, I think the stereotype comes from having Fe PoLR which manifests in poor manage and little expression of emotions. In other words we appear cold irl, which is not the same as not having feelings.

[wasp]

Yay!

Some descriptions says that we look cold. Don't make me search and post because I'm lazy.

However, I think the stereotype comes from having Fe PoLR which manifests in poor manage and little expression of emotions. In other words we appear cold irl, which is not the same as not having feelings.

eheh here's the original post

It's been written somewhere on the internet by a reputable source that SLIs have finely tuned emotions, and for this reason, they're capable of emulating facial expressions comparable to those of a skilled actor. Exaggeration, maybe, but I think there's some merit to it, which is interesting because EIEs are labeled actors, so I reckon it's the super-ego at play. They've been described as using their emotions, not to "infect" others with them, like an EIE might, but to set clear boundaries between themselves and other people with minimal verbal communication. I smirk, I like you, I look away, you step back.

There was more to the post originally but I don't think it's relevant anymore. the idea was inspired by this thread: "ISTps: acting tough and strong but being shy/sensitive underneath?" because it's not the first thread I've seen of that kind and although I'm aware that their perceived coldness is directly addressed in type descriptions, I've yet to grasp where along the line it became diluted from "ISTps may appear cold" to "ISTps are cold" and why some posters believe that it's a miracle whenever they encounter warm ISTps. based on the cumulative descriptions I've read, most, if not all, socionists have directly stated that ISTps are sensitive and vulnerable, quite literally "finely tuned emotions", so I don't know why it's perceived as a grand revelation to some whenever they discover that on their own, obviously not all but there's a few. whereas I always thought it depended on upbringing + accumulative life experiences, because I've known quite a few to dabble in poetry and the females in particular seem to have an affinity for media and literature with romantic undertones, so I was gonna ask the ISTps of this forum how they'd describe their personal attitude toward/relationship with their emotions

I just lost my breath typing that post

[Connorrrrr]

I love ISTps so much. All of the good friends that I have encountered that have been ISTp have almost always, without fail, been a little wounded inside emotionally. It's so, so, so wonderful to be able to be with one as they pour their heart out to you. It takes work to get to that point in a relationship with one to the point they feel comfortable doing that, because they can have up some pretty strong walls, but it is amazing. I wish I understood more about how they function, because they fascinate me.

[Tallmo]

Very finely tuned emotions = Fe poLR

That's SLI

[Hope]

In my culture is made a distinction between emotions and feelings (I've noticed other cultures dont make a distinction or its not so clear), being emotions intense but ephemeral states of mood that are psycho-physiological sudden reactions to external situations, while feelings are prolonged states of mood that doesn't need an external stimuli to appear since they are subjective (they are formed from reflection, thinking, decision process etc), they are not sudden, they don't need to express strongly and reflect in dramatic body reactions (like change in blood pressure, heartbeat etc). An emotion can last minutes, hours or few days, but a feeling would last weeks, months or years. An emotion can appear suddenly and disappear with the same easiness, a feeling needs time to appear and disappear. Feelings or sentiments are complex, introspective and long lasting, emotions are ephemeral, spontaneous and affect externally.

That said, Fe would goes more towards Emotions (extroverted, provoked from external causes) while Fi towards feeling (introverted, subjective process).

So, talking personally, I experience feelings not so many emotions and barely express any of them in my real life (emotions or feelings). Text for me is an easy way to express emotions, feelings and thoughts. Not the same when talking in person.

Anyway, my emotional or mental state is more or less constant, which means that I'm a sentimental person, more than an emotional one. In fact I'm pretty bad in setting an emotional tone to my interactions irl, even if I feel certain way. Other people's emotional states rarely infects me (in the sense of being motivated to enter in the same emotional state). People often feel demotivated by this trait of mine.

I think that art can be constructed from Emotions or Feelings and could evoke or impact both. So the thing of SLIs enjoying some artistic stuff have nothing to do with being 1DFe or being emotionally "cold" in the exterior.

More so, one dimensional functions (1D) means that are experienced in first person in a subjective way, so SLIs have emotions but dont know how to express or manage them in daily basis in normal situations. F.e. I genuinely don't know what to do when someone is crying. I don't know how to tune myself to their emotions and how comfort them more than with words. And when there is a strong emotion like a lost, what can you say? I prefer avoid being in such situations. I just hug ppl in that situations, don't say a word and leave as soon as possible.
Another situation like that is the joy or cheerfulness of ppl in general, like in parties... I utterly don't feel it as contagious and don't know how to react more than smile, stare and leave.

In such situations people obviously would think that I'm cold or at least a little bit strange. A bunch associate this with being angry or antipathetic, unfriendly, pretentious etc, etc. I don't get angry if ppl think of me as being cold, It annoys me when they start associating my 1DFe with other characteristics like being a bitch, or unfriendly, antipathetic, pretentious, etc etc. And I feel very uncomfortable when ppl react poorly at that...like getting angry or doing gestures, etc. This all turns socialization in a very hard road, specially in group activities in relaxed environments (like parties). 1x1 interactions can be easier depending on the person, though. This is a common topic in all ISTP forums on the web too.

[Sol]

and now my crush won't even look me in the eyes

Not a problem. Should be other to show, anyway.

> I didn't quite understand the threads perpetuating the stereotype that they're cold when the descriptions state otherwise

All T types look as cold compared to F types. In close relations they'll express more feelings and romance will push more emotions in their consciousness. Be prepared to notice those emotions as wild and childish - in case of good IR you'll find this cute.

[wasp]

@Syrup I love that distinction

I knew there was a difference between Fe and Fi in that sense, but I never would've thought to distinguish them using "emotions" and "feelings". Only tangentially related, but there's a quote I read a while back: "we are as sick as our secrets", meaning that the less we express what we believe separates us from others, the stronger our sense of shame. I imagine it works similarly for any feeling. The less we express them, the stronger they get. Have there been any unique occasions where you have felt comfortable opening up about your feelings in person? Or do you always keep them pent up inside? I remember you mentioning your IEE boyfriend so I assume it's easiest with him, but I'm still curious what factors have to come together in order to create a safe enough space to open up. And I'm wondering how it works when something resonates with you. If you've ever been in a situation where someone else's emotional experience(s) have perfectly emulated your own, if maybe it's a little easier when you know exactly how they might feel. In this sense, I see Fe as the ability to extrapolate and congregate emotional experiences, "universal feelings", whereas Fi, especially Fe PoLR, is entirely personalized.

I've read that Si = lives by the present day (simplification) and I've always wondered if that meant the feelings they experience feel all-encompassing, like they live inside their feelings. Mostly in the case of SLI. So if feelings of love or hatred pierce through then it lingers until it dissipates on its own. And if their innate attachment to reality as it is, makes it so that they have an easier time recalling specific emotional experiences. Harder time as well, since it may require re-entering past head-spaces (or maybe I'm mixing up functions here). But those questions are a little more difficult to answer. It was prompted by what you wrote about feeling disconnected from the collective emotional atmosphere and how it can be hurtful when people misinterpret your surface "coldness" for negative identifiers (angry, unfriendly, antagonistic) and I'm curious how that stuff impacts you. Being misunderstood like that.

I reckon my brother is SLI (at least that's how he scored on the tests I sent him). Like the descriptions state, he usually expresses his feelings through deeds and actions. He can be pretty expressive when he's debating or watching a sports match but even then it's totally independent from the emotional atmosphere around him. In the case of his softer feelings (melancholy, for example) he keeps to himself, but he has a strong sense of sympathy which I don't know if anybody else in my family has noticed, but he's usually the first to step up when one of us feels bad, whether emotionally or physically. It's just so subtle that I feel like it slips on their radars. I assume it's different for each individual SLI because it seems that this type is slightly more susceptible to being defined by their accumulative life experiences than other types; if they've collected positive experiences then they're more open and giving, but if they've collected negative experiences then they're less so, like Coonnooor said, they can develop very strong walls. Is that true for you?

What I wrote about poetry, media, and literature was more related to Fi HA than Fe PoLR. I think love is a universal desire for many females but it seems especially prominent in SLI females. And they seem to be more easily moved by "love" than most females. Did you ever find yourself drawn to love in a similar fashion? At one point I considered this type for myself because the desire for love feels tantalizing in some ways, but I'm probably not cool enough.

Lots of questions, but you don't have to answer if you don't feel comfortable. I really appreciate you taking the time to explain what you have already.

Hold up, where do you live?

[Exodus]

It's been written somewhere on the internet by a reputable source that SLIs have finely tuned emotions, and for this reason, they're capable of emulating facial expressions comparable to those of a skilled actor.

Where and by whom?

[wasp]

@Bertrand question

How does it differ between Fe-leads and Fi-creatives? Do Fi-creatives compromise Fi-bonds when they're in Fe-demonstrative mode in the same way that Fe-leads might in their natural state? I've read that the demonstrative is a knee-jerk reaction. And creative functions are just that, sporadic usage.

And, in your opinion, how exactly do Fi HA and Fe PoLR manifest in the SLI type?

edit: where'd your post go?

[wasp]

Where and by whom?

I'll search for it later

[Bertrand]

@Bertrand question

How does it differ between Fe-leads and Fi-creatives? Do Fi-creatives compromise Fi-bonds when they're in Fe-demonstrative mode in the same way that Fe-leads might in their natural state? I've read that the demonstrative is a knee-jerk reaction. And creative functions are just that, sporadic usage.

And, in your opinion, how exactly do Fi HA and Fe PoLR manifest in the SLI type?

edit: where'd your post go?

oh sorry, I just felt like it wasn't any good... I don't really know but I do know IEE is always on about fear and I suspect its linked to SLI and how they essentially have trouble processing emotional manifestations and much prefer to stick to Te, and sufficient emotional manifestations creates real terror in them and they distance themselves first in space, then in time, if its creating anxiety for them, hence IEE and their obsession with managing fear in other people

i think in general they have a hard time admitting this because subconscious Fi and painful Fe make it hard to sort out and its why IEE is "the psychologist" because you basically need to get them "on the couch" for a protracted period for them to even realize it. in a way both SLI and IEE are real "run from their problems" types

the SLI I loved once admitted she felt something was deeply wrong with her but she couldnt put her finger on it and she thought she was likely to be "forever alone" for that reason. which is I think a verbalization of a Fi fear (relations) caused by the general pattern of Si/Ni mode of dealing with (distancing oneself from painful emotions) Fe polr issues that inevitably come up in romantic relationships

[wasp]

oh sorry, I just felt like it wasn't any good... I don't really know but I do know IEE is always on about fear and I suspect its linked to SLI and how they essentially have trouble processing emotional manifestations and much prefer to stick to Te, and sufficient emotional manifestations creates real terror in them and they distance themselves first in space, then in time, if its creating anxiety for them, hence IEE and their obsession with managing fear in other people

i think in general they have a hard time admitting this because subconscious Fi and painful Fe make it hard to sort out and its why IEE is "the psychologist" because you basically need to get them "on the couch" for a protracted period for them to even realize it. in a way both SLI and IEE are real "run from their problems" types

the SLI I loved once admitted she felt something was deeply wrong with her but she couldnt put her finger on it and she thought she was likely to be "forever alone" for that reason. which is I think a verbalization of a Fi fear (relations) caused by the general pattern of Si/Ni mode of dealing with (distancing oneself from painful emotions) Fe polr issues that inevitably come up in romantic relationships

aw Bertrand in love, what's it like?

Does this mean that Fe PoLR can't feel love from other people?

because my hypothesis is that, in order to feel loved, they need to experience direct proof of love firsthand, over a long course of time (Pi-Te, more Te than Pi) but even then, they'll always be a little distrustful of EDF (external display of feelings). They're only truly confident in their own feelings. Even if their partner proves they love them time and time again, they're almost entirely driven by their own love. That one satirical "uncovered" description for SLI claimed that they "test" their partners by hurting them. I could see what the author meant, even if I understood it was mostly for comediceffect.jpeg

I have an ISTP/SLI friend (again, that's what she scores on tests, I have no idea if it's accurate or not, but she matches well enough) who put it in more tactful terms. She says she purposefully makes it difficult for her romantic interest by creating obstacles (it's equal parts conscious obstacles and unconscious defensive mechanisms imo) to test how he responds to her when she's being unreasonable because she detests hot-heads. But if he proves to be diplomatic, despite all odds, then she feels safer and more comfortable, it's those tangible displays of "love" (as she understands it) she's seeking

I wonder if it's similar for your SLI ex, except that maybe she doesn't feel they tried hard enough, so it's an output of love with no feedback loop

can you asplain the bold

[Bertrand]

i mean that in some sense you tend to orient your insights towards your duals; or to put it a different way, what one has to offer is what the dual is naturally seeking. so for IEEs trying to cure the world's problem by analysis in terms of fear suggests to me its a property of SLI and meant for them

Does this mean that Fe PoLR can't feel love from other people?

I mean I guess it comes down to what do you mean by "feel love"?-- they certainly are fully capable of feeling love from another person, its just they're not looking for the ESE/EIE manifestation of it. its sort of how like each dyad has a way of expressing love in its own private language; to say Fe polr can't participate with the rest of the socion is definitely not right, just that it looks different... in some sense this is true of every dyad and that love I think in the deep sense arises more out of Fi/Ni than any other function and what informs the Fi/Ni is potentially any other function.. i think ESE and ESI probably have the most stereotypical outward manifestation of it but its particular to every type.. I think to put it in perspective, its a lot how extroverts define the desirability of their partner in terms of how they impact the world. so like a certain might legitimately want "the prettiest girl in the room" and it sounds a little vulgar to other types maybe, but from the point of view of the type who legitimately uses that criterion its as much a compliment and more real and genuine as any words in the mouth of any other type. to them its just them dryly kind of stating "I think this person is the best person in the world" (keeping in mind local = world for many types)... a better wordsmith might say "she is the most beautiful woman in the world" "she is my everything" etc

I mean, I feel like you can always interpret your ex-lovers attempts to break up as mere tests but that can become a slippery slope and maybe you just end up with a restraining order. SLI in many ways remains a total mystery to me. to think it may have all been a test and I failed is agony because I did not know... which is I think the deathblow to Ne's existence




for me, being in love is like waking up from a dream where nothing is real and suddenly you believe in something real for the first time and life has meaning. the problem is you occasionally forget and get lost again, go back to sleep and everything is wrong again... one day its your last day and you don't even know it yet, and then time passes you realize what has happened and you gradually accept you won't be finding your way back again... and there's no real choice but to go on in the hope that maybe if you can't find your way back you will try and find your way forward. but a part of you always remembers and is grateful. and its that gratitude that makes it so okay that even if you never get a second bite you can't be too mad about it. and when you realize you're so grateful that life is worth living even with nothing, that's when you know it was love

because I really believe if you truly love even once, you carry it with you forever... I hope everyone can experience that, but a part of me knows that's not happening, and then the gratitude multiplies and that's how it can sustain itself. its a blessing you absolutely cannot be cynical about once you've experienced it

its really hard to describe that feeling that you can tap into which creates the gratitude. its like knowing no matter what, you're never really alone because you carry that person with you and they you and there's no getting rid of that and that's what makes it so beautiful. everything I do now carries with it a piece of her. her mark. and I'm really proud of that, and I want things to be good for her, and I want to live, just to show that piece off sometimes, because I love her and I want the world to see that and I want others to experience that... and I really think if you can participate in that its like a secret club and its members live forever because they, for at least a moment, truly lived and that's all you can ask from life--you got it all

I can tell when I look at people too. its written all over people

[squark]

In my culture is made a distinction between emotions and feelings (I've noticed other cultures dont make a distinction or its not so clear), being emotions intense but ephemeral states of mood that are psycho-physiological sudden reactions to external situations, while feelings are prolonged states of mood that doesn't need an external stimuli to appear since they are subjective (the form from reflection, thinking, decision process etc), they are not sudden, they don't need to express strongly and don't have dramatic body reactions (like change in blood pressure, heartbeat etc). An emotion can last minutes, hours or few days, but a feeling would last weeks, months or years. An emotion can appear suddenly and disappear with the same easiness, a feeling needs time to appear and disappear. Feelings or sentiments are complex, introspective and long lasting, emotions are ephemeral, spontaneous and external.

That said, Fe would goes more towards Emotions (extroverted, provoked from external causes process) while Fi towards feeling (introverted, subjective process).

So, talking personally, I experience bunch of feelings not so many emotions and barely express any of them in my real life (emotions or feelings). Text for me is an easy way to express emotions, feelings and thoughts. Not the same with talking in person.

Anyway, my emotional or mental state is more or less constant, which means that I'm a sentimental person, more than an emotional one. In fact I'm pretty bad in setting an emotional tone to my interactions irl, even if I feel certain way. Other people's emotional states rarely infects me (in the sense of being motivated to enter in the same emotional state). People often feel demotivated by this trait of mine.

Quoting this because it's a good distinction imo. I thought I had something to add, but it escapes me now.

[wasp]

for me, being in love is like waking up from a dream where nothing is real and suddenly you believe in something real for the first time and life has meaning. the problem is you occasionally forget and get lost again, go back to sleep and everything is wrong again... one day its your last day and you don't even know it yet, and then time passes you realize what has happened and you accept you'll never find your way back again... and there's no real choice but to go on in the hope that maybe if you can't find your way back you will find your way forward. but a part of you always remembers and is grateful. and its that gratitude that makes it so okay that even if you never get a second bite you can't be too mad about it. and when you realize you're so grateful that life is worth living even with nothing, that's when you know it was love

because I really believe if you truly love even once, you carry it with you forever... I hope everyone can experience that, but a part of me knows that's not happening, and then the gratitude multiplies and that's how it can sustain itself. its a blessing you absolutely cannot be cynical about once you've experienced it

this is pretty

[wasp]

@Syrup I keep returning to this thread but my brain is in a completely different head-space right now, but I'll try to get to it soon

[strangeling]

HOW DO I DELETE THIS GOD-FORSAKEN THREAD

I KEEPC LOSING IT AND RE-OPENIGN IT BECAUSE I DONT KNOW WHAT IM DOING AND IT DIDN'T COME WITH INSTRCTUONS

Okay, if you transfer about 1 or 2 bitcoins (2 preferably) to this address, someone will solve the problem within the hour.

1VXwyuhGmpBzBJ8HvmhaZ74SH2dcmZsiT

[wasp]

Okay, if you transfer about 1 or 2 bitcoins (2 preferably) to this address, someone will solve the problem within the hour.

1VXwyuhGmpBzBJ8HvmhaZ74SH2dcmZsiT

unfortunately I only have half a dogecoin, three pieces of pocket lint, and I lied about the dogecoin.

[wasp]

@Syrup i don't know if you're still interested in continuing the conversation, no worries if the window has passed, but if you are, would it be alright if i moved it to PMs? it got weirdly personal and i don't know if i want that waving around in public, but i don't wanna leave you hanging either. this feels poorly timed on my end considering the misunderstanding a few days ago but this conversation has been in the back of my mind for a while now

[Hope]

@wasp
Yes you can.