Questioning my Type

[Raver]

I've had myself typed as IEE for quite a while now. It's about 11 years roughly and I was usually quite confident about it that I didn't question that often. Maybe a few times I tried out other types like ILI, but in the end I realized it didn't fit me so I ended up switching back. Anyways, I'm questioning my type because there is one recurring theme that is constantly at odds with how other people view me and it's my extroversion. Anyone who meets for the first time or knows me decently has seen me as someone who is quiet or introverted.

I usually chalked that up to shyness and/or anxiety, but as I have gotten older my shyness/anxiety has been reduced to reasonable levels, but I still don't see myself as someone who is highly energized by the outside world or anything resembling a social butterfly. I do enjoy socializing of course like any other person, but it's in a more restrained and limited manner than an extrovert would. I also don't really reveal my full personality to strangers or acquaintances, but rather to close friends or relatives where I can be myself for the most part.

In the past, I was afraid to be social, but now it's more of an indifference to socializing if that makes sense. I'd be perfectly fine sitting with a group of people and not saying a word or very little, but if I had to talk in a group if I was forced to talk a lot or reasonably then I wouldn't really mind to either as I wouldn't be shy about it, but it's not something that I wouldn't want to do often.

I think the reason that I've been mistyped as IEE for so long is because my actual type is not completely different or polar opposite to an IEE. I am starting to suspect that I'm actually an EII based on how I generally behave in public. I'm leaning towards Ne-EII significantly over Fi-EII as I can relate to Ne-EII Socionics descriptions far more than Fi-EII, which seems almost alien to me. The reason I have always been opposed to EII as a typing is because I never truly saw myself as a rational type.

I tend to be disorganized and a chronic procrastinator. I'm not the most disorganized person in the world, but I'm not the most organized either. I can also be quite impulsive at times with my behavior, but I find it's usually an internal struggle where I have this desire for order and symmetry in my life, but sometimes my impulses get the better of me where I do something chaotic and perhaps something that isn't necessarily a good idea or good for me, but I usually feel guilty about it and then fall back into place.

Perhaps, this could be explained by the fact that an Ne-EII would far more loose or prone to chaotic behavior than an Fi-EII despite the fact that both are rational types. People I've met in real life from this forum have said that I don't seem like a typical IEE, almost too introverted or calm for one. One of them even typed me as LII, which I still don't see fitting me at all, but it would make the case for EII stronger because EII could be confused for LII, but an IEE being confused for an LII just seems like too much of a difference.

I also don't think SLIs are my duals. I get along with them great and can have great conversations with them about almost anything, but we run into conflict sometimes. As for LSEs, my contact with LSEs have been limited for the most part, but they're usually positive. I feel I get along a lot better with Si-LSEs over Te-LSEs, but that would make sense given that I'm a possible Ne-EII. I'm not sure what else to say about this, how I come across online is kind of almost irrelevant to be honest, but I don't think it's completely useless.

I just think that any introvert can easily pass as an extrovert online just like any introvert can appear extroverted to family members, but the truth is revealed in how people interact in real life with strangers. My interaction with other IEEs has always been revealing in that we are very similar in how we behave, we are on the same page with how we think, but almost every single IEE I've met is more talkative and outgoing than I am. Sure, I could possibly be one of the most shyest and homebody IEE and it's not impossible, but I'm starting to think that simply being an EII just makes more sense.

Finally, I can totally buy as my PoLR. My for the majority of my life has been pretty damn awful and I just chalked it up to the fact that is weak for IEEs too, but my I think is almost too weak even for an IEE. The funny thing is that only recently I've felt that I've gotten a lot better at controlling and using function, which took a lot of effort and training on my part. It's gotten good enough that I can function in every day life with the majority people without much problems.

The only reason it improved so much recently is because the environment that I've been exposed to has forced that to happen. However, prior to that it was always a struggle to use my and I'm just happy that I can use it in a mediocre way now instead of it just being completely awful. I'm curious to hear all of your thoughts on this. Other EIIs and IEEs particularly could chime in on their opinion on what type fits me, but I want to know everyone's opinion on this too. Please vote and/or post your thoughts on this. @Maritsa, I'm curious to hear what you think my type is most likely to be as the most prominent EII in this forum.

[Raver]

What do you think my type is @Eliza Thomason?

[Eliza Thomason]

@Raver, I don't rule out EII for you. I do sort of get a Delta vibe. Consider SLI, too. Look at Model A's for all the types you are considering. See where Se is in your SLI Model A, and see if that is how you use Se, for example (and also EII, and IEE, and anything else you have considered). But I will think about this and if something comes to mind I will share it.

[Beautiful sky]

Hi Raver,

What feelings do you get when you watch scenes of violent depiction? A fight, ect Does it make you uncomfortable? What happens to you and how do you react?

[Eliza Thomason]

What do you think my type is @Eliza Thomason?

You must have written this as I was typing the other! Then I went out to Home Depot and did not see it.

I will admit my first guess is SLI. Sometimes, more than half the time, when I have a specific guess like that, it turns out to be right. I just wasn't ready for a "final answer" on that yet. Sometimes I can force a "sureness" about type by doing all kinds of research into the various types I have an idea of for the person, as well as the types the person is considering for him/herself, which usually includes asking the person questions on this research. Since that's a sort of puzzle that I enjoy, I actually started that effort today with about a dozen tabs open (a strain on my old computer) and then I didn't have time to read them. I bookmarked them and when I have more time I will enjoy the puzzle. Its the type of thing I like to make time for, except that right now I must jump on any good days left to finish outdoor painting and also we are in the midst of a change in my mom's care; its going to get easier when we settle in a routine, but right now we are meeting all kinds of people and its sort of like Grand Central here.

Here are some general thoughts for now:

- I have heard it said that its easy to consider yourself to be your own dual-type, so, your being a SLI but mistakenly thinking you might be IEE would not be so unusual.

- When I think of all the EII's I know, one flaw I see across the board is foolishly falling for the wrong guy (I say guy because the ones I personally know happen to be women, though I briefly met/talked to an EII guy this month when traveling), and then the EII goes all-in before they know what they are doing, and makes a prematurely foolish commitment of the heart and then they stick to it with tenacious loyalty way longer than and wise-in-love person would. Because of such a strong desire to believe in love maybe? But I have seen all of them do this. People who have read my posts have seen my advise Maritsa to get out of bad relations she is sticking to too long. Minde is another EII here, and I do not know much about her love life, but when I mentioned this particular IEE fatal flaw in a post, she jumped in and said, yes, she is guilty. So, are you a fool in love? SLI on the other hand takes a lot of time before he considers a commitment, and he/she can avoid this foolish trap that way.

-Your opinions expressed here seem more logical thinking vs. feeling, and I get more ST than NF for you. That would keep you as an irrational, which you say is a better fit, and intuitively seems to fit you in my eyes, too. More on that distinction for the interested:

Rationals

• Tend to plan ahead, make decisions early.
• Are more often rigid and stubborn.
• Do not like to change their decisions.
• Tend to finish what they started.
• Usually have stiff movements.
• Usually more 'authoritarian' leadership style.
• Low stress tolerance.

Irrationals

• Tend to wait and see, more spontaneous.
• Are more often flexible and tolerant.
• Change their decisions frequently.
• Tend to start new things without finishing them.
• Usually have gentle movements.
• Usually more 'democratic' leadership style.
• High stress tolerance.

I like this short description of SLI by Rick DeLong:
http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...by-Rick-DeLong

These are also good type descriptions for a short comparison of types you are considering:
http://www.the16types.info/vbulletin...-and-M-Kuzmina

Okay, dear husband is getting hungry for dinner! That's my job. TTYL!

[Eliza Thomason]

Hi Raver,

What feelings do you get when you watch scenes of violent depiction? A fight, etc Does it make you uncomfortable? What happens to you and how do you react?

Personally I have trouble with this. Maybe its a Delta NF trait. When SLI dh and I are watching a show, I am the one who wants to turn the sound off, or way down, and look away and have him tell me when that part is over. He wants to follow the story and is not having the trouble I am with this.

[Beautiful sky]

IEE are social and outgoing. Shyness and anxiety at first contact with strangers is not type related as all my IEE friends were not talkative at first few contacts but these people love to travel and could. In comparison maybe I do one tenth in energy what they can if you can imagine and also I'm not as enthusiastic about newness in person contact. I'm less likely to make true close friends but more likely to have a few very long friendships. Also, I don't have expansive energy. My energy is not steady for a long time. It's go and crash go and crash I have horrible will,


Volition or will is the cognitive process by which an individual decides on and commits to a particular course of action.

I have such weak will that when I was 20 I had a house loan and without someone with strong will to take control I couldn't or didn't have it in me to buy a really great house.

I got the loan and the agent and found the house but couldn't say yes this one let's do it or I'm doing it.

[Exodus]

Could you kindly inform me of what your username used to be? (whether here or by PM)

If you want help, maybe you could provide some more concrete info about your behavior. A video is always good.

[Raver]

Hi Raver,

What feelings do you get when you watch scenes of violent depiction? A fight, ect Does it make you uncomfortable? What happens to you and how do you react?

I would say that any scenes involving murder or one individual being ganged up on by a group or one person being beat up badly by another person makes me feel sick in my stomach and very uneasy. If it's a fight scene that is just two individuals trading punches with no one getting the upper hand then it doesn't have much of an effect on me.

You must have written this as I was typing the other! Then I went out to Home Depot and did not see it.

I will admit my first guess is SLI. Sometimes, more than half the time, when I have a specific guess like that, it turns out to be right. I just wasn't ready for a "final answer" on that yet. Sometimes I can force a "sureness" about type by doing all kinds of research into the various types I have an idea of for the person, as well as the types the person is considering for him/herself, which usually includes asking the person questions on this research. Since that's a sort of puzzle that I enjoy, I actually started that effort today with about a dozen tabs open (a strain on my old computer) and then I didn't have time to read them. I bookmarked them and when I have more time I will enjoy the puzzle. Its the type of thing I like to make time for, except that right now I must jump on any good days left to finish outdoor painting and also we are in the midst of a change in my mom's care; its going to get easier when we settle in a routine, but right now we are meeting all kinds of people and its sort of like Grand Central here.

Here are some general thoughts for now:

- I have heard it said that its easy to consider yourself to be your own dual-type, so, your being a SLI but mistakenly thinking you might be IEE would not be so unusual.

- When I think of all the EII's I know, one flaw I see across the board is foolishly falling for the wrong guy (I say guy because the ones I personally know happen to be women, though I briefly met/talked to an EII guy this month when traveling), and then the EII goes all-in before they know what they are doing, and makes a prematurely foolish commitment of the heart and then they stick to it with tenacious loyalty way longer than and wise-in-love person would. Because of such a strong desire to believe in love maybe? But I have seen all of them do this. People who have read my posts have seen my advise Maritsa to get out of bad relations she is sticking to too long. Minde is another EII here, and I do not know much about her love life, but when I mentioned this particular IEE fatal flaw in a post, she jumped in and said, yes, she is guilty. So, are you a fool in love? SLI on the other hand takes a lot of time before he considers a commitment, and he/she can avoid this foolish trap that way.

I would say that I have made friends or had co-workers with people that turned out to be very bad and it took me a long time for me to end the friendship or work relationship. As for love, I've had a bad relationship in the past that ended after several months by her, but it wasn't something that I was trying hard to hold on to because I knew it wasn't going anywhere. I wouldn't rule out SLI completely, but to be honest it is not a type that I have thought would fit me.

• Tend to plan ahead, make decisions early. - No
• Are more often rigid and stubborn. - Yes
• Do not like to change their decisions. - No
• Tend to finish what they started. - Yes
• Usually have stiff movements. - Yes
• Usually more 'authoritarian' leadership style. - No
• Low stress tolerance. - Depends on the situation

Irrationals

• Tend to wait and see, more spontaneous. - Yes
• Are more often flexible and tolerant. No
• Change their decisions frequently. - Yes
• Tend to start new things without finishing them. - No
• Usually have gentle movements. - No
• Usually more 'democratic' leadership style. - Yes
• High stress tolerance. - Depends on the situation

Said what applies to me for rationally and irrationality. I feel like I have mix of both to be honest and this would be congruent with being an irrational subtype of a rational type perhaps? I don't know.

IEE are social and outgoing. Shyness and anxiety at first contact with strangers is not type related as all my IEE friends were not talkative at first few contacts but these people love to travel and could. In comparison maybe I do one tenth in energy what they can if you can imagine and also I'm not as enthusiastic about newness in person contact. I'm less likely to make true close friends but more likely to have a few very long friendships. Also, I don't have expansive energy. My energy is not steady for a long time. It's go and crash go and crash I have horrible will,

Volition or will is the cognitive process by which an individual decides on and commits to a particular course of action.

I have such weak will that when I was 20 I had a house loan and without someone with strong will to take control I couldn't or didn't have it in me to buy a really great house.

I got the loan and the agent and found the house but couldn't say yes this one let's do it or I'm doing it.

I wouldn't really call myself social or outgoing, I'm more of a homebody if anything. However, if someone invites me to go somewhere then I will be down to go. I agree with you on first contact with strangers, that's generally true of most ENFps. As for buying a house, I haven't been in that position yet, but I would prefer to buy it with someone else preferably and would only buy it by myself if I had no choice.

Could you kindly inform me of what your username used to be? (whether here or by PM)

If you want help, maybe you could provide some more concrete info about your behavior. A video is always good.

My first username was Young and Confused when I joined this forum 11 years ago. Then I changed it to Traveler and I finally changed it again to my current name of Raver and I have kept this name ever since. I could give some concrete info about my behavior, but as for a video, I don't plan on posting a video of myself any time soon, but I am open to doing it in the future though.

As for my behavior, I tend to be a homebody kind of person that enjoys spending time at home during the work week. At the weekend, I am open to hanging out though because I'm not working. I'd hang out during the work week if I had no choice, but it's not something that I'd prefer. I've been a chronic procrastinator when it comes to school work when I was at school and I would do things last second and sometimes succeed in doing it and other times not and this would give me a great deal of stress.

However, when it comes to paying bills, I like to do it as soon as possible and I hate having any thing paid late. I've mostly been a passive person for most of my life, that was almost never aggressive. However, I have changed as I've gotten older because of my environment and I've become more assertive as I've gotten older. I can be aggressive and rude at times if pushed, but I hate doing this and I always feel guilty about it after.

I'm polite to strangers, but I usually don't say much to them and I tend to keep my distance with the majority of people that I work with or friends of friends unless circumstances have made me more comfortable with them for whatever reason. I also don't really reveal my full personality to people unless they're a close friend or a family member or someone that I really trust.

If I find a subject interesting, I can spend a lot of time researching it online to learn more about it as much as possible until there's nothing more to gain out of it and then I'll move on to something else or come back to it later. If I have little to no interest in the subject like what happened in school sometimes then it would feel like torture for me to study the subject.

[Beautiful sky]

I would say that any scenes involving murder or one individual being ganged up on by a group or one person being beat up badly by another person makes me feel sick in my stomach and very uneasy. If it's a fight scene that is just two individuals trading punches with no one getting the upper hand then it doesn't have much of an effect on me.



I would say that I have made friends or had co-workers with people that turned out to be very bad and it took me a long time for me to end the friendship or work relationship. As for love, I've had a bad relationship in the past that ended after several months by her, but it wasn't something that I was trying hard to hold on to because I knew it wasn't going anywhere. I wouldn't rule out SLI completely, but to be honest it is not a type that I have thought would fit me.

• Tend to plan ahead, make decisions early. - No
• Are more often rigid and stubborn. - Yes
• Do not like to change their decisions. - No
• Tend to finish what they started. - Yes
• Usually have stiff movements. - Yes
• Usually more 'authoritarian' leadership style. - No
• Low stress tolerance. - Depends on the situation

Irrationals

• Tend to wait and see, more spontaneous. - Yes
• Are more often flexible and tolerant. No
• Change their decisions frequently. - Yes
• Tend to start new things without finishing them. - No
• Usually have gentle movements. - No
• Usually more 'democratic' leadership style. - Yes
• High stress tolerance. - Depends on the situation

Said what applies to me for rationally and irrationality. I feel like I have mix of both to be honest and this would be congruent with being an irrational subtype of a rational type perhaps? I don't know.



I wouldn't really call myself social or outgoing, I'm more of a homebody if anything. However, if someone invites me to go somewhere then I will be down to go. I agree with you on first contact with strangers, that's generally true of most ENFps. As for buying a house, I haven't been in that position yet, but I would prefer to buy it with someone else preferably and would only buy it by myself if I had no choice.



My first username was Young and Confused when I joined this forum 11 years ago. Then I changed it to Traveler and I finally changed it again to my current name of Raver and I have kept this name ever since. I could give some concrete info about my behavior, but as for a video, I don't plan on posting a video of myself any time soon, but I am open to doing it in the future though.

As for my behavior, I tend to be a homebody kind of person that enjoys spending time at home during the work week. At the weekend, I am open to hanging out though because I'm not working. I'd hang out during the work week if I had no choice, but it's not something that I'd prefer. I've been a chronic procrastinator when it comes to school work when I was at school and I would do things last second and sometimes succeed in doing it and other times not and this would give me a great deal of stress.

However, when it comes to paying bills, I like to do it as soon as possible and I hate having any thing paid late. I've mostly been a passive person for most of my life, that was almost never aggressive. However, I have changed as I've gotten older because of my environment and I've become more assertive as I've gotten older. I can be aggressive and rude at times if pushed, but I hate doing this and I always feel guilty about it after.

I'm polite to strangers, but I usually don't say much to them and I tend to keep my distance with the majority of people that I work with or friends of friends unless circumstances have made me more comfortable with them for whatever reason. I also don't really reveal my full personality to people unless they're a close friend or a family member or someone that I really trust.

If I find a subject interesting, I can spend a lot of time researching it online to learn more about it as much as possible until there's nothing more to gain out of it and then I'll move on to something else or come back to it later. If I have little to no interest in the subject like what happened in school sometimes then it would feel like torture for me to study the subject.

Well your Se falls in Delta. Let's figure out your Ne

Extraverted intuition internal statics of objects Ne is responsible for understanding the essence (permanent but not obvious traits) of a thing, estimating the potential and latent capabilities for people and things, and visualizing the likely outcome of events. It is responsible for the sense of interest or boredom. Ne will speculate as to why an event occurs, but sees the specific event as static and unalterable.

Pick one person that you've recently gotten in relatively close contact with. Thinking of this person and talking to them and interacting with them, have you picked up on "what this person is about" aspects with few words?

Ne issues are - spreading yourself too thin without deeply involving yourself in something for years. Like on and off in something or multiple areas of something. Jack of all not an expert in one.

Introverted ethics (feeling) internal statics of fields Fi Socionics symbol Fi.svg Fi is responsible for understanding the quality, nature, and proper maintenance of personal relations; makes moral judgments; and aspires to humanism and kindness. Fi has a strong understanding of the social hierarchy and how people feel about each other, their attitudes of like or dislike, enthrallment or disgust, repulsion or attraction, enmity or friendship.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YMAkzRoiDjg

When I make comments about disliking a person's rude behavior toward the handicapped and elderly on the train it exhibits an understanding of the social hierarchy. When I dislike or disgust toward people who defy the social hierarchy exhibits my understanding of the quality, nature and proper maintenance of personal relations. "Don't treat grandmother that way" because she's in this hierarchy in our social system. When I acknowledge your love of the kindness, generosity and giving spirit of human beings, I show that you aspire to humanism and kindness as well as address my attitudes of like or dislike toward the same.

Have you watched my video and how I express my Fi judgement? Talking to an Fi type about issues that are wrong or unfair to people you'll see how Fi just starts pouring out. Thinking of the questions that I answer, if you answer the same questions would you too Fi in you the same way.

[Raver]

Pick one person that you've recently gotten in relatively close contact with. Thinking of this person and talking to them and interacting with them, have you picked up on "what this person is about" aspects with few words?

Yes and no. I've definitely got some ideas about this individual within the first couple of meetings, but they are likely to become more detailed later on upon more interaction. So in a sense, it's easy to get an idea of someone at the beginning, it's only after extensive meetings that I will truly figure out the person completely.

Ne issues are - spreading yourself too thin without deeply involving yourself in something for years. Like on and off in something or multiple areas of something. Jack of all not an expert in one.

I tend to find a subject interesting and deeply immerse myself into it and then when I get bored of it or exhausted it I will move on to something else. However, I will come back to it later if I feel I haven't gotten enough information on it. It's kind of like grabbing as much information on something that I can in a short period of time, moving on to something else and then coming back to the first idea later.

Have you watched my video and how I express my Fi judgement? Talking to an Fi type about issues that are wrong or unfair to people you'll see how Fi just starts pouring out. Thinking of the questions that I answer, if you answer the same questions would you too Fi in you the same way.

I've seen bits and pieces of your video, but it was a while ago so I don't remember it completely.