Member Questionnaire (Melania)

[Melania]

Member Questionnaire 1 (Melania)

What is beauty? What is love?

Harmony, according to the personal standards of the "beholder".
Love begins with respect - it cannot exist without that. It continues with affection. It doesn't stop there. It changes, it grows, it matures, like a living being. It needs nourishment and protection. When properly protected and nourished, it can last forever, through any hardship. When not, it can be as easily hurt as a premature infant.

What are your most important values?

When everything crumbles around you and you are about to lose mostly everything, you still haven't lost all you could have lost if you can still retain the knowledge that you have done the morally right thing.

Do you have any sort of spiritual/religious beliefs, and why do you hold (or don't) those beliefs in the first place?

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Opinion on war and militaries? What is power to you?

War - equals crime against humanity - and against the humanity of every person that ends up doing anything morally wrong in the middle of the war.
Power = sword with two blades: either greed of control, produced and maintained by pride, or the ability to protect loved ones, while actively and honestly trying to not cause the slightest unnecessary harm to anyone else in the process. The last one requires love of people, which in turn requires conquering one's own pride.

What have you had long conversations about? What are your interests? Why?

How people are in reality versus what they think they are and how they show themselves to be.

Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?

Not really interested in that topic.

What do you think of daily chores?

Necessary evil.

Books or films you liked? Recently read/watched or otherwise. Examples welcome.

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What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?

People's immature, petty and aggressive attempts to cause harm for no more than their own self gratification.

Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?

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What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?

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What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?

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In what areas of your life would you like help?

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Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.

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What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?

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How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?

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If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?

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A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?

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Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.

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How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?

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How do you behave around strangers?

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[Number 9 large]

Harmony, according to the personal standards of the "beholder".

Fi?

Love begins with respect - it cannot exist without that.

Seems like something my ESE mother would say

It changes, it grows, it matures, like a living being.

Seems like Ni

It needs nourishment and protection. When properly protected and nourished, it can last forever, through any hardship. When not, it can be as easily hurt as a premature infant.

Seems like Si/Fe

When everything crumbles around you and you are about to lose mostly everything, you still haven't lost all you could have lost if you can still retain the knowledge that you have done the morally right thing.

Morality - Fi

War - equals crime against humanity - and against the humanity of every person that ends up doing anything morally wrong in the middle of the war.

Seems like Fi to me also.

Power = sword with two blades: either greed of control, produced and maintained by pride, or the ability to protect loved ones, while actively and honestly trying to not cause the slightest unnecessary harm to anyone else in the process.

Seems Fe

The last one requires love of people, which in turn requires conquering one's own pride.

Fi

How people are in reality versus what they think they are and how they show themselves to be.

Seems like Fi talk

Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?

Not really interested in that topic.

Lack of sensing, then?

What has made you cry? What has made you smile? Why?

People's immature, petty and aggressive attempts to cause harm for no more than their own self gratification.

Feeling

All in all this isn't enough info to answer your question. I can't type you of this. Try answering more questions.

Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?

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What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?

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What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?

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In what areas of your life would you like help?

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Ever feel stuck in a rut? If yes, describe the causes and your reaction to it.

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What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?

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How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?

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If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?

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A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?

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Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.

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How do you choose your friends and how do you behave around them?

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How do you behave around strangers?

[User Name]

The only thing I can tell, based on the few lines of your questionnaire, is that you are an Ethical type. You seem to value a little more than but, of course, this is only an impression, as what you wrote isn't enough to get an accurate typing. As Number 9 large suggested, please answer more questions.

[Olimpia]

The only thing I can tell, based on the few lines of your questionnaire, is that you are an Ethical type. You seem to value a little more than

Agree. I got the same impression.

Interested in health/medicine as a conversation topic? Are you focused on your body?
"Not really interested in that topic."

And this sounds more like unvalued .

[Number 9 large]

The only thing I can tell, based on the few lines of your questionnaire, is that you are an Ethical type. You seem to value a little more than [...]

Agreed. If I'd had to type her just of of this info id say INFj, but we can only be sure of the ethical

[Aylen]

Agreed. If I'd had to type her just of of this info id say INFj, but we can only be sure of the ethical

My first impression, based on very limited information, was also EII. I thought of Maritsa for a moment. Not that the op is like her at all but some of the things stated reminded me of things Mari has said in various thread.

*This is not a typing, just an observation.

[Melania]

Where do you feel: at one with the environment/a sense of belonging?

In my own musings, while at length processing previous events, especially happy when things just click and all pieces of a puzzle just effortlessly fall into place.

What have people seen as your weaknesses? What do you dislike about yourself?

-During childhood, I used to be taunted for being too sensitive, for having too thin of a skin: rude, crude, crass remarks would make me cry all too easily. My discomfort and repulsion to such impolite, bad mannered “jokes” could not be masked or overcome, no matter what. I was also taunted for not being “cool” enough to enjoy and play along with such kind of “jokes”. The benign version of such attitude was to condescendingly tell me that I was born in the wrong century – that I should have been born at least a hundred years before and should have lived in an ivory tower, under a glass bell. Ironically enough, when that was not the complaint against me, I was seen as some oddity for not demonstrating an active visible emotional enthusiasm in response to occurring events, an enthusiasm that could be objectively quantified by an outsider – it seemed as though I lacked the “normal” amount of feelings, required by the generally accepted convention, in a “normal” child or person. I, for myself, would just stand there, quietly taking in the information provided by the occurring event and processing it in my own rhythm, according to my own personal opinions and to my own standards or manner of understanding. Taking in the information and processing it in order to make sense of the events was more important than exerting myself to display enough enthusiasm or disapproval so that an onlooker might have a clear idea of my opinions on the subject at hand. The conclusion of such an onlooker was that I lacked both opinions and feelings and so my voice was not even worth to be heard. To me, it felt like being attacked successively with a flamethrower and with buckets of ice. I was either a cold stone with no feelings or I was too sensitive for this time and world.

About myself I dislike that I put up for too long with too much. I hate to push anything on anyone; I hate to feel the need to remind anyone of the most basic laws of common sense and common courtesy or to impose my opinion or my will on them – all these I consider very disrespectful towards the dignity of the human being in question. So I expect and keep waiting for that person to make the morally right decision on their own eventually, because they freely chose to do so, not because they were guilt-tripped into that or otherwise forced to do so; and I also accept the fact that they might like and want different things than I do. Waiting too quietly for too long sends the wrong message and I dislike about myself that I am not more swift and decisive in raising higher and thicker barriers against those that have no interest in respecting my own limits.

What have people seen as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?

-The things that I like about myself are considered annoying by many around me. I’m never interested in how something looks on the surface, at first glance. I’m interested in what really lies underneath – in what a person or an event really is inside, after you peel off the top layer. Tome it is like trying to buy a house and liking very much its aspect of solid stone and brick; but is it really genuine stone and brick and 2 feet wide walls or is it just a thin, artificial, ‘trompe l’oeil’ wall treatment covering some plywood structure? one that will crumble at the first stronger breeze? I NEED to be safe inside that house, not just stand in front of it in the street and receiving praise on what a beautiful house it is. If my conclusions are based on the wrong facts, they are wrong too, and so the decisions I will take based on my conclusions will be faulty. So I poke at the walls and ask questions and study it from all angles to figure out what it’s really made of. Too many people are more interested in taking pictures of the house than in discarding it if it’s not the real thing, so they either don’t see the point in poking at the walls or feel offended that I might want to see more than they have deemed sufficient.

In what areas of your life would you like help?

In the area of buying my own place (not really, as I'd lose a lot of independence of decision) Other than that, in the area of not being so lost in my musings as to have to return even up to 3 times to see if I turned off the cooker or the water or to finally take even 3 or 4 items - not really every day - that I had forgotten when I left first. In the area of not misplacing the salt in the fridge and the mustard in the oven... Or in the area of furniture corners - up to 5 bruises on my legs, in various stages, are not quite becoming with a skirt; ... more than that might raise eyebrows... In the area of too pushy and aggressive people or with those that have no respect for personal space... I really wouldn't mind any number of bruises on my anatomy or having to scrape off the mustard from the oven walls as long as the pushy aggressive people problem was eliminated.

What qualities do you most like and dislike in other people? What types do you get along with?

-What I most like is when someone has the maturity to see themselves as they are, not fancy themselves as they'd like to be. When one has the strength to accept themselves as they are, with their good and with the not entirely good parts as well, and have the good will to do the best of what they actually are instead of trying to pose as better than they are or as perfect. Posing to themselves, when they are all alone is much more dangerous, IMO, than posing before others: in the latter case there is still some hope that they maybe retain some honesty at least when they are alone with just themselves.

What I don't like is people who just can't find a way to accept and respect themselves as imperfect as they normally are. These are the people that will most disrespect anyone else around them. Again, I dislike aggressive pushy people, I dislike the hillbilly attitude; I dislike indecisiveness on one hand and not being willing to listen to and accept a decision contrary to their request, on the other hand. I'm not sure these dislikes are necessarily type related though, just healthy relationship related.

I get along with those that are not distant, while at the same time willing and able to respect my boundaries and decisions, those that don't feel offended or threatened or even angered by these. I get along with those that are not uncomfortable with me poking at the walls of the building before me.

How do you feel about romance/sex? What qualities do you want in a partner?

-I dislike and distrust gushy or showy romantic approaches. Romantic feelingsneed time to develop and mature - people need to overcome their own issues (orfind the healthiest possible way of living with them) so that they may build asolid healthy relationship.

Qualities in a partner: first of all, a healthy self respect; enoughhonesty to see himself as he is and enough maturity to accept himself as such,coupled with enough good will and strength and wisdom to make the best of whathe has.

On another note, I like a solid stone house with 2 feet wide walls, as well asa men on which I can depend: on his morality, on his commitment, on hisaffection, on his presence, on his support. While not being a "stick inthe mud" or an aggressive puritan, fancying him self a mini-king or thecult leader of his inner circle.

But again, as I read what I just wrote, I'm not sure this is so specifically type related as it is healthy normality related. Balance in everything is essential.

If you were to raise a child, what would be your main concerns, what measures would you take, and why?

-First, before everything else, teach him the concepts of humanity - in simple terms, to respect any person around him (as well as any form of life in general) for no more reason than the fact that they exist (certainly not for reasons such as due affection or competence or family connections....) . The child will become familiar with empathy and compassion. From this the rest will be built up in time.

The development of his intellect will come naturally, effortlessly, in time, starting even before the first steps, as the child will start learning more and more about the world around him. Education will further refine it.

One can work on his general culture or on his academic education or on his social manners at pretty much any moment latter in life, but if they lack a solid foundation in terms of humanity values, any social good manners are nothing more than a "trompe l'oeil" varnish on top of a plywood structure. The academic or general culture will also be just part of that varnish.

A friend makes a claim that clashes with your current beliefs. What is your inward and outward reaction?

I definitely accept they have a different point of view from mine; I try to understand it better, as far as they are willing to offer more information,without misunderstanding my attempts; if it goes so drastically against my own convictions then I say (quite uncomfortably and probably sugarcoat it too much) that it does clash with my own opinions and limit further discussions on the subject, to the best of my abilities. A friend that respects my limits is very appreciated in this case; or one that can hold a conversation on the subject without becoming emotionally enraged or aggressive or offended by my different opinion. "If you're not with us, you're against us" seems to me too much cult-like mentality.

Describe your relationship to society. How do you see people as a whole? What do you consider a prevalent social problem? Name one.

- prevalent social problem - I could think of more than one. Among them, aggressivity and aggressive promotion or self-promotion seems to equal competence and confidence.

How do you choose your friends

- usually they chose me, provided they pause enough from talking as to listen to my answers, and that provided I can give answers that please them. With some people I just raise my eyebrows and then give the blankest answer I can find on the spot.

and how do you behave around them?

- I've noticed I mostly mirror their attitude -if they are open and willing to communicate, so am I; if not, then silence it is; of course if one produces too much or too heavy of a silence, I usually don't even bother to check more than once or twice for the moment when we can resume dialog, while they keep their silence; if they do try, eventually..., to resume dialog, I can be quite blank and very passive in my answers, for a while, even at the risk of letting everything just fade away. It's not a matter of passive aggressive revenge; it's just a matter of accepting their decision and their limits and making sure I stay as far away from that as possible.

How do you behave around strangers?

Quietly and observantly.

Books or films you liked?Recently read/watched or otherwise

Historical movies, although I look away when there is violence or executions. I like witty comedies that don't imply someone being the butt of the joke. I like movies that actually create and reveal a credible character - not "the greatest", not a hero, just a believably real person, with their own inner world - characters that make sense, that don't seem artificial. Hallmark movies, while usually benign when it comes to violence, seem a little too demanding in a gushy way when it comes to the emotional atmosphere they usually evoke.

[Chae]

Hi there <3 Will look into it later! Did you also see our more current questionnaire?

[Melania]

Hi there too. Looking forward to your opinions.

No, I haven't seen it yet. I'll be sure to check it. To be honest, when I started completing this questionnaire, I didn't realize I was creating a new thread - I thought I was going to answer some quiz and it required me to create an account before it would grant me access. The first questions I thought were part of a profile: I think I read something like "questions with a * are mandatory". Don't remember exactly on what page I read it though. When I realized I had created a thread, I found the feed-back very interesting and educating. Also I answered some more questions because I, for one, like to play with riddles when I find a more complex one (as in longer than 3 verses). Besides, answering the questions was also unexpectedly revealing to myself as well.

[Melania]

I've checked the new Q... it has a lot of questions...A LOT... a little too many for my current willingness to really open up more ... a lot of them seem too personal ... for me at least, for now...