If you like your dual so much, do you want to become your dual?

[darya]

My ILI ex also said he did not experience empathy and that seemed to be true for many years. He understood it intellectually and actively studied it to master it and his own emotions. Did a pretty good job too but it took a long time. I think he had it but it was not prominent enough in his psyche for him to be consciously aware of. He also didn't value Fe and was a thinker > feeler so I think that made a difference when it came to his awareness of any empathy he might have in him.

My family didn't like him at first but later grew to accept and love him as part of our family. They thought he was cold and robotic so even my telling them different didn't make much difference to them. He didn't cry when his dad died but later he did cry when his cat died. He also said he cried when I left him which surprised me. I only saw him cry that one time over his cat in all the years I knew him. I understand why my family was so freaked out by it. He was not a psychopath/sociopath. It was just the way he was. He asked me if he could be autistic once and I talked him out of thinking that because I don't think he was.

My ILI ex was similar. He intellectualized emotional situations and human relations. He could be sweet and adorable on some occasions, but then become completely detached in a sec. When I showed emotions he started to assess if they are true or not -he saw emotional manipulation where absolutely none was present. He wasnt autistic or psythopath though, I'm sure of it, just shizoid (to some extent).

Strangely he cried histerically in front of me when we broke up, which is odd since he initiated it lol, and he said he didnt cry before since he was a child. Odd creature.

[Olimpia]

You can't become your Dual anyway, so.

Also, your Dual is so different in almost every single way except for the Quadra values, so typically you wouldn't even think about becoming like them. Most people want to become like a type that is closer to theirs (aka someone who has similar strengths/weaknesses but is superior in one domain), like the Mirror or Kindred partner.

[Suz]

It has to do with the usefulness of ego functions and expectations from environment. Work. What is expected in formal education etc. Here SEI is in a weak position

Are you trying to say that weakness with Te results in difficulty with work and school? In that case IEI, EIE, ESE, IEE, SEE, EII, and ESI should also be in the same boat.

sounds to me like you're maybe trying to rationalize your own issues with a socionics type. In certain settings, an SEI could certainly be set up to fail, as could another type (in a different setting), I can agree with that. However, SEIs could certainly succeed in school and work; the SEI type is not mutually exclusive with this. In fact, there are descriptions that specifically comment on the fact that SEIs can be very industrious with school and work if they need to please, and they can be very good students because they don't want to disappoint.

People often think of Si as manifesting with laziness and comfort-seeking, but they often overlook the fact that Si is also a dynamic function that can be almost prophetic sometimes from internal sensory information gathered in the past, extrapolated into the future. Also Si doms have strength in being super detail oriented, and in their people skills. Being Ti-valuing, if there is a teacher or study buddy who helps put these details into a logical framework, then things get even better. SEIs may have more difficulty with dry info-based material that needs to simply be memorized and jobs that demand efficiency and business logic (which not only are difficult for the SEI but makes them scoff) , but there's plenty of other things in the educational world that they can succeed in. the other take away point is that a type's strengths can compensate for one's weaknesses. A Te-dom person has certain fields in school and work where they might fail as well.

The beauty of socionics is that each type has their strengths and weaknesses and all can be successful if they nurture their strengths and find their calling.

[Chae]

You can't become your Dual anyway, so.

Also, your Dual is so different in almost every single way except for the Quadra values, so typically you wouldn't even think about becoming like them. Most people want to become like a type that is closer to theirs (aka someone who has similar strengths/weaknesses but is superior in one domain), like the Mirror or Kindred partner.

Yup^^^

[wasp]

There has to be some use for the Ego functions. Otherwise the person might never realize he has this skill. a LII discovers that he can think etc. For SEI it can be difficult to put the functions to use. SEIs needs to do art and stuff like that in order to realize who they are. We know this because we know socionics. But the ordinary person has to discover himself on his own.

I halfway agree with this. my SEI friend is a wonderful artist. she drew regularly until the age of 12 before she slowed down - now she draws once a year and every time it's a masterpiece. I still don't think she realizes how impressive it is that she's able to draw such realistic imagery with so little experience, so I make a point of reminding her whenever it's appropriate. It just comes so naturally to her. which areas would you say the other types thrive in?

[Tallmo]

I halfway agree with this. my SEI friend is a wonderful artist. she drew regularly until the age of 12 before she slowed down - now she draws once a year and every time it's a masterpiece. I still don't think she realizes how impressive it is that she's able to draw such realistic imagery with so little experience, so I make a point of reminding her whenever it's appropriate. It just comes so naturally to her. which areas would you say the other types thrive in?

Good for her.

Only a minority of SEIs are actually artistic, so it's even harder for the rest of the SEIs to put the Ego to use. But something related to art, cooking etc...

I can't go over all the types here. I am sure you know some of their strengths.

[Suz]

Good for her.

Only a minority of SEIs are actually artistic, so it's even harder for the rest of the SEIs to put the Ego to use. But something related to art, cooking etc...

I can't go over all the types here. I am sure you know some of their strengths.

I'll help you out here.

Excerpted from Filatova's SEI description:

Job Options

The best jobs for SFIs [SEIs] are in the field of human services. They make outstanding performers, musicians, painters, and can also work successfully in medicine or teaching. SFIs’ abilities can be best utilized in the areas of architecture, interior decorating, fashion design, or productive cooking.

The sky's the limit.

[Tonatiuh]

My ILI ex also said he did not experience empathy and that seemed to be true for many years. He understood it intellectually and actively studied it to master it and his own emotions. Did a pretty good job too but it took a long time. I think he had it but it was not prominent enough in his psyche for him to be consciously aware of. He also didn't value Fe and was a thinker > feeler so I think that made a difference when it came to his awareness of any empathy he might have in him.

My family didn't like him at first but later grew to accept and love him as part of our family. They thought he was cold and robotic so even my telling them different didn't make much difference to them. He didn't cry when his dad died but later he did cry when his cat died. He also said he cried when I left him which surprised me. I only saw him cry that one time over his cat in all the years I knew him. I understand why my family was so freaked out by it. He was not a psychopath/sociopath. It was just the way he was. He asked me if he could be autistic once and I talked him out of thinking that because I don't think he was.

I think what has evoked the most strong emotional reactions in me is feeling like I am spiraling out of control. Like this, everything is always spiralling out of control. But in some instances it's speed increases. Like a process that should take years occur in a matter of days or even seconds. Fucking up something that I in a moments notice understand will take months / years to abridge. That's what can mess me up. Anyway, I think it's a question of neurology top to bottom. I see the world in a certain way, this will act in turn as my prism to the external world. Everyone do this all the time. The output will differ through the lense though. But to reply to what you said, for the last 15 years the only time I have cried was when I broke up with my long term girlfriend and when I thought I was gonna get kicked out of the military cuz of my hearing damage.

[dot]

Are you trying to say that weakness with Te results in difficulty with work and school? In that case IEI, EIE, ESE, IEE, SEE, EII, and ESI should also be in the same boat.

sounds to me like you're maybe trying to rationalize your own issues with a socionics type. In certain settings, an SEI could certainly be set up to fail, as could another type (in a different setting), I can agree with that. However, SEIs could certainly succeed in school and work; the SEI type is not mutually exclusive with this. In fact, there are descriptions that specifically comment on the fact that SEIs can be very industrious with school and work if they need to please, and they can be very good students because they don't want to disappoint.

People often think of Si as manifesting with laziness and comfort-seeking, but they often overlook the fact that Si is also a dynamic function that can be almost prophetic sometimes from internal sensory information gathered in the past, extrapolated into the future. Also Si doms have strength in being super detail oriented, and in their people skills. Being Ti-valuing, if there is a teacher or study buddy who helps put these details into a logical framework, then things get even better. SEIs may have more difficulty with dry info-based material that needs to simply be memorized and jobs that demand efficiency and business logic (which not only are difficult for the SEI but makes them scoff) , but there's plenty of other things in the educational world that they can succeed in. the other take away point is that a type's strengths can compensate for one's weaknesses. A Te-dom person has certain fields in school and work where they might fail as well.

The beauty of socionics is that each type has their strengths and weaknesses and all can be successful if they nurture their strengths and find their calling.

Just saying it again: the best types at school from my experiences were all ethical types. IEIs and SEIs were always at the top in my experience, even though they have Te-POLR. I easily out-did most people in 'quick-mindedness', intelligence and interdisciplinary understanding and so did many other ethical types. If I wouldn't have been so lazy I would have easily made it to the top, but even with laziness I never had to try hard at school. One of the top-notch students of my year was in fact ESE. Ethics aren't useless at all, bcs if they were evolution would've removed us already a long time ago.
Yes technical stuff bores the shit outta me, I am not the most practical person blablabla.. yet I would say I could do fairly well.. maybe I should work on my attitude though.. I can be a stubborn ass-hat.

[dot]

You can't become your Dual anyway, so.

Also, your Dual is so different in almost every single way except for the Quadra values, so typically you wouldn't even think about becoming like them. Most people want to become like a type that is closer to theirs (aka someone who has similar strengths/weaknesses but is superior in one domain), like the Mirror or Kindred partner.

I remember @Starfall saying half-jokingly that she somtimes wished she would have been born SLE and I also had a few moments where I thought things would be a bit easier.. Though you might always wish you were a bit different.. so yeah, the possibility to want to be more like your dual is there. Best would be to have both of their qualities, but that is probably not possible haha..

[Suz]

Just saying it again: the best types at school from my experiences were all ethical types. IEIs and SEIs were always at the top in my experience, even though they have Te-POLR. I easily out-did most people in 'quick-mindedness', intelligence and interdisciplinary understanding and so did many other ethical types. If I wouldn't have been so lazy I would have easily made it to the top, but even with laziness I never had to try hard at school. One of the top-notch students of my year was in fact ESE. Ethics aren't useless at all, bcs if they were evolution would've removed us already a long time ago.
Yes technical stuff bores the shit outta me, I am not the most practical person blablabla.. yet I would say I could do fairly well.. maybe I should work on my attitude though.. I can be a stubborn ass-hat.

Exactly. Intelligence is not type related.
Thanks for illustrating your experience!