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Thread: What do ESIs find attractive/interesting in people?

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    Default What do ESIs find attractive/interesting in people?

    The two terms attractive and interesting seem to have a wide gap in mind of ESI. they can even say someone has an interesting character whom they dislike or they might share with close people, their judgement about a person's character immediately after seeing them(even judge people's character by their photos).

    They find people who are independent in thought to be interesting, being SF though, they find many people interesting but very few attractive therefor they have a small circle of friends but know many people since at the large distance they keep with people, they are liked by most people and viewed as polite.

    Se seems to notice details about a person,the gestures, their voice tone, their movements, the way they walk, which is odd, since the LIE has a very specific bouncy gait and very specific ways of expressing themselves in movements, while LIE is also a bit awkward, lacking Si, totally detached from oneself.
    And stereotypical gender-based attractive attributes in people seems not to be of much importance for them.

    So what are your thoughts and experiences?

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    For me personally:

    Anyone who is willing to challenge a set of collective consciousness, someone who isn't another sheep among sheep. Someone who changes the direction the sheep move in.

    Someone who will admit they will/may cause offense but stick to their guns. Especially with humor. I love Stephen Lynch songs because he is honest he will cause offense but rolls with the songs. A former friend used to rage at me for randomly going in to 'song mode' singing Stephen Lynch songs at random.

    Someone who finds awesomeness in Murphy's Law.

    Someone who is emotionally healthy and can explain why something might make them emotionally unhealthy, and how to change that so they stay healthy.

    Someone who values the truth over everything else, and isn't afraid to say the truth. I'd rather hear the truth over some sugar coated cereal bowl turd.

    Someone who can giggle at The Daily Mash with me.

    Oh and uh, in men, someone who just is "the man" and can joke with me about over the top manly man humor.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mintwind View Post
    Someone who changes the direction the sheep move in.
    yeah well that is basically LIE shouting on the streets EUREKA! EUREKA! as we find the reason and facts behind beliefs and mistakes
    Quote Originally Posted by mintwind View Post
    Someone who will admit they will/may cause offense but stick to their guns. Especially with humor.
    basically LIE trait again. and people get offended by this usually
    Quote Originally Posted by mintwind View Post
    Someone who finds awesomeness in Murphy's Law.
    who doesn't??

    Quote Originally Posted by mintwind View Post
    Someone who is emotionally healthy and can explain why something might make them emotionally unhealthy, and how to change that so they stay healthy.
    I don't know what you mean by emotionally healthy exactly and don't know if I am, but this is a very detailed attribute in someone's character, I think it relates to Ni and being positivist, since you know the future impacts your current atmosphere has on you, you know it is not forever, and you know how to change it in order to have desired future outcomes.

    Quote Originally Posted by mintwind View Post
    Someone who values the truth over everything else, and isn't afraid to say the truth. I'd rather hear the truth over some sugar coated cereal bowl turd.
    This is related to Te but I usually try to be softer with Fi-dominants since I fear being too direct will hurt them and distance them from me, usually ESIs distance themselves and sulk instead of saying what has hurt/offended them and that is torture, TORTURE ,don't do that!

    Quote Originally Posted by mintwind View Post
    Someone who can giggle at The Daily Mash with me.
    what is it with ESIs and reading news and giggling/sighing at it constantly??

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    I think you are right about the Ni and health. I can't stand it when people stay in bad situations or don't try to change their circumstances for whatever reason if it isn't working for them because "that's just how it is" or "it is what it is", that sort of attitude annoys me. I don't understand why people wouldn't want to make the most of their time alive and do everything they can to live life to the fullest. Live and make impact on the world I say!

    I tend to speak up when I am upset but that's just me. I can't speak for other ESI.

    For me the news is funny because I know they're hyper exaggerating it to grab people's attention, and it isn't always as bad as they make it out to be. The Daily Mash is satire humor so it emphasizes that.

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    School, physics class: A LIE didn't do his homework so our teacher(<- rude!) held a monologue about his future and how LIE should not continue to disregard his studies.
    LIE looked unaffected and replied with: "You don't have to be so personal."


    This seems small but a model-student-ESI who takes blame and disrespect from everyone will certainly be surprised.
    He was always invisible to me (I saw him as a douche) but not in that moment.
    (he continued to be invisible until I accidentally punched him in the face on our prom.)


    so what I find attractive: people who...


    - think for themselves and are not blinded by authority, titles and rules
    - don't lose their cool/stay optimistic
    - are hidden romantics and get those big childlike eyes when genuinely excited
    - read much (important!!) and are know-it-all's but correct themselves when they where wrong and want to know how to make things better
    - like to get in contact with people and can talk to anyone (even mistrustful ESI's)
    - have a kind heart
    - Assure you that you can always ask them for help/counsel
    - work and have a passion or vision for their future
    (I don't have wishes or "visions" for the future because live is just to unpredictable. But watching how someone is working for his or her goals is inspiring. I want to help and be the loyal friend who stays when things go bad...)
    - don't talk badly about other people behind their back
    - are realistic about money, capitalism, job market (/don't go to university to study useless sh##)


    - Give me a feeling of security, are there when I need them and keep promisses
    - Don't have hidden plans that can get me in trouble
    - Don't abuse my trust and hard work
    - Don't lie in my face just because they know they can
    - Don't try to buy or manipulate me with stupid gifts

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    Quote Originally Posted by Horatio View Post
    School, physics class: A LIE didn't do his homework so our teacher(<- rude!) held a monologue about his future and how LIE should not continue to disregard his studies.
    LIE looked unaffected and replied with: "You don't have to be so personal."


    This seems small but a model-student-ESI who takes blame and disrespect from everyone will certainly be surprised.
    He was always invisible to me (I saw him as a douche) but not in that moment.
    (he continued to be invisible until I accidentally punched him in the face on our prom.)


    so what I find attractive: people who...


    - think for themselves and are not blinded by authority, titles and rules
    - don't lose their cool/stay optimistic
    - are hidden romantics and get those big childlike eyes when genuinely excited
    - read much (important!!) and are know-it-all's but correct themselves when they where wrong and want to know how to make things better
    - like to get in contact with people and can talk to anyone (even mistrustful ESI's)
    - have a kind heart
    - Assure you that you can always ask them for help/counsel
    - work and have a passion or vision for their future
    (I don't have wishes or "visions" for the future because live is just to unpredictable. But watching how someone is working for his or her goals is inspiring. I want to help and be the loyal friend who stays when things go bad...)
    - don't talk badly about other people behind their back
    - are realistic about money, capitalism, job market (/don't go to university to study useless sh##)


    - Give me a feeling of security, are there when I need them and keep promisses
    - Don't have hidden plans that can get me in trouble
    - Don't abuse my trust and hard work
    - Don't lie in my face just because they know they can
    - Don't try to buy or manipulate me with stupid gifts
    wow such an ESI observation in physics class!

    I am all the above except I am a bit lazier than the person described. Lazy by my own standards maybe
    How does one inspire and motivate you guys?? I ALWAYS have a vision of the future, I'd DIE if I didn't have it. no matter how small, I should always be improving. in my depressed states i learn a new language, read, etc.
    LIEs also apparently have these states in which they aren't where they imagined they would be or have feelings they don't understand, and they disappear. we disappear in our Ni world and go read and read and read until we feel better, then we come out of our caves and make plans again,make new friends! funny sometimes

    Welcome to the forum by the way, new ESI (:
    Last edited by Zero; 01-06-2017 at 07:45 PM.

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    since so few people have replied to this thread I assume the overall ESI response is "if you have to ask for it, you don't deserve it". I can imagine an ESI saying that

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    Quote Originally Posted by mintwind View Post
    I think you are right about the Ni and health. I can't stand it when people stay in bad situations or don't try to change their circumstances for whatever reason if it isn't working for them because "that's just how it is" or "it is what it is", that sort of attitude annoys me. I don't understand why people wouldn't want to make the most of their time alive and do everything they can to live life to the fullest. Live and make impact on the world I say!

    I tend to speak up when I am upset but that's just me. I can't speak for other ESI.

    For me the news is funny because I know they're hyper exaggerating it to grab people's attention, and it isn't always as bad as they make it out to be. The Daily Mash is satire humor so it emphasizes that.
    I don't know but usually the ESIs I have met, can stay in one bad state for long time and need some motivation to get out of it, possibly by a dynamic type like LIE or LSE. but they really appreciate the person who comes and grabs them out of their cave, or at least it seems they do. they don't talk about their appreciation, they don't come to you and say "i appreciate what you did" they DO something in return. I do both. i say and also do something.
    sometimes they speak up when they're upset, sometimes they disappear, sulk for days and either talk about it later or not at all.
    i agree with you about news. it is Fe. funny to me. I never appreciated Fe much

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    ESIs like DICs:

    Drive + Intelligence + Competence

    Well, and someone being a "Visionary" – someone who has a particular vision for/of their and/or other people's future.
    But that didn't fit too well into my neat acronym.
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheHiddenJack View Post
    I don't know but usually the ESIs I have met, can stay in one bad state for long time and need some motivation to get out of it, possibly by a dynamic type like LIE or LSE. but they really appreciate the person who comes and grabs them out of their cave, or at least it seems they do. they don't talk about their appreciation, they don't come to you and say "i appreciate what you did" they DO something in return. I do both. i say and also do something.
    sometimes they speak up when they're upset, sometimes they disappear, sulk for days and either talk about it later or not at all.
    i agree with you about news. it is Fe. funny to me. I never appreciated Fe much
    For me if someone helps me out of my cave, I'll move a mountain for you in return if I really like you. And verbally show appreciation, but I personally get chatty around people I like, and hyper. Is Words of Affirmation one of your love languages? Have you ever taken a love language test?

    But I know sometimes I fall in to a cave and if I'm told things I'm appreciated for along with silly humor, it is pretty easy to pull me out. The more I laugh the more things get done well in life, it fuels me. Along with coffee.

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    Quote Originally Posted by mintwind View Post
    For me if someone helps me out of my cave, I'll move a mountain for you in return if I really like you. And verbally show appreciation, but I personally get chatty around people I like, and hyper. Is Words of Affirmation one of your love languages? Have you ever taken a love language test?

    But I know sometimes I fall in to a cave and if I'm told things I'm appreciated for along with silly humor, it is pretty easy to pull me out. The more I laugh the more things get done well in life, it fuels me. Along with coffee.
    I think sometimes I pull ESI out of their cave without realizing it.I think sometimes when I appreciate and compliment ESIs they freak out
    I don't know my love language are there any tests worth taking?
    I do see that you guys get chatty and hyper around people you like for sure
    so laughter fuels ESI and coffee, things to learn

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheHiddenJack View Post
    I think sometimes I pull ESI out of their cave without realizing it.I think sometimes when I appreciate and compliment ESIs they freak out
    I don't know my love language are there any tests worth taking?
    I do see that you guys get chatty and hyper around people you like for sure
    so laughter fuels ESI and coffee, things to learn
    Well laughter definitely gets me going. Playing computer games with me helps. And anyone who fetches me a coffee or brings home chocolate covered coffee beans is forever loved. I can't speak for all ESI though, I mean we are all different people with different socioeconomic backgrounds and interests. We all have different love languages and needs. I mean I love being smothered in affection, I'm a cuddle bug, and I love being told I'm loved/words of affirmation. Some might not all be like that. It is all about finding the ESI that resonates with you and compliments the greater picture for what you want in life. I've found this love language test to be pretty good: http://www.beliefnet.com/love-family...ages-quiz.aspx

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheHiddenJack View Post
    wow such an ESI observation in physics class!

    I am all the above except I am a bit lazier than the person described. Lazy by my own standards maybe
    How does one inspire and motivate you guys?? I ALWAYS have a vision of the future, I'd DIE if I didn't have it. no matter how small, I should always be improving. in my depressed states i learn a new language, read, etc.
    LIEs also apparently have these states in which they aren't where they imagined they would be or have feelings they don't understand, and they disappear. we disappear in our Ni world and go read and read and read until we feel better, then we come out of our caves and make plans again,make new friends! funny sometimes

    Welcome to the forum by the way, new ESI (:
    Thank you that's good to know!

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    I can't speak for all ESI's but I don't have dreams or visions. I have plans.
    Basically in primary school I figured that we live in capitalism and if I study well, get a Job and don't take risks I can pay my rent and live my minimalist peaceful life ( somewhere next to a forest!).


    We doubt our abilities (Ne-Polr) , but we can offer hard work and endurance...for ourselves or someone who's worth it.


    And then there are LIE. Behind that Se-Hidden-Agenda they are basically huge nerds - like me.
    We can talk about all that stuff most people don't want to talk about : how the brain works, cognitive science, computer science, books like "thinking fast and slow" and philosophy etc.

    So there is this walking brain that switches from business man to silly kid with silly jokes and has mild paranoia about illnesses
    and he can try to run through a wall, crash, get up and still be optimistic about it.
    Of course that is exaggerated ( and you LIE can be so vulnerable - I love that side)
    if it's bad it can take a while but you will get up again. I don't understand from where you LIE get the energy but it's contagious.


    For me it's like watching a protagonist/hero on his journey. I want the LIE to succeed. I want to be of help and that the people I care about achieve what they want (or that they are just happy. That's when I'm at my best. You are my friend and want help? I will kick that wall over. I'll find a a way. It's my job.)
    For someone who sees everything as unpredictable I want to see at least someone who works hard and defies the odds.


    Also LIE are to restless to give ESI time to worry.
    (My friends say: If you give her time to think she'll say no. )
    When we're doubtful or cold you shake us up.


    Sidenote: when an ESI finds someone who is worth the effort they can become very vulnerable to that person. That means when things go wrong and the ESI gets the blame and feels guilty - that's when we're at our worst.

    I hope that was informative. It sounds very idealistic, I know. But I mean it.
    Last edited by Cosmic Teapot; 01-06-2017 at 10:56 PM. Reason: spelling

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    Quote Originally Posted by TheHiddenJack View Post
    since so few people have replied to this thread I assume the overall ESI response is "if you have to ask for it, you don't deserve it". I can imagine an ESI saying that
    Hmm. Well I tend to do things for people behind the scenes if I think they really don't know what they're doing. But nothing bad. Here's an example...Mom doesn't understand computers and is very frugal so I'm pretty sure anything new she buys won't really work out well for her in the long run. So I take my other laptop, spend the whole night setting it up for her and keep Windows 7 (she prefers Win 7) on because I know she won't be gaming (you need to upgrade for Direct X now damn Microsoft), and give it to her the next day. Everything is set up properly and I optimized the laptop to be better than anything she said she was going to get in her price range (the hardware and everything is still real good on this laptop). What upset me though was I put ad block on... She logs in to Facebook and says "It isn't working" and I ask "What do you mean" and she goes "Things aren't popping up like they should". And that was the last thing she says. No gratitude at all. Not even trying to understand, she just assumed I didn't know what I was doing when I did. I think I'd rather get punched in the face than have something like that happen. LOL

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    This thread sounds like young people. Abort abort.

    (I'm old...& I only value brutal honesty).

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