The effect of an SLI for an IEE (ISTp and ENFp)

[Rebelondeck]

........ i thought meeting your dual was supposed to, you know, make you feel good..........

I've always maintained that duality is all about need and not desire. I'm quite sure that your holistic perception of the world and exploratory curiosity are very valuable to SLIs although they may not realize or admit it......

a.k.a. I/O

[scio]

@Rebelondeck thank you i've definitely always recognized that he is someone that I will always need as a wake up call to reality.
thank you thank you thank you

and thank you
SO helpful. <3

[scio]

@Slugabed omg SLIs are amazing... Yes this is absolutely true. Hits so close to home. He is teaching me what real love IS.
With IEE's having more problems with acceptance, I can describe it as an itch. I feel great but then I'll suddenly look at it differently. I feel so susceptible all of the time and am so malleable to my environment. Maybe this is more me than type. I'm not sure, but I often feel as though I have no center. You can poke around and it may be solid for awhile but sooner or later you'll get through to the gooey part and be able to pull it and twist it. This could be very weak Ti and childlike Te but I have no idea.
So interesting.. you literally got it exactly. Thank you

[Chae]

I read this half-crying, this sounds very much like sth I would appreciate in an SLI. I like the care, the realism, and the moral attitude

 

[applejacks]

I've observed a few things from one particular heterosexual couple; it's not typical but it demonstrates something about this pairing. This SLI would have to metaphorically slap the IEE with doses of reality; as educated as the IEE was, distractibility, naivety and gullibility was omnipresent but there was also fair amount of selfishness below the bubbly, flirty exterior. Easily swayed by sweet talkers and potential for romance, the IEE would consistently stray and the SLI would always forgive, allow the IEE back and lick the IEE's wounds. The IEE seemed to hide a little self-flagellation with some substance abuse, but the SLI would try to protect the IEE from those that fed the IEE's dark side; luckily, those people seem to greatly fear the SLI. The SLI literally did every household chore while the IEE pursued the latest whim. There had to be more to the relationship because most would have kicked the IEE to the curb long ago. The SLI seems to provide nothing more than a temporary refuge; maybe some day, the IEE will see the light. In this extreme example, the healthier choice for the SLI would be that the IEE permanently leave, but not for the IEE......

a.k.a. I/O

A) a cheater / flirt is just that, regardless of type. This person should be excused from the relationship because of that alone.

B) this is not characteristic of all mature, committed IEEs. I go so far as to remove myself from most male friendships because my marriage is that important and sacred to me, and I will not allow even a perception of flirting to endanger it.

C) all these issues aside, this vantage point seems one sided. Yes, IEE can be distracted and in the clouds, and we often prioritize our time towards helping individuals rather than more mundane tasks of cleaning. SLI compliment us here. But SLI have the reverse problem at times, in which they can seem so anti social, disconnected, or isolated because of their non verbal cues, and they benefit from the IEE understanding, helping, or explaining the underlying behavior to others. It's a beautiful compliment. Plus, when the IEE learns to tie a people oriented purpose to a mundane task (I.e. "I love this person, and this person values a clean home, therefore I'm now going to clean), we can be pretty awesome (AND capable) in relationships.

D) there may be times when one partner is pulling more than their share of the weight in a relationship, but with the right person, with commitment, with maturity, with perseverance, this should fluctuate. It has in our experience, and that's what being a team is about.

Not every type is mature or holds the same values, however. But this is my two cents.

[scio]

@Chae lol "that is life" I hear on the daily with my SLI
I love that too.

[scio]

@applejacks I definitely agree here. I never could cheat in any type of way. People are in different stages of their maturity and development all throughout life. We can regress and progress.
I liked your point of helping the SLI being more understanding/social with people. Also YES I clean/do household chores way more than I ever have in my life, and I must admit, it is nice. lol
It all depends on timing, I think.

[scio]

@Slugabed <3 I'm reading it now!

[Beautiful sky]

A) a cheater / flirt is just that, regardless of type. This person should be excused from the relationship because of that alone.

B) this is not characteristic of all mature, committed IEEs. I go so far as to remove myself from most male friendships because my marriage is that important and sacred to me, and I will not allow even a perception of flirting to endanger it.

C) all these issues aside, this vantage point seems one sided. Yes, IEE can be distracted and in the clouds, and we often prioritize our time towards helping individuals rather than more mundane tasks of cleaning. SLI compliment us here. But SLI have the reverse problem at times, in which they can seem so anti social, disconnected, or isolated because of their non verbal cues, and they benefit from the IEE understanding, helping, or explaining the underlying behavior to others. It's a beautiful compliment. Plus, when the IEE learns to tie a people oriented purpose to a mundane task (I.e. "I love this person, and this person values a clean home, therefore I'm now going to clean), we can be pretty awesome (AND capable) in relationships.

D) there may be times when one partner is pulling more than their share of the weight in a relationship, but with the right person, with commitment, with maturity, with perseverance, this should fluctuate. It has in our experience, and that's what being a team is about.

Not every type is mature or holds the same values, however. But this is my two cents.

Very nice Fi here "that person should be"

[Rebelondeck]

A) a cheater / flirt is just that, regardless of type. ....... all these issues aside, this vantage point seems one sided..........

I agree with you about those that cannot honor their commitments but maturity is no indication of social ethics; here, I don't refer to the Socionics ethical because I've run across too many F-types who weren't very ethical. This particular example was one-sided because the question was one-sided and I wanted to show the lengths to which SLI commitment can go; SLIs are often maligned but they can be ethical to a fault.

I look upon an Ep-Ip dual as I would a plant with the Ip part deeply rooted and the Ep blowing in the breeze; both contribute to the health of the partnership in their own ways.......

a.k.a. I/O

[scio]

@Slugabed They even make the same facial expressions. I love it.
<3 EEEP U guys r such cuties

[scio]

@Rebelondeck
I genuinely think that EFjs are more likely to cheat. For me, it takes a century to decide on someone, but when I do I can't dishonor and humiliate that person. I am with them because I respect them, even if it becomes sour.

I have met ENFjs and ESFjs that have cheated because they are so willing to keep a commitment yet fear breaking up if they have to. These are also the same people that will lead people on BECAUSE they don't want to be rude. I'm sure this also goes hand in hand with maturity, but it's something I've never been able to understand.

[inabox]

I've observed a few things from one particular heterosexual couple; it's not typical but it demonstrates something about this pairing. This SLI would have to metaphorically slap the IEE with doses of reality; as educated as the IEE was, distractibility, naivety and gullibility was omnipresent but there was also fair amount of selfishness below the bubbly, flirty exterior. Easily swayed by sweet talkers and potential for romance, the IEE would consistently stray and the SLI would always forgive, allow the IEE back and lick the IEE's wounds. The IEE seemed to hide a little self-flagellation with some substance abuse, but the SLI would try to protect the IEE from those that fed the IEE's dark side; luckily, those people seem to greatly fear the SLI. The SLI literally did every household chore while the IEE pursued the latest whim. There had to be more to the relationship because most would have kicked the IEE to the curb long ago. The SLI seems to provide nothing more than a temporary refuge; maybe some day, the IEE will see the light. In this extreme example, the healthier choice for the SLI would be that the IEE permanently leave, but not for the IEE......

a.k.a. I/O

Whoa duality can get dark O_O unsurprisingly - because terrible people are terrible people even if they're with duals. I don't mean to say that the IEE mentioned is the scum of the earth - he/she reminded me.of the worst parts.of myself. I can however say I know of enough IEEs who are not that shitty.