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Thread: Passionate romancing style: "I love +Fe" or "I am loved -Fe"

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    yeves's Avatar
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    Default Passionate romancing style: "I love +Fe" or "I am loved -Fe"

    What are the opinions on this formulation of differences between +F and -F styles of loving? I haven't found another discussion about this so I'm posing it here.

    Does the below imply that NF types are looking for an object of infatuation, for someone to idealize and to love, while SF types take care that they are loved by others?


    V. Gulenko: We will begin this conversation on the topic of accentuation of Fe emotions and Ti structural logic. This is a compatible accentuation - it entails attraction towards each other, gradual closing of the distance, and fixation. What is this scenario called? People with accentuated Fe prefer the "Passionate love scenario". They are exalted, or demonstrative, it doesn't matter ... they either want to be loved by others or to love themselves - "I am loved" or "I love". And they want to love or to be loved demonstratively. For this reason they invest everything at attracting attention of the preferred sex to themselves. Very often they succeed in this, they manage this very well - through a kind of highlighting of various emotional parts in clothing, appearance, and so on.

    An important moment here: If the accentuation is on -Fe, then "I am loved" is more important to them than "I love" (ESE, SEE).
    If the accentuation is on +Fe - this is exalted emotion, admiration of someone - then "I love", exaltation, is more important than "I'm loved" (EIE, IEE).


    http://wikisocion.org/en/index.php?t..._Love_Scenario

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    both sides, now wacey's Avatar
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    I am loved is more important for me personally. Good topic.
    "Deep in the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic."



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    To clarify, it looks like he is talking only about the Passionate Communication Styles and not all NFs and SFs, correct?

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    The Iniquitous inumbra's Avatar
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    i will make you love me

    i will show you i love you

    ?

    either is nice.

    but i seem to like the IxFx - ExTx one best.
    Last edited by inumbra; 09-19-2016 at 07:41 AM.

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    "All shall love me and despair!"

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    per aspera ad astra Chae's Avatar
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    Can confirm, both my duals and conflictors act like that.

    When I interact with someone I have feelings for, I always use to express that I like them and appreciate what they do - that's my ILI-ness, always aiming at SEE.

    -Fe is also the reason why I am often enthralled by enneagram 3w2. They want soooo much love (in different shapes of course, recognition is one of them) you'd think it's impossible to give. But here I am, ready to provide the guidance. Showering them with what they need is one thing, but I want to encourage these frequently very troubled types to love themselves, too. It steers them into the direction of healthy +Fe because when you love yourself, loving others flows naturally, give/receive becomes easier and 100% more rewarding than just expecting compensation for what you cannot generate yourself.

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    Humanist Maritsa's Avatar
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    That I love is more important to me. Giving love
    -
    Dual type (as per tcaudilllg)
    Enneagram 2w1sw(1w9) helps others to live up to their own standards of what a good person is and is very behind the scenes in the process.
    Tritype 1-2-6 stacking sp/sx


    I'm constantly looking to align the real with the ideal.I've been more oriented toward being overly idealistic by expecting the real to match the ideal. My thinking side is dominent. The result is that sometimes I can be overly impersonal or self-centered in my approach, not being understanding of others in the process and simply thinking "you should do this" or "everyone should follor this rule"..."regardless of how they feel or where they're coming from"which just isn't a good attitude to have. It is a way, though, to give oneself an artificial sense of self-justification. LSE

    Best description of functions:
    http://socionicsstudy.blogspot.com/2...functions.html

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    per aspera ad astra Chae's Avatar
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    Something else I noticed... I get unnecessarily angry when someone blatantly disrespects a person that I like, their presence does not matter. Anger is always some sort of emotional involvement, which is exactly what -Fe users anticipate. Showing disdain for a -Fe type's antagonists (IRL example from last week: controlling parents, conservative society) is also something that's expected.

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    I want to love and be loved! Does that mean I have suprahuman emotional powers?

    [H-LII-Ne] [FVEL, Chekhov] [4w5, 9w8, 6w5 sp/sx]



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    Quote Originally Posted by epheme View Post
    To clarify, it looks like he is talking only about the Passionate Communication Styles and not all NFs and SFs, correct?
    Viktor Gulenko tied these attitudes to the sign on extraverted feeling (+Fe/-Fi), which every type has in socionics. If ESE expects to "be loved" then ESE's dual LII is expecting "to love someone" as a reciprocating attitude--so this isn't only for Passionate Communication Style types, but would extend to other types by default. Next, I looked up some threads about +/- signs but they were confusing and had different assignments, so I asked this question if anyone else had paid attention to this (it would make it easier to tell kindred types apart for example).

    Quote Originally Posted by Chae View Post
    Can confirm, both my duals and conflictors act like that.

    When I interact with someone I have feelings for, I always use to express that I like them and appreciate what they do - that's my ILI-ness, always aiming at SEE.

    -Fe is also the reason why I am often enthralled by enneagram 3w2. They want soooo much love (in different shapes of course, recognition is one of them) you'd think it's impossible to give. But here I am, ready to provide the guidance. Showering them with what they need is one thing, but I want to encourage these frequently very troubled types to love themselves, too. It steers them into the direction of healthy +Fe because when you love yourself, loving others flows naturally, give/receive becomes easier and 100% more rewarding than just expecting compensation for what you cannot generate yourself.
    thanks very informative!

    The ESE and SEE type descriptions do seem to indicate that they expect to be loved and admired--and dress to impress! This would mean that their duals LII and ILI would inversely seek someone to love and to idealize.

    I had trouble extending this to other types and was hoping someone could help. IEEs seem to seek someone they could love and admire? Same with EIEs?
    What about introverted feeling types? EII seem to need someone to idealize and admire, but what about SEIs, ESIs, and IEIs?

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    yeves's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chryssie View Post
    I want to love and be loved! Does that mean I have suprahuman emotional powers?
    When you are going out Chryssie which one do you worry about the most? Which one comes to your mind first?

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    Quote Originally Posted by yeves View Post
    When you are going out Chryssie which one do you worry about the most? Which one comes to your mind first?
    I want to be loved mostly. Or at least tolerated and liked.

    [H-LII-Ne] [FVEL, Chekhov] [4w5, 9w8, 6w5 sp/sx]



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    rob timidly hacim's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chryssie View Post
    I want to love and be loved! Does that mean I have suprahuman emotional powers?
    It means you're a typical human specimen.

    Some types may be more predisposed to give or to receive love, but for a fulfilling life you must do/experience both.

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    Poster Nutbag chips and underwear's Avatar
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    I prefer to "be loved" than "to love." Does that make me a selfish bastard?
    LII-Ne/H, wannabe C

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