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Thread: Random shit

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    snegledmaca's Avatar
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    Default Random shit

    ...

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    Once upon a time there lived a little girl called Little Red Riding Hood. She lived in the suburbs with her mommy and daddy. One day her mommy decided to send her over to her grandma’s house which was deep in the woodly woods. She packed different gifts for grandma and gave them to Little Red.
    -“Ok, honey, now take this to the old nutjob and remember to be nice. We have her inheritance to think of”
    -“Don’t worry mamma, I’ll be good”
    And off she went. Little Red smirks.
    -“Mamma’s stupid. I know what’s gonna happen. I read the book. The wolf’s gonna eat gran’ma and try to fool me by pretending to be gran’ma. Then with my trusty shotgun I’m gonna blow his brains out and then save gran’ma and she’s gonna give me all of her money as a reward”
    Little Red then packed the shotgun neatly in her bag and set off for grandma’s house. On her walk through the woodly woods she encountered the *big* *bad* wolf.
    -“Hey’a Red”
    -“Hey’a Wolf”
    -“Of to see the nutjob again. I heard she shot a man last night.”
    -“What, again?”
    -“Yeah, the police are in the area. They’ll probably declare this one a suicide to. Must be nice to have all that money.”
    -“Yeeeeeah.... I’d love to get my hands on that money! Well, see ya...wolf” and off she went.
    The wolf stood there until Little Red left.
    -“Hmmm, that little bitch is up to something. I’d better go up to the house of terror and see what she’s up to”
    As the wolf was going to grandma’s house he tripped and fell and imbedded himself on a broken off three stomp. It went through his chest like through butter. Heavy hemorrhaging followed and the wolf died in horrible pain. In the meantime Little Red arrived at her grandma’s. She knocks on the door.
    -“You home gran’ma?”
    -“The doors open, just give me the booze and go away”
    Little Red enters. She approaches grandma.
    -“Ok... wolf! I know that’s you in gran’ma’s bed! Where’s gran’ma!” and she pulled her shiny shotgun from her backpack over her head and pointed it at her grandma. Little Red was blind on one eye and could see poorly on the other. She got that from all the beating she received while younger. She also got a crocked spine, and hearing problems. Not to mention brain damage.
    -“But I am your grandma you insane little girl” grandma replied in horror.
    -“You better tell me what you’ve done to gran’ma” reloads ”or I’ll blow your brains out!”
    -“But I AM your grandma!!!”
    -“Don’t worry gran’ma!” puts the nozzle of the shotgun in grandma’s mouth ”I’ll save you!”
    Pulls the trigger and blows grandma’s brains out... of her head.
    -“Don’t worry gran’ma I’m-a-coming” and grabs her trusty hunters knife and rips a hole in grandma’s abdomen.
    -“Dang!“ looks through her intestines ”She’s not here! Where could she be” and starts looking for grandma all over the place. A little while later Little Red is disturbed by something that sounded like a police megafon. She grabs her trusted shotgun and goes outside to investigate. And sure enough immediately as she exits the house she discovers the problem. The house was surrounded by cops and they all had their weapons pointed at her. As you might imagine Little Red got a bit scared. Now you might imagine how this looked for the brave men and women in blue in front of the house. Little Red...all soaked in blood...with a shotgun in her hand...looking like a monster...well you get the picture. Anyway, Little Red was standing there, shaking like a leaf and then, whoops, that clumsy little girl, accidentally pulled the trigger. Well...you might’ve guessed what happened next. Bullets started flying like there was no tomorrow. Bit and pieces of Little Red flying everywhere. Oh, it was truly... horrid. When the showering stooped there wasn’t much left of the poor little girl.
    After that incident Little Red’s mommy got her hands on the money she so desperately wanted from grandma and divorced her husband. She went on trips around the world and lived the life of true hedonism. Little Red’s daddy didn’t see a dime from his mother’s fortune that was supposed to become his. He later remarried and they all lived happily ever after.

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    oyburger's Avatar
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    Ummm, the moral of the story is to trust no one?
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    your psychological make-up is now in question. because of this, I am terminating further identical relations between us.
    IEI subtype

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    This story only works because she had already read about the tale -- that means, the tale about herself.

    So it's more about the dangers of trusting predestination - as in Minority Report - than anything else.
    , LIE, ENTj logical subtype, 8w9 sx/sp
    Quote Originally Posted by implied
    gah you're like the shittiest ENTj ever!

  6. #6
    Creepy-pokeball

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    Ughh, hated that movie with passion.

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    ...

    Lesson 8: How to raise a prosperous community
    In this chapter you will learn how to raise and maintain a prosperous community.

    ...

    Step 2: Uniting the flock
    Ok, now that you’ve got your flock you must unite it with a strong bond and build a foundation for your future community.

    The following is an example of an efficient and tried and tested way of building solid foundations on which your future community will rest upon.


    My dear friends, I am here today to speak to you about a DANGEROUS threat that looms over our society. The “Environmentalists”. The SCOURGE of humanity. The lowest point in human history. They will be the down fall of humanity. We cannot afford to sit and watch anymore. The damage has been done and it is up to US to stop this evil menace. They have plagued our lives for TOO LONG! I say it has to stop and it has to stop NOW! It is up to us, noble and PURE citizens, to put an end to this scourge, this MONSTROSITY that has gotten a grip on our society and is eating away at its roots.

    These “environmentalists” are nothing but a bunch of morally degenerate people bent on destroying YOUR morally pure life. I’ll go so far as to say that they have NO moral code what so ever. Nothing is sacred to them. All they care about is their “precious environment” and its “preservation”. They do not care about you. They do not understand your suffering. The life you lead and the troubles you face. They have no patience for your actions and attack the roots of everyday life. It is the needs of the regular people, YOUR NEEDS, that are left behind in their quest for “preservation” and “conservation”. They propagate LIES to covert you to their twisted ways. To LOSE your integrity and honesty. We must FIGHT this abomination for it has its minions everywhere, always alert and never hesitating to propagate their CORRUPT and EEEEEEVIL ways.

    My brethren, I speak to you in hope that you listen and follow me in the path to our liberation from these demons. They dictate our lives, they corrupt our children. They must (pause) be stopped!

    *the crowd goes into a wild frenzy*
    Crowd (shouting in unison): PURITY, PURITY, PURITY, PURITY…
    Lesson to learn: [img]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v458/kptwillard/smiley_******.gif[/img]+ = &

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    Quote Originally Posted by oyburger
    Ummm, the moral of the story is to trust no one?
    no silly. (And all my stories have an complete absence of moral) The story itself, as a whole, is the point.

    Quote Originally Posted by Expat
    This story only works because she had already read about the tale -- that means, the tale about herself.

    So it's more about the dangers of trusting predestination - as in Minority Report - than anything else.
    I don't recall that movie.

    I don't know. It was more of an attempt of showing the flow of empowering cruelty. Kinda like a god that is playing with the mortals and is totally disassociated from it all but with no actual god.


    EDIT:

    "This story only works because she had already read about the tale"


    And because she had a shotgun. So it must be about the dangers of shotguns as well. Or perhaps inheritance? Or living in the woods? Or being molested in youth? Can you really point to something and say this is it?

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    All fairy tails have morals. I like Expat's explanation.
    All Hail The Flying Spaghetti Monster

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    Quote Originally Posted by oyburger
    All fairy tails have morals.
    "All fairy tails...".

    If I wrapped shit in a plastic bag and called it a diamond would you believe me?

    In any case I agree with you.

    I like Expat's explanation.
    Well it's wrong. Predestination has nothing to do with it. No element of the story has a precedence. It's a whole.

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  12. #12
    snegledmaca's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by vague


    your psychological make-up is now in question. because of this, I am terminating further identical relations between us.


    Here, have a smilie .

    Better?

  13. #13
    snegledmaca's Avatar
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    Just so people don't think I'm psycho, I just need a place to put this shit. My further postings will be "normal". And here's a random pic



  14. #14

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    i also like the guy in pink, he belongs in a music video.

  15. #15
    Creepy-aurora_faerie

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall


    laugh.

    this is sad

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