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Thread: Type My Roommate

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    Strategic decisive obstinate aristocrat Wyrd's Avatar
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    Default Type My Roommate

    My roommate and I do not get along very well. She's not an outright bully like one of my other roommates, but it's quite rough relations nevertheless. It seems the only time she's ever initiated conversation with me is the one time she told me that actually, she can't sleep with a dim light on if I have a lot of work and have to do some after it gets dark (contrary to what I heard/interpreted from her earlier. Now I leave the room if I need light at night). I try to initiate conversation with her a lot but often she ignores me and gives off an air of not wanting to talk to me. Other times we've talked and it doesn't seem that way at all. She's just somehow really, really hard to read.

    She invites her friend in, and sometimes her friend's friends, while I prefer that if I'm going to talk to people it's in public (although this might be a close friend, who knows). She seems like she likes to stay in the room and not do things much but I'm often running around, even if I'm just doing something mundane like studying (I like having a change of environment pretty frequently), so I'm not exactly sure of how much she's in here or for what reasons she leaves.

    I'm fairly confident she's a j because her things are fairly neat. She appears to have things well-sorted, although differently than how I sort mine, and also there is never trash/rotting food/dirty clothes on the floor. However, it doesn't seem like there's as much keeping things neat and pretty as I tend to focus on, since she often has her shoes on the floor facing different directions, or books leaning over, or her brush upside-down. I think that would be sort of a weak j (and even a strong j doesn't have to be completely OCD). However, both of us independently thought the mirror was dirty and not just messed up and tried to clean it in various ways to no avail. I considered using my screwdriver to just take it off the wall but that might look worse than it is (who knows what's behind the mirror) and I'm not sure I'm actually allowed to do that either. The biggest difference between how she organizes her things and how I do mine is she tends to keep things like cleaning supplies, hygiene products, and food out in the open while I tend to keep mine either completely hidden away or not so prominent.

    The he way she decorates her room is quite different from how I decorate mine. Her things are more bubbly, chique, casual, and modern but I also get a sort of warm/comfy vibe and not a cool/sleek vibe. She likes white, pastel colors, and pink/magenta and turquoise the best. On the other hand, I have black and grey where she has white and a mix of dark and bright by highly saturated colors where she has pastel, and red/purple instead of teal/magenta. I also have a lot of sort of classy-looking things compared to her.

    We we both like to read a lot but our book choices are very different. I have a lot of literature/classics and some nonfiction (all of which is over humanities things: history, politics, music, literature, languages/linguistics, etc.) and some quite eclectic books I have various reasons to read, while hers is mostly YA novels (about half or more YA fantasy, but not exclusively fantasy, and I can't actually tell what all of it is), the sole exception being her book club books.

    She also doesn't seem to like to eat real food and makes all her meals in the microwave. I often go whole days barely eating anything but when I want to eat food, I want real food. We both seem to enjoy caffeine but I prefer (plain black) tea and coffee (and stronger is better) and she drinks huge amounts of Vanilla Coke. I do like that I've never seen her buy a plastic water bottle though, instead using her water filter and reusable containers. People who buy plastic bottles of just plain tap water all the time like it's some sort of lifestyle/hobby/culture thing tick me off. Multiply that several times if they don't recycle/reuse the bottles when it's not difficult to do so.

    So, please help me figure out what my rooommate's type is and how I can better get along with her. Even if we're not going to hit it off like some of my other roommates I at least want it to not be so tense always.

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    Oh, she's always away and ignores me. Didn't I say that? I'm also often away as well. So personal things are harder to classify.

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    Humanist Maritsa's Avatar
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    I don't think anything you described is type related. I can say that whatever is holding her back from talking to you might be whatever is going on in her head apart from you. Finding the key tp her maybe hard because she doesn't show interest in building a relationship with you.

    So many things can be going on with someone who doesn't want to talk to you. They can be experiencing depression etc..want their own space but feel like they are not getting it so they laps into a bad mood.

    So an extravert may seem like an introvert in that they shut in and don't engage with people but what you need to do here is watch and observe what other things the person interacts with. Extraverts interact with the outside world not necessarily with people that make them so. They can also interact with TV, games, internet and read books etc. I would watch and see where the person's time is spent. In my younger years, I used to ignore my external state, people, objects a lot. I used to go hiking but not take in my surroundings as I was in my head thinking of my relationships and feelings a lot.

    I would offer a hike and see where this person's mind wonders off to. I would watch them to see if their eyes are scanning the environment or if they are pulling inwards. Some extraverts also don't talk a lot in company because they are taking in their environment through other senses, so I would pu them through various tasks and tests. I would for instance ask an SLE to show me a dance move and knowing SLE devalue Fi and can seem like total introverts when they are in a position of authority they excursive their will so they will watch you dance and keep correcting you until you get it. I observe to see what they talk about and listen to the words that they use.

    Ask them about certain foods, diets, whatever else to see what information element they use.

    From the list I can only think of three of the functions the is going on here Se, Si, or Fe. If that person were an Fe base then their long frowns and pestering you about stuff to keep healthy would be noticeable so I may rule it out. It's probably Se or Si.


    Extraverted logic (thinking) external dynamics of objects Te Socionics symbol Te.svg Te is efficiency of an action, technical processes, the accomplishment of work, the efficient and prudent use of resources, factual accuracy, and the acquisition of relevant and useful information. Te understands the difference between effective and ineffective behavior when performing a procedure or accomplishing a task, and aspires to increase the frequency of productive outcomes within a system.

    Extraverted ethics (feeling) internal dynamics of objects Fe Socionics symbol Fe.svg Fe is responsible for the perception of an emotional state in an individual and the bodily and linguistic expression of emotions. Fe is able to influence others' emotional condition and to communicate its own, "infecting" others. Fe is used especially in generating and recognizing excitement and enthusiasm.

    Extraverted sensing external statics of objects Se Socionics symbol Se.svg Se is responsible for the perception, control, defense, and acquisition of space, territory, and control. It observes outward appearances, estimates whether forces are in alignment or conflict, and uses strength of will and power-based methods to achieve purposes. Se understands territory and physical aggression. It is also the function of contact and apprehension of qualia.

    Extraverted intuition internal statics of objects Ne Socionics symbol Ne.svg Ne is responsible for understanding the essence (permanent but not obvious traits) of a thing, estimating the potential and latent capabilities for people and things, and visualizing the likely outcome of events. It is responsible for the sense of interest or boredom. Ne will speculate as to why an event occurs, but sees the specific event as static and unalterable.

    Introverted logic (thinking) external statics of fields Ti Socionics symbol Ti.svg Ti is responsible for understanding logic and structure, categorizations, ordering and priorities, logical analysis and distinctions, logical explanations. Ti interprets information according to how it fits into a validating system. Ti is particularly aware of logical consistency and how concepts relate to each other in meaning and structure, independently of particular purposes.

    Introverted ethics (feeling) internal statics of fields Fi Socionics symbol Fi.svg Fi is responsible for understanding the quality, nature, and proper maintenance of personal relations; makes moral judgments; and aspires to humanism and kindness. Fi has a strong understanding of the social hierarchy and how people feel about each other, their attitudes of like or dislike, enthrallment or disgust, repulsion or attraction, enmity or friendship.

    Introverted sensing external dynamics of fields Si Socionics symbol Si.svg Si is responsible for perception of physical sensations; questions of comfort, coziness, and pleasure; and a sense of harmony and acclimation with one's environment (especially physical). Si understand how well a person or thing's behavior agrees with its nature as well as the differences between comfortable behaviors and positions and uncomfortable ones.

    Introverted intuition internal dynamics of fields Ni Socionics symbol Ni.svg Ni is responsible for the estimation of the passage of time, the understanding of a course of processes in time, and forecasting. Ni understand how things may change and evolve over time and throughout history. Ni is acutely aware of events that are occurring outside of the immediate perception of the moment, and sees events as part of a continuous flow. Ni perceives the possible ramifications of future events and notices ties to the past. Ni observes behavioral patterns and can assess a person's character.
    Last edited by Maritsa; 09-25-2016 at 07:41 AM.
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Well, I have her as likely ENTj for what it's worth. I said she reads a lot of fantasy YA novels, what is Se or Si lead about that? Secondary, maybe, but not lead. Also, as I said, she hates eating real food, so not Si. Where the heck did you get your typing from? Is it just the typical "people who annoy me are Sx because I'm Nx and therefore special?" Also, she's fairly orderly, as I said, just not OCD level, so why irrational? Especially introverted irrational, those tend to not be able to keep anything together at all. She also prefers more rational colors, which you should have recognized, and things I associate with Te in general.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Schildmaid View Post
    Well, I have her as likely ENTj for what it's worth. I said she reads a lot of fantasy YA novels, what is Se or Si lead about that? Secondary, maybe, but not lead. Also, as I said, she hates eating real food, so not Si. Where the heck did you get your typing from? Is it just the typical "people who annoy me are Sx because I'm Nx and therefore special?" Also, she's fairly orderly, as I said, just not OCD level, so why irrational? Especially introverted irrational, those tend to not be able to keep anything together at all. She also prefers more rational colors, which you should have recognized, and things I associate with Te in general.
    SEI can be orderly
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Strategic decisive obstinate aristocrat Wyrd's Avatar
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    Yeah, but the fantasy books? The J colors? The general lack of strong emphasis on aesthetics? You can't just type people as xSxp because you don't entirely like them.

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    Probably not Si and Fe valuing so Gamma quadra, rational more likely so ESI or LIE, but could be any type if depressed and/or holding a grudge against you i guess

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    I wish I had the problem of roomates not wanting to talk to me. Every roommate I've ever had wants to be BFF's and gets all up in my business. I even used to avoid coming home when I saw one of my roommates cars in the driveway because everytime I saw her she'd keep me stuck for an hour talking my ear off about the most mudane shit. Eventually I'd just walk away and she'd just sit and talk to herself. She was crazy.

    A quiet clean roommate who keeps to themselves seems perfect.
    Last edited by Starfall; 09-25-2016 at 10:10 AM.
    Quote Originally Posted by jxrtes View Post
    betas should be kept in zoos for children to stare and throw pop corn at.

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    But it's inhuman-seeming how little she talks to me. I banged my head once and cried out in pain but she just sat there and I saw she had her headphones on. It's incredibly hard to talk to her at all, and I'm sure I've talked to her friends more than to her herself.

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    You don't provide very much information to go on, but when I was reading your original post, my first thought was SLI for neatness, but then I rejected that because of the microwaved foods. I also got an impression of ESI, because they can be hard to get to know, but are not hostile without reason, as some roommates can be.

    Regarding her being LIE: Schildmaid, I happen to think you are LSI, and since I get along great with LSI's when we are in private (almost like a dual), if she is not sort of keeping an eye on you to make sure you are OK and helping you do things and you guys are not having long discussions about every topic under the sun, then she is probably not LIE.

    If you think she is Gamma, then, based on her room colors and reading preferences, I would say ESI. Based on her ignoring you most of the time and her orderliness and her friend interactions, I would say ILI, but an ESI could do that, too, I guess.

    Incidentally, I agree with @Starfall about the desirability of having a neat roommate who doesn't want to talk all the time. If you think this is a flaw, perhaps you are looking for someone who does Fe.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Schildmaid View Post
    But it's inhuman-seeming how little she talks to me. I banged my head once and cried out in pain but she just sat there and I saw she had her headphones on. It's incredibly hard to talk to her at all, and I'm sure I've talked to her friends more than to her herself.
    Wow she must have problems

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr inappropriate View Post
    Wow she must have problems
    Yeah, I don't think that's entirely due to her type either.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Schildmaid View Post
    Yeah, I don't think that's entirely due to her type either.
    hahah lol

    I thought you deliberately banged your head against wall to get her attention or sth and I was critizing you.

    Next time, I'll be more carefull while reading

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    Quote Originally Posted by Schildmaid View Post
    Yeah, but the fantasy books? The J colors? The general lack of strong emphasis on aesthetics? You can't just type people as xSxp because you don't entirely like them.
    J is mbti Te, si is Socionics
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    Js/rationals tend to prefer colors towards the edge of the visible spectrum (red, purple, blue, etc.) and Ps/irrationals prefer ones in the middle (orange, yellow, green, etc.) from what I've seen. I'm not sure exactly which colors refer to which cognitive functions though, I just get the sense that they do based on the most common patterns I notice in color preferences (e.g. all warm/cool colors, two colors at the exact same distance from the center of the visible spectrum as each other).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Schildmaid View Post
    Well, I have her as likely ENTj for what it's worth. I said she reads a lot of fantasy YA novels, what is Se or Si lead about that? Secondary, maybe, but not lead. Also, as I said, she hates eating real food, so not Si.
    +1 vote for a gamma rational

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    I don't think we're going to solve this. She would have to talk to me and I probably need more experience with typing people. She's probably an Alpha now that I have an idea what the quadra differences really are, so that would be LII (there's no way she's ESE or an irrational).

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    Quote Originally Posted by Schildmaid View Post
    My roommate and I do not get along very well. She's not an outright bully like one of my other roommates, but it's quite rough relations nevertheless. It seems the only time she's ever initiated conversation with me is the one time she told me that actually, she can't sleep with a dim light on if I have a lot of work and have to do some after it gets dark (contrary to what I heard/interpreted from her earlier. Now I leave the room if I need light at night). I try to initiate conversation with her a lot but often she ignores me and gives off an air of not wanting to talk to me. Other times we've talked and it doesn't seem that way at all. She's just somehow really, really hard to read.

    She invites her friend in, and sometimes her friend's friends, while I prefer that if I'm going to talk to people it's in public (although this might be a close friend, who knows). She seems like she likes to stay in the room and not do things much but I'm often running around, even if I'm just doing something mundane like studying (I like having a change of environment pretty frequently), so I'm not exactly sure of how much she's in here or for what reasons she leaves.

    I'm fairly confident she's a j because her things are fairly neat. She appears to have things well-sorted, although differently than how I sort mine, and also there is never trash/rotting food/dirty clothes on the floor. However, it doesn't seem like there's as much keeping things neat and pretty as I tend to focus on, since she often has her shoes on the floor facing different directions, or books leaning over, or her brush upside-down. I think that would be sort of a weak j (and even a strong j doesn't have to be completely OCD). However, both of us independently thought the mirror was dirty and not just messed up and tried to clean it in various ways to no avail. I considered using my screwdriver to just take it off the wall but that might look worse than it is (who knows what's behind the mirror) and I'm not sure I'm actually allowed to do that either. The biggest difference between how she organizes her things and how I do mine is she tends to keep things like cleaning supplies, hygiene products, and food out in the open while I tend to keep mine either completely hidden away or not so prominent.

    The he way she decorates her room is quite different from how I decorate mine. Her things are more bubbly, chique, casual, and modern but I also get a sort of warm/comfy vibe and not a cool/sleek vibe. She likes white, pastel colors, and pink/magenta and turquoise the best. On the other hand, I have black and grey where she has white and a mix of dark and bright by highly saturated colors where she has pastel, and red/purple instead of teal/magenta. I also have a lot of sort of classy-looking things compared to her.

    We we both like to read a lot but our book choices are very different. I have a lot of literature/classics and some nonfiction (all of which is over humanities things: history, politics, music, literature, languages/linguistics, etc.) and some quite eclectic books I have various reasons to read, while hers is mostly YA novels (about half or more YA fantasy, but not exclusively fantasy, and I can't actually tell what all of it is), the sole exception being her book club books.

    She also doesn't seem to like to eat real food and makes all her meals in the microwave. I often go whole days barely eating anything but when I want to eat food, I want real food. We both seem to enjoy caffeine but I prefer (plain black) tea and coffee (and stronger is better) and she drinks huge amounts of Vanilla Coke. I do like that I've never seen her buy a plastic water bottle though, instead using her water filter and reusable containers. People who buy plastic bottles of just plain tap water all the time like it's some sort of lifestyle/hobby/culture thing tick me off. Multiply that several times if they don't recycle/reuse the bottles when it's not difficult to do so.

    So, please help me figure out what my rooommate's type is and how I can better get along with her. Even if we're not going to hit it off like some of my other roommates I at least want it to not be so tense always.
    Quote Originally Posted by Schildmaid View Post
    But it's inhuman-seeming how little she talks to me. I banged my head once and cried out in pain but she just sat there and I saw she had her headphones on. It's incredibly hard to talk to her at all, and I'm sure I've talked to her friends more than to her herself.
    The lack of responsiveness strongly suggests subdued Fe, or even Fe Vulnerable. It's natural that you would find this very difficult to deal with as an EIE. The point about her inviting friends in and not going out much also supports Fi > Fe, and also weak Se. Introverted intuitive types tend to be a bit hermetic or withdrawn in that sense.

    I wouldn't put a ton of stock in what she reads or wears (though it can give useful information in more extreme cases).

    I'm getting conflicting evidence about just how much attention she puts into maintaining and ordering her physical environment and health. Socionically, that's all sensing, Si and Se. It's a bit hard to see a sensing introvert like SLI or ESI microwaving all their meals. I think ILI is probably a safe bet, but I might also consider EII.

    How does she respond to conflict? Is she avoidant of it? Does she express things harshly or does she avoid dealing with unpleasant subjects? How does she behave with her friends?

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