Patterns in who you befriend and have relationships with

[Tigerfadder]

To get a friend they have to pick you and you have to pick them, sort of. So it is hard to randomly trying to be friend with someone because they are your dual type, I guess you have to stick around them for long and be friendly. There is always that "wall" that have to torn down mutually for a nice relation to be build.

Anyhow, do you find any pattern of what types you befriend or have relationships with? For me it seem that I attract some gamma quadra people but less of alpha quadra people. But it seem to be purely random from type perspective, it have more to do with similarities and situations.

[Chae]

All of my friends are on the Fi ego side of things. Alpha - only work relationships. Beta: only irrational acquaintances.

[Mr inappropriate]

I can only be friends with people whom I can do fun stuff. Ideally when they start talking, I shoudlnt be bored, but thats asking too much sometimes. No other trend. Because that is what friends are for, mainly.

[epheme]

I've had friends from all quadras/clubs but my few closest friends (who are like family) are all NF's, both Beta and Delta.

[FDG]

only adjacent quadras, i guess longer time friends only with gamma or delta

[Saoirse]

I'm EII. My closest female friends are by-and-large EII. There's an ILI in there, some SEIs, maybe a few singles of other types (SLI, LSI, ESI, IEE), and my mom is SLI, but most of my gal pals, with whom I will be close forever (i.e., not just incidental friends due to being in the same place at the same time for a while), are EII. These are the people with whom I feel permanently merged, despite often not seeing them for months on end.

My closest male friends are not quite as close to me as my closest female friends, though it may just be a difference in style of closeness rather than depth. These are ILIs and LSEs mainly. The ILIs are excellent at putting things into perspective when I'm freaking out about something stupid--my EII friends are more likely to indulge me. The LSEs and I feel like teams, us against the rest of the world.

I generally also like male SLIs, but there is something a bit off between us, on both sides.

LIIs like me a lot, but I am not particularly excited by them (sorry, LIIs--this is just me, it seems, as two of my EII BFFs are in relationships with LIIs).

Overall, I think the main pattern for me is that I have very few close extraverted friends (even my extratim friends are definitely on the less extraverted side...), and I don't care about the wrong Ne+Si vs. Ni+Se preference, but I strongly prefer Fi+Te to Ti+Fe. I.e., I'm really into Deltas and Gammas, but I prefer to appreciate Alphas and Betas from a distance.

[Muddy]

Mirror, identical and benefit seem the most common for friendships imo.

[wasp]

I have an odd admiration for Ne dominant types. EIIs are hit and miss, I never know what they're thinking, it feels like there's a communication barrier between us. SLIs are hilarious people, I don't know if that's a common stereotype or if it's just a commonality between the ones I know personally. IEIs are wonderful people. they can be flighty and ass-kissy and it's hard to get to know the "real" them, but they're generally sweet characters. SLEs either creep the hell outta me or entertain the hell outta me, the two I'm friends with currently are insanely protective of me, in spite of themselves. LSIs are one of my favorite types. LSEs are... I don't even know, ESEs are... there. SEIs are a ball of fun but I've known a couple who were absolutely nuts? grudge-holding psychos, they were. EIEs kinda make me wanna punch myself in the face, but we usually end up close friends. LIIs are something. one of my longest-lasting friendships has been with an LII. I've only known one confirmed LIE and he's alright. communication between us is relatively smooth but he has a temper on him that I don't quite understand, his comments can be quite cutting. I don't know how to pick out ESIs, but I don't think I've ever had a serious problem with one. ILIs are whatever, I got into a weird spat with one yesterday, but I think that's because he's socially retarded, not because he's ILI. I generally don't care for them though. SEEs are pretty great, albeit intimidating at times.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Well, I've just noticed that I am either drawn to on the surface compassionate and caring ppl that are true dirtbags underneathe, or I am into assholes who say things like 'I'm such a jerk' but they are really very nice and humane guys. For some reason I like the duplicitous nature of that. Soft faggy ish guys on the outside that know how to fight, hardened thug str8s on the outside but inside they are mostly all heart.

What I am turned off the most is like... the stereotype of a redneck asshole being well, a redneck asshole or a soft professor predictably running away from a fight. Just not interesting or colorful for me at all. There's no attraction... I like the Fe color, why I got into Buffy so much was because she was this girly girly but had melee physically based super powers.. She was like tough without losing her feminity. I am sooooo not intrigued by like, a tough guy being tough with no sensitivity underneathe. (and they don't like me either)

I really don't have many friends though, just cuz I'm super introverted. But that is basically how I always choose my friends. mb one day I will be friends with a spade that's a spade or whatever, but i don't see it.

[akash]

I like to befriend people who are beneath me socially so there's less unnecessary conflict and I can fuck with them as much as I want without getting indignance. I avoid people who don't tolerate minor abuses because they're no fun. /shadow

I befriend people who are bright-eyed and realistic, who like to make potential in the world, or at least in the conversation they're having. I like people who tell it like it is with no worries of whether I will take offense - because, hey, it's all in good fun.

[Bertrand]

gamma/delta only

I don't trust beta and find alpha annoying. in principle I could have close relationships with alpha but nothing has really come up--the closest has been SEIs but they're more boring than annoying so it usually peters out. I respect LIIs and ILEs but I don't want to spend time with them outside business/academia

barring some extraordinary circumstances, I would never let myself get close to a beta

[niffer]

gamma/delta only

I don't trust beta and find alpha annoying. in principle I could have close relationships with alpha but nothing has really come up--the closest has been SEIs but they're more boring than annoying so it usually peters out. I respect LIIs and ILEs but I don't want to spend time with them outside business/academia

barring some extraordinary circumstances, I would never let myself get close to a beta

what happens if you have a child and he or she is a beta

[Bertrand]

what happens if you have a child and he or she is a beta

theyll love their grandparents

I would also say that would constitute extraordinary circumstances

[Delilah]

Recently, I'm attracting a lot of Alpha NTs and it's a problem.

I'd have preferred ESE out of all Alphas but they seem rare around me.

I'd generally plan for the long term like i take it easy with friendships and it takes more than months for something to come out of it, but frequently the first few moments of it can be so decisive.

[niffer]

theyll love their grandparents

I would also say that would constitute extraordinary circumstances

well you have a 1 in 4 chance. very extraordinary.

[Bertrand]

well you have a 1 in 4 chance. very extraordinary.

is it? that seems to be loaded with assumptions, namely that its random, or that its not linked to heredity, that I wouldn't choose a partner that likewise would confound those odds, that upbringing has nothing to do with it, that ill have children at all, etc. the idea that I have a 1 in 4 chance of having a beta child is actually kind of stupid. anyway Ill cross that bridge when it comes to it

[niffer]

is it? that seems to be loaded with assumptions, namely that its random, or that its not linked to heredity, that I wouldn't choose a partner that likewise would confound those odds, that upbringing has nothing to do with it, that ill have children at all, etc. the idea that I have a 1 in 4 chance of having a beta child is actually kind of stupid. anyway Ill cross that bridge when it comes to it

: ) stupid, or you don't want to think about it?

how exactly would this heritability idea work anyway if it was true? for example, my dad is ILI and my mom is LSE. it's more stupid to not assume it'd be 1 in 4 with the current information available. actually, what's stupid is damning 1/4 of the world's population instead of learning to get along with them better with all the knowledge you have at your disposal now through having learned socionics.

[huiheiwufhawriuhg]

I get drunk and talk to people randomly, then I either end up sleeping with them or being friends with them.

[Adam Strange]

I get drunk and talk to people randomly, then I either end up sleeping with them or being friends with them.

Sounds like a plan. What are you doing Friday night?

[huiheiwufhawriuhg]

Sounds like a plan. What are you doing Friday night?

I'm afraid that this sort of befriending now fully belongs to my EIE.

[Pallas]

gamma/delta only

I don't trust beta and find alpha annoying. in principle I could have close relationships with alpha but nothing has really come up--the closest has been SEIs but they're more boring than annoying so it usually peters out. I respect LIIs and ILEs but I don't want to spend time with them outside business/academia

barring some extraordinary circumstances, I would never let myself get close to a beta

Gets as close to Bertrand as possible

You won't let yourself, but Beta Quadra isn't about letting. Hugs Bertrand

[Bertrand]

Gets as close to Bertrand as possible

stay back witch!

[Pallas]

stay back witch!

Witch? I don't self-type IEI. They should be evicted from Beta anyways, since they're all like this and the rest of us are like this.

[Grendel]

I am fully at the mercy of the potential acquaintance. Were it any different, I wouldn't be here posting on the internet right now.

[DirectorAbbie]

EIIs. Lots of EIIs. I like EIIs and EIIs like me.
Also SLIs (mostly E7, oddly enough) and IEEs, but not as often.
I'm also friendly with neighboring types (mostly the irrationals), but we don't usually go out of our way to be together.

[GuavaDrunk]

Assuming my typings are right, this is a non-exhaustive list of types of people whom I feel *drawn* to be friends/friendly with:

SLE x 3, ILE, IEI x 2, LSI, EIE, LIE (but our bonding mechanisms don't match I suspect, it's confusing. I really like them though.), one unknown (some sort of Si ego... ?), SEI/SLI (but it's not happening, kind of, idk, I decided to stop overthinking it.), etc.

One undecided EIE/IEE, but they're really cool either way anyway.

I'm friendly with more people than in the above list, but there's much less or no draw at all in those cases.

tl;dr: 7.5/12 are Betas.

[The Reality Denialist]

I have hard time at approaching people directly.
What i have found is that ESEs, SEIs and oddly enough some SLEs find me interesting. SLIs and LSIs: they both consider me odd but probably good company (until my supervision kicks in). Some LSIs find my weird pranks very entertaining it is interesting combination of strictness and acceptance of mischievousness.
LIIs are interesting bunch.
EIEl good discussions, hopefully.
IEI it is like when we both are rather spacey it is kind of challenging but sometimes entertaining. Kind of hard to build common understanding.

[Syynth]

My closest friends are an LSI, LIE, two ESEs, and an LII.

So not much of a pattern.

[LuckyOne]

I hava a nice assortment of really close SEIs, SLIs, and IEIs. More casual friends include EIEs, SEE, ESIs and IEEs.

[croww]

(LII?)
The friendships that developed the easiest were with ILEs (my circle of friends is almost exclusively Alpha quadra), some EIIs, but SEIs make great coworkers. I still don't understand how I keep on being attracted by Fi-doms, though.

[dot]

gamma/delta only

I don't trust beta and find alpha annoying. in principle I could have close relationships with alpha but nothing has really come up--the closest has been SEIs but they're more boring than annoying so it usually peters out. I respect LIIs and ILEs but I don't want to spend time with them outside business/academia

barring some extraordinary circumstances, I would never let myself get close to a beta

.

[Bertrand]

I saw you retyped yourself as SLI! If you were an ILI-Ni I would be pretty sure you would love Betas or get along with quite a few of them! One of my best friends is an ILI-Ni.. one of the best and most amazing people I ever met. Love him to bits. I can basically tell him everything.. even my 'beta' sins (he just doesn't understand when my emotions are all over the place and I take unrealistic actions like a mad lady lol).. and actually Gammas have just as many fucked up sins. He has got a few dark secrets too and a somewhat sexual nature as well.. but he told me I was the one who dirtied him lol (everything's just a little bit more on the inside)! We sometimes jokingly say we are twins, lol..

My two closest friends are ILI and SLE.. I had a close ILE friend, but that friendship kind of broke as we are people with very different outlooks on life and we sometimes had a few quarrels.
On my extended list of friends I have friends from every quadra. I obviously am not as close with everyone, but all of them are good people. I currently fight the most with a fellow Beta, an EIE, we live together.. so yeah, we gotta handle each other hehe.

My friends consist of: ILI, SLE, SEEs, EIEs, SEIs, some distant IEE friends, EIIs, some distant ILE friends, ESE, LSE, LII, other IEIs.. I do no meet that many ST people though (I think I consciously only met an LSI once in my life, a friend of my SLE friend).
I had a former roommate who was SLI and I actually realy liked her, but I guess we live too different lives to really have an interest in each other (at least on my side).
Never had ESI or LIE friends though. I guess when I remember who was LIE in my life before, it's weird but I already avoided them back then. My SLE friend's mother is ESI and I like her, I think we got quite a few things in common.. but I do not meet many of them in real life or school.. are they rare or am I just bad at spotting them?

I would say in general i get along with betas, but mainly because I know to keep my distance. I have a feeling they all love me and want to get close to me for varying reasons, but mainly because they don't know anything about socionics or my opinions on their quadra, etc... right now one of my best friends is an ESI and I love her brand of self absorption because it doesn't feel gross it just feels like shes focused in on the important stuff and won't sacrifice that, which I respect, even as other people find it super annoying. I think my two longtime friends that are ILI along with the general bias towards INTJ kind of pushed me in that direction, along with a type 1 urge to self-perfect, but its becoming pretty clear I use Si not Ni according to socionics, I just happen to be pretty well versed in abstract thinking so it can be hard to distinguish until you really get into the deep processes involved... from the outside it looks very similar, but I can see now I'm doing something slightly different which is why I was always kind of an odd duck in my philosophy classes... When I see someone like Jordan Peterson tackle similar issues I feel like he's doing the same thing as me, in general, and its kind of out of step with prevailing modes of thinking/perceiving in academia and I think it comes down to the Si/Te

I think in the same way ILI could overestimate their practicality, I in some ways over estimate the abstractness of my perception. I could see some ILIs being more practical in a colloquial sense, because where you direct yourself is somewhat distinct from how you carry out your goals. I'd say in the case of the ILI, they might take a more strategic and abstract approach to carrying out even simple tasks, whereas with SLI they would have this sort of perceptual bias towards practicality even in carrying out highly abstract tasks. I would say at the highest level it comes down to like valuing Si "condition setting" as an ethic and requiring certain theoretical frameworks to have some kind of "phenomenological touchstone" without which the SLI can't really get onboard with or lacks any real interest in... which is really how I distinguish philosophies, ideas, psychological theories, etc as either true for me ("resonant"--I feel is a very Si way of talking about ideas) or not

I think there's just a pernicious bias that if you talk intelligently and in depth about certain topics you have to be intuitive, but I think in my case, I just resolved to get really good at this stuff, in the same way I like to get really good at anything I take a genuine interest in--a form of "craftsmanship" that I recognize as good when I see/experience it, but its a kind of Si standard I'm setting... even when I have intuitions my goal is to generally concretize them in some way so I can present them as a kind of product (even if its just to myself--I feel like this could be a manifestation of role Ni, in other words the Ni products "come out" as a derivative of the Si/Te process of refinement).. If I can't do that I find them kind of worthless and I let them go. I hang onto the ones that I can work out in a way that meets those Si "goals" that are useful from the point of view of Si--in other words, they have to do something for me in a Si kind of way that ultimately determines if they're real and valued (I can't believe in ideas hanging up entirely "in the air" which is how I particularly perceive beta Ni/Ti)...

If I think in terms of energy, Ne (when its good) excites me and gives me energy, whereas Ni feels like something I just do as needed, it just so happens its needed a lot. I don't like impractical ideas though so it made me to think of Ne as kind of annoying, but its not Ne per se, because there are manifestations of it that really do shake me up in a great way, its just most of them are impractical and need to be disregarded. Te/Fi both get me going too, and I love Si nourishment, just once again it takes on a kind of idiosyncratic character where if you go by stereotypes you would miss it. I feel like if I'm being honest I'd be more compelled by Si incentives than Ni ones, which I took for suggestive Se, but I feel like that's not really it. Its more Si its just sometimes hard to tell whether its the "force" of Se moving you or the "force" of Si, the force of Si is the subjective impression the thing makes on you, which Se is the literal objective pressure, which I would say I'm good at withstanding. In other words, someone who moves on the basis of Si can stand up to a lot of Se pressure, choosing for themselves more or less how they will respond based on their own subjective factors, so it looks like they're not receptive to Se, but they are, they're just resisting it (i've even had an SLE coworker matter of factly tell me I look like I have a lot of constrained power potential, which is not the vibe ILI gives off, and I do think he was making a thinking style statement of fact, it didn't seem like feeling-flattery). Whereas with Ni/Si its like the conceptual force of an intuition can outweigh the subjective impression, but I realize I work in reverse of that, where the subjective "ground" of a thing impells me to deny certain intuitions... I discern between them on the basis of Si, I don't wrap my aesthetics around my intuitions. Rather I want a beautiful theory, not that my theory will be beautiful in virtue of the fact that all the intuitions are in place. Although I think if we're talking about literal perfection then at the highest level the two converge into 100% accurate intuitions and pure beauty, but that is a logical consequence of perfection as a concept and not really useful in day to day where perfection is not really a factor

there's a shitload of ground to cover and I feel like I could go on forever so Ill cut it off there... but to get back on topic, I think this overall works to create a person that betas view as an aesthetic/valuable product that they desire, which is why I feel like they're so grossly sexual because they're always oozing desire for me. I think perhaps if I were "uglier" I wouldn't hate beta as much cause they'd leave me alone.. but if you asked any of my beta coworkers they'd all tell you they love me

I get a lot of this is coming off very Robespierre, but I think it has to do with the medium and the system and so the discourse takes on that form. I feel like I come off very Dreiser under other circumstances conducive to that being the best product, etc. I think this is also how Fe polr sort of works, where like if you do this effectively you don't really need fe. the overall product is a synthesis that obviates the need for it, since its more like you create this tangible-intangible "thing" sometimes that bends fe around it, but in a good way. its a very tactical style approach to fe--i.e. just be loved by all and you can forget about fe; just be a superior product so at all times the conditions are such that fe falls into place without any actual regard for it--creating in essence "true love"

I feel like when freud commented on how "all hearts open to Jung" in jealousy he was percieving this, from the point of view of a jealous Fe type who has to go after directly what Jung got as a "seemingly effortless" (thus envied) byproduct of being who he was (effortless because it was not direct Fe effort--it is actually quite effortful). with all this in mind, I would type Jung as SLI too. to lay it out all this way sounds very ILI but this is just meta cognition not a strategy, I didn't set out to be this way its just who I am... I think its why ISTps are very type 1.. i think this is more a vortical synergetic expression of understanding myself

[niffer]

I form relationships with people from all quadras, but my most resilient IRL friendships have been with gamma extroverts. I grew up in an environment that was lacking in love, and that upfront and blunt gamma extroversion that keeps snapping things back to reality jives well with my worldview, and in combination with Fi which I require a lot of direction with it is just what I need to keep me loyal and make the friendship truly stick.

[Attis]

In childhood I was friends with an ILI, and was "friends" with an LSI, but later realized that he thought I was lame and was barely putting up with me, mostly to borrow my stuff. In preadolescence I was friends with an SEE. I believe my only current friend is LII, though he could also be EII.

[Beautiful sky]

I can never have enough IEE friends. <3

Most of my relationships in the past were with STs istj istp estp and now it's all about the cookie hahahah

Seriously duality is the hardest form of romantic relationship to start and the others are as easy as pie . My duals are negativist don't trust people's good intentions, gotta see it to believe it, no rush no fuss, take your sweet time and let everything pass you by

[Kernel]

EIIs, SLIs and SEIs.
I tend to get along mostly with Si dom, I feel very relaxed with them. And I've yet to meet ESEs and LSEs.
SEIs just seeing them walk you feel relaxed srs! How do they do that?
And the way they talk also, everything about them is relaxing.
The ones I met seem like they'll fall sleep at any moment, with their eyes half closed.
And they seem mysterious, both them and SLIs.

I noticed that I don't get along with types who value Se/Ni. Especially Se ego, for Ni ego types, I've only met an EIE, it was good at first but at the end everything crumbled because of different values I guess.
Types who value Se/Ni come across as very sharp and categorical (even the EIE I know) and I can't even have a normal conversation with them without feeling frustrated.

[Saoirse]

EIIs, SLIs and SEIs.
I tend to get along mostly with Si dom, I feel very relaxed with them. And I've yet to meet ESEs and LSEs.
SEIs just seeing them walk you feel relaxed srs! How do they do that?
And the way they talk also, everything about them is relaxing.
The ones I met seem like they'll fall sleep at any moment, with their eyes half closed.
And they seem mysterious, both them and SLIs.

I noticed that I don't get along with types who value Se/Ni. Especially Se ego, for Ni ego types, I've only met an EIE, it was good at first but at the end everything crumbled because of different values I guess.
Types who value Se/Ni come across as very sharp and categorical (even the EIE I know) and I can't even have a normal conversation with them without feeling frustrated.

What type are you?

[Kernel]

What type are you?

I typed myself as EII (still not sure).

[FDG]

Where I live right now, after 2 years, my closest friends are: ESI, ESI, SLI, IEE, LIE, LIE. So basically result-serious. Rational seems to matter less compared to result.

[ashlesha]

People im closest to:
IEE friend
IEI friend
LSI dad
ESI cousin

So I dunno. Not-alpha. Maybe there's another pattern.