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Thread: Experiences dating an ESE/ESFj?

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    Default Experiences dating an ESE/ESFj?

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    Last edited by Iwantpeace; 09-04-2020 at 10:23 AM.




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    What's the purpose of SEI? Tallmo's Avatar
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    Yes I have dated an ESE. 2 years. But I don't know what more I can say than the usual stuff that they need LIIs They have mood swings and emotions and need stability.
    The decisive thing is not the reality of the object, but the reality of the subjective factor, i.e. the primordial images, which in their totality represent a psychic mirror-world. It is a mirror, however, with the peculiar capacity of representing the present contents of consciousness not in their known and customary form but in a certain sense sub specie aeternitatis, somewhat as a million-year old consciousness might see them.

    (Jung on Si)

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    Haikus niffer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sorrows View Post
    It is also needed to not give him any grounds for jealousy, to be tolerant, to behave correctly, calmly and evenly.
    This part seems very true.

    I dated one for 5 months when I was like 12 lol.

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    Rebelondeck's Avatar
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    I find it hard to sort type from the baggage that one carries. I've known many ESEs that seemed so different because of learned behaviours (idiosyncrasies) that were adopted for self-preservation/survival.

    ESEs seem to like being early for activities or meetings. Many make lists and have reminders even though they rarely forget. ESEs usually tell you exactly how they feel about everything and everyone (in infinite detail, which I could sometimes do without); there usually isn't any need for guesswork about what they're thinking (unlike ESI).

    Some ESE seem to focus a lot on personal health but can develop odd perspectives on it. Examples: Some may only eat fresh organic foods although they have no problem feeding non-organic or non-fresh to everyone else. Some can shun conventional medicine for naturopathy and load up on untested supplements simply because the word "natural" is written on the bottle. They can eat the most awful tasting stuff so long as they believe that it's good for them. Some fixate on certain health gurus and believe everything they say even though most of their substantiation is anecdotal.

    Most are very practical, interactive and aware......

    a.k.a. I/O

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    Quote Originally Posted by sorrows View Post
    I have heard in the initial stages of the relationship they can be very difficult but then later become very loyal.
    I am curious, where did you hear this? Was it a Socionics resource or is it anecdotal?

    Regardless, I tend to see this as the ESE "testing" the potential partner for loyalty and emotional stability. ESEs can be quite cranky in general however.

    '''ESE-Fe''': Strives for stable relations, is mistrustful and wary.
    In the specimens I have observed, there seems to be insecurity with respect to attachment and closer relations because closer relations have the potential to lead to less relational stability. If people are kept at a friendly distance, then this becomes a non-issue.

    It is necessary to pay attention to the problems of such partner, otherwise there is a risk of disappointing him/her.
    Yes. ESEs tend to talk for significant amounts of time about the details concerning how their day went, positive and negative. However, in my experience, it is not necessary or advisable to respond in a verbose manner. Simple acknowledgment, succinct confirmation of what was heard, occasional guidance/wisdom/reason, and non-judgmental behavior are advisable. They may complain a lot, but in most cases it is unnecessary to (figuratively) hold an ESE's hand, especially if mature.

    It is also needed to not give him/her any grounds for jealousy, to be tolerant, to behave correctly, calmly and evenly. This will help to keep stable and trusting relations, of which he/she is truly in need."
    I frankly do not understand why this would not be needed for any successful human relationship, regardless of Sociotype. It just seems like basic human decency to me, if such a thing exists.

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