Originally Posted by Cuivienen
Why do you get to decide what hurts people and what doesn't? How often do you get asked to show your tits (or have them grabbed by strangers or have senior colleagues offer you sex for a promotion or have random guys grab your ass or have guys try to kiss you after you said no or have people stare at your chest when talking to you)? There comes a point when it stops being funny.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
I don't and neither do you. That is my point, actually.
Well I don't have any tits to show, so why would anyone ask me? I do have other assets though, haha.
Honestly, think about all the advantages this attention can give you. You could easily use sex appeal to further your career and influence. Female privilege.
Haha, I think realistically the men i work with would be really uncomfortable and find it unprofessional if I flopped my cleavage over their desks. I don't think it really works that way irl most of the time...
I did consciously use femininity with ONE guy because he was a conservative troglodyte who talked down to me and batting my eyelashes was the only way I could get him to listen, so I wouldn't really call it a privilege bcuz it was a workaround the disadvantage I had as a young woman in his eyes.
Some privilege to have some drunk guy who knows I am in a relationship tell everyone we are a thing (never were) and keep insisting I sleep with him. It ended up fucking with my career because I couldn't work in that field anymore (because he is the ultimate authority there).
And is it really so difficult to understand that being groped by gross people sucks?
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
This hints at an unanticipated consequence of feminism for women.
As the workforce becomes more and more female, seduction will become less and less effective as a tactic for women. Whereas young, attractive men will be able to use sex appeal to their benefit in much the way you are describing. Supply vs demand.
Whether you consider this to be an advantage or disadvantage simply depends on your point of view.
I don't think the joke was out of line either. I read the stuff, and actually thought it was quite funny. Dont know why these idiots get so upset over it. Probably are mad that its a 50yo dude hitting on them and not some young guyHi, @Number 9 large.
My original intention in the chat conversation, which you can still read in the chat archive, was to jokingly let Delilah know that just quietly pining for a guy doesn’t always work, and she might have to make some move to let him know that she has some interest in him.
My suggestion of showing her tits to him (not to me, for Christ’s sake) was metaphoric, and only someone totally lacking in a sense of humor would think otherwise. She could have taken it to mean that she just lean toward him, because, quite frankly, this works for most men and preserves the woman’s dignity, or she could have just laughed, which is what I was hoping for.
She chose to interpret my suggestion for getting the guy’s attention in the worst possible way. This is certainly her right, so when she complained, I sent her an apology in PM. This was not enough for her, evidently, so I publicly apologized.
I actually don’t think my suggestion was out of line in the context in which it was meant – some people can take a joke, some can’t, and on-line discussions contain huge potentials for misunderstandings - , but it upset her, and upsetting her was never my intention. So I said I was sorry and I resolved never to speak to her again in this way.
I’ve pretty much stayed quiet about this since my apology, since there isn’t much more I can do. Now, lungs might prefer that I set myself on fire and film it, but I’m not going to do that.
I have found the comments following my apology to be pretty interesting.
With regard to lungs, I understand why she jumped in to pour gasoline on the fire. But @Kim? Do you really think I disrespect all women? Do you think I disrespect you? Really, some of your own posts about your dates gone wrong look worse than what I said. I simply think they are hilarious. I don’t assume you hate all men just because you describe some guys in less than glowing terms.
But @Number 9 large, I agree with you. I don’t get women by being a little bitch to them. I do try to avoid hurting their feelings, though, and I certainly don’t try to put them down or insult them intentionally. I don’t like to bite people back, because I’m actually pretty good at it, and it hurts them, and since intentionally hurting people goes against my religion, I typically say nothing when I get attacked. Vengeance is not constructive.
In the larger scheme of things, I said something to Delilah which I hoped would be constructive but which offended her and when she protested, I apologized, because she deserves to be treated with respect.
I’d do the same if she were a guy, Kim.
Everyone’s tolerance for a joke is different, and once I find out what that level is, I respect their boundaries and move on.
Anyway @lungsYeah, seems kinda true. at least u got some self-insight, now u can try to do something about it
Yeah and no one cares. Youve said this 10000 times already. Or do we need to call Bertrand back to tell everyone for the 10001th time that you dont like adam? God get a fucking grip.
wtf does this have to do with anything?
are you calling @Adam Strange gross????
You don't even know if it was because of you being a woman. Youre just assuming that, because youre insecure about your gender.
Relax, stop trying so hard to be edgy, it makes you boring. One trick pony.
Her text could be interpreted in such way, while the context above I did not checked. So there is also a problem of correct description. Thanks for the clearing this "Santa Barbara". Autumn is the romantic season to break and make relations.
Anyway, as the situation I've described is common, so anyone have gotten my valuable opinion.
And Lungs may try my recommendations in case she'll want to follow Adam's efforts.
Lungs may to be also LSI.
Men stay attractive for young (< 30) women up to ~50. You just need a little of physical training, money and natural charm.
While most women loose their attractiveness quickly after 30 years, as it becomes harder for them to born healthy children and hence the nature lesser bothers to support their appearance. The main solution for them is to get hormone meds, but they rise risks of a cancer.
This has been my experience, too. I've found that women in their thirties are still attracted to guys up until those guys are 50, but after that, the guys are basically dead. Being dead is preceded for a couple of years by becoming invisible. (This has already happened to me with respect to women in their twenties and is beginning to happen with women in their early and mid thirties.) Fortunately, women in their 40's and fifties still find these guys attractive, although at this point, the women themselves are typically struggling with personal choice issues. Their doors to opportunities are closing fast, and this can result in some strange effects in them, and almost always includes a significant drop in their happiness.Men stay attractive for young (< 30) women up to ~50. You just need a little of physical training, money and natural charm.
While most women loose their attractiveness quickly after 30 years, as it becomes harder for them to born healthy children and hence the nature lesser bothers to support their appearance. The main solution for them is to get hormone meds, but they rise risks of a cancer.
My advice, from seeing a few women, is not to have hormone treatments. Some women don't respond well to these. Instead, get enough sleep, reduce your stress, exercise regularly and watch your weight, don't smoke unless you like the leather look, and stop drinking after one glass of red wine. You can hide the effects of heavy drinking when young. Not so much when you get older.
I've been looking at pictures of women on Match.com recently, and I've been impressed by how easy it is to see a person's life in their face. So, make the best of your life.
It has everything to do with men treating women like they are sexual objects only. "Show your tits" is included there and yes, that's gross.
But I don't expect you to understand this, so I will let you continue to tell me how to deal with stuff you yourself never experience.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
You really are so utterly tone deaf, Adam. I don't say this to attack you, it's just baffling....
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
Gammas are full of dramatic bitches
It is not like Adam was on the street and shouting at some random chick "Show me your tits!".
In that case, sure, that would be obnoxious and depending on how serious it got, horrible.
He was making a joke, in the context of showing a guy you are already interested in your boobs as a sure-fire way to show your interest in him.
It was an exaggeration. Jokes are exaggerations.
Context matters a lot...
When you extrapolate one remark in a certain context unto a bunch of other contexts that are not even present in the conversation or situation, that is technically your own personal issue.
He has a point. I don't even say hello to a man unless he looks like this:
Context matters and the "joke" was not perceived as funny by the woman at whom it was directed and other women who were there.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
Well I hope you at least make sure you don't smoke and drink and party and get enough sleep so you deserve a man like that. I would hate for you to be single at 40 because you neglected your womanly duty to be sexually attractive.He has a point. I don't even say hello to a man unless he looks like this:
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
I was there too, and while I noticed the joke was risqué, I did not think it was a direct "assault" of any kind, so... What is the problem again? Not liking a joke?
But sure, everyone has different kinds of humour.
Where did adam imply that he thought delilah was a sexual object only? He never implied it.
You'll never get along with men if you're always projecting your own insecurities onto them.
Yeah ive never experienced getting hit on. Because guys never get hit on, right?
You are just being willfully thick.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
I never claimed it was an assault, but it's just part of a greater issue.
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one's courage.”
― Anais Nin
Well I hope you at least make sure you don't smoke and drink and party and get enough sleep so you deserve a man like that. I would hate for you to be single at 40 because you neglected your womanly duty to be sexually attractive.
Speaking of tone deaf,
Did it occur to you that you might want to do this for yourself? So you can get out of a chair when you're seventy?
Half the people over 40 are single, so they'd better be pleasing themselves. No one else is around.*
*I know this from bitter experience. Bitter for an sx/so.
Last edited by Adam Strange; 09-25-2017 at 02:46 PM.
The problem is, everyone sees things the way they expect to see them, regardless of how they actually are, or were meant.#savage
If your world is a place where liberals are running wild over traditional values, then everything you see will exist in that threatening context, and you'll have to defend every statement, every ending. If it is a world where the sun is shining and life is good, then you might not see the evil that exists.
This forum should be promoting better understanding of that through better communications.
Did it ever occur to you that the normal range for hemoglobin is 13.5 to 17.5 grams per deciliter in men? Goalposts? What the fuck are goalposts? Maybe you'll think about this next time you get a blood test.
Lol this is what the issue is about? It's an obvious joke, not a personal attack or anything close to it. Sorry, but this sensitivity is getting absurd.
It also seems that if someone else would say such a joke (Hitta, Bain,...), many people wouldn't be offended because they like said person. That's the weird hipocrisy with Fi egos...sometimes it's a cool joke, other times you get a moral outrage. Very confusing and loaded personalized ethical rules of interaction.
I initially thought Adam asked Delilah to show him her tits, but then it turned out to be a joke Adam made about Delilah showing her tits to some guy she liked after I checked out the shoutbox archive.
Anyways, here is a link showing what transpired and people can draw their own conclusions based on this to get the correct perspective to avoid confusion. The comment was made at 1:02 pm:
http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...0&orderby=DESC
Last edited by Raver; 09-25-2017 at 11:38 PM.
“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” Randy Pausch
Ne-IEE
6w7 sp/sx
6w7-9w1-4w5
You mean political psyops?
Yup, there were guys (and girls -Amber anyone) saying seriously hardcore and hostile shit and Fi folks didn't say a word. Many folks are also super offended on the internet, but then date total douches irl, because they secretly are turned on by sketchy dudes. It's all cool, but double standards are annoying.
I'm all for freedom of speech and find Adam's joke extremely lightweight, just a generic joke that everybody uses. Even if he said "show me your tits" in another context, it would be whatever - it's not like we're at a bussiness meeting here.
Trump's America.
I was thinking the same thing of Adam actually: his comment was so completely out of left field like he's trying a bit too hard.
Anyway, i don't want people to address me in such terms as to tell me to show tits in places. IRL people don't do that so i'd rather they didn't here either.
Saying "show me your tits" to a woman is an asinine thing to say.
what the fuck is this sjw bullshit. why are you spitting in my face and saying "communism is god?" please stop.
Joke or no joke, it's immature, like high school locker room badger.
Yes, equality is so 20th century. Inequality is the new retro.
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