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Thread: Beta confessions

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    I was kidnapped by Alphas to do anime cosplay and join their otaku clique when I was in 8th grade. Stockholm Syndrome tells me I enjoyed it.
    Upside: Now I know how to make proper sushi.

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    I had a crush on Edward Cullen from Twilight.

    Such a dirty little sinful confession.

    I probably should go on a three-month spiritual cleanse and mutter to the heavens I deserve punishment, but I'd have the audacity to ask for their forgiveness.
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    When I was 12 I was held against my will, on two separate occasions, by two different people in the same family. It was a bit terrifying but I was able to talk my way out of it both times... more like trick one of them into letting me go. One felt like a life or death struggle but the other situation just felt like a stalemate until they got tired. I should have learned my lesson after the first time but I went back for more.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
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    my sin:
    when i was in elementary school, i encouraged an EIE friend to steal something from another IEI girl and throw it away, because i was envious how she got more attention than me/us because of something, which i thought she didn't deserve. the item was something of personal value, which couldn't be replaced (we didn't know that), but the IEI girl sweetly forgave us and didn't hold any grudges. i always assumed that her "niceness", was something she put on for others, but i realised at that very moment that she is a better person than i could ever be. i felt tremendously guilty and ashamed of this even years after.

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    One time in high school, there was a kid in class who wanted to be our friend. So we convinced him to leave class and run across this section of the building, and we were going to drop a water balloon. If he didnt get hit, he would be kewl or whatever. It was under our window and we were on the third floor. He started running and instead we dropped a soda can, it hit him, exploded and he fell and was bleeding from the head. We laughed because we were evil, and because why would he even want to be our friend after that?
    Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.

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    from toronto with love ScarlettLux's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Herzy View Post
    Confess your Beta-related sins here!


    I'll go first. I went through a three-month long emo phase when I was in 7th grade.

    You go next.
    Oh my god you're back


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    When I was like 18, 19... I vandalized things that I felt were oppressive to Fe and things that pissed me off. Looking back at it now, it was kind of a Beta thing to do at the time. I kind of feel bad about it now and I don't want to vandalize anymore. I think Deltas would be mad at me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Cassandra View Post
    I had a crush on Edward Cullen from Twilight.

    Such a dirty little sinful confession.

    I probably should go on a three-month spiritual cleanse and mutter to the heavens I deserve punishment, but I'd have the audacity to ask for their forgiveness.
    lol and now with this quote...hahaha
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    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
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    this thread makes me feel good in my own skin
    like others have sinned too or some shit

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    in Kindergarten there was a ban on the use of certain words like 'shit', so there was this proto bitch that was getting on my nerves somehow so I went on and started telling this 'recipe' to a bunch of them I knew and described that once the cake is done its color is somewhat 'shitty' so having sensed her low personal integrity I knew that she'll engage in a retarded slander campaing, ultimately culminating in me destroying her socially because she'll end up being a liar and a manipulator, so upon hearing the use of the word 'shitty' she INSTANTLY ran to the teacher and told that 'AngryIEI just said the word SHIT' so the teacher ran to me and asked me if I did it, and I said no and vehemently denied, but the teacher took her word for it because she was a girl or something and they never lie and boys are nasty hoes so I ended up taking shit for saying the word 'shit' while in reality i never said it, I said 'shitty'.

    Ever since, when I recall that story I of course omit mentioning the part where my intentions are, so it ends up being just this example of how humans lack integrity even from very early age or something like that, I was an wide-eyed kid that simply wanted to tell his friends a recipe ( the only one really ) he knew but there comes a bitch from hell perverting it all into a social game and on tops authority figure in kindergarten gets on her side and I end up having to suffer because of them for no good reason at all

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    Quote Originally Posted by Herzy View Post
    @angryIEI, you were thinking about that kind of thing in kindergarten? lmao!

    Back in kindergarten, I really loved crayons. I had this enormous bin full of them at home. I used to smuggle crayons to and from school like they were crack. I made the best artwork. Good times!
    Yeah, I thought everyone did

    I wanted some of these crayons for myself, extremely tempting stuff, not enough "man functions" to steal them though and not give a fuck, fuck this i feel bad now for not stealing, such is the life of an IEI male or some sh
    Last edited by IEICUCK; 02-19-2017 at 04:01 PM.

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    I was made ward of the state for not going to school and was sent away to group homes and mental institutions when I was 13 and would stay there until I'm 18. And even then for two more years later I had to deal with nasty social workers. As part of some gay after-program thing. I met a lot of hot SLE guys doing this though, so it wasn't all bad. Part of me wanted to go, as I was sooo tired of delta '9 to 5' life or something. Juvenile prison was actually a comfy alternative to that sort of sickness.

    Though shy and gentle, I am also angry, rebellious and stern and narcissitically want my way at all times.

    I also jacked off in 6th grade lol victor, fun times. "do you have to use the bathroom or something sam? Just speak up if you have to use the bathroom." me: (Just continues to masturbate) Then a social worker came in and I had to talk about how I was bullied and hated school, and she meant well and I really did like her and she was one of the good ones- but I still wasn't gonna go to school every day just to get mistreated and harrassed for not liking sports and str8 man things.

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    from toronto with love ScarlettLux's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    When I was in middle school I used to troll random guys on the internet, make them basically fall in love with me or talk about sexual stuff and then at the end of the conversation I'd say "LOL, JUST KIDDING I'M ACTUALLY A DUDE".

    When I was in high school my neighbor used to have a crush on me and would always try to get me to make out with him. He would message me on AIM begging me to do stuff with him and I would always agree to meet him at the park after school and never show up, or he'd show up at my house and I'd answer the door and be like "sike!" just for the lol's. A lot of times my friends would also help me troll him. He fell for this like 4 or 5 times, but I gotta say I admired his persistence. I don't think he ever took it to heart, we're still cool with each other to this day (he now has a wife and child).

    I was not interested in boys in middle school or high school, but I still liked playing games with the ones who liked me because I was immature.
    Lmao that's hilarious. Yes, immature, but still funny to look back upon. Immature Beta humour can be mean. Mature Beta humour can still be mean.


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    Seed my wickedness The Reality Denialist's Avatar
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    Betas on crayon high. The ultimate gateway drug for crime and drug abuse.


    (OTOH I liked chalk: You could just doodle math [NOT meth but nowadays it could be quite cool to doodle synthesis for it])
    MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
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    back for the time being Chae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Starfall View Post
    When I was in middle school I used to troll random guys on the internet, make them basically fall in love with me or talk about sexual stuff and then at the end of the conversation I'd say "LOL, JUST KIDDING I'M ACTUALLY A DUDE".
    I liked the first part. Can Beta just continue to crush the homophobes and make society a better place!! We're too conflict-averse in Delta so you can execute that for us. We will cook for you as a reward


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    Quote Originally Posted by Chae View Post
    I liked the first part. Can Beta just continue to crush the homophobes and make society a better place!! We're too conflict-averse in Delta so you can execute that for us.
    Yeah, Betas actually do that sort of thing... It's probably not the most productive way to do it though.

    Can Deltas stop being so conflict-averse . It sucks for Betas when you have to be the vanguard for some progressive social movement and there is no one else except for some fellow Betas (who often tend to create a lot of drama like described in the Quadra Complexes).

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    it already works that way sometimes that Chae wishes for. Deltas indoctrinate the youth and socially engineer things on societal/global scale. Then you get Madonna threatening to blow up the Whitehouse for the same values conjured by somebody else ( just an example I know it can be critiqued ).

    Betas are most impossible to tame interpersonally, but I do think more 'product of their time' kind of people, than the rest of the quadras. /socionics occult knowledge

    Watch out what you digest mentally and why ^_^.

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    I've slept with the wrong person in the past!

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    Ive gotten out of multiple speeding tickets by being overtly polite and honest with policemen, and agreeing with everything they said. They think its refreshing to not have someone try to bullshit them, but im secretly tricking them because im so sneeky.

    Were you aware how fast you were going?
    67, sir.
    Actually it was 63 in a 45.
    Oh.
    Do you have somewhere you need to be quickly?
    No, sir. I was just going too fast. I understand why you pulled me over. Its your job.
    Do you have any warrants?
    No sir! This is the first time ive ever been pulled over.
    Alright im going to let you go with a warning, stay under the speed limit until you're out of the county.
    Thank you sir!

    27 and no tickets, eat a dick coppers.
    Projection is ordinary. Person A projects at person B, hoping tovalidate something about person A by the response of person B. However, person B, not wanting to be an obejct of someone elses ego and guarding against existential terror constructs a personality which protects his ego and maintain a certain sense of a robust and real self that is different and separate from person A. Sadly, this robust and real self, cut off by defenses of character from the rest of the world, is quite vulnerable and fragile given that it is imaginary and propped up through external feed back. Person B is dimly aware of this and defends against it all the more, even desperately projecting his anxieties back onto person A, with the hope of shoring up his ego with salubrious validation. All of this happens without A or B acknowledging it, of course. Because to face up to it consciously is shocking, in that this is all anybody is doing or can do and it seems absurd when you realize how pathetic it is.

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    Seed my wickedness The Reality Denialist's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by angryIEI View Post
    I've slept with the wrong person in the past!
    I mean 1D and all. If the person was identical twin even almighty SLE might get it honestly wrong. Even better: identical siamese twin if you are about to get up from wrong side of the bed.
    MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aylen View Post
    When I was 12 I was held against my will, on two separate occasions, by two different people in the same family. It was a bit terrifying but I was able to talk my way out of it both times... more like trick one of them into letting me go. One felt like a life or death struggle but the other situation just felt like a stalemate until they got tired. I should have learned my lesson after the first time but I went back for more.
    I also, unwittingly, made myself a martyr by sinking into the depths of victimhood, even if I did not perceive myself as a victim. I was more of an observer, allowing it, so others wouldn't have to. It all seems rather ridiculous now since I doubt it saved anyone from their own particular brand of suffering. In a weird way I saved myself by refusing to be labeled a victim. I see it all so clearly, in hindsight. I learned a lot about myself and what I am capable of handling without breaking. I have explored these themes, in cycles. They have lead me to where I am today.

    “We are the sum total of our experiences. Those experiences – be they positive or negative – make us the person we are, at any given point in our lives. And, like a flowing river, those same experiences, and those yet to come, continue to influence and reshape the person we are, and the person we become. None of us are the same as we were yesterday, nor will be tomorrow.”
    ― B.J. Neblett
    I don't consider myself just the sum of my experiences but I agree with his general sentiments.

    “My typology is . . . not in any sense to stick labels on people at first sight. It is not a physiognomy and not an anthropological system, but a critical psychology dealing with the organization and delimitation of psychic processes that can be shown to be typical.”​ —C.G. Jung
     
    YWIMW

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    ....... This one time when I was 17 at a treatment center and sent down to this underground, all-white bunker, we were sleeping 4 to a room and my friend jacked off into his hand and slung it on this sleeping guys face while I spit large pools of spit on this other guys face repeatedly to a point where he was covered in saliva then he woke up and I got sent to this containment room and my friend (the jack off person) got sent to a separate room.

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    Several times I've had to kick customers repeatedly in the head with my stripper heels.

    When I was a child I used to make penises out of Play-Doh. My older SLE brother saw and asked "What are you doing?!" My response was "I'm making wieners." Like, duh. He ran to tattle on me but surprisingly I was never punished.

    Before kindergarden age I was done with a bath and running around in my towel. I stood up on a metal chair, threw my towel down and started shaking my butt around suggestively. My EII mom and sister were like "What the heck are you doing?!" My response was "What. This is what you're supposed to do!" Was I an stripper in a past life or something?

    As a kid I once told my younger EIE brother that if he grabbed a thorny thistle plant really hard he would become a power ranger. He totally grabbed one and screamed all the way home. I actually felt guilty even tho he was always fucking with me.

    I also told him that if he ever pulled a piece of plastic I placed in a small hole in the wall that the whole family would blow up. He didn't take the plastic out of the wall.

    Another time I poured some rubbing alcohol into a 7-Up soda cap and told the EIE brother that it was 7-Up. He drank it and spit out and started crying. (felt guilty for that one too)
    LSI-Se 836 Sp/Sx

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    I enjoy kissing ass in private.

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    I might have a wee crush on my art teacher. She's like a swan in human form. Like an Odette who teaches us about cubism

    I almost cut my belly open as a kid because I figured "Hey, if it worked for Red Riding Hood I should be fine."
    “I want the following word: splendor, splendor is fruit in all its succulence, fruit without sadness. I want vast distances. My savage intuition of myself.”
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    @Sol is cute

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    Quote Originally Posted by Viktor View Post
    I jacked off in school once in 6th grade
    That was senior year for me.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Pookie View Post
    Ive gotten out of multiple speeding tickets by being overtly polite and honest with policemen, and agreeing with everything they said. They think its refreshing to not have someone try to bullshit them, but im secretly tricking them because im so sneeky.

    Were you aware how fast you were going?
    67, sir.
    Actually it was 63 in a 45.
    Oh.
    Do you have somewhere you need to be quickly?
    No, sir. I was just going too fast. I understand why you pulled me over. Its your job.
    Do you have any warrants?
    No sir! This is the first time ive ever been pulled over.
    Alright im going to let you go with a warning, stay under the speed limit until you're out of the county.
    Thank you sir!

    27 and no tickets, eat a dick coppers.
    I suck at dealing with cops. My best bet is to be with a buddy and let them do the talking while I stand there and be the village idiot.

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    I feel strongfat
    [Today 07:57 AM] Raver: Life is a ride that lasts very long, but still a ride. It is a dream that we have yet to awaken from.

    It's hard to find a love through every shade of grey.

  30. #30
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    Guy: Why are you dressed all in black?
    Me: Because I'm mourning
    Guy: Oh, what are you mourning?
    Me: The whole fucking world.


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    Quote Originally Posted by Owl View Post
    Guy: Why are you dressed all in black?
    Me: Because I'm mourning
    Guy: Oh, what are you mourning?
    Me: The whole fucking world.
    IEI-H is kind of more positive than that... EIE-H is like this though, supposedly. Based on descriptions... Lol idk though your type, can't be sure from this much obviously. Just noting

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    Quote Originally Posted by Myst View Post
    IEI-H is kind of more positive than that... EIE-H is like this though, supposedly. Based on descriptions... Lol idk though your type, can't be sure from this much obviously. Just noting
    I'm thinking about being an IEI-C instead, but I think I haven't studied DCNH subtypes enough. I'm not much of a positive person though . Usually dressed in black with an obligatory gloom on my face. I can get happy and excited when around people I like though.


  33. #33
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    IEI is usually good partner for SLE due to their ability to paint better picture of the future. Makes SLE's life much easier.
    EIE... I think Nostradamus could be one (Gulenko types Nostradamus as EIE). LSI usually likes to trust people (that said they can still become too suspicious). EIE will present alternative scenarios or do something else. Maybe to shake them up?

    That is due process vs result division. Take it or leave it.
    MOTTO: NEVER TRUST IN REALITY
    Winning is for losers

     

    Sincerely yours,
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    Life is a joke but do you have a life?

    Joinif you dare https://matrix.to/#/#The16Types:matrix.org

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    Quote Originally Posted by Troll Nr 007 View Post
    IEI is usually good partner for SLE due to their ability to paint better picture of the future. Makes SLE's life much easier.
    EIE... I think Nostradamus could be one (Gulenko types Nostradamus as EIE). LSI usually likes to trust people (that said they can still become too suspicious). EIE will present alternative scenarios or do something else. Maybe to shake them up?

    That is due process vs result division. Take it or leave it.
    Nostradamus is supposed to be EIE-H.

    Um, trusting people, I dunno, I'm more neutral by default. Yes I can get suspicious when an attitude is not clear to me.

    As long as EIE presents the alternative for something sensible, it's totally ok by me.

    And yes, IEI paints the positive picture of the future... EIE doesn't necessarily and that actually can be useful to me, that's where I can get too recklessly positive about things sometimes, not seeing what possible bad thing could get in the way to prepare for.

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    Writing an article and translating takes me twice as long, because I space out 10000x while doing it. I think that listening to music makes it even worse, but I can't stand that pop shit my coworkers listen to. I need to learn how to focus more


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    Quote Originally Posted by Owl View Post
    I think that listening to music makes it even worse, but I can't stand that pop shit my coworkers listen to.
    Try quiet and calming music. Mb classical, slow, meditating. Rock is not good for the concentration.

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    Once during highschool I called one of my classmates who was named Eugene, “Eugina” (rhyming with “vagina”). A loud SEE guy in our grade took to it and kept on repeating it loudly and teasing him with it. Eugene stole my friend’s bike one day to go home with and none of us ever saw him at school again.
    [Today 07:57 AM] Raver: Life is a ride that lasts very long, but still a ride. It is a dream that we have yet to awaken from.

    It's hard to find a love through every shade of grey.

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    Haikus
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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    Once during highschool I called one of my classmates who was named Eugene, “Eugina” (rhyming with “vagina”). A loud SEE guy in our grade took to it and kept on repeating it loudly and teasing him with it. Eugene stole my friend’s bike one day to go home with and none of us ever saw him at school again.
    Hilarious!

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    Quote Originally Posted by Remiel View Post
    Hilarious!
    Hey, I merely started the meme lol. Blame the SEE guy for propagating it.
    [Today 07:57 AM] Raver: Life is a ride that lasts very long, but still a ride. It is a dream that we have yet to awaken from.

    It's hard to find a love through every shade of grey.

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    Quote Originally Posted by niffer View Post
    Hey, I merely started the meme lol. Blame the SEE guy for propagating it.
    I dont blame anyone for anything, I just think it's funny when statet so factually.

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