Results 1 to 21 of 21

Thread: When do you feel judged by Fi types?

  1. #1

    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    3,605
    Mentioned
    264 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Question When do you feel judged by Fi types?

    ?

  2. #2

    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    70
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    When they smirk or curl their upper lip.

    ESIs are quite obvious.

    EIIs are a more difficult read, but straightforward in the end: when they become cold. There are other EII 'tells' that are less negative: they will use a disappointed voice when they care about you and you have a relationship where they feel comfortable correcting you (double purpose: improve you, but also establish upper hand); they will give a 'knowing smile' when they understand, which is really a sort of satisfaction on the inequality of knowledge (I know you but you don't know me!); etc.

    SEEs and IEEs both, I think, use judgments as little experiments. For SEEs I have seen anger as a test, 'if you value me you will placate me' sort of thing. They will vocalize their disapproval, to give people a chance to fix the problem, to come 'back into the fold' (where the fold is their network of allies). They may smirk to show their hotness or to flirt as well.

    IEEs may also have the knowing smiles and smirks of EIIs. The 'smirks' I express are not meant to say 'I mark you as inferior,' but rather, 'there is something hidden here--do you see it too?' as a sort of test of someone's perceptiveness.

  3. #3
    Exodus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    8,475
    Mentioned
    332 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Sometimes I will try to point out that they aren't being completely rational or fair but they seem to take this personally. So I try to avoid doing that unless it's something important.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nehtaro View Post
    SEEs and IEEs both, I think, use judgments as little experiments. For SEEs I have seen anger as a test, 'if you value me you will placate me' sort of thing.
    Not sure about IEEs but Gammas yeah, they will do "shit tests" sometimes. This is more about Se than Fi I think.

  4. #4

    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Posts
    70
    Mentioned
    9 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    Not sure about IEEs but Gammas yeah, they will do "shit tests" sometimes. This is more about Se than Fi I think.
    It is SeFi--using Se provocation to manipulate (or remind, or reveal) Fi attitudes. The IEE tests are more subtle, like a breadcrumb trail. SeTi does a sort of push-pull dance in their dualization, but not in the histrionic way that SeFi's do. SeTi's are testing whether someone will judge them for expressing themselves honestly (Fi-PoLR: "this is who I am, take it or leave it world, I don't care if you like me!"), and exploring the boundaries of the group (Ti?), whereas SeFi is more about testing and increasing their personal social capital (someone who is willing to leave has more negotiating power) and exploring the boundaries of the individuals (Fi). All EP types focus on finding and expanding boundaries, and Se types may be more direct in their approach, but there is a distinct flavoring that Fi gives as opposed to Ti. Does that make sense?

  5. #5
    Exodus's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    TIM
    LII
    Posts
    8,475
    Mentioned
    332 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Nehtaro View Post
    It is SeFi--using Se provocation to manipulate (or remind, or reveal) Fi attitudes. The IEE tests are more subtle, like a breadcrumb trail. SeTi does a sort of push-pull dance in their dualization, but not in the histrionic way that SeFi's do. SeTi's are testing whether someone will judge them for expressing themselves honestly (Fi-PoLR: "this is who I am, take it or leave it world, I don't care if you like me!"), and exploring the boundaries of the group (Ti?), whereas SeFi is more about testing and increasing their personal social capital (someone who is willing to leave has more negotiating power) and exploring the boundaries of the individuals (Fi). All EP types focus on finding and expanding boundaries, and Se types may be more direct in their approach, but there is a distinct flavoring that Fi gives as opposed to Ti. Does that make sense?
    I agree, but Beta NFs are more likely to do this kind of thing than Deltas. It's like that fake Marilyn Monroe quote:

    marilyn-monroe-selfish-quote.jpg

    A Beta NF could very easily identify with this.

  6. #6

    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    3,605
    Mentioned
    264 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    Not sure about IEEs but Gammas yeah, they will do "shit tests" sometimes. This is more about Se than Fi I think.
    Yeah I think "testing" is a Gamma thing (if done in this way)... but Betas don't really do any "testing" so I think it's more specifically Se and Fi. At least, they don't use anger to do it.

    When Betas do something like that, it's more that they think "It's better to put everything out emotionally on the table...". They think that's more "emotional honesty", but it often backfires and make things worse. You want to be completely clear about how one feels about one another.

  7. #7
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    26,935
    Mentioned
    699 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    When do I judge? When someone says or does something which causes him or her to single out and throw out someone from a group community or organization. I have an example from this forum but won't name names. Someone was bisexual but someone was put down by someone who thought it was wrong. I come along and see this so I tell that someone else that their mistreatment of the bisexual person is wrong because 1. They are older and should be setting examples by being a mentor and friend and 2. By being more sensitive to their choices.

    This example is all Fi plus not Fi negative like Gamma Fi
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  8. #8
    wasp's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    TIM
    ZGM
    Posts
    1,578
    Mentioned
    132 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    with EIIs? all the time. I don't know why but I feel like they're always watching me, waiting for me to slip up. I find myself low-key trying to impress them, to get on their good side, but to no avail. it's even worse when they open up to me about something near and dear to them, they're so fucking sincere, it melts my heart. I feel like I've been handed a fragile glass vase and one wrong move on my end will render the vase irrevocably broken. but real talk, I have no clue how to conduct myself around them, so their presence alone is enough to make me feel "judged". it's the short moments of silence, in between each word exchanged, that make me feel queasy. "What on earth is (s)he thinking?"

    I don't notice ESIs at all. I don't feel it as much with IEEs, but SEEs freak me out. with my IEE mother, she does it by shooting me a subtle glare, one that only I would catch, or she nudges me lightly. SEEs will just stare me down with x-ray vision, and I'm just like, "ohhh shit..."

  9. #9

    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    2,204
    Mentioned
    159 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Fi-ego: brush off the perceived judgment whenever possible. Jump on them like a cougar the minute they try to visit your intentions.


    Te-ego: avoid their gaze at all costs.
    Last edited by Grendel; 03-23-2017 at 10:49 PM.

  10. #10
    Bertrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    5,896
    Mentioned
    486 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Is it weird that I almost never feel judged? Like I know people are always making judgements and I don't care--I just try to do my best and accept that people are going to judge. I feel like everyone judges and everyone has a right to judge. I never got "don't judge me" and I never get a feeling like "oh man this person is judging me so hard right now." I do feel shame sometimes but its because I know I fucked up and I'm judging myself

  11. #11

    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Posts
    2,204
    Mentioned
    159 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bertrand View Post
    Is it weird that I almost never feel judged? Like I know people are always making judgements and I don't care--I just try to do my best and accept that people are going to judge. I feel like everyone judges and everyone has a right to judge. I never got "don't judge me" and I never get a feeling like "oh man this person is judging me so hard right now." I do feel shame sometimes but its because I know I fucked up and I'm judging myself
    Maybe you're proficient in all the things people bother each other about and you don't know what it's like to be deficient.


    Quote Originally Posted by thehotelambush View Post
    My mantra.

  12. #12
    Humanist Beautiful sky's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    EII land
    TIM
    EII INFj
    Posts
    26,935
    Mentioned
    699 Post(s)
    Tagged
    6 Thread(s)

    Default

    I use a lot of "should " and "shoulds" which some people feel is controlling
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 5 (wings either 4 or 6)?


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

  13. #13
    Bertrand's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    5,896
    Mentioned
    486 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Alioth View Post
    Maybe you're proficient in all the things people bother each other about and you don't know what it's like to be deficient.



    My mantra.
    I guess this means I'm the one doing the judging

    although now that I think about it, maybe its just I don't care about judgements the way other people seem to, which might be a product of introverted perception

    it does seem strange to me that people are like seemingly very perturbed by what other people may be thinking of them. not that I don't worry, but I worry more in terms of the consequences of what they might do and what that might mean for me. their judgements in the air seem more or less meaningless, or if not meaningless, merely personal --between them and them, I don't really feel a part of it

  14. #14
    Spiritual Advisor Hope's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2017
    TIM
    Celestial Sli
    Posts
    3,448
    Mentioned
    415 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    I don't feel judged by them, I don't even notice it until they start to being vocal about it. And why on earth do they feel like being vocal about it? Do they think I care?

    Anyway, IEEs are just vocal when they want to directly disturb/annoy someone. EIIs detach and can talk behind your back or drop hints in casual conversations. I think ESIs (Fi) use their rock face as they pretend being nice in front of others but can barely talk, SEEs can do something similar or simply go and say the stuff in a pretty economical way, Se subtype can become heated and even physical.

    All of them can use evasive maneuvers, thats the only way I notice it without words, in such case I move on forever almost always.

    But Fi leads are not the only types that judge others, I think actually it has little to do with Fi. Thats just part of the stereotype of moral=Fi.
    Fi does it more about relational matters (judging if nice/mean to them, basically).

    The rest of the types judge in matters related to their leading functions.
    Last edited by Hope; 01-30-2018 at 06:12 PM.

  15. #15
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Posts
    1,134
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    I feel like my posts are constantly being scrutinized by Fi types. Idk, maybe for me it's social
    anxiety. Because I'm constantly worried people are judging me, or have a fear of judgement. Posting anything these days gives me anxiety. But I feel like Fe types are easier to brush stuff off. Every word and every sentence and how they relate to it. I usually pay attention to what people like/don't like, and I consider what and how I say something before I say anything, how they are going to react to it. Sometimes this results in extreme filtering, but I take chances too if I feel like it's something I really want to say, even taking the chance it will change someone's attitude towards me. Sometimes I get lax and accidentally offend people. It happened to me badly a week ago. But I feel like once you are 'in' with a Fi type, you are usually in for good , but if they just have decided they aren't going to like you, it's like this huge negative energy I feel like radiating from them, focused on you. But the thing is, I often think, if people arent going to like you for how you really are, what's the point? And as other people have said, why do you care? Why do I care? It's probably some insecurity, I'm not going to go deep into it online. So I'm constantly battling with trying to be myself and appeasing people, trying remain on good terms. Like I don't even like talking politics. It's a No Go Zone for me, online especially.

    I dont feel like its judging, as much as relating. I think there are some basic things that would be rude to most Fi types, but a lot of it feels just relational to me, how much they can relate to you.
    I'm coming to the conclusion that socionics doesn't exist. First I doubted the inter-types, now, for psychological type itself: Some of it may capture certain parts of a person, but then, if I were to say, complete a personality profile for say, eharmony, or even some job interview, then yes that would capture certain parts of me too.

    Edit: Anyway, take out it what you may, I just thought it might be relevant for you since you appear to be concerned about the scrutinizing thing. It's a closed community of people who believe in this stuff.

  16. #16
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Posts
    1,134
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    As for OP, I've been judged by many types - most recently was one who seemed to fairly fit SLE, and before that one who seemed to fairly fit LSI, so I am not sure how to answer your question. I've probably been judged by many people fitting any type at some point. I don't mind of a 'judgement', because people do judge. Some judgements are fair, others are not, and some may help. So you can have positive and negative judgements in that regards. What can be an issue is moving from judgement to condemning.

  17. #17
    Haikus Computer Loser's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Posts
    1,431
    Mentioned
    96 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    To me it feels like I'm being watched from afar, with very little feedback, being silently judged/or admired

  18. #18
    Banned
    Join Date
    Nov 2017
    Posts
    1,134
    Mentioned
    46 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by aster View Post
    Oh, no Scarper. It doesn't have anything to do with that. I'm over that, if that is what you are referring to. I've been having this problem with social anxiety for a while. It just took me a while to notice exactly what was going on since it was like a slow progression, and one day I wokeup and realized that it was worse than I knew.

    As for socionics. I don't think it's completely bunk. I see some of it playing out in the world. Like I'm reading a book right now and this woman that wrote the book seems really ILI to me. But some people seem to 'fit' the types more than others. Some people I feel like make themselves fit. I don't feel like I fit so perfectly, myself. But I think it's interesting, at any rate. I think having some skeptism in anything is good. I find fanatics, or people set in their own opinions terrifying, though. But there are alot of people here that aren't like that.
    Spoiler so as not to take away from the thread. That's all good and people can believe whatever they wish. If you take 'duality' then for it to 'work' it's got to have a bunch of other stuff added on to it: similar intelligence level, similar interests, similar education, they've got to like each other. And - 'Finally, these relations are most suitable for friendship, marriage and family life. To have a Dual partner is irreplaceable if you have to compete or survive in a socially dangerous environment. ' It seems to me that's the ingredient for any relation: things in common and a common goal. Really when it's stripped in that regards, I don't see what 'duality' has to do with it, if so many other things are required to make it tick. Nevertheless, whichever we wish to look at But take you for instance, you appear (to me) to probably fit what's called EII, so, do I like you because of 'socionics', or because I think you are fairly mature and reasonable headed and such things, probably the latter. Anyway, sorry for the de-rail, if it's required you can PM me or reply here if required, but I think you probably got my position


  19. #19
    back for the time being Chae's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Location
    europe
    TIM
    ExFx 3 sx
    Posts
    9,183
    Mentioned
    720 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    I know it when there's an atmosphere of distance, they rub me the wrong way, I feel the shade they try to hide, we're not on the same page. It's about when I can see/feel/hear it in the slightest intonation that deviates from the normal pattern and isn't random. I see it in the body language, too. For instance, I'll check where the eyes and feet point and anchor, how much barrier there is with the arms. What I'm looking for in speech is either critique, neutrality, mixed feelings, or agreement though that's a no-brainer. The reason why I'm judged is always interesting to find out, that's quite a challenge since multiple factors are at play. As a general trend, it's usually when I give factually incorrect information that I am hated. I don't quite get why people are attached to the idea of me being Data. My ethics, on the other hand, were never vulnerable enough, or maybe I did not take the judgement to heart since I'm confident in this area.

  20. #20
    idontgiveaf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Posts
    2,871
    Mentioned
    166 Post(s)
    Tagged
    2 Thread(s)

    Default

    I don't really care if they judge me...because it's just their own feelings not mine lol

  21. #21
    Muddy's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2015
    Posts
    2,800
    Mentioned
    152 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)

    Default

    I rarely feel judged for being unethical even though I couldn't care less about morals and principals. I'm usually pretty well aware of how I'm coming across to other people and usually act to avoid rubbing people the wrong way, unless of course they rub me the wrong way first in which case all bets are off. If I'm being judged by someone rigid/moralistic in the Enneagram 1 sense usually I just tell them to fuck off inside my head and try to disregard them externally.
    Last edited by Muddy; 01-31-2018 at 04:19 PM.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •