SEI and LIE conflict relations (ISFp and ENTj)

[Zero]

I don't quite understand why I would be in conflict relations with this type. Do you guys have any examples/experience/articles/explanations on the matter?

[Adam Strange]

I'm not big on theory, so I'll just give some subjective examples.

Have you met any SEI's IRL? Conflict can be a funny thing. They say it is possible to mistake your conflictor for your dual (at a distance), and I can vouch for that. I work with two SEI women. One is SEI-Fe, and the other is SEI-Se, and they are quite different from each other.

Silke said: SEI's they are either very normal/witty/dynamic (Fe subtype) or kind of laggish, intelligent, and sensual (the Si subtype)

Just for the record, I'm LIE-Te. I do not like to be around the SEI-Si, and it is more than mutual. OTOH, I rely on the SEI-Fe for reliable information and she keeps the daily schedules and ordering straight, and on good days, I can ask for her opinion on things that relate to popular opinion (she's much more in tune with this than I am), as long as I keep the convo brief and never go more than one step into her office, because I can tell that I wear on her. She's bright and friendly, we make each other laugh, but I make it a point to keep a psychological distance to keep from wearing out her tolerance for conflictors.

Regarding the SEI-Se, when I first discovered Socionics, I was confused about the J/p switch from MBTI, and when she got the result of ISFJ on an online test, I told her, "Guess what? Who do you think is your dual?" She gave me a look that dripped condescension and disdain and said "You?", as if that wasn't possible in a million years. Her response totally made my day, and it points out how some people intrinsically know whom they do and don't like, and some don't.
Since then, I've noticed that she rejoices when I make a mistake and makes sure that everyone knows about it immediately . She also once was kind of boxed into giving me a very short ride to the Christmas party, and she gave me the impression that I was polluting her car by sitting in it.
My feelings about her are basically that she does a good job in coordinating events, and I don't go out of my way to interact with her, and she's probably fine with that.

OTOH, I make it a point to say Hi to the SEI-Fe first thing every morning. She is tall, slender, smart, conscientious in her work, dresses in bold and tasteful colors, has good judgement and is very pleasant to be around, which is how I have found ESI's to be IRL. (Although the ESI-Se's dress more colorfully, and the ESI-Fi's are more nesters - they dress in more subdued colors.) I actually like the SEI-Fe a lot, but when I've tried to talk to her at length, I can see that she finds what I say to be horrible in some undefined way. She is pretty tolerant, but I still limit my exposure to her. When we are just goofing around, her Fe smile reaches like 30%, but I've walked in on her when she was talking to the male ILE, and her Fe smile is dazzling at those times.

Incidentally, even though we are conflictors, she tolerates me better than she tolerates some other types. I think this is true in general. Conflictors have some things about them which are mutually very admirable. She likes to listen to new ideas, and when I told her that I was dating a Mirage partner, she asked who her Mirage partner was. I told her it was the SLE-Se who works here. I asked her if she could imagine having dinner with him, and she recoiled, wrapped her arms around her shoulders, and said "I might have to get violent."

Now, why these interactions take the exact form they do, I don't know. But I can say that conflict as a relationship type is real; it exists.

[Zero]

I know one SEI whom I do not understand AT ALL. Like she is an alien to me. From another planet. And in gatherigs where I usually talk to everyone and gather attention and likes, she sits somewhere in the group obnoxiously, I feel like she is judging me and evaluating my behaviour in a way I don't understand, and is ready to tell about my flaws to my fans

[Pallas]

I know one SEI whom I do not understand AT ALL. Like she is an alien to me. From another planet. And in gatherigs where I usually talk to everyone and gather attention and likes, she sits somewhere in the group obnoxiously, I feel like she is judging me and evaluating my behaviour in a way I don't understand, and is ready to tell about my flaws to my fans

Your conflictor is from another planet. Someone finally got it.

[Zero]

This is the most common match for conflict I've seen. Typically the Sei (always a 9) relaxes and supports the LIE. I know 3 SEI LIE couples and they all seem quite content. In the case of the LIE e8 the SEI is seen as very trustworthy and reliable. The e3 LIE is with his SEI because she is quite lovely and he makes no secret of his attraction to her.

FWIW trump and his wife are lie and sei. He's an e8...not sure her enneagram. That's his longest relationship and seems to be working for them.

Trump is SLE and if you know compatible couples who are SEI and LIE you have either typed them incorrectly or socionics is not true

[totalize]

Look, if you really devalue something, then relations with a person who really values that thing will be poor ceteris paribus. That doesn't mean that every person you meet who values that thing is some kind of massive enemy. It just means you're clashing with them more than you would if they didn't value something totally different to you.

[lemontrees]

If I typed correctly I may have admired several LIEs from afar, particularly for their farsightedness and the fact they can come off as pretty intellectual.

This one time recently though I had just a gut negative reaction. I was in an airport, and this woman was going around enthusiastically helping everyone. And I just felt... that she was too bossy, wouldn't know when to stop, too energetic... that you would never be able to feel peace or quiet around her, and that I wanted to get away to feel more "okay." And I felt that immediately, and only typed her as LIE later when we actually interacted. She seemed nice though.

[Suz]

If I typed correctly I may have admired several LIEs from afar, particularly for their farsightedness and the fact they can come off as pretty intellectual.

This one time recently though I had just a gut negative reaction. I was in an airport, and this woman was going around enthusiastically helping everyone. And I just felt... that she was too bossy, wouldn't know when to stop, too energetic... that you would never be able to feel peace or quiet around her, and that I wanted to get away to feel more "okay." And I felt that immediately, and only typed her as LIE later when we actually interacted. She seemed nice though.

I had a recent similar experience with a person I have been thinking might be LIE too (I have zero confidence on my typing skills tho ), on a 10-day group tour I just took. We were kind of assigned to be roommates sometimes, since we were both traveling solo. At first she seemed ok, but I quickly found her to be quite bossy, with things she would say often rubbing me the wrong way, and even though she could be taken as being helpful (and maybe that was her intention), I felt like she was scrutinizing and judging me. There was also kind of a mutual repellant dynamic in which we didn't find much of a common language so we didn't have much to really talk about, so we kind of ended up gravitating away from each other. She seemed to really hit it off with another girl who was also traveling solo and they (especially the supposed LIE) made kind of a subtly obvious show that I wasn't welcome with their little clique (or maybe it just felt that way to me). About halfway into my trip much to my relief, she and the other girl decided they would room together the rest of the trip. I had hoped that would happen, actually, but I didn't want to be the one to suggest it, because I didn't want to deny any of them the opportunity to have a room all to themselves. Them suggesting it made it a win-win situation!

[Suz]

This is the most common match for conflict I've seen. Typically the Sei (always a 9) relaxes and supports the LIE. I know 3 SEI LIE couples and they all seem quite content. In the case of the LIE e8 the SEI is seen as very trustworthy and reliable. The e3 LIE is with his SEI because she is quite lovely and he makes no secret of his attraction to her.

FWIW trump and his wife are lie and sei. He's an e8...not sure her enneagram. That's his longest relationship and seems to be working for them.

Really? You think Melania is SEI??? She seems j to me.

[The Reality Denialist]

It would be nice to know what happens in conflictor’s heads.

All I know is that SEI laugh at my slam. Like: going to handle that next year (something minuscule). Degrading goals in context of development through some absurdity etc. Giving funny counter arguments to specialist's views. I think this is an area where LIE is super serious.
ESI seems to be be just clueless because LIEs do not do that.


Yeah, Melania is not SEI. Does not have that seeking look that says show me something weird (is about to have a huge grin). (hard to describe)

[Suz]

Trump is SLE and if you know compatible couples who are SEI and LIE you have either typed them incorrectly or socionics is not true

It's not inconceivable that they could be an incompatible type though. I get the sense they don't spend much time together.
However, I think she is happy with being married to wealth & power (which is not SEI-like, to my understanding), and all he needs from the relationship is her trophy wife looks & meek demeanor, consistent with his narcissistic personality disorder (NTR).

[Pookie]

I have two coworkers like this, theyll talk and laugh and Sei will say something like youre pleasant and theyll walk away, but under her breath she'll whisper, hes not that pleasant and the Lie will walk back and say pleasant? Howd she get that idea?

[replica]

I have two sisters, one is LIE, the other is SEI. The SEI laughs at everything, and is generally bubbly and good natured. The LIE scowls most of the time.

[Hot Scalding Gayser]

Well um it's kind of obvious. One is too gay and nice (SEI) the other is too str8 and mean (LIE) and often those types of people don't get along well, it's like oil and water. Or two other ... clash-y things. You see a lot of serious hatred between liberals and conservatives and actually the SEI-LIE conflict reminds me of this. I know it's not *that* simple but actually it also kind of is.

Don't underestimate a SEI in battle though. Very effective @ manipulating others, and blaringly powerful aoe magic spells. The LIE just wants to cut up one thing at a time for its own amusement, so better single target physical damage. =D

[Suz]

I have two coworkers like this, theyll talk and laugh and Sei will say something like youre pleasant and theyll walk away, but under her breath she'll whisper, hes not that pleasant and the Lie will walk back and say pleasant? Howd she get that idea?

this is awesome, you must have a lot of amusement at work! lol