What do you think de- and increases it?
What factors are involved locally?
Is there typically a person or interest group that determines what general social acceptance is for their gain?
What do you think de- and increases it?
What factors are involved locally?
Is there typically a person or interest group that determines what general social acceptance is for their gain?
Your Status like if you're popular or have money, conforming to people ideas
#1 You need to want to fit in (... and I'm out. Anyways there are studies that professional in fields like stand up comedy do not usually care at all. Sweet spot for democratic quadras.)
I think it works universally like non-factual politics.
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Social acceptance = social conformity.
You can't be accepted by a round hole, if you're coming at it with a square peg. (giggitty)
Usually people identify through underlying sexual / violent impulses. On a core level, in the absence of a common transcendent value this is the best way to unite people.
Survival and sex.
And violence also which usually takes the form of scapegoating. One of the quickest ways to fit in is to attack the out group.
I'd toss that into survival, tbh.
I don't understand all the questions, but I think having social acceptance has something to do with meeting people where they are... accepting the basic premises set forth by the group, or at least pretending. Usually there's a little wiggle room within certain parameters. I don't know if there's a non-intuitive way of determining what the premises are are and where the boundaries lie. Being nice usually helps, or at least helps mitigate the effects of being different, at least for women.
It usually depends on the overall culture... and the culture of the group. One culture may be diametrically opposed to another culture. So you might be socially accepted in one culture, but rejected in another. You will have to know all the rules and norms of said culture.
Majority groups are almost always accepted, while minority groups are often rejected.
That would make the guys version "being useful"
Here are some things that seem to increase social acceptance:
-Similarity to others, similar views, appearance, interests, and behaviors
-Perceived friendliness, smiling, warmth, empathy
-Participation, being around others and joining conversation
-Competence, being successful
-Appearance, being physically attractive
-Making occasional mistakes (when generally competent) - this makes you seem more human and relatable
-Confidence and positive attitude
-Openness, being communicative, not overly private
-Honesty and integrity
-Sense of humor
-Having a good attitude toward others, not putting people down or holding grudges
-Complimenting others
-Having friends - people tend to like those who are already liked, especially by people in their social circle
Being nice and stuff.
Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.
It's a strange thing that's been happening lately though, the various out groups have become the in group. ANd there is social currency in your victimized outgroup status ... of course that's always been there but nowdays it seems to be the dominant culture. And anything resembling an idea of an in group has become the outgroup.
That sounds more like groupthink associated with the outgroup and you not realizing you've taken a wrong turn and wound up in the outgroup lol.
Like, wtf... Was staring at my phone and then wham I realized I was in china town lol
No it's happening on a cultural level. The whole rise of Trump was basically an anti establishment right wing phenomenon
May be age related, then.
Obama years were bizarre compared the other years in my 32 years.
I'm a loner. When I open up and become more social I become "shunned". Story of my life. I keep trying with the hopes of one day finding my tribe.
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Very true. Or ridiculing the (usually deprivileged) out-group. Important: That's why there's a fine line between microaggressions and humor.
I dated a number of women in my twenties. Every one of them seemed crazy to me in one way or another. I finally met this one girl who was easily the worst of the bunch, and after we broke up, I began to consider the very real likelihood that I would never find someone to marry. I pretty much just gave up looking for someone else and started doing what made me happy.
One of the things I did to improve my happiness level was to join an amateur astronomy group that met at the local university. It was, as you can imagine, 95% male, and most of the males were pretty much destined to be single, too. They were geeks, socially awkward, politically incorrect and generally rude and crude. But very smart and very good-hearted. My kind of guys, I guess.
One evening at one of our meetings, I noticed a woman pacing back and forth outside the door of the classroom where we were meeting. She was dressed in a gray wool skirt, a white blouse, a red knit sweater, black shoes, and nylons. Hell, she had nylons on. Also, her hair had been professionally done. She looked so different from the women I was used to, that I assumed she was either lost or was waiting outside to meet her jock football player boyfriend who would take her to some more interesting event. Not ours, certainly.
The meeting started, and she came in and sat down in front of me. I assumed she got tired of standing. I could see that she was very classy and conventionally pretty (but not my style at all), and I started forming a plan to talk to her during the mid-meeting break, which was when the meeting switched from a formal talk to informal discussions, to try to get her to join the club. I imagined that her presence would attract other guys to join the club.
Our speaker that night was a professional astronomer. That part, the first lecture half of the meeting, went well and at half-time, the president of the club, a friend of mine who was a beer-drinking, rather direct and slightly crude ESI-Se, got up and started talking in the way he normally talked. The woman got up and bolted for the door and was gone.
I sat there and thought, Well, there you have it. An attractive woman meets my group of friends, and she wants to have nothing to do with us. Story of my life. It was just another slap in the face by the Universe, telling me that I'm stupid to think that my social life could get better.
A month later, the club organized a road trip to Yerkes observatory, and that woman was one of the drivers. A year later, I married her.
So, we're talking conformity huh? Oh well, try to follow the rules of the group. Not the laws or policies. Yeah, grey area there. Good way to leave it is to rat on a group crime. Like hazing. You can't do it too well, unless that is generally accepted. Oh and LEARN THE RULES. Takes a special kind of person to do this. Real special. Like you couldn't pay me to even bother.
As for the interest group that determines the general social acceptance level, I'd say no. Generally, interests come from being interested, not out of social pressures. If you had to force me into it, I'd say boy scouts? That's only because parents force their kids to join up. Similar with sports. There are those people who do join the scouts legitimately though. Pretty impressive people, them.
Reminds me of the time I was with the weird kid and my sensitive friend. I should've been closer friends with the weird kid.
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An optimist - does not get discouraged under any circumstances. Life upheavals and stressful events only toughen him and make more confident. He likes to laugh and entertain people. Enters contact with someone by involving him with a humorous remark. His humor is often sly and contain hints and double meanings. Easily enters into arguments and bets, especially if he is challenged. When arguing his points is often ironic, ridicules the views of his opponent. His irritability and hot temper may be unpleasant to others. However, he himself is not perceptive of this and believes that he is simply exchanging opinions.
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Yeah, that's how I peceive it.
In my job I happen to meet a lot of different companies. After a while, it becomes pretty obvious that after 1-2 hours of interaction, you already somewhat know if you will be able to interact with a given company culture on the same level, or if you are going to be ostracized and/or generally find a lot of difficulties interacting.
Last edited by FDG; 11-22-2017 at 06:59 AM.
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Money. Looks. Intelligently regurgitating dogma.
I am going to re-arrange the order of your questions.
This is somewhat vague, are you asking if there is a person/interest group who acts as a third party mediator, to determine these things on behalf of others? Because everybody will act to advance their own interests.
I will often observe a "pack hierarchy" within a group where only one or two people decide on who gets to join it. This seems particularly prevalent among women. Groups largely consisting of men tend to be less structured and more democratic.
Well, depending on your personality, you will fit into some groups or cliques a lot better than others. Play to your strengths, figure out what you're best at and work from there.
You have already alluded to most important factor: your environment. If you are not succeeding socially, this is the first thing that you should change.
Other factors include physical attractiveness, and general social, conservational skills such as confidence, knowledge of current events and pop culture.
What increases it: Having a good fashion sense, being personable. Being nice but not too nice. Being professional.
What decreases it: Bad fashion sense, being rude w/o being hot. Being too emotional & private. Being too nice/a people pleaser that is easily bullied.
Though I think that socially accepted people are often very uninteresting. I'd rather hang out with the losers from group B.