According my experience, I think that the goal of this relationship isnt to stay on the role of caregiver (SLI) and a childlike (IEE)…actually I think that the goal is to break this molds/shapes that IEE and SLI developed early on life. I mean, IEE stayed on this Peter Pan state (resisting/afraid to grow up, -the narcissistic tendencies are this narcissistic needs and ego from the childhood) as his primary way of interacting with the external world without being hurt, while the SLI did exactly the opposite… wished or needed grew up faster, because he/she wasnt allowed being a "child" anymore or was forced to taking care of him/her self sooner on life (or he/herself ego was neglected), which lead to seek for comfort/pleasure/avoidance/restrain (hedonistic tendencies) as response later. SLI the child was hurt, being an adult doesnt hurt him anymore, IEE the child was loved and free, being an adult restrict their (emotional) freedom, IEE the adult was hurt. They recognize on each other this "state" that they are subconsciously yearning to achieve/complete.
They would "force" each other to do things that they are afraid of. SLI would be forced to being a "child" again (letting free emotions), while IEE would be forced to be an "adult" (taking responsibilities) for communicating or achieving something on this relationship. Other way of this happening, is SLI hurting the childlike IEE (hurting his own inner child, forcing him to disappear), while IEE hurting this parenting figure that SLI represent (and hurting his/her (him/herself) own adult figure)... on this circumstances they can switch papers too. This could be used as a "punishment" and as a "rest" for each other's role... they are saying to each other: "this time you'll know how does it feel", its a "playful"(harmless) and useful revenge. SLI is now this nasty kid (he is resting) while IEE is this strict parent, both of them pushing themselves to "incarnate" this foreign role (it can be comical because often the roles are being exaggerated due the alienation). Of course all of this goes subconsciously.
For this, they first would fit their "roles", SLI would take care of IEE and IEE would be this child. After that , they would start to "exchange" roles…. I don't know how the relationship develop after this point, but I suspect that there is a time when both "merge" with each other, keeping a balance within childlike/caregiver tendencies, I mean, being equals and fulfilling this natural roles and being successful at living (like adults) and parenthood (actually SLI and IEE are two of the least on getting married and having kids according some sources).
Physical caregiver, spiritual victim
Physical infantile, spiritual aggressor
I think that spiritual could be "moral", have this tendency of stepping on what I consider being moral and good. They seem to show a disdain(not care, being childish) for how things should be (according myself).
I dont think that the explanation provided by 1981slater
is really accurate. And of course it has nothing to do with "Someone looking for being shaken in its beliefs ?", at least not my case, lol.
Edit. I want to add that its important to consider that we are talking about Romancing or Erotic styles
, not attitudes or approaches to daily life with everybody, everytime. I've noticed that some ppl have a tendency to confuse this romancing styles
as a common attitude
on people when its not supposed to be like that. I mean, being a caregiver doesnt mean that he/she is trying/wanting to take care of everybody all the time, we need to make the proper distinctions on topics and matters. Its a terrible mistake to think romancing/erotic styles are the way that someone communicate/interact with the outside world. On this sense we could find that a IEE could care of a friend or even a strange, while a SLI could be extremely careless about someone. Also the Romancing styles could manifest mostly with the complementary (duality) on this case.
I.e. I've had romantic partners with whom I wasnt (and not wanted to)be a caregiver at all.
This romancing styles/tendencies manifests naturally when dealing with natural partners, thats why this relationships are complementary, fulfilling and special.