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Thread: SLEs/ESTps and depression episodes

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    Default SLEs/ESTps and depression episodes

    I think my ESTP friend is going through a depressive episode . Basically he's become quiet and withdrawn, says that he's begun drinking alone, and doesn't want to do much more than "stick fight" (a type of martial arts which consists of bruising and beating the crap out of one another with wooden sticks). I also asked him how he was doing and he simply said "surviving." Granted we're not close friends, so there probably isn't much I can do, but if there is, what can I do? Based on what I know about ESTPs, they're very self-reliant and reluctant to accept help, so even if I could do something I don't think he'd want me to.
    My questions are these: do ESTPs often find themselves experiencing depression? Are ESTPs usually good at pulling themselves up by their bootstraps and getting out of depressive episodes like this? I've always thought so, but maybe my friend is a different story.

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    oyburger's Avatar
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    Whenever my husband goes through a depressive episode, he becomes desctructive (hissy-fit), but after a few days he'll talk it out with someone and feel better.
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    try bringing up future goals and aspirations... if he can get excited about a goal there's hope

    if it looks like he's actually in danger, it may be a good idea to talk to someone closer to him. medication *could* help him a lot. if he starts taking an SSRI though it's very important for people to watch him carefully.
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    I'm back, assholes! Herzy's Avatar
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    Bring him outside on a sunny day, and get him moving. Make sure that he knows that he's got a bunch of awesome things that will happen in his future. Whatever you do, don't just let him lie around the house all day. That's probably the worst thing that he could do.


    My questions are these: do ESTPs often find themselves experiencing depression? Are ESTPs usually good at pulling themselves up by their bootstraps and getting out of depressive episodes like this? I've always thought so, but maybe my friend is a different story.
    I experienced some sort of depression for about two months, about three years ago. Basically, I wasn't doing much, I wasn't confident about my friends, I didn't like the way I looked, and I felt like a worthless emo sack of potatoes, all day, every day. It almost felt as if my brain half the capacity than what it normally does. That lasted for a few months, then I decided that I couldn't last like this forever. So, I researched about it on the internet. I decided that I was the only one who could change myself, so I really made an effort to get my ass out and stop feeling sorry for myself. And what do you know! I actually began to love life after all that. I made a promise to myself that I would never experience anything like that ever again. The best way for me to do this was to be active, and to ignore little things that would've made me pissed in the past. I haven't experienced any sort of depressive state since then.

    I hope that helped!
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  5. #5
    Creepy-aurora_faerie

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    it sux


    try bringing up future goals and aspirations... if he can get excited about a goal there's hope


    lol yeah


    oh and if that doesn't work, and he just gets all "whoa is me"...i just pretend to get mad (when im normally just sort of annoyed/concerned") and storm away, and then he'll come out later and try to make me smile

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    it sounds like uninspired is talking about clinical depression, not a depressed mood

    Herzy's idea is good... get him moving around outside... If he's ESTp and isn't willing to do that, there's a big problem and he should get professional help.
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    Creepy-aurora_faerie

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    the estp's i know are very stubborn about professional help

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    lol I can believe it!
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    oyburger's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aurora_faerie
    the estp's i know are very stubborn about professional help
    ditto
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    Be positive around him. Don't let him drink alone. Bring him out, get girls, walk around. New ideas. Anything exciting.
    INFP

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    Iíve never known a depressed ESTp, though Iíve never been particularly close-close with one.

    The only thing I knew an ESTp friend to get depressed over was relationships. (I think she was also upset over family problems a while back, but almost never talks about it.)

    A girl I know was telling me what happened when that ESTp friend had a bad breakup with one of her boyfriends... apparently she just randomly came over to her house crying, cleaned herself up, then called into bed with her and sulked (and thats all I really know).
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    Quote Originally Posted by oyburger
    Whenever my husband goes through a depressive episode, he becomes desctructive (hissy-fit), but after a few days he'll talk it out with someone and feel better.
    Yeah. He'll get out of it alone. You shouldn't try to talk to him about that, because he will react very very sternly. Wait for him to come out of it, it won't take much really. The only thing that makes me "depressed" (so-to-speak) is anxiety due to bad relationships.
    Obsequium amicos, veritas odium parit

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    Quote Originally Posted by FDG
    Quote Originally Posted by oyburger
    Whenever my husband goes through a depressive episode, he becomes desctructive (hissy-fit), but after a few days he'll talk it out with someone and feel better.
    Yeah. He'll get out of it alone. You shouldn't try to talk to him about that, because he will react very very sternly. Wait for him to come out of it, it won't take much really. The only thing that makes me "depressed" (so-to-speak) is anxiety due to bad relationships.
    That seems to be what makes him depressed too, well that and when something big doesn't go his way.
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    @Uninspired: How long has this depressive episode been going on? Have you managed to get any info on what it is that caused him to become depressed?

  15. #15
    Creepy-aurora_faerie

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    forgot a good one


    have sex with them


    or if you are female and he is male, show him boobies, that works for me

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    Quote Originally Posted by aurora_faerie
    forgot a good one


    have sex with them


    or if you are female and he is male, show him boobies, that works for me
    Unless he's an ass man, but yeah that does work lol.
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    I just figured out why he's so vulnerable to depression - he's ESFP (se-subtype) instead of ESTP. I don't know how I could have been so oblivious. I think he's depressed because he's had several relationships that haven't worked out. I've heard ESFPs are very relationship-oriented, so maybe he's waiting for that ideal, magical romance that will drown his sorrows and bring him the ecstasy he seeks. Whatever the problem is, though, I think he'll get through it. He seems fairly resilient.

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    Well done uninspired. That makes some sense i think

    Take him out, invite him to parties. Make him realise that many of his best qualties come out when hes around others.
    ENFp (Unsure of Subtype)

    "And the day came when the risk it took to remain closed in a bud became more painful than the risk it took to blossom." - AnaÔs Nin

  19. #19
    Creepy-aurora_faerie

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    Mine is pretty relationship oriented yes, and I'm glad you figured it out, now he just needs to stop being sad !!!!!!!!!!!!

    But yeah, if it seems like any of his friendships are out of wack he freak out, and when Im not accessible he gets really really down too. =/

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    Quote Originally Posted by uninspired
    Whatever the problem is, though, I think he'll get through it. He seems fairly resilient.
    I agree, people are often too quick nowadays to jump to or suggest the use of drugs or other such means to drown out a problem when all they really needed to do was deal with their emotions. It'll take awhile but I'm sure your friend will be fine

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    Since estp's hidden agenda's is to be loved, they would get depressed and down if the people around them don't show love and admiration and interest and so forth.
    INFP

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    Let's fly now Gilly's Avatar
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    Call him up with ideas about things to do. Get him moving and exercising.
    But, for a certainty, back then,
    We loved so many, yet hated so much,
    We hurt others and were hurt ourselves...

    Yet even then, we ran like the wind,
    Whilst our laughter echoed,
    Under cerulean skies...

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    I'm back, assholes! Herzy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dreamer
    Since estp's hidden agenda's is to be loved, they would get depressed and down if the people around them don't show love and admiration and interest and so forth.
    Yeah, that happens to me sometimes. I can usually snap out of that pretty quickly though.
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