Socionics Questionaire by hotelambush

[justalitnerdxx]

Hey again. I'm doing this questionaire as a get to know myself excercise. My self type currently is 6wW INFx (could be EII or IEI...or maybe even SEI I think has been suggested before in another group). I'm torn personally on if I'm Si or Se valuing and Fe or Fi valuing, and trying to muddle through that internal debate, so any ideas and examples of where I show valuing/devaluing in this thread would be great thank you.

Ill post out the answer in stages

The Extended Questionnaire v0.2


Tell me about yourself.


What do you study or do for a living? How did you come to do that? What do you like or dislike about it?


I am a receptionist for a community hospital's Endoscopy department. I used to work in retail, since I left school at 18, and decided to switch to administrative work. The hospital is about an hour commute for me, which I don't mind, I quite like the journey time to 'think' and play music. I dislike though people making comments about how 'odd' it is that I take a train to work, and that I should work closer to home. It's their input in a patronising tone, as if I am an idiot for coming into work. There's no real full time work in my small home town you see. I commute to where the job market is.


I also dislike...two faced-ness which happens a lot in office politics. It makes me feel uneasy, and as if my input to the team is always under scrutiny, any mistakes magnified and used as weapons. I do however enjoy helping the patients come in; Im good at naturally calming them down and desire to be of use however small, even if All I am is a polite well wishing face on the desk.


Ideally I'd like to get into counselling work, or even become some sort of patient liaisons officer who's aim is to guide others and make sure people get the care and treatment they need.





What are your values, and why?


I value harmony, people coming together despite differences, since I aim for a safe, positive and empowering existence in life. I also value empathy/understanding others' points of view and emotions, and really do care (perhaps a bit too much!) about the happiness and sorrows of others. I like learning about people and considering new alternatives to reality and the unknown. Kindness also is what I enjoy seeing in life and I always try to display it myself. I believe that Courage is resilience, hope for a better future, and I believe courage is in all of us to some degree. Even getting out of bed on a day where you're empty with no energy or soul is an act of courage.





What else do you do on a daily basis? What are your interests and hobbies? Why do you do them?


I tend to play a lot of music. My tastes are eclectic; from Kate Bush to Ariana Grande, to Fleetwood Mac to Sia, Florence Welsh, Broadway musicals. I listen to it on my commute and tend to either play puzzle games, such as Gem Quest, I find it addictive. I sometimes write in my journal, or I go on Tumblr/Pinterest. I enjoy looking at Manga artwork and watching Anime series. As an art form, I like how they merge the fun coloured hair characters and batty storylines with a lot of inner sentiments about loyalty, hope, rising up against the odds to find oneself.





Describe your relations with family and friends. What do you like and dislike about them?


With my family, we are overall quite close knit. My parents, and brothers...but sometimes I do find that my parents can lack patience and understanding. They're quick to change moods and never seem to dwell on any upsets such as arguments, or mishaps in their work. So sometimes they become flustered and frustrated that I can't 'shake out' of my negative states and act as if nothing has happened. I do burden myself with ruminating about negative situations or my own bad moods. I can find them a bit too much sometimes and want them to quit nagging.

I suppose we all feel that way about family! My younger brother has autism though we are very close and do have a playful sort of relationship. I am very protective of him, and he can be affectionate with letting me rub his head and hug him. My elder brother I rarely see much these days since he is either at work or at his girlfriends. He has aspergers and I am protective of him very much too and do worry for him being manipulated by his girlfriend and friends. We do laugh a lot together too.


I do often worry a lot that I have to be the one after my parents are gone who will take care of them all by myself. I can feel lonely. I don't have many close friends. One girl from high school who I do get on with but she can be dismissive of my emotionality. Another one who is a family friend, very extroverted but quite highly strung, tends to only spend time with me when her other friends aren't free.

[justalitnerdxx]

What do you look for in friends? In romantic relationships?


In friends I seek people who show an interest in my life and my inner world. Who share their own experiences and thoughts openly. Who show an interest in improving and challenging theirselves to get more out of life. People who can give me practical support, can provide words and deeds of encouragement and also.





What conflicts have you encountered recently with other people? Why did they happen? Which kinds seem to happen on a regular basis?


I've had a few conflicts with work colleagues of a higher pay grade (more senior) or of the clinical staff. Mostly over them expressing dissatisfaction and lack of understanding towards my work efforts, and myself reacting with offensive, fear and shame. I never have raised my voice back but tend to passively go to the toilets and cry (sorry I know that's lame!) or brood over the misunderstanding, feel as if I am a band person, and look into what other job options are available to me.





How would your friends describe you?


Skittish, overactive imagination, caring, thoughtful, overly polite, conscientious, kind, sweet, good humoured.





What do people generally see as your strengths? What do you like about yourself?


I'm not too sure what people see as my strengths but I like to think I am strong in that I am patient, empathetic, diplomatic communicator, a keen learner who picks stuff up quickly, and my stories are pretty amusing, actually I do have a wry sense of humour despite first appearances and I do hope others see this too!





What are your weaknesses? What criticism do you often face from others? What do you dislike about yourself?


I face criticism for taking negative situations and attitudes of others too personally. I have a thin skin and low confidence. I rarely stand up for myself as I fear loosing my cool and causing a scene which hurts others. I have done so in the past overbubbled and lashed out, which fills me with deep embarrassment and guilt.


I have suspected inattentive adhd which can mean I misplace items, and have been known to lose bank cards and train tickets. Also my ADD makes me a little hard to focus on a train of thought so I can seem 'dazed' and slow in situations with others while I try and process the rapid incoming information. I worry people think I'm lazy, don't care, or am too stupid to function or be trusted.


I have general anxiety too and can often feel overwhelmed mentally, and breakdown, and sensory stimuli can be too triggering some days for me to cope with, so I end up staying in a dark room to try and recenter and self soothe.

[justalitnerdxx]

In what areas of life can you manage well on your own? In what areas of your life would you like help?


I am quite adept by myself in knowing where my headspace is at, the outcomes of this current mindset and the causes of how it came to be about. Basically I'm good at self psychoanalysis as well as instinctively being able to decipher other peoples' emotional states, their motivations, character, and potentiality. And I'm also good at knowing what is needed to move forwards; actually when I was in counselling I'd often come up with a problem and reason out the best course of action for self wellness, often surprising my counsellor with the answers before she had gotten around to that train of thought!


Also, I have been told by my manager that I am a keen learner and just seem to grasp new tasks very quickly as well as being able to understand the overall procedure of what I'm doing and why the task leads to the outcome.


I am, as I've said before, quite forgetful with everyday objects and routine chores such as getting phone top ups, remembering to call another department about patient information sharing. So having daily reminders flash up on my phone and computer of what obligations I need to fulfil has helped me a great deal in practical day to day life! I also do need help in getting out of my comfort zone and pushing myself forwards towards people and opportunities that will overall benefit my wellbeing, activate my sense of enthusiasm and passion, and fulfil my goals of connecting with others and forming lasting relationships. Basically, I need encouragement towards being a go-getter and assertive.


I can also be a little unsure when it comes to physical self care i.e. Health, beauty regimes. I consult with articles a lot about how to achieve desired outcomes, for example, which skincare brand and ingredients are best for making skin glowing and blemish free.

[justalitnerdxx]

What things do you find to be a chore? What things do you enjoy more than others?


Admin work! Ha basically my job, having to make sure paperwork is filed properly, right letters are sent out to the right patients with the right date/time information for appointments. Making food. I'm not good at it and it takes a lot of co-ordination and time making sure the ingredients are correct and the cooking temperature is right. Cleaning. Mentally boring, can be physically tiresome. Having to meet with distant family members who I have civil relationships with yet don't know them well or them me, so it's awkward small talk and having to sit around their house looking interested when really I'm cringing inside at how stiff and awkward I feel, really wishing I could lie down in one of their quiet rooms and nap until the meeting is over. But that'd be rude! Though I do acknowledge that the chores are essential parts of life and I do try and stay on top of them (or delegate when i can). I tend to mentally zone out and go off in a daydream, so I remain in a good mood and not as disheartened.


I enjoy playing music and letting the songs dictate the narratives in my head; like I'll imagine a personal storyline set to the song, and imagine the mood of the encounter, the words, the actions...fantasy imagery i also try to conjure up too. It makes music and lyrics more amusing and personable.


Oh and I like doing Wikipedia searches on things that strike my curiosity, such as looking into various spiritual and folklore teachings and trying to find the common threads of them and what I believe in. And since I work in Endoscopy, I'm inclined to do research into the different procedures that are done on the department, why they're done and what the purpose is for the patient to have the test in the first place. I sometimes ask some of the more senior nurses about their job and what the purpose of the different care plans are. One of them gets so chuffed that I take an interest in the 'gross' nitty gritty stuff, whereas the other admins tend to stick just to their office duties rather than seek the greater context of their job role.





What goals, aspirations, or plans do you have for the future? How did you come to have them?


This is a hard one. I want to fulfil my potential, be the best me I can be. Progress in my career to having more pay, more responsibility when it comes to helping people, both patients and colleagues. To become less anxious about daily life, find my 'mojo', find self sufficiency. Make and foster lasting positive relationships with family, friends, and I like to believe I have a soulmate out there.


I guess my goals are inspired by the countless romance and fairytale stories I've read as a child, haha. And I guess through my own mental health struggles,
I just want to find inner contentment and the simple yet meaningful pleasures of life.





If you had enough money to live comfortably for the rest of your life without working, what would you do with your time?


Explore the world. Engage in the Arts more aka theatre, dance, writing. Spend time with my family and other close ones. Have a 'bunny farm' where i adopt rabbits and guinea pigs who are in shelters, and give them a happy life (plus they're cute and I want to get all the cuddles possible! Ok for this one I am sort of joking but not really...) oh and if I had children, I'd spend my time being a full time mum and artist on the side.

[justalitnerdxx]

What traits do you find endearing that others might dislike? What traits are considered positive/neutral by others but tend to annoy you?



I am quite charmed by people who are confident in their opinions and have a lot of insight about daily life, belief in their own self worth; those who come across to some as arrogant know it alls but I find their assuredness and experience soothing and invigorating too.


I do get annoyed at people who are a bit too face; when they moan and slander others but to the individuals face are having a laugh and sharing personal information about their family life. I find them insincere, and untrustworthy. Though as it's been pointed out to me, a lot of people, especially women in the workplace, are this way and it's the normal. It just irks me :/





What kinds of things do you do to manage and/or beautify your environment (your room, your house, etc.)? What do you think of daily chores?


I love trinkets! Anything antique and romantic looking, like embossed hand mirrors that resemble the French 17th century Aristocracy and glittery sea shell jewlerry holders. And fandom related items are also my way of personalising my space and making it self expressive, inspiring and novel. I have a Belle from Beauty and the Beast Funko Pop on my car dashboard and Luna the car from Sailor Moon in the back window.


Daily chores, as I have said before, are a bit boring for me but I know that they are necessary. I tend to daydream while doing them, play music or watch tv while doing housework, since it's a way of making it more fun and hopefully (in theory anyways) makes the chores go quicker.






How do you behave around strangers?


I shy away from them but observe their disposition and how they are with others. I make decisions on if I want to connect with them eventually or if I'd rather stay aloof and not have anything to do with them. After a period of lingering back I may draw a little closer, and if they engage with me, I will engage back and hope that we become friends of sorts.

[justalitnerdxx]

How do you react to conflict? What do you do if somebody insults or attacks you?



Cry? Thing is that is my natural reaction. Very embarrassing. I panic when a conflict sounds off, whether it involves me directly or not. I just feel on edge, unsafe, even though I am realising now that it's an everyday occurrence and doesn't have to mean a permanently spoiled relationship, or a ruined environment. Actually sometimes it can clear the air, in hindsight.

I tend to get out of the way and try to calm down, recenter by curling up in a quiet space, deep breathing, crying until I feel I've vented enough and can compose myself enough to re-enter 'the zone'. If I don't do this, I end up getting really flustered and upset, shouting back at the person, claiming unfairness and accusing them of wishing me harm. I can say a few exaggerated negative accusations. I'm not proud of this.

In the past I have lashed out at my family when I've been really anxious and low mood, threatening to run away if they don't stop yelling and arguing. I've since found out I have inattentive ADHD and sensory processing issues so it does help explain why I sometimes lash out so erratically, and more importantly, it's a diagnosis that lets me understand myself more and know what I need to do to calm down and be able to see conflict for what it is; a disagreement on thoughts or emotional views, doesn't have to be damaging if handled with assertion and calmness. I'm trying to refine my conflict resolution skills.





What is one common misconception that people have? Explain why it is wrong.


I think people can sometimes misjudge my sentiments towards events. When I'm happy or excited about a future event I simply say 'yeah it's awesome, I can't wait' give a small smile then going back to what I'm doing, people can assume I am disinterested, being sarcastic, or very unwilling towards the thing but too polite to say my real feelings. Recent example is I'm going to Disneyland for Halloween with a work colleague. She's very bubbly and skipping around the department literally and keeps chanting 'we're getting Disney ears! Aaagh it's going to be amazing! I need to craft the ears! There's so many rides to go on, I'll tell you the best ones we MUST get to!' Whereas I am more subdued and yeah, just as eager as she is, but I guess I come across as more aloof. Which I worry about upsetting her incase she assumes I really don't want to go now.





What did you do last Friday?


I actually have started attending a Bollywood Dance class near my place of work, and that takes place on a Friday evening. So I stay in the city centre for about an hour once I've finished work and do a bit of window shopping and grab some tea when I'm out. I change the place I eat at each week. Last week it was at a Starbucks type coffee shop. Anyways I attended the class, sweated buckets but enjoyed learning the new steps and refining the old; I am constantly watching others and myself in the dance room mirrors and try to work out how to get my moves to be even better and concisely fluid. I found out after class that we have a dance show taking place in about a month. My initial reaction was 'yes! I'd like to try that!' But now I'm not sure if I'll be good enough or if I am actually free. Then I commuted home and sat around in my PJS watching a UK based chat-show called Graham Norton. In bed by midnight like Cinderella, hehe.

Fin. Ok I'm going to stop posting now. I feel that I've overshared too many walls of text, which I apologise for. I will do more of the questions from the OP if requested. Until then, adios!

[Orthotomus]

I see no one else's replying, so maybe I'll start the discussion.

To me there's little doubt you're EII. Then again, I'm not very experienced in socionics, so I'm not sure I'm looking at it the right way.

I'm basing my opinion more on the general impression rather than point-by-point analysis, but I think these are good examples of valuing Fi over Fe:

I face criticism for taking negative situations and attitudes of others too personally. I have a thin skin and low confidence. I rarely stand up for myself as I fear loosing my cool and causing a scene which hurts others. I have done so in the past overbubbled and lashed out, which fills me with deep embarrassment and guilt.
[...]

How do you behave around strangers?


I shy away from them but observe their disposition and how they are with others. I make decisions on if I want to connect with them eventually or if I'd rather stay aloof and not have anything to do with them. After a period of lingering back I may draw a little closer, and if they engage with me, I will engage back and hope that we become friends of sorts.
[...]

I think people can sometimes misjudge my sentiments towards events. When I'm happy or excited about a future event I simply say 'yeah it's awesome, I can't wait' give a small smile then going back to what I'm doing, people can assume I am disinterested, being sarcastic, or very unwilling towards the thing but too polite to say my real feelings. Recent example is I'm going to Disneyland for Halloween with a work colleague. She's very bubbly and skipping around the department literally and keeps chanting 'we're getting Disney ears! Aaagh it's going to be amazing! I need to craft the ears! There's so many rides to go on, I'll tell you the best ones we MUST get to!' Whereas I am more subdued and yeah, just as eager as she is, but I guess I come across as more aloof. Which I worry about upsetting her incase she assumes I really don't want to go now.

You pay more attention to internal than to external feelings (feeling "within" rather than expressing emotions). You'd rather not express your own feelings than hurt someone's inner feelings. You prefer mild rather than intense forms of expressing feelings. That's more or less how it works, the way I understand it (of course putting it in simple terms - socionics operates with generalisations that should not be overinterpreted).

There's more to on which I'm basing my judgement, but I guess this part is the easiest to explain.

[justalitnerdxx]

Thank you so much for reading this and replying.

Of the types i do think EII is my best fit, though I'm always doubting if I'm understanding and applying Socionics correctly.

Your breakdown of how you think Fi vs Fe shows up is really helpful, thank you; I have to admit I do suppress my own expression of feelings if I know it will wound someone's sense of self and make them feel upset and unsettled. If my self expression is going to be beneficial to my relationship with others, and positive sharing of ideas and feelings, then I will be more open and upfront. My way of suppressing and demonising my own negative reactions and emotions isn't exactly the best way to be; I'm trying not to bottle up my instinctual self since eventually it all explodes in a major negative messy outburst that really does shake up others and causes me a lot of following guilt and self hatred. Yet, it's my default personal approach. I can learn to respond in more proactive ways but innately, like you said, my original motivation is 'in order not to hurt others or damage my relationship with them, I won't express certain parts of myself lest it causes a ruined messy outcome'

[justalitnerdxx]

I'll presume EII is my best fit and put this matter to bed

[neproblems]

I'll presume EII is my best fit and put this matter to bed

Hey,

Yes, I was about to reply to your Delta thread.

Blatent EII IMO ; )

[justalitnerdxx]

Hey,

Yes, I was about to reply to your Delta thread.

Blatent EII IMO ; )

Oh oh gosh that blank thread that won't delete. I'm still getting used to this site. Also meant to close/end this thread but I guess I didn't?

Thank you anyways for wanting to reply