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Thread: Mirror Relations: Stories and Experiences

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    I wonder... is this not only IEE who have this? I can't remember other Ep's having this. IME ESTp's and ENTp's are always happy, ESFp's most of the time, though the ENFp is indeed often different. either happy and ready for fun, or they are very heavy and emotional, depressed etc. I don't like my IEE friend anymore for that reason, to much complaining about feeling stuff.
    could be just IEE as far as getting depressed, but all EP's are erratic, impulsive, and kinda change on a dime. it's due to most of our attention being focused externally, plus irrational, basically letting a lot of things in that fuck with our insides.

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    Ti centric krieger's Avatar
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    The best kind of chess partner you could ever hope to find is one that loses from you, yet keeps playing and enjoys it. ENTps are like that to us.

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    Sauron, The Great Enemy ArchonAlarion's Avatar
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    LOL

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    Quote Originally Posted by Jarno View Post
    I wonder... is this not only IEE who have this? I can't remember other Ep's having this. IME ESTp's and ENTp's are always happy, ESFp's most of the time, though the ENFp is indeed often different. either happy and ready for fun, or they are very heavy and emotional, depressed etc. I don't like my IEE friend anymore for that reason, to much complaining about feeling stuff.
    I've found it to be a general Ep trait, but I would imagine that moodiness afflicts the Fi creatives a bit more, though for different reasons probably...
    I also wonder if gender may play a role in it...
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    wants to be a writer. silverchris9's Avatar
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    I went back and read the OP, and in some ways it sounds a little like the mirror puts too much emphasis on your second and sixth functions, and yes, that is a frequent source of annoyance between mirror partners. I would say that of the four in-quadra relations, that's the one that will tend to have the most problems. I generally like EIEs but sometimes I want them to calm down. And I bet sometimes they want me to be less out-there.
    Not a rule, just a trend.

    IEI. Probably Fe subtype. Pretty sure I'm E4, sexual instinctual type, fairly confident that I'm a 3 wing now, so: IEI-Fe E4w3 sx/so. Considering 3w4 now, but pretty sure that 4 fits the best.

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    ^^^^ I find the most annoying part of the mirror relationship (temperaments aside) is their negligence of the 4th function. It is odd because it corresponds to my 3rd function but yeah I'm like pay A BIT of attention to it. That's probably the thing that jumps out at me with my mirror.

  7. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by silverchris9 View Post
    I went back and read the OP, and in some ways it sounds a little like the mirror puts too much emphasis on your second and sixth functions, and yes, that is a frequent source of annoyance between mirror partners. I would say that of the four in-quadra relations, that's the one that will tend to have the most problems. I generally like EIEs but sometimes I want them to calm down. And I bet sometimes they want me to be less out-there.
    same. My kids' piano teacher is EIE and we relate pretty well but he is over the top and way more intense about things. And louder. And more Fe-in-your-face. He's GREAT in smaller doses. And it's clear we have the same quadra values but.... yeah.
    IEI-Fe 4w3

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    Um... I'm not sure how much this is type-related, but I'm guessing that overall it goes on something like this: The J type thinks the P type is too flakey, and the P type thinks the J type is being too rigid. P type thinks J type is too extreme and harsh on dealing with things, while J type thinks that P type isn't being serious enough. Stuff like that...

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    I love my sister, I love the fe. I love when we talk - it's like really quickly and bouncing around. And I love our almost symmetrical love lives. But she's the most self-involved chick ever, which makes her insensitive which I get hyper sensitive over lol, and I'm like a nonreponsive zombie fuck some of the time. And we fight a lot, but that's beta. Some Fe doms are too much sometimes, or overdramatic EIEs burn me out, there's such a thing as too much drama and too much expression of emotions, it's like I love you but calm the fuck down. A lot of EIEs seem to lack social awareness, which is odd being Fe dom, the overemotionality makes me uncomfortable.
    IEI, sp/sx 4w3.

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    Yeah, I agree with Singularity. My dad is an INFp and I get annoyed with him for not being more strict with my brother. My dad doesn't have a backbone, so my brother takes advantage of him. My brother can get away with anything; he's supposed to go to his AA meetings but instead my dad allows him to use his car to go pick up heroin. It's so annoying that he can be that afraid of conflict.
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    Default Mirror Love

    Is it a good idea? I'm dating an INFp guy and sometimes it's uncomfortable or feels pretty stagnant. I often feel like we have nothing to offer each other in terms of functions. What are some things that can make a mirror relationship more passionate? Are mirrors simply better as friends?
    Last edited by Pierreuse; 01-12-2013 at 09:27 PM.

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    it's not uncommon

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    My knowledge is limited to Socionics theory (i.e. no life experience, hence):

    Mirror Relationships
    There are no obvious zones of the conflict here. The only drawback of the mirror relationships is that partners may consider each other boring. One partner says: “We need to … and it would be good to … ”; the other says: “ It would be good to … and we need to …”, and both feel like their partner is talking about obvious things that should not even be mentioned. “Why talk so much?!” It is possible that the partner has not even said a word, but is simply working on improving something in the area of my first function. And what is there to do? What needs improving? What for? Everything is just fine! These accusations are absolutely mutual. “He is a good guy, but really boring! What is there to discuss, everything is plain and clear! ”

    From - uh - Reinin's Book, I believe.
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    Expectations are not met quite often; say SEE with ESI; ESI wants enterpriser, SEE wants a critic; how will they find it in each other if they are not that way?

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    Quote Originally Posted by ClownsandEntropy View Post
    My knowledge is limited to Socionics theory (i.e. no life experience, hence):

    Mirror Relationships
    There are no obvious zones of the conflict here. The only drawback of the mirror relationships is that partners may consider each other boring. One partner says: “We need to … and it would be good to … ”; the other says: “ It would be good to … and we need to …”, and both feel like their partner is talking about obvious things that should not even be mentioned. “Why talk so much?!” It is possible that the partner has not even said a word, but is simply working on improving something in the area of my first function. And what is there to do? What needs improving? What for? Everything is just fine! These accusations are absolutely mutual. “He is a good guy, but really boring! What is there to discuss, everything is plain and clear! ”

    From - uh - Reinin's Book, I believe.
    Wow. We've had this exact fight pretty much. Again and again. The weird part is he doesn't get as irritated about this as I do. I don't really know what his long-term expectations are.

    I only know of three mirror relationships and they all ended badly though I think everyone's still friends.

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    Come on mirror love, just last the year. Pour a little salt, we were never here. E-I-E-I-E-I-E-I-E-I.

    Maybe being an extrovert (especially Fe-dominant) that's to be expected? For the IEI, they'd be more willing to unplug and drift off somewhere else; or they just don't reveal how they're feeling.
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    A dusty and dreadful charade. Scapegrace's Avatar
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    Non-dual relationships are all shit. They're not worth having. They are soul killing. The end.
    "[Scapegrace,] I don't know how anyone can stand such a sinister and mean individual as you." - Maritsa Darmandzhyan

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    Quote Originally Posted by Scapegrace View Post
    Non-dual relationships are all shit. They're not worth having. They are soul killing. The end.
    My brother is my dual and he's a fucking retard. I have a few duals as friends and they're nice, but obviously I didn't choose them.

    More on mirrors plz.

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    I see a lot of mirror relationships with mixed results. My mom and dad are ISFp and ESFj respectively, and their relationship has seemingly kinda plateaued into "we live in the same house". My aunt/uncle on my mom's side are also ESFj/ISFp but their relationship has been much smoother, at least as it appears to me on the surface.
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    I see a lot of mirror relationships with mixed results. My mom and dad are ISFp and ESFj respectively, and their relationship has seemingly kinda plateaued into "we live in the same house". My aunt/uncle on my mom's side are also ESFj/ISFp but their relationship has been much smoother, at least as it appears to me on the surface.

    If you're uncomfortable around the INFp, then stop dating him. People will always be more than their sociotype.
    "And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it." -Roald Dahl

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    yeah LSI's are pretty dull. That girl in the hunger games movie? Yeah she's pretty, and she checks the "xena warrior princess" box. But still pretty lame to me. They make great room mates, friends, and business partners though, and we share a similar sense of humor which is refreshing.

    I know a lot of my friends in this pairing who've gotten married. Maybe because they get along so well?

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    Quote Originally Posted by DJ Arendee View Post
    yeah LSI's are pretty dull. That girl in the hunger games movie? Yeah she's pretty, and she checks the "xena warrior princess" box. But still pretty lame to me. They make great room mates, friends, and business partners though, and we share a similar sense of humor which is refreshing.

    I know a lot of my friends in this pairing who've gotten married. Maybe because they get along so well?

    Could it be that we sort of roll our eyes at mirrors sometimes because they seem to care too damn much about their creative function (our base) while by our standards they're slacking at it?

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    I could see the initial appeal in a mirror relationship..there's that sort of common thought process going on but if I had to sum this relationship up in a couple words it'd be boring as hell.

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    Mirrors make great best friends and generally give good relatable advice. That I can say for sure. Though, I could see how that spark or fire could be absent from romantic relationships.

    Btw, EIEs are generally not dull by any means... But I could see how they could view IEIs as dull.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fireyed View Post
    Btw, EIEs are generally not dull by any means... But I could see how they could view IEIs as dull.
    I am always amused/appalled when ScarlettLux says "IEIS, WHY WON'T YOU OPEN UP AND ALLOW ME TO FEAST UPON YOUR SOULZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ SDFJHDSFKHSRT9M8SE7C9P;78WE459WE4759P87S4C5P9SE4N7 4UY". The fucking temerity of some people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Fireyed View Post
    Mirrors make great best friends and generally give good relatable advice. That I can say for sure. Though, I could see how that spark or fire could be absent from romantic relationships.

    Btw, EIEs are generally not dull by any means... But I could see how they could view IEIs as dull.
    IEIs are actually really fun when they're amused. I notice they come out of their shells a lot around extroverts. When we were with an SLE and ILE mine was just as active as they were. -I- was the quiet one then, lol, and he basically forced me to get away from my tablet and "join the group." Pretty cute.
    Dandelion Fluff Upon a Spoon

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    Haikus Beautiful sky's Avatar
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    Default Mirror relations and lack of passion

    Mirror relations are said to have a "lack of passion." What does this mean?

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    You know when you've got passion? It's when that doesn't happen.

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    So this is all sexual? Flirty?

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    Like the ability to connect on an intellectual/social level but no real romantic feelings for?
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    passion isn't necessarily sexual. you can be intellectually or socially passionate. i think lack of passion would be apathy or boredom.

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    I get pretty intellectually passionate with my ILE mirror. We design board games in our mind. Weeeeeee!
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    i suppose if its taken from a russian translation it could have very well been referring to sexual passion. who knows. i wouldn't describe my mirrors as boring but they're sees.

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    I could see that. Not the same passion that you'd get from a dual or semi dual... if that would make sense. Mirrors make really good friends, though.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

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    I have a good INFj friend, we get along quite well. I think mirror relationships are great for friendships. INFjs are particularly trustworthy and honest people. I get somewhat lethargic and pulled into a vortex of "serious emotions" if I'm around them too long, though, but I can't help but like them in general.

    Compared to duals? No contest. The dual relationship is far more exciting, interesting and balanced. Mirror relationships kind of flatline.

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    Default How do you find mirror relations?

    I know of several mirror couples that seem very happy.
    Overall, I think mirror are good relations but can be a bit weird as I find the ISFp thinking I am a little careless or rushed.
    No ISFp has ever said this to me but I suspect they are thinking: "calm down", "plan better", "you are late".
    Also the slow methodical nature of the ISFp seems unnecessary. In my case with the ISFp its an issue of how to use Si.

    How do you find Mirror Relations?

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    I think they are very good, easily the 3rd or 2nd best relationship. Many of my good friends have been ILEs. They can also be a bit frustrating since partners' long-term, deeper goals are somewhat different. So in the best case they are good but in the worst case (which is more rare) you can have some nasty conflicts, probably more so than any other in-quadra relationship.

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    Very relaxing actually, mutual strengthening of each other's views.

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    I was friends with an ESFp for seven years (we know each other for 12 years).


    I liked her a lot when she was quiet and really kind. I needed someone who was more confident than me, but when I stopped to behave like a doormat our friendship fell apart really quickly.


    I'm not an ILI who is ok with a secondary position under the wing of the SEE.
    When a think that I'm being treated unfairly or with blatant disrespect I show resistance but because ESI are ok with winning from a moral perspective, the SEE need their opponent to back down completely (and to apologise for not accepting SEE's authority!).


    They don't stop until they've won and would act in ways that I would never permit myself. As soon as all conflicts are over SEE usually try to reconcile by being charming, giving much attention or making everything into a cruel joke


    Also the ESFp I know love to brag. They love attention and while I don't see anything wrong with that I'm tired of it.
    From an Fi-leading perspective they only think about themselves and how they can get more attention and influence. They make others accomplishments seem small, are prone to jealousy and drama when they feel that their own moral-standards (which I find childish and underdeveloped) are not met. They allow themselves everything and never admit ethical mistakes. They are only fair when it suits them.


    Obviously not all ESFp are like that and my own leading function makes me biased.


    But I find Fi-creative scary; It bends "the rules" (my own standards) and draws quick conclusions about things I would think over in detail.
    Like considering multiple perspectives; my own feelings, others intentions,... , and if I have the right to judge.

    SEE don't do that but they are more forgiving and have more people who like them because of that (and their optimistic and lively nature).


    I would still make friends with ESFps though. They're fun to be around and most of the time their intentions are good. They express themselves differently and I think that helps me to not claim the moral high ground everytime.

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